To Heck with Facebook, where is Brainbook???
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Posted:Jan 20, 2011 6:45 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2011 10:15 am 10822 Views
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Ye gawds.
I posted something on FB yesterday that was not superficial, didn't contain anything salacious or inflammatory about anyone, and had no pics of someone drunk and partially undressed or doing anything at work that they shouldn't have been doing.
You would have thought I farted in a closed elevator.
Because I like to think about stuff rather than spew it, the people that feel obligated to 'friend' me (family) think I am morose, melancholy, suicidal and antisocial.
I asked the difference betwen a blog and a journal - is a blog more personal thoughts and a journal more public info. I asked if you read something about yourself in someone's blog and it wasn't nice, how would you react.
Good grief. I got so much feedback about how I am too sensitive and take everything people say too serious and a ton of comments about how I need to grow up. Cripes, it was a rhetorical question. KInd of makes me wonder if they have blogs and have written somethng not so nice about me! LOLOL!
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But the good news!!!!
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Posted:Jan 19, 2011 7:57 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2011 6:40 am 11402 Views
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I have been unemployed since May. Gotta love it. Or at least gotta love being away from THAT place! We are actually better off financially as well but be damned if I can figure out how that happened. I'm doing what I do best, I think. Managing the house a bit better and not throwing away groceries because I was too drained to cook, and spending money for take out. Got every stinking credit debt we had paid off except the car. Cancelled cable television and have local channels only (for free!!!) Keeping up with laundry and dishes. The dogs don't bark as much.
I've become kind of a one person neighborhood watch. For the first month I was home I noticed there is a group of people that walk around this neighborhood with plastic bags opening mailboxes. I tattled to the neighbors and the police and within another month foot traffic around here is down to pretty much nothing during the day.
I baked cookies and took them to some of the neighbors. Found out there is one other stay at home mom down the street and she's pretty nice. There's a guy down the other side of the street with a Dachsund that has his ass end in a wheelie-sling from a common dachsund back injury, which is good to know because I also have a dachsund so if she breaks I know where to get a wheelie sling.
Hubby went home to Maine for a few days for his parent's 50th anniversary. Came back with a different view of his homestate and now understands why I still LONG for it.
California still sucks.
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To be a Parent means you might be a Punching Bag
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Posted:Jan 19, 2011 7:36 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 6:40 am 10050 Views
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But it also means you will understand after the blows quit hurting so bad. You will swallow it all and move on. Find a way to make believe you are responsible for your 's insensitivity or label yourself hypersensitive so that you don't have to tell yourself you raised a selfish, selfcentered, selfrighteous, angry person. She is hurting too.
When there is no one to point a finger at, you point a finger at someone who is going to forgive. "You always hurt the ones you love." I'm willing to take the hit for being the genetic carrier for what has afflicted my grandson, but being told I am at fault for the whole broken chain is another thing - I didn't give it to my grandfather, uncle, or brother. My and grandson - I'll bear that. And the only thing that saved me from this whole fiasco is that I am female. Again, not my fault.
But I love that Girl. She's just being a parent.
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Giraffes don't live in Alaska
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Posted:Jan 19, 2011 7:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2011 8:57 pm 10441 Views
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And penguins dont live in the Mojave Desert. There is a place for everyone and everything and the world just works better when we adhere to God's plan. Just because you CAN live in a certain environment doesn't mean you should, or that you would be happy/healthy there.
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Is it a genetic defect or a genetic blessing?
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Posted:Aug 27, 2010 9:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2011 7:03 am 11015 Views
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Just gotta love the little man.
Very very difficult. He got such a rough start in life and the things that should have been redflags in the beginning were chalked up to being in NICU for so long after his birth.
I carried so much guilt in the beginning for thinking something was wrong. What kind of grandmother thinks her own grandchild is anything other than perfect, and perfectly beautiful???? Just waited for the day he would 'catch up to himself' as the doctors said, all the while thinking inside that he never would.
