THE KING WITH 4 WIVES
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Posted:Feb 10, 2008 9:19 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2008 3:35 pm 5405 Views
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11-01-2003, 02:41 AM
The King With Four Wives
Once upon a time....there was a rich king who had four wives. He loved the fourth wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the third wife very much and showed her off to neighbouring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved the second wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times.
The King's first wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the King fell ill and he knew that his time was short.
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I am going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated.
Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go."
The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, because she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken better care of you when I had the chance!"
In Truth, we all have four wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look great, it'll leave us when we die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die it will all go to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
Our 1st wife is our Soul, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. So cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now! It is your greatest gift to offer the world.
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Why Women Cry
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Posted:Feb 10, 2008 9:14 pm
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2008 10:01 pm 5027 Views
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Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered......
"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own .
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
I gave her the sensitivity to love her under any and all
circumstances. Even when her has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a 's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a 's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly....
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and !
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
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: Why God Made Eve
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Posted:Feb 9, 2008 5:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2008 10:00 pm 4902 Views
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10. God was worried that Adam would frequently
become lost in the garden because he would
not ask for directions
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9. God knew that one day Adam would require
someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy
himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would
therefore need Eve to buy one for him
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a
doctor's dentist's or haircut appointment by himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night
to put the garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men
would never be able to handle the pain and
discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never
remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his
troubles on when God caught him hiding in the
garden.
2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be
alone."
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He
stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can
do better than that!"
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THE BRICK
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Posted:Feb 8, 2008 4:15 pm
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2008 10:42 pm 4639 Views
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A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar.
He was watching for darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.
The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest and pushed him up against a parked car shouting,
"What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic.
"Please, mister...please,
I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,"
He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.
"It's my brother," he said.
"He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive,
"Would you please help me get him back into his
wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat.
He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts.
A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar.
The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message --
"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
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Bubba Died in a Fire
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Posted:Feb 6, 2008 9:24 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2008 3:37 pm 4457 Views
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Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the
body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
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Choking
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Posted:Feb 5, 2008 8:46 pm
Last Updated:Feb 20, 2008 3:37 pm 4515 Views
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One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, ‘‘my 's choking! He
swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!''
A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced
at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all,
wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads and squeezed. Out popped the quarter.
The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.
''Thank you! Thank you!'' the father cried. ''Are you a paramedic?''
''No,'' replied the man, ''I work for the IRS."
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Great Advice
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Posted:Feb 1, 2008 6:39 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2008 2:48 pm 4302 Views
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Follow this advice and you can improve your life!
Always remember that you are loved,
even when it doesn't seem like it.
Believe in yourself and your values,
don't sell out when things go wrong.
Don't let anything get you down, always bounce back up!
Set goals for your future
and never settle for anything less.
Realize that there are others in the world
with much bigger problems than you.
Appreciate the good things in your life,
and be thankful for the time you have
and for your loved ones.
Spend more time with your family and friends.
Appreciate the simple things in life,
and don't get caught up in material things.
So the next time you're looking at a situation ask yourself:
Is the glass half empty?
Or is the glass half full?
Be an optimist and see the glass as being half full!
Before long, your attitude will rub off on others
And you can make the world a better place
by simply making yourself a happier person.
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Hand Wash and Hang Dry
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Posted:Jan 31, 2008 8:29 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2008 5:13 pm 4130 Views
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Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
The medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act and he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell her the news, he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
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Triple Filter Test
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Posted:Jan 31, 2008 8:24 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2008 5:14 pm 3923 Views
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One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance. The acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the 'Triple Filter Test'." "Triple filter?" "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to say to me is true?" "No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..." "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?" "No, on the contrary..." "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test, though, because there is a third filter -- the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?" "No, not really..." "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?" The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife.
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Oreo Test
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Posted:Jan 28, 2008 1:34 pm
Last Updated:Feb 18, 2008 5:14 pm 4289 Views
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Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:
1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverish nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee, tea...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. Like to lick them, not eat them.
10. No preferred way because you don't like Oreos.
Your Personality:
1. The whole thing - this means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their .
2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's OK, not to worry, you're normal.
3. Slow and Methodical. You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being uptight and rather irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.
4. Feverish Nibbles. Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental break downs run in your family. Drugs such as Valium and Ritalin would do you good.
5. Dunked. Every one likes you because you are always upbeat. You like to sugar-coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call your life. You have a propensity towards addiction.
6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie. You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal,behavior.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie. You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's OK, you don't care, you got yours.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside. You enjoy pain.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them. Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help, immediately.
10. You don't have a favorite way, you don't like Oreo cookies. You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.
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