John Dear Letter
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Posted:Jun 17, 2008 7:21 pm
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2008 11:30 pm 2260 Views
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John dear... Peter Dear...
What ever the letter name.
I am about to send Peter one of those break up letter.
But when i type it, and pour my heart to the mail, it feels sad.
What i write there only memories during our holidays in Bali.
Its been two month since April ! too quick to say he seemed don't care at all where this end up.. he might will say, well we do plan to had another vacation in december.. and he will also said, i did send you mail saying i am busy.
Do i have to send it now to ask how and where to this relationship headed ?
I don't have guts to mail it. I am a coward...
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my first betrayal...
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Posted:Jun 17, 2008 4:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2008 6:19 pm 2569 Views
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i sign up on a dating site !!
I don't know whether it consider as cheating or not...
Could it lead into betrayal ? poor petey....
I just think... why he never call me first ?
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Power of words (believe it or not!!)
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Posted:Jun 16, 2008 4:08 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2008 3:44 am 2534 Views
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I read a news paper article about the power of positive words.
This guy even try the test with two different jar filled with cooked rice, cooked with same method, same time.
One of the jar he put tags as "Good" and another one is "Bad".
And everyday he and his family member say different words in front of those two jars.
With the jar with "good" tag they will say positive words like "you are nice, you are sweet, you are smart, you are good, we love you, you are every thing, etc"
And with other jar with "bad" tags they sad negative words like "you are ugly, you are fat, you are dumb, you are nothing, you are garbage, you are worthless, etc"
Two weeks after that he see the difference between those two jar !!
The jar with the "good" tags the rice inside the jar only turn into yellowish.
The jar with the tag "bad" when they open the jar its smell so stink, and the color turn into grey-black !
He even attach the pictures of the two jar with his article.
I read this and thinking....
If that could happened to those two different jar of rice... what could possibly happened to human is almost the same....
How the power of words could encourage people, and !! if we kept saying positive words to other people... they wont turn into something bad like the rice on the "bad" jar.
I suddenly remember my niece... i will start to say something positive about other people...
and starting with you !
YOU ARE A SWEET FRIEND !! 
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I call him again...
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Posted:Jun 16, 2008 12:38 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 2:58 am 2173 Views
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Last night i call him at 7.30 pm.
He was a sleep. Miss him so much... i like the voice of him when he is half a sleep ! i could imagine his face with closed eyes trying to talk.. hahaha..
We talk for about 12 minutes.. yeah it was less.. but he seemed very sleepy.
I ask about his heavy week, and about his .
He is mumbling about his , tom tom , is about to do the blood test. I don't know for sure why.. but i hope thomas is okay.
He still not sure which apartment he will bought. He find two apartment one in the river bank, another one near with asian market.
Peter like spices, he like cooking.. so i said just choose the best for him. Because it will be a good investment. He said thats why he haven't decide yet. Because he still want to know about school for his near those apartment.
When i said i miss your voice, he just stay in silent.. i thought he was asleep... but then he said i miss you a lot too.
Hear that made me feel like i want to hug him !!!
I just want to understand that we both been busy, and he have to think about those apartment. I don't want to be called selfish. So.. until today i never discuss about our next vacation plan in December.. i think it will be to early to discuss...
... i am glad he is okay, safe.. and his are healthy too 
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My another loss
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Posted:Jun 15, 2008 5:50 pm
Last Updated:Jun 16, 2008 4:09 am 2483 Views
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Today my "allies" at office come to me and site right next to me.
He said he put his resignation letter today at maintenance superintendent desk. This will be his last rotation.
I am so sad. Three days ago, got news on my promotion and today i got news that my best friend is leaving back to Canada.
I wont be able to see him anymore.
He had two , as silly as me. He is the one that i could talk to about problems in office.
You know.. sometimes woman need a listener only to made us feel better. And he is a good listener.
I feel so upset because even though my company is international company, but this is the worse management that i ever see !!!
I lost two of my canadian best friend, one from usa... all of those guys are the best place you could share about your problems, and they share their family stories with me too !
They could encourage me... and even though they were among top level management.. they share their stories and laugh and sad with me...
I loose another best friend here...
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Curry delight
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Posted:Jun 15, 2008 4:32 am
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2024 2:58 am 2223 Views
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Today dinner i have chicken curry.
Its yummy...
