Friends, country men,
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Posted:Aug 14, 2009 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2010 7:56 pm 15382 Views
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It has been a while. I have not wanted to post anything, because of life. I hate when my posts look like sob stories, because it is not how I feel. I am happy, healthy and surviving the hard times relatively quietly.
I shall tell you about events, but please, no comments of sympathy. I am truly and honestly fine.
First event, a dear friend I met here at FF, woke up one monday to find her 22 year old had died during the night. She is still fighting depression and self blame. She died from undiagnosed pancreatitis. I am spending some time with her, and being a friend, and just trying to make her know, without doubt, she is not to blame.
Second, my mother's dementia is getting worse. She is becoming violent. So she can no longer live with her 86 year old mother, my grandma. I have to find a house, move her into it, and find a care provider to move in with us and help me take care of her. Anyone know anyone looking for such a job?
Third is related. Mom's heart again. But two aortirial stints and a pace maker installation, and her doc tells us she will be fine.
Fourth is just the economy. I am working more hours than last year, and taking home about half as much money. But I can not sit home and do nothing, so I work for less. I am barely covering the bills, and have no clue how I am gonna pull off all the things I need to make happen. Oh, and there are no jobs available, anywhere that I can find. Just scarey how many companies I did buisness with the past few years are closing.
Well, that's the bad news. The good news, I have kept up with all of my friends. Life, though not terrific, is not bad.
Be well my friends. Know that I have been looking over your shoulders for months, just not saying much.
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To avoid, or not to avoid.....
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Posted:Feb 19, 2009 6:55 pm
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2010 7:54 pm 14921 Views
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No, I am not avoiding you. I have been running around, working all hours, tryin to get enough money together to go to my aunt's. She is responding well to treatments, but the prognosis is still less then six months.
I would be here more often, but I don't have the energy to concentrate, and my spirit is completely broken. I just can not get past my families health issues.
Be well, my friends. Know that I am dropping in, and looking over your shoulders at your words, when you least expect me.
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Why do you fight?
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Posted:Jan 25, 2009 3:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2009 6:22 pm 14894 Views
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There are only two reasons women fight, for money or love. Why are women always competing for the attentions of men? Is it so important to have a man? Two women, once friends, will call each other an endless list of horrid names, pull out each others hair and scratch out each others eyes, because each is jealous of the attentions the other receives from a man. He is talking to both women, and denying it, but they will believe him over their instincts and eyesight. They want to believe him so strongly, they stop using common sense, logic and reasoning. Such women enable the playas.
There are men finely attuned to reading women’s emotions, how they feel and how to manipulate those feelings. At any sign of weakness, some will take advantage. Beautiful women and celebrities are targeted most often, like naturally beautiful women who have been treated as nothing but objects since childhood, and told that all they are is a beautiful body. They live miserable lives beset by anorexia, bulimia and substance abuse. It is hard to pity them, living in wealth and splendor, but unhappy.
Subject A, we shall call Ann. Ann is a celebrity, working in the “Entertainment Industry”. You have seen her face, even if you don’t know her name. At a recent party, said she wanted a man. An Ordinary Joe. Someone Real and Dependable. How does one respond to this? Brutally honest as I am, I replied, “Honestly Ann. You say you want a regular guy? No you don’t. Every time a regular guy comes up to you, you shun him, or if he’s cute or interesting enough, you turn them into one of your drinking buddies; your Clubbing Crew. You are only interested in beautiful men. Let’s review. Your last serious relationship, the Japanese actor, how did that end? In tears, after months of abuse from that sadist. The one before? What was he again? Oh yes, the model from Spain, and the Ausie actor before that? How many times did you catch them both cheating on you? But You went back to them, time after time. You choose your men by what others will think of you. How many girlfriends do you have? None. Not one. You are in so much competition with other women for work you have no chance to make any. Fear and envy are all you feel for other women. And you let, what any one of the other females in the industry might think of, dictate who your choice of man. Who, if not you, will see to your happiness? Born beautiful, never had to work at anything but staying beautiful. Getting on in years now though. Can’t keep it up forever. What will you do then? Who will you turn to then? Why do you let anyone Ever define you, as beautiful, ugly, successful or a has been?”
We shall call Subject B, Betty. Betty is in her mid twenties, with an overdeveloped body, and works as an exotic dancer. Betty is very beautiful, physically, but has no self esteem at all. She has been a sex object since the age of 12. Her boy friends have been a line of abusive losers, which send her to work in clubs, live off their earnings, but spend their days playing video games, drinking beer and smoking grass. She works, they play. She honestly believes these parasites are the only men that will ever love her. She can not imagine having to think for herself. The idea of getting rid of the parasites and taking care of her self, leaves her trembling in fear.