Then came the day that my bore her heart and said to me that she thought there was something wrong and cried because 'what mother says that kind of thing?'
A good mother does. A good mother, even a first time mother, just knows. And it's a horrible journey through doctors that just want to pat her on the head and tell her she is just nervous and that she will be a more relaxed mother next time around. So time passes before people who see him for 15 minutes every other month notice that he's just not progressing. Now he's a year old and a doctor finally said out loud something is not right.
Anguishing time passes as test results come in and indeed there are significant genetic defects. But no one knows what it means, so know one knows where this will go. Is it better to have a perfect on the outside with a timebomb ticking inside, or a with obvious signs of difficulty and wonder everyday if he will wake up one more time?
Shouldn't we all worry about that no matter how perfect our ? Shouldn't we all take nothing for granted?
He has been a gift and a daily reminder of how precious a life is.
We are all looking forward to the day he gets muddy and dirty and makes a mess. It will mean progress.
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My family does not know I have a blog. Tee hee.
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Posted:Aug 24, 2010 8:32 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2011 7:01 am 10418 Views
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So I like that I have this and they do not know about it. I can say what I damn well feel and think and I don't have to hear about it from my family and friends on FBook.
Status for today: annoyed.
Annoyed, and relieved. And I sooooooo want to thumb my nose at everyone. So for all my griping about how I hate California and that I feel like this heat is going to kill me, I found out that is pretty much accurate. I have a thyroid problem that makes me heat intolerant. Maybe that can be fixed. I always feel like I've had my butt kicked after doing minimal house chores. I am now being treated for fibromyalgia and after only one week I can already feel a difference and I don't feel so old. Had my gall bladder out after finding out it was operating at less than 11% and that is what was always causing my stomach and intestinal disturbances. That and the fact that I was on a dose of meds for diabetes that was three times what I should have been taking. Gosh it's nice to have a doctor that is paying attention and not just throwing antidepressants at me and increasing my doses of other meds.
I feel good. Without 'mood stabilizers'. I still hate living in California though, just to be clear.
To my dear, understanding, compassionate, and loving family: BITE ME. I DO NOT NEED A PSYCHIATRIST AND AM NOT JUST A FLAMING B****. It's been so touching that you are all glad I am doing better, but I am tired of now having you guys gripe at me that I should have found out sooner so that YOU didn't have to go through this.
I didn't do a very good job with my . I see that now.
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The sun WILL shine again.
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Posted:Aug 23, 2010 5:19 pm
Last Updated:May 9, 2024 6:40 am 9262 Views
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Job shifts, grandbabies, more grandbabies and one with birth issues he will never get over, surgery, disability, definitive diagnosis. . . .
One positive about all this is that while off for surgery the disability paperwork got processed wrong and for the last three months I have not received any pay, so we have been able to see that even though it isn't easy, we can make it with some changes to lifestyle and I will not be going back to the hellhole that started me in this decline of health. We have cut off cable, I am learning to live in 103 degrees with only a fan after our first elect bill was 450.00 using the AC for two hours a day. So NO ac at all. None.
But the best thing about this is that I have been able to spend time with my grandson that I wouldn't have if I had been chained to the store. My is expecting again and they are all undergoing genetic testing to see if the abnormalities revealed in the first little boy are likely to show up again. It's so hard for his parents because the missing pieces of genetic material have never been recorded before so the doctors were unable to label this syndrome or give them any indication of what the future might hold.
But he is so stinking precious. I wouldn't miss this for all the world. That's him in the pic there. That's our Winnle Man!!! Don't really know where the name came from.
So I have been reading my older posts. Geez I really have been negative. But I have also found out why and am now being treated for a disease I never believed in until I was treated for it. And don't I feel like the sun has risen again? FIBROMYALGIA. If anyone has any personal experience with it please talk to me.