I remember a friend that really like curry that he even put the curry as pizza topping...
i taste it.. weird.. but its .. weirdly delicious..hahaha !
I think every cooking is magic.. have different taste..
My mom like to cook curry too.. she do meat curry, chicken and eggs curry.
I think because we had the middle east culture that mixed up with our culture curry is nothing new on our daily menu..
..never see fish curry.. maybe theres somebody do the fish curry.. but i dont know what fish that "match" with the curry taste..
but too much curry does made me sick.. 
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What should i do ?
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Posted:Jun 15, 2008 12:40 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2008 5:32 pm 2340 Views
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This is the 2nd time my indonesian boss making excuses not to raise my salary. Instead giving me higher salary due to promotion he gave that to my partner because SHE IS ABOUT TO HAVE BABY.
She will have her baby in August.
I feel so hurt because i do my best for my work, including covering up that girl because her pregnancy "seemed" hard.
And i do extra work that other head department ask me to, like training new secretary for other department.
First time i didn't got raise because she will get married and need money. But then, a higher level boss gave me the promotion because he did see me work better than the other partner.
It was not a professional decision, and bad reason to give someone promotion.. and it happened to me twice !!!
Once, the first promotion, i ask why i didn't get the promotion. And i got the answer. And beside that , yes, my salary is more than her before that. We do have same position. But i just can not accept the fact that she actually did nothing at office !!!!!
Am i being so selfish if i, once again, come to my boss and ask why he did that to me ??
Because one of my supervisor did say that to me, i am being selfish and not understand that my partner is pregnant and need money ???
They did this alot of time, and it does stress me out since i am SINGLE !!!!
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What the first that you remember ?
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Posted:Jun 14, 2008 12:39 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2008 12:09 am 2613 Views
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I was thinking about "my first" of my life.
And.. hahaha.. i was very late if compared to other...
First time ride motorcycle age 12
First time finish computer course (word, lotus, dbase) age 12 (i am the youngest!)
First time solo drive car on highway 14 (yes.. i am a law breaker !
First love at age 15 years old (i only see him from distance !)
First province class trophy writing about president election system age 16 (shaking when receive the trophy from governor.
First Caucasian love age 20 (my first real boyfriend)
First "major" break up age 24.
First kiss... at age.. 24 !!!! (i should get the "never been kissed movie" interview..hahah!)
Theres so many first that made me grinned, and made me blush or just smile... i've been through alot ! but its life.. and i enjoy it !
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The sexual preference rights
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Posted:Jun 13, 2008 7:39 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2008 7:17 pm 2598 Views
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I was asked once by a friend when i went to his house while i was in university. Do you mind if i am a gay ?
My answer is short of like this "uhmm..ohh.. no"
I watch tv about people that born with genetic disability that made them "trapped" inside the wrong body.
First in my thought that was impossible, because God almighty create human as perfect as it should..(too naive thought i know).
I know theres some people not able to see since they were born.. but they've been blessed with beautiful voice. Or a person can't walk since they were baby, able to paint like normal people. Thats what i said about being perfect in one other way.
Back to genetics.
Fist i said i wont mind with my friend being gay just for politeness. Then now i think again..
This guy who claimed him self as a gay, give his seat to a pregnant woman on bus while other man on the bus pretend not see that pregnant woman sweat and pale stand on the bus door. This man who claimed him self as gay, donate his clothes to a guy who collect garbage from house to house for charity every 6 months. He open door for girl, and help a little girl that fell of her bike to stand up again. He pray for his boyfriend to always safe where ever he go, and He is.. nice.. and he love life.
Beside his preference of being a gay, he just a sweet and kind human. I've seen worse type of man who claimed them self as a man.. but hit their wife, and do worse things.
...how could i had this bad thought about him ?
I respect his decision to be a gay, i respect other decision about their sexual preference... who am i to judge him ? to decide whether he is going to hell or heaven... i am not God.
Its his "private" business with Him (God)at the end of the world.. not other people here in these world.
And i like that guy to be my friend !!
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SMILE !!!
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Posted:Jun 13, 2008 4:13 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2008 7:09 pm 2513 Views
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Peter just text me.. he said he only had one night left to work and then weekend...
Its crazy.. but only short text messages from him made me smile and grin like stupid girl all day !!
sigh.. i guess thats what they call "falling in love"
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