It is hard to pity them, but they are the glorified examples of women today. Self esteem is at all time lows. More pregnant, school dropouts and earlier sexual activity is on the rise. Conditions like agoraphobia are common around the world. Frequent stories in the news about men taking money from multiple girlfriends, then disappearing. Shelters for abused spouses are filled to capacity. The most heinous crimes like , pedophilia and pornography are daily occurrences around the world. More often, women have changed from being property to being objects or victims.
Women have discovered they don’t have to accept such from men any more. Women are tossing out the trash everyday. Being alone isn’t the pariah to society it used to be. Women are spending more time and money on books and magazines, to learn how to love themselves. Learn to accept the advice friends give you, and not immediately assume they are trying to mislead you about a man. If the whole world thinks a man is not good, chances are he’s not good. If women started working together or trusting each other, the playas would suddenly be alone out in the cold.
Learn to love yourself, and you will attract more and better men. We are all attracted to self assured women. Powerful and independent women are always sought. Tell us you don’t need us, and we will spend our lives trying to prove you do. After all, we are men.
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What are men?
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Posted:Jan 23, 2009 12:16 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2009 6:12 pm 14509 Views
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What are men?
There are basically three male types, the Alpha, the Subordinate, and the non-Alpha/sub. The Alpha is the all powerful pack leader. He is in charge of every aspect of his life. He does not answer to others, and although can fit into the hierarchy of a corporate atmosphere, can not submit to anyone socially. This person is attractive because he fits the “Father Figure” ideal. The subconscious recognizes and is willing to submit to him because traits like wisdom, or strength, or fearlessness are recognized. This has been genetically programmed into society for millennia, since before our ancestors were bipeds.
Women with natural “Mother” personalities will always attract submissive men. Subs lack faith in their personal abilities, and seek out a mother to pamper them, either with whips or caresses. They don’t want responsibilities, or to be empowered. They crave attention and any kind will do. The acceptance of pain or humiliation is a psychological reaction to their disgust at desiring sex with their mothers. Subs want to be punished because they think they are being (and enjoying being) bad little boys. Dominatrixes fill this roll as the mother controlling them, and punishing their misbehavior. The sub that needs to be pampered, and doesn’t want to be punished is seeking acceptance from his mother. He wants to be coddled and looked after. Women who accept these subs perform his menial tasks, cooking and serving his food, cleaning his messes, laundering his clothes, just like his mommy did when he was a little boy.
The non-alpha/sub is most common. He doesn’t want to make decisions or be in charge, but doesn’t want to give up the decision making responsibilities. He can be guided and corralled easily, but not forced to do any one person’s bidding. This is a herd instinct. Be part of the big herd, follow along, and hopefully the wolves won’t catch you. Again, something in our instincts from the beginnings of time, but this something makes our non-A/s the hardest man to deal with. His personal beliefs are weak, but he will hold to them strongly. He can act like an Alpha or Sub socially, and can be seen as either, or neither. This is the man that will tell You to decide then change his mind, once a decision is reached.
A good man is. He is honest, and strong. If he does something that he perceives as wrong, he will publicly accept responsibility, and attempt to make amends. He will not walk by quietly, and ignore injustices, but will speak up. A man is not vain, and will say or do what needs to be said or done knowing he may be disliked for it. A man will do the right thing, every time.
There is no easy definable way to chart types of women. Each woman is an individual blend of emotions, ideals and character traits. Attitude and physical traits most define women to themselves and the world. Physical traits are a cover, a façade, wallpaper on the building that is the body. Attitude is the true source of a woman’s attractiveness. Some of the most beautiful women are personally miserable, scared and feel subhuman. But a woman that knows who and what she is and loves herself will always attract more and better men. Women who are not sure of themselves will attract fewer men; and the less sure they are, the more parasites they attract.
The most beautiful women are often felt to be unobtainable by men, so men don’t bother trying. This rejection causes beautiful women to feel unattractive. Women who believe they are unattractive, no matter their physical beauty, develop lowered self esteem and social skills. This is weakness that is displayed in their attitudes and interpreted sub consciously by men. There are men who seek out this weakness, not because it is attractive, but to exploit it. They are not necessarily Alphas, but anyone who knows how to manipulate the female psyche. These parasites will court weak woman and take from them, never really giving anything in return, causing even more emotional confusion in the afflicted.
Women who know their value and have strong self esteem display attitudes considered positive. These women attract more men of all types; the subs looking for their mothers, the Alphas looking for a partner, and some psychologically ill that want to weaken them and take control or dominate. These women know what they want, and are willing to work for it. In between these two extremes are many levels of self esteem, attitude and personal identity. The weakest and most submissive women are almost constantly preyed upon. The strongest are most sought after, but good use of instincts prevent most parasites from tricking them.
So when choosing a man, a woman must first, look at herself. What kind of personality am I? What attitude am I projecting? Am I listening to my instincts? A good man is not hard to find. The perfect man for you may be nearby, seen almost daily, but never noticed. Open your eyes and look with your mind, your heart, and your gut. If you look at men through the rose glasses of vanity, you will only be attracted to one type of man. If you can forget momentarily, preconceived notions of the “Perfect Man”, and look at the men around you, good men will become abundant.
