Dear Dating Girl,

I am a 50-year-old woman who has raised three children that have now all left the nest. I've worked full-time and been married to the same man for 30 years, but I do not love him. One day, a guy half my age walked into our office and my heart started to pound like it never has before. He is in my thoughts constantly and fantasies of him keep me awake until 3 a.m. After a year, I am still crazy about him, but there is one catch -- he has a very nice girlfriend whom he is living with. Still, I leave candy on his desk and draw happy faces on his scratch pad when he is out of the office. I just want to win a million dollars and whisk him away to a faraway place and live happily ever after. What do I do? Risk it all for happiness in my declining years or stay in the predictable, comfortable, boring, loveless relationship?

Candy Woman





Dear Candy,

I think your lack of sleep is making you a little delirious. I can just imagine this guy getting home from work: "Hi honey, I'm home. I brought you some candy. That wacky lady left it on my desk again today."

Fantasy is a great escape tool. If fantasizing about this guy is making life in Dullsville a little more fun, go for it. But if this guy is living with his girlfriend, even Godiva chocolate and a million bucks probably won't lure him to you.

So you'd be risking it all (though all doesn't sound like so much in your case) for nothing. Your real dilemma is that your marriage is shot. Focus on improving it or get out and find an available guy to impress with your doodle talents.

---

Dear Dating Girl,

I've been dating a guy for a while now. On our first date, he dressed really sharply, but with each date he dresses more and more like a slob. I'm afraid he's gonna show up on our next date in sweats. I like the guy, but I'm really finding myself turned off by this. How can I bring it up without sounding too superficial and hurting his feelings?

Fashion Challenged





Dear Fashion,

Aren't we all so deep? Let's face it. A lot of guys need a little help in the style department. Most women consider themselves lucky if they can get a guy in a clean T-shirt and nice jeans. At the same time, most guys don't appreciate having their girlfriends relive their childhood fantasies by treating him like a Ken doll we can dress up anyway we like.

"Here honey...try this fabulous sparkly lime-green shirt. It's so fun, it'll look great on you. Barbie will love it."

You might want to casually mention how great he looked in whatever it was he wore on that first date. If he looks at you with panic in his eyes, could be he borrowed the duds and chances are he was never Mr. Style Guy to begin with.

Another strategy would be to casually point out favorable outfits in store windows that you think are in his style range. If you're lucky, he might take the hint and realize you appreciate a little extra effort in the style department.







Send letters to letters@joseyvogels.com. For more information about Josey, visit Josey's website.