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roo shooting ! 1/9/2006
two men went roo shooting ! while theywere out & about
, one of the men collapsed !! the other man was frantic !!
he rung 000 & was absolutely hysterical ! the operator
told him to calm down !! he said to her that he thought his
mate was dead ! the operator said to him the 1st thing they
had to do was to makke sure that he was dead !! the phone went
silent , there was a bang in the ...
0 Comments, 134 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
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Women 12/29/2005
Two elderly women were sitting on a bench silently looking
at the ocean. Finally one turn to the other and asks, "Have you ever had an orgasm?"
The other was silent for a while, obviously thinking.
Finally she said, "No, I think we had Mutual
of Omaha."...
0 Comments, 330 Views,
10 Votes
,2.39 Score
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In Training 12/18/2005
An Indian walks into a bar with a shotgun in one hand and a
bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the bartender,
"Me want beer."
<br>
The bartender says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall draught beer and the Indian drinks
it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure
into the air and blasts it with the shotgun, then he walks ...
1 Comments, 294 Views,
13 Votes
,3.31 Score
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At the Bar 12/18/2005
Two guys sitting in a bar one afternoon pouting over their
wives' getting after them.
<br>
First guy says, "I'm gonna start calling my wife
Encyclepedia Brittanica."
<br>
Second guy asks, "Why is that?"
<br>
First guy answers, "The bitch knows everything!"
1 Comments, 291 Views,
11 Votes
,3.35 Score
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Sick Day 12/18/2005
Hung Chow calls his boss and says, "Hey, Boss, I not
come work today. I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."
<br>
The boss says, "You know, Hung Chow, I really need
you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her
to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work.
You should try that."
<br>
Two ...
0 Comments, 305 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
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A Priority 12/18/2005
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf and
one remarked how for Christmas this year he'd love
to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without
an arguement, go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies
and play a round.
<br>
His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do
it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet
here early Christmas ...
0 Comments, 850 Views,
75 Votes
,5.28 Score
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Coping With Advanced Senility 12/18/2005
PRAYER
<br>
Dear Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people I never
liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that
I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
<br>
As I've grown older, but refused to grow up...
<br>
I've discovered:
<br>
ONE - I started out with nothing,
and still have most of it.
<br>
TWO - My wild oats ...
1 Comments, 262 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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Cruising 12/18/2005
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in
the wind.
<br>
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me,
madam, I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that
your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
<br>
"Yes, I know, " said the lady, "I need
both hands to hold onto this hat."
...
1 Comments, 274 Views,
15 Votes
,4.97 Score
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Do You Ever...? 12/18/2005
Two elder ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
<br>
One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
<br>
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
<br>
The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"
<br>
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
<br>
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who
drives you to the ...
1 Comments, 287 Views,
13 Votes
,4.32 Score
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2 compliments and..... 12/17/2005
Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to
compliment the men with something that was on the table.
<br>
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the
first gal.
<br>
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the
second.
<br>
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the
third.
0 Comments, 257 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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30 minute Org 12/16/2005
Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
<br>
In my next life, I want to be a pig!!
0 Comments, 256 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
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Both of them 12/15/2005
A man stops to visit his mate who has a broken leg. His friend
says, "My feet are so cold. Can you go and get me my slippers
from upstairs please."
<br>
The guy goes upstairs, and there are his friend's
gorgeous twin 18 year old daughters. "Hi, girls!
Your dad sent me up here to have wild sex with you."
<br>
The first says, "That's not true."
He says, "I'll ...
0 Comments, 275 Views,
18 Votes
,6.40 Score
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No condoms 12/12/2005
A man bought some eggs and on getting home discovered they
had no yolks so he went back to the poultry so the farmer decided
to check what was wrong and on getting there saw that the
cocks were wearing condoms.
0 Comments, 313 Views,
11 Votes
,0.74 Score
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assigment 12/12/2005
a class teacher once told the students to draw a railway.the
next day she was checking she got to a boy named kelvin and
saw his drawing she asked
kelvin wee is ur drawing he brought it out she looked at it
and was suprised so she then said
''the railway line'' is here so were
is ur train
he replied ''u came late so the train left''
0 Comments, 288 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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shame 12/11/2005
a senior in schol was beating a junior so a teacher saw him
and what was wrong the f.f conversation ensured
teacher;why were u beating him
senior;becos he ruded
teacher;correct ursef
senior;he rudely
teacher;what
senior;he rudely ruded
teacher;infact get down on ur knees and say ur last prayer
...