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Your Paths will Cross
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Posted:Jan 21, 2009 11:23 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2009 7:55 am 13699 Views
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A note from a friend here made me wonder. There was a bit of FF dwama last year, and I believe all parties have moved on. I realized how much such events effect some people. I keep forgetting not everyone is as strong and grounded emotionally as I am.
To the primaries involved, I would like to say the following.
I have never held hard feelings for anyone here. I try to be as honest as I can, because I hate liars. I still don't know what caused the falling out, nor do I care to. I offer these three things.
1) The past is past. If you knew how little and seldom others thought of you, you would not think of past arguments at all.
2) It maybe hard for some, but forgive each other, and accept each other's forgiveness. Then forget all about the past. All the pains will be forgoten with it.
3) The only happiness that comes to ourlives, is felt from within. Find your center, your personal joy, and accept happiness. Only you can make yourselves happy.
You are all wonderful people, and everyone else here likes you. Be well my friends. And please find peace.
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Blessings be up us all
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Posted:Jan 21, 2009 11:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 25, 2009 8:40 pm 13785 Views
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I am proud to announce I am an Uncle, again.
One of my brothers has been blessed with a boy. He is very premature, and only 3 lbs, 6 inches. But we have been assured he is very healthy, and recieving the best care, and will be fine.
Just wanted to share some good news. I got another nephew to spoil. LOL
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A song about Love
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Posted:Jan 20, 2009 2:24 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2009 11:07 am 13754 Views
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Love me Dead by Ludo
Love me cancerously
Like a salt sour soaked in the sea
“High maintenance” means
You’re a gluttonous queen
Narcissistic and mean
Kill me romantically
Fill my soul with vomit
Then ask me for a piece of gum
Bitter and dumb
You’re my sugar plum
You’re awful
I love you
(chorus)
She moves through
Moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin
I know she drains me slowy
She wears me down to bones in bed
Must be the sign on my head
That says Ohhhhhh
Love me dead
Love me dead
You’re a faith healer on TV
You’re an office park without any trees
Corporate and cold
Gushing for gold
Leave me alone
You suck so passionately
You’re a parasitic psycho
Filthy creature bangin my heart strings
You call me up drunk
Does the fun ever start?
You’re hideous and sexy
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Stormmistress
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Posted:Jan 16, 2009 12:17 pm
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2009 9:33 am 13564 Views
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I am sure you blocked your blog because of my comments. I meant no insult. I was just pointing out a different point of view.
And that is as close to an appology as you will get.
Have a nice life. Be well.
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Life is
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Posted:Jan 15, 2009 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2009 11:00 am 13794 Views
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Thank you for your kind words. I will be fine. You are all wonderful. Thank you.
I see your posts, and knowing that so many of you are having good years makes it easy to move on.
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Losing the battle
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Posted:Jan 7, 2009 8:27 pm
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2009 12:55 pm 14855 Views
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I thought I was depressed before the holidays. I thought I just felt down because I had no one to share all the little moments with anymore. After talking to my , I realized all I have missed in her life. And all I missed with my ’s brief life. What kind of family would I have had? What kind of father would I have been? Would the holidays be a joyous occasion for me?
Just before Christmas, I had a dream. Someone that I was friends with last year, and was battling breast cancer, had a relapse. She and I are not in contact anymore. We had a falling out. I still care about her, but no way to check on her. And she has fallen off the face of the earth. No recent posts in any of her usual places, and no response to my emails. I have been worried about her for weeks, but no way of knowing what is going on.
Then I had what was probably the worst day of my life. January 1, 2009. I got a call from my aunt’s . I spent a couple of months with her last year, when she got a kidney transplant. She believes she would have been dead by February without it. She believes today, that she was given an extra year of life, and spent it with her and granddaughter. But now she has been diagnosed with lung and throat cancer, aggressive. She believes she only has a few months left.
She is a wonderful, giving person. I was lucky to be raised by several strong, independent, powerful women. She, like her mother, is one of the most loved, revered people I knew. Grandma was so loved, her funeral was the largest St Landry Parish, LA has seen. Hundreds showed up and shared the celebration of her life. My aunt lost her to leukemia when he was ten, and adopted all of her nieces and nephews. She has given the world nothing but love. We all volunteered to give her a kidney when she needed one. I would give her my lungs now, if I could.
I am moving to my aunt’s house, and enjoy the time she has left. If the time comes, I will be there with her, making her last days as good as I can. But I will try to help her fight it, and if God allows, beat it. Hope against hope, but I can not imagine not hoping for her. I will not be online nearly as much, and I will miss you all. I hope you know I am not staying away willingly. I will be here when I can.
Be well my friends. I’ll see you again soon.
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