Long Distance Relationship (LDR)
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Posted:May 16, 2008 6:21 am
Last Updated:May 27, 2008 3:12 am 2350 Views
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It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having miles, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even more difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.
Steps
1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?"
2. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection, but while instant messaging and e-mails play a large role in long distance relationships, remember that they can in no way replace verbal communication. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget.(Even though phone calls might get a little too expensive, there are special cards if you are to call each other from different countries, there will be no problems with costs since it is very cheap. We highly recommend you get one of those cards, it will be a lot cheaper and from experience E-mail and instant messages makes it easier to misunderstand each other.) Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!
3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.
4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
6. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
7. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.
8. Remember things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
Tips
* A long distance relationship is no different from a proximal relationship in that they both require a great deal of work, excellent communication, patience, sacrifice and understanding. But you will have to work extra hard to maintain the communication and to stay focused enough to not let your daily life interfere with your desire to be with the other person. Don't forget them or you can forget the relationship and it will all be over.
* One of the hardest parts of a long distance relationship is connecting when one person gets busier than the other. If this happens in a relationship it is important to maintain communication. If you are the busy person, try to warn your partner ahead of time that you will be working many hours and may have limited time. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.
* It helps to have a solid time in the future for when the long distance part of the relationship will end, no matter the time length. Without it, the relationship can begin to mold into something that is always distant - even with great communication. With it, each person can see the point at which the distance will end and work harder to keep emotions readily available.
* When talking to your partner, take note of things they enjoy the most (hobbies, day-to-day activities, etc.), and do a little research on it so you have more to do when you see them next. For example: If your partner likes to dance, find the location of different clubs where you will see them next. If you don't know how to dance, take lessons and you will impress them by your willingness to make an effort on their behalf.
* Buy a game that you can play together over the internet, such as a MMORPG (massively multi-player online role playing game). You will be able to chat while playing and it will give a greater feeling of togetherness.
* Mail each other scented clothes.
* Send each other spontaneous ecards.
* Make a creative countdown and mail it to your partner to enjoy until you see each other next. For example, create a photo calendar, with something you add for each day to describe what you love about them.
* Do not set unreasonable expectations for your visit. Fantasizing about the visit is fine, but not out loud or by email to your partner. Instead, enjoy the excitement of the surprises to come.
* The Long Distance Relationship Guidebook is a well-balanced, practical book for couples in long distance relationships who need some guidance.
* Buy a webcam so you can chat face to face and see each other, so when you meet you will remember what they look like.
* Consider the fact that living far apart gives you both a chance to grow as individuals. Some couples break up to "find themselves", but in a long distance relationship you both have enough space to do your own things and still have a connection.
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Beg For love ?
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Posted:May 16, 2008 6:09 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 2:8 pm 2036 Views
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Just as we don’t have to “BEG” the SUN for its RAYS,
and the OCEAN for it’s soothing calming sound waves
We don’t have to beg for the MOON and the STARS
to light our paths in the darkeness of the night.
We don’t have to beg for the FLOWERS to BLOOM
in SPRING TIME and display variety of beautiful colors
for our eyes to feast on and sweet fragrance for us to enjoy.
We don’t have to beg the BIRDS to chirp and joyfully sing
in the background for us to listen to…
We don’t have to beg for the NATURE and
God’s wonderful CREATIONS to display
it’s BEAUTY and SPLENDOR…
They just DO!
Just like YOUR LOVE for me
SWEET and TENDER…
Just like YOUR PROMISE
unfailing and TRUE…
I don’t have to BEG for YOUR LOVE
it is enduring, endless, matchless
and more than I imagined…
I am SECURE that NOTHING
can separate me from YOUR LOVE…
Beyond measure and above any other
TREASURE that I can possess and own
YOU LOVE ME…
I never have to beg for it
and it simply AMAZES me that
YOU just DO!
Copied from another blog because i love this poem.
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Lesson that i learn
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Posted:May 6, 2008 9:13 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 2:8 pm 2118 Views
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Past few weeks i've been very happy.