0 Comments, 286 Views,
9 Votes
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ur and my 12/11/2005
a divorcee with five married another divorcee
with five and then they gave birth to five .One
day the couple were watching tv in the parlour and they heard
a noise the wife went to check and when she came back her husband
asked her what the problem was she answered ur
and my are beating our
0 Comments, 316 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Who Do You Want To Be? 12/7/2005
Three nuns riding in their jalopy truck suddenly get into
a horrible accident and died.
<br>
At the pearly gates, St. Peter asks them, "Sisters,
because you've been such faithful followers, I'll
give you a second chance at life." The sisters were
so excited over this.
<br>
St. Peter continued, "I'll let you be whoever
you want to be but only for an hour."
<br>
...
1 Comments, 351 Views,
16 Votes
,3.57 Score
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Use the Camel 12/7/2005
An Italian guy was drafted into the French Foreign Legion
of course against his will.
<br>
So the first day, he went up to the Sargent and said, "You
know, I don't think I'll survive here."
<br>
The Sargent asked, "Why is that?"
<br>
"Well", the Italian answered, "I have
a pretty high sex drive and there's no women here."
<br>
To this the Sargent said, "No ...
0 Comments, 323 Views,
22 Votes
,6.13 Score
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DEAR MY GOD... 12/7/2005
DEAR GOD... THANKS TO MAKING ME HEALTHY.CAN YOU MAKE ME
SEXY TOO??IF YOU CAN , PLS MAKE MY ALL GIRL FRIENDS FAT, AMEN...
JUST JOKING ANYWAY!
0 Comments, 315 Views,
14 Votes
,0.10 Score
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Musicals 12/4/2005
I was talking to my friend the other day and I said, "I
miss the old musicals on tv."
<br>
"They took 'em off for a reason", he said.
<br>
"Why's that?" I asked.
<br>
"Too much saz and violins", he replied.
1 Comments, 399 Views,
11 Votes
,0.18 Score
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:) 12/3/2005
have a greater need for speed than classroom computers
can deliver. Impatient to turn in his term paper, one restless
student kept clicking the "Print" command.
The printer started to churn out copy after copy of the 's
ten-page report. The topic? "Save Our Trees."
0 Comments, 263 Views,
13 Votes
,2.47 Score
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The thief and the old couple 11/28/2005
Once there was a thief, but he was a good thief. He didnt want
to kill people, just to take the valuable stuff and go away.....
So, he decided to steal an old man and his wife. It was very
easy, besides the old couple was sleeping very deeply during
the night and the thief knew that....
So, thats what his doing... he is stealing every valuable
thing from the house.... jewellery, money ...
0 Comments, 230 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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The russian and the american 11/28/2005
Once there was an american in a typical american bar and
he says to the barman:
"Give me a glass of whiskey...."
In the same time he says that a russian comes in the bar and
he sasys to the barman:
"Give me a glass of vodka...."
the american understood that he the man was russian so he
says.... :
"Are you ready for a competition?"
"Sure" says the russian.....
So the american ...
0 Comments, 258 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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predicament 11/27/2005
What does Iraq and Turkey have in common?
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
They both have Kurds in their way.
(Sounds better when you say it).
0 Comments, 219 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Man's Best Friend 11/26/2005
A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle
turned to the collie and complained, "My life is a
mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair
with a German shepherd, and I'm nervous as a cat."
"Why don't you go see a psychiatrist?"
asked the collie.
"I can't, " replied the poodle. "I'm
not allowed on the couch."
0 Comments, 235 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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Panda 11/26/2005
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.
He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the
panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey!
Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't
pay for the food."
The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda.
Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing
mammal of Asian ...
0 Comments, 263 Views,
19 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Doctor, doctor... 11/26/2005
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at
the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St.
Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds
of ." St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped
thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter
tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless
families ...
2 Comments, 450 Views,
25 Votes
,5.23 Score
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Hockey 11/26/2005
Jim: Did you hear about the hockey game to benefit leprosy?
<br>
Steve: Yeah, I heard it was cancelled.
<br>
Jim: Yeah, they had a face off in the corner.
0 Comments, 173 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Christmas 11/25/2005
Billy: I hear Santa will only have 7 reindeer this year.
<br>
Bobby: Why is that?
<br>
Billy: Comet has to stay home and clean the kitchen sink.
0 Comments, 216 Views,
4 Votes
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A case of mistaken identity 11/25/2005
A Jewish man walks into a bar and has a few drinks. He sees
a Chinese man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!"
the Chinese man says. "What was that for?" "That
was for Pearl Harbor, " says the Jewish man. "But
I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's
the difference?" the Jewish man says. The Jewish
man sits back down. Later, the Chinese man walks up to the
Jewish man and punches him in the ...
0 Comments, 134 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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