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Heaven spilling all over
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Posted:Oct 4, 2008 5:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2009 2:05 pm 9914 Views
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My woke me up with strange noises at 5:13 am. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her but she ran to the door so I'm thinking she's gotta potty. Throw on a robe, grab a leash, open the door and it's
RAINING.
Oh dear God it's raining and cool out.
Dark as can be so the lights around the complex are reflecting on the sidewalks and I went walking barefoot through the grass. It sounds like a waterfall and I hear the water gushing into the drain in the parking lot.
After six months straight of 90 degrees or above pretty much around the clock this is HEAVEN.
Then I thought to myself...
We still have thousands of troops overseas and in the middle east who are still dealing with 100 and over around the clock and no chance of rain.
Pray for them - whatever your political affiliation - just pray for our troops. Pray that each and every one will some day come home and spend a day in the rain
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Yeah yeah yeah, okay
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Posted:Sep 30, 2008 6:18 am
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2009 2:05 pm 9867 Views
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SO I am still working at the same place doing the same things, only I've come to the realization I need to take advantage of a full time position for now.
Oh how I want out though.
It's been just about a month since I've even logged in here and I spent a good amount of time just trying to get logged in. My brain is fried.
My boss has a very sadistic streak. First of all I was plopped in to the position with NO training and I have been working diligently to train myself. It goes slow but I believe I am doing everything that I DO do correctly. Then out of the blue he calls me and asks me if I have made a $15,000 error. HUH? Tells me I need to go back over the last week and double check all my work and find out what I did. Now mind you it was only in retrospect that I realized he didn't say 'what did you do wrong'. Only 'what did you do?'. But I set to work pulling all 790 transactions for the week and scrutinizing them and I found one transaction that was over $11,000 itself. I ran to his office with the information to explain that this had occured but that it was legitimate since it was a buyback from a vendor that was removing all the stock from the store. Boss smiled and said, "I knew that. This was a test and exercise for you to see if you could find what you were looking for."
Asshole.
Then he proceeds to show me that HE has a report HE can run anytime he wants that shows my work, but I don't have access to it. Well, I didn't till that moment. He assumes that since he is a numbers guy and lives on reports alone that everyone else does as well. I barely have time to process my daily stuff, much less review every keystroke I made over the past month. Then you gotta know there were comments about why I didn't seem to get everything done yesterday. Ok.
Then last night I woke up in a sweat and remembered that I left a bathtub sitting in an aisle in the warehouse bay. I gotta go in early and make sure I get it moved to the bull pen first thing.
I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't get through a weekend without barfing by Sunday afternoon because I know I have to go to work Monday morning.
I feel very old.
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I don't want to do this, but......
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Posted:Aug 27, 2008 6:39 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2011 7:39 am 10384 Views
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As of this moment my plan is to go in and give my 3-week notice at some point today. I figure they can find someone with experience at this position in that amount of time and I PRAY no one wants to ask me specific questions about why I want to leave. Just take my letter of resignation and wish me well. That would be nice.
I have too many bosses and just can't win at anything, and am so busy trying to please all the bosses that I'm not really accomplishing anything. Just barely side-stepping the cow patties to really get anything done.
I really needed Hubby last night when I got home from work, but he seemed to have other plans. Like going grocery shopping, balancing the checkbook, working on the computer and checking his email. Ok.
I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him to come sit with me like we always do but he never did. When I got up to go to bed a couple hours later I just couldn't go back sleep so I got up sometime around midnight. He did finally come stand with me in the dark while I poured out my heart regarding this job and he encouraged me to quit. I'm scared.
There is one thing at which I am a natural, I'm good, and I find satisfaction in it. I want to do it but it will require time and money, neither of which do I think we can really spare at this moment.
Moving to California had nothing to do with me, but I like to think I'm entitled to find a little happiness where I find myself right now even if it costs us a little in the short run. God knows this move cost us HELLA lot in the long term. We will be paying off the moving debts for a good time to come.
I got a notice in the mail that the IRS has two, not one, but TWO registered letters for me.
This is not a good sign.
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