I just learn new things. I travel to places i never seen and meet new friends, got experiences.
Most valuable thing that i will remember is; i ever read this somewhere that happiness is spread like flu (i think its local tv comedy).
If someone feel happy, people around that person will be happy too. And if we stay with a person that depress so much, we will soon feel the same way too.
I want to proof if this is true or not.
I did.
I just try relax and happy. Not really bother small things that sometimes really irritate me. Simply just enjoy everything, like it was the last day of my life.
I could really see how then, things is very different. I laugh a lot, i smile, i had good sleep. Less worry.
And this does affecting person that close to me that time, as he said he never feel this relax, and happy.
We laugh, we smile, we joke, we..re crazy.
But i like it.. and its a good lesson..
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funny joke
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Posted:May 5, 2008 12:18 am
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 2:8 pm 2092 Views
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[1]
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
[2]
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
[3]
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
[4]
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
[5]
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
[6]
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
[7]
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
[8]
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his
mouth.
[9]
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
[10]
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
[11]
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
[12]
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
[13]
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
[14]
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
[15]
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
[16]
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.
[17]
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
[18]
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
performance
repeated".
[19]
Teacher : "Now, , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
[20]
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
[21]
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
treated. The others all died".
[22]
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and
at the same time."
[23]
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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Bali with love
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Posted:May 5, 2008 12:14 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2008 2:53 am 2262 Views
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On my other post i write about Peter, and how we mail each other. We're mailing friend, basically thats how we start this.
I told him i plant to go to bali and then he decide to join me. But before i depart from my home town, i send him mail and he said he will pick me up at the airport.
I forgot to tell him that i will use red scarf.
I am not really sure, i don't want to really 100% believe he will do that. I don't know i just had hard time trusting man since my last relationship.
When i walk out, he is there, i just know its him. I only had 2 pictures of him ! hahaha we send our pictures after like several months sending mails to each other. That time he thought i was chinese and i thought he was chinese because he thought i was chinese.. so we send each other pictures !
The first time i stood in front of him, i just can't believe.. hahaha i just shake his hand and pat his shoulder asking how long have he wait for me !!! (its so lame hahahaha !!)
When we talk about this we just laugh.. he just said the same he can't believe i did that after 3 hours sitting on airport concrete, had sore ass, i just shake his hand and pat his back ! hahaha !
Next day i want to rent motorcycle and when we mail about this he said he was worried about Bali traffic and its dangerous riding motorcycle etc. Just 5 min then he change his mind.. even when he know i don't bring my driving license !
How many man let a woman drive.. correction.. woman without proper paper to drive for him ?
I know in ozzie you drive on different sideways.. and also i know there would be lots of corrupt police out there on street will stop us if they saw an expat riding motorcycle (he didn't have international driving license!). So i ride on front !
We lost alot !
When people said man could read maps better than woman .. hahahaha.. he is the living proof that is not 100% right !!
But its an enjoy ride, no arguements.. nothing.. were in Bali.. the view its good.. we stop several time for coffee and food.
And he love durian.. weird..but he do, as much as i do !!
In bali during the vacation.. i just see how much we had similarity in anyways. I just can't believe it !
But also we still had differences. Alot too !
He cooks and i don't, i had sweet tooth and he don't drink tea or coffee with sugar. But we could overcome the differences i guess.
I just hope.. this could last.. and its not just in Bali.
Until today i still got his mail reply. He still in Ubud Bali.
He will fly back to Ozzie tonight, made me sad.. cause that means more distance between us.
But i believe.. if we could be best friend for 2 years... i believe we could still together and over come our difference and things between us.
I hope so....
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Finally met him !!
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Posted:May 4, 2008 7:08 pm
Last Updated:May 29, 2008 2:32 am 2604 Views
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Two years, we're just strangers writing mails to each other since 2006.
He live in Ozzie and i live in Indonesia.
My other online chat friend introduce me to him, give me his email address and said if i am still single and want to have boyfriend, i should contact him.
First i thought.. hehe.. well.. i am still single, just contact him as a friend wont hurt me at all.
