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| Blogs > Mrs_CIGAR > Happy NAILS to you!!! |
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Breathing space......... I'd like to say I've been too busy working to blog, but that would not be correct. However, I have an offer on the table with a great opportunity pending a background check. Just praying that the usual financial disasters that arise from a surprise divorce and restarting of life don't hold me back. I hope that if anything too negative turns up they will talk to me about it and not just send a 'No Thank You' letter. I have no idea how this works. The job offer was a surprise. I went to it hoping for a scrap, like part time customer service, and ended up with an offer for full time, benefited, M-F job. Woooooo Hooooooo! Oh, and I can speak english. They kind of encourage it. Not that I don't plan to learn spanish anyway cause it would be nice to go into McDonalds and be able to read the menu and not just look at the pictures. Gads, this must be what it's like for people who can't read at all. Just point to a picture and hold up the fingers to indicate the number of what ever you want. On the Mother and Whacked Brother front - it's gotten sad. Good Brother has had to file restraining orders against them both. Whacked Brother is being fired from his job because he used the company phone to call death threats to Good Brother, but at least now someone believes that Whacked Brother is truly whacked and is helping. The Mother is frantically trying to get through to me via some of her family members. So far they have been very protective and supportive of Good Brother and I. They've had their issues with her as well. I suppose I shouldn't be resting on my butt while this background check is in progress, but boy howdy haw I have needed a break. FUnny little side note here: Back before the job at the Pump Company I had received a call from a nice lady and we did a fun phone interview but she didn't call me back the next day like she said she would, or the next, or the next and I took ta job through a temp agency that ended in disaster because I was good! Go figure. The nice lady called after I had agreed to the temp agency job and I had to say no thank you. Then the day I foundout the Pump Company job tanked because of failed negotiations with the temp agency I called Nice Lady but the job had been filled. So I was eyeball deep back in job hunting again. Went to this interview that resulted in the pending job offer. Guess who called 3 days ago? Oh yeah. Nice Lady. So while I informed her that I am waiting on something to come from this other offer she said she really wanted me to come in anyway. I spent about two hours there yesterday and can see where that would be a fabulous place to work. Everyone was so nice and we all hit it off very well. On my way out I told her that I would let her know something one way or another as soon as I found out. She held my hand and said she hoped I would because I had been her first choice all along and she was sure I would be the right person for their office if it works out that way. I have been lazy. I haven't logged on to one single internet job site in over a week. Those are depressing. I finally started thinking to myself after reading a couple of things in an email update I got from one of them. It says: Get your resume seen by 90% more employers by having our team of writers create your resume. What that tells me is that unless I pay 89 bucks and have them write the same things I wrote, my resume doesn't get seen by anyone BUT the get rich quick work at home make thousands in a week scammers. Why didn't I read that before I started believing that I was absolutely unhireable????? Before I went into the downward spiral of failure and depression???? I talked with my Aunt about God. I said that quite possibly I have been in this holding pattern til I took action about the Mother situation. That I was never going to think of myself or put myself first until it got this bad. I went to seek some counseling to help find tools or a way to deal with all this. Yeah I admit to being angry about moving here, but I am just as culpable for my situation because I think that if I had resisted for my sake instead of going along for Hubby's sake, this would not have happened. But I thought his happiness mattered more than my health and here I've put him into a guilt phase because bottom line is I just did not stand up for myself. I knew all that before I went to counselling so what I was looking for was some clear vision on how to work my way out of this funk and not blame everyone else around me. I told of my financial and job woes and how I feel like a parasite because I am not contributing to the household, feel guilty if I leave the house because I should be job hunting or might not be home when a call comes, but having the walls close in when I am here and nothing comes in. What this clown said to me was just not helpful. He said, Well file for bankruptcy. It's not frowned on the way it used to be. And stop paying your rent. It will take a couple of months to be evicted and by then you may have a job so you can start paying rent and possibly never have to make up for the couple of months you didn't pay. He said of all the parts of California I was in the complete armpit and what on earth made me think I could move to California and find work was beyond him. I said, 'No, my husband had a job lined up before we moved. We did not come out on a whim.' But I don't think he heard that the second or third time I told him. He raised his voice and said he's tired of all the people who think California is a gold mine and that people like me should do a little research before we come out here looking for a handout. So I said, "Maybe I didn't make it clear, or maybe I'm a little disjointed because this is our first visit, but I know about California, I am from here and have lived here several times. I wasn't in favor of this move but didn't stand my ground and now I'm looking to find a way to make peace with where I am and get in a better frame of mind so that I can be a better prospect for finding a job." He still says "Well you won't find work here. The bald truth is there are too many workers that are happy with minimum wage and white people have to have a PROFESSION to get anything of quality." I said I knew that but in my current financial situation I could not afford to pay for any schooling and don't qualify for tuition assistance because I am still paying on my last student loan. He just shook his head and said what do you want from me? I think you have anger issues, and could benefit from some antidepressants. There are free clinics that can give you samples. I don't write prescriptions if that is what you are looking for. I just sat for a few minutes not saying anything. Nothing. Nada. So he says, Have I offended you? Because I feel like I offended you. Do you feel like you want to come back? I said no. That I was going to find the money somewhere to buy a set of Big Girl Panties and a pair of boots with some stronger straps to pull myself up with. That skipping on my bills and rent was not an option to ME. That's just not what I was looking for or raised to do. He said I my identity was too wrapped up in WHAT I do and not WHO I am. HUH? I'd rather work a crap job and pay bills than sit in my car and be proud to be breathing and bumming off relatives. That's just me. But I thanked him for his time and came home FUMING!!! This is what is wrong out here. There are too many options to fail and very few to succeed and it's accepted as a normal part of life. However, since the day I closed the door on The Mother, I have focused on Hubby and I. And just like magic, things have started falling into place. We did get a filed copy of our marriage certificate, got our insurance straightened out, got my car squared away after a million phone calls to the state of Maine and I have Cali plates on my car with a current registration! YAY! I believe I have two opportunites for a job, and spend more time talking to God than anyone else now. I haven't coughed in a week. It felt good to have those job interviews. ALthough the first one told me that according to the survey I filled out I would not be good with people, I know that is wrong. It's a survey, for crying out loud. But that according to this survey I appear to be the kind of person who would be good at getting the right thing done the right way and not accept anything less. THe second interview with Nice Lady and her Boss left me feeling very well. Boss looked over my resume and application and then looked at me for a moment. I said, My resume does not reflect what I CAN do, only what I HAVE done. And yes there is a large gap in employment. But believe me, during those years I was not doing nothing. I would have welcomed 'outside employment' because then I could have walked away at the end of the day and patted myself on the back for a job well done. Instead I opted to support my family and husband's career which was a 24 hour a day job with no overtime, holidays, or vacations. But I was too busy working to also 'work'. He smiled at me and said, I know what you mean. You seem like a pleasant enough person and I am very glad you came in. Keep us informed of your other offer and maybe this will work out. Now THAT is the me that no one sees on a piece of paper. |
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I said, My resume does not reflect what I CAN do, only what I HAVE done. And yes there is a large gap in employment. But believe me, during those years I was not doing nothing. Well said. Cheers! 
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