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New Maid 9/20/2007
A guy dials his home number from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid, " answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with
someone who I just figured was her ...
5 Comments, 501 Views,
46 Votes
,4.88 Score |
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Black Eye 8/12/2007
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
<br>
Nothing, you already told her twice.
1 Comments, 259 Views,
41 Votes
,0.10 Score |
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Light Bulb 8/12/2007
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<br>
Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about the screwing part.
1 Comments, 180 Views,
40 Votes
,5.87 Score |
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Snoring 8/12/2007
Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
mating?
<br>
- To stop the snoring before it starts.
1 Comments, 264 Views,
30 Votes
,6.57 Score |
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Dishes 8/12/2007
How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<br>
None, she can do the dishes in the dark.
1 Comments, 226 Views,
25 Votes
,3.46 Score |
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Time 8/12/2007
What do you do when a woman asks you the time?
<br>
Tell her there is a clock on the stove.
1 Comments, 191 Views,
24 Votes
,1.08 Score |
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Sorry I'm Late 8/12/2007
This is a true story and when I heard it, I LMAO!!! Please
keep in mind that both people in this are very nice mild people.
<br>
My Aunt (I'll call her Aunt Bea) was late joining her
husband (I'll call him Uncle John) and company at a
wedding.
<br>
When she finally arrived, she saw that everyone had already
had their appetizers and was halfway through the main dish. ...
3 Comments, 300 Views,
23 Votes
,3.24 Score |
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what makes my love.. 1/16/2011
The feeling of emptiness is no longer around,
surrounded by butterflies and beautiful sound.
Now that I met you it all seems so clear,
that you are the angel that was sent to me here.
Hearing you laugh and seeing you smile,
shows me that it’s all worth the while.
Feeling the warmth of your body on mine
Sends chills up and down my spine.
Looking into your beautiful eyes,
...
3 Comments, 234 Views,
22 Votes
,3.85 Score |
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White 8/12/2007
Why do brides wear white?
<br>
So the dishwasher matches the fridge and stove.
1 Comments, 512 Views,
22 Votes
,1.44 Score |
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love and \bsexo?\b, which you choice 8/30/2007
my freind told me western world, people more care \bsexo?\b
in family, and i talked many men here, most men divorced
, they always told me , their wives went to other man.....
4 Comments, 146 Views,
19 Votes
,3.39 Score |
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Did you know guys? 8/30/2007
Did you know that there is a part of a woman that a
guy can touch that will turn her on and make her go crazy?
That when you touch this spot she will be yours?
Answer: Her heart. ...
3 Comments, 243 Views,
18 Votes
,4.08 Score |
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simple joke 7/26/2011
Q: Why do couples hold hands during wedding?..
hhhhhmmm???
A: It is just a formality. like two boxers, the shake hands
before the fight begins...
4 Comments, 83 Views,
14 Votes
,3.78 Score |
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Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part IV 6/5/2008
The poker game was still going on but it was pitiful because
they were all so messed up or I was and it was hard to understand
what anyone was saying. The owner of the beer joint was gonna
let them continue to play as soon as he got all of the other
customers out of the place because he was gonna play too.
I stood around and talked to a couple of different people
a few minutes and about ...
9 Comments, 102 Views,
13 Votes
,3.98 Score |
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This is for the women who get hit on at least 5 times a day. 3/22/2011
Ladies, I've spent the past six months or so trying
to polish my singles skills again after a long bout of being
'committed'. Spent much time thinking about
the best way to approach a woman differently than the typical
stuff. Here are a few I've heard that don't really
sit well with me:
"Hey baby, you look great today"
"What's that perfume your wearing?"
"Baby, you're so sweet, ...
5 Comments, 189 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score |
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Do I Keep My Boyfriend or the Guy I Met Online? 12/4/2014
I’m in a state of confusion whether to ‘breakup’ or end communicating
with this guy. I’m 27 and he’s 26.
I met him online and we’ve been chatting for almost 6 months
now.
He’s halfway round the world, obviously. We just talk things
out if we’re not busy. We like each other but I guess he likes
me more because he ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score |
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EarthWorm 3/22/2010
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the
yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back
into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five
dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to
put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score |
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The Goofball 8/22/2008
I married the biggest goofball there ever was. About a couple
of months ago a case of hemrrhoids struck our household.
One morning my husband got up and brushed his teeth with
hemrrhoid cream. I died because he actually told me he did
it. But I am also talking about the man who thinks an impersonation
of squidward means standing on his head naked and swinging
body parts around saying 'hi, I'm ...
0 Comments, 92 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score |
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UNIVERSAL... 8/30/2007
its language is the language of anarchy. its cry is cry of blackened eye wolf. dictators were born
and born again. ignorant of the word death, the mountains turn crazy vomiting
of lava, it frozen like dumb nights!
4 Comments, 68 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score |
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A wife suspecting her husband, what happened? 9/7/2015
A man and his wife were living alone in the house and the husbands
does not like going out often, soon the wife employed a
cook for the house and she was a beautiful lady, the wife
suspected that husband now love going out in a particular
time soon the cook too, the wife also noticed that the husband
receives phone calls 10minutes before he leaves and the
name on the phone call in the ...
4 Comments, 102 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score |
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Gynecologist's Assistant 4/3/2008
A young man goes into the Job Center in Kansas City , KS and
sees a job posting for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he goes to learn more. "Can you give me
some details about this?", he asks the man behind
the desk. The Job Center man sorts through his files and replies,
"Oh yes here it is. The job entails you getting the
lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score |
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first love 12/27/2007
why we can not forget our first
love?...
4 Comments, 79 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
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Heaven's Shining Waters 9/20/2007
George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and
the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will
judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."
Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across.
He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals
to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I
have, what gives?"
The angel says, "He's ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
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be funny 11/25/2010
for taking easy make you happy in every time and dont worry
of thing
1 Comments, 14 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score |
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Humorous story 6/4/2010
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know
why his father didn’t punish him? Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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tradition or not 3/22/2010
If it is traditional for men to give women roses on valentines
day, then what kind should women give to their man ? Tulips
of course !
2 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
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Honey let me be your Salty dog ! 8/18/2007
This is a true story!
In July of 1984 and I was shacked up with a beautiful redheaded
ex-stripper and ex-car thief from Culpepper, Virginia
by the name of Julie in the small town of West, Tennessee
which was my hometown. Julie was 5ft. 2 inches tall with
medium length wavy dark red hair and a natural bust size
of 36 D that was way to big for her frame and she no doubt turned
heads ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Someone, somewhere, anyone,anywhere 11/24/2018
I came here to fix something and I can tell you about it later, if
you will like to meet I am looking towards meeting someone
who is nice, loving, honest caring and kind. I want a life
partner for who is going to love me! Someone that is going
to be my best of friend, and also ready to turn to your lover,
companion.. I am Someone that will takes your breath away
when we walk in a room. And am ...
1 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score |
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why 12/22/2011
when u love some one truly why she brake ur heart so easily
n badly.why n how she can brake eart so badly n dont say anything.
3 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
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Who wants who? 3/11/2009
On the dating sites it is so funny...the older men want younger
women, the younger men want older women, some men want any
women..Guys have you ever thought about someone your own
age.. you might be surprised how full of life they are, and
heck you would sure have a lot more to talk about.
1 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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Marriage 3/27/2016
I Looking a Woman For Marriage, (Caring, Loving, Open-minded)
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
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