I mail him, and in just one day he reply me back. Thats what happened until more than 2 years. I always wait for his mail, check my mail box. And sometimes if he didn't send me reply i will send him another mail.
His name is Peter, he still studying management that time at Wollogong University. He is older than me, 9 years older. But i can't really see the age gap as we send hundreds of mails, he's not that type of guy that have old, conservative and very different thought than i do.
Lets made this short.
I made plan to go to Bali since last december, and got my flight ticket booked. I mail him and told him about my plan.. and he said he is actually need vacation too.
Few days after that (3 days after sending the mail) he ask me wether he could join my vacation or not !
He is only friend.. thats how i think.. well a friend that replies to my mails for over than 2 years !! i don't want to hope for anything more than just that, even i do feel very worried to meet him.. you know.. worried about how you look after a midnight flight, and spent whole day in airport, etc etc.
We meet.. and.. he's not bad at all. First time meet its just clumsy situation ! i don't know if he already there waiting for me 3 hrs sitting in hard concreate pavement (no chairs at bali arrival gate), even made sure to my airlines for my arrival time. First night we talk, just talk like our mails not enough !! until 4 am in the morning.
After 3 days riding motorcycle all over Bali (he said it was bad idea before we even try, but he gave up ! and i ride on front !)... after those blue eyes stare me every time (the stare that could made you blushing), holding hands (reflex when i cross the street at the beginning, but then i can't let go his arms), nice small things that i do notice, etc.
He say the "word" with funny way one night after we dining...hahaha !
He ask me " do you love me?" and i laugh.. and say.. "i don't know". And he said " i do" i smile, and said "what ? since when??" and he said "since the beginning when we started to send mails to each other". I didn't answer anything until the end of the day when say good night to him, i said "i love you too"
I hope its just not "vacation fling".. you know.. things that happened only during vacation. Things like summer love, end as fast as its started.
I like him because when i with him.. i don't have this urge of being so perfect.. i just being my self, and he seemed not mind with my chubby fat ass or legs, or my cat shirt or my tomboy way to walk.. with him.. i could be me.
I just think i already find the one !
I had to go back to work since 4 days ago and he is still in Bali until 5th of May.
We promise each other to meet again, and were now boyfriend and girlfriend. I haven't think what next.. i just feel like i want to enjoy this first, don't want to rush.. cause i do feel i love him a lot, just want to do this right.
..sigh.. i am so happy !!!
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Let the boss speak first !!
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Posted:May 4, 2008 6:56 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 2:8 pm 2062 Views
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A Junior Software engineer, a Senior Software engineer and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each". So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff" and he was gone. Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff"
and he was also gone.
The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is:
"Always allow the boss to speak first"
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DIE-VORCE
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Posted:May 4, 2008 6:51 pm
Last Updated:May 15, 2024 2:8 pm 2049 Views
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A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour..
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"
He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet,
But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. .
Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph,
The wife turns to him and smiles.
"The airbag."
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Difference between engineers, Dr and chemist
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Posted:Apr 16, 2008 5:25 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2008 6:46 pm 2340 Views
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Once upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist,
and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the
king and were sentenced to die on the same day.
The day of the execution arrived, and the
doctor was led up to the guillotine.
As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the
executioner asked, "Head up or head down?"
"Head up," said the doctor.
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."
So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down
came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's
neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't
succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released,
so the doctor was set free.
Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?" said the executioner.
"Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."
So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down
came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist's
neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn't
succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released,
so the chemist was set free.
Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?"
"Head up."
"Blindfold or no blindfold?"
"No blindfold."
So the executioner raised his axe, but before he
could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:
"WAIT! I see what the problem is!"
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Funny: Man just don't know
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Posted:Apr 6, 2008 12:04 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2008 2:35 am 2269 Views
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On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new Husband
and asked for $20.00 for their first Lovemaking encounter.
In His highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than
30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford
new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her
husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was
going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let
go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and
therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than
thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1
million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the
bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged"
him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the
results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 Million,
her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he
found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were
doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths
shut.
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