My 28 birthday (wow)
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Posted:Mar 26, 2009 8:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2009 5:13 am 10695 Views
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I don't know about others.. but when i reach 28 years old.. wow wow... i just feel so blessed. Think, 28 years ago, i can't even speak or understand english ! hahaha ! I thank God because i feel happy when i was 28, and my wish i will always be happy for who i am ! I have lots of friends who love me, and care (much) about me. I still have a heart to love someone, have love experiences, sad and happy.. wow.. what a bless !! I got most of things i want, not much nor less... I had chances of traveling, and see much more than any of my friends, or my parents.
I am doing so fine until now.. Thank you !
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Hallmark boy
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Posted:Mar 18, 2009 3:38 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2009 5:33 pm 9701 Views
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I know this guy online, and he always seemed know what to say.. at the right time.. hmm I don't know why but its kind of hard for me to trust a compliments from a guy these days. I don't know whether he is saying the truth or not. If he give compliment once or twice i would believe it, but if he kept saying it over and over i feel like he is coying and paste some hallmark card !! Its just.. well.. nothing wrong with someone whos keep giving you compliment, i rather to hear that than the sentences that made me sad or annoyed. Well, every woman need those compliments words once a time. Until these days i just smile when i read that and kept saying never endless thank you to that guy.. he obviously try to flirt.. but its just not the way to win my heart.. hahah... But yes, i really appreciate that he is trying tho..
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Back from my long sleep
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Posted:Mar 17, 2009 1:32 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2009 3:29 am 10212 Views
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Oh i miss all of you here guys.. i do ! Its been month since the last time i write here. I become a blog addict !! Anyway.. i just want to say i am back.. i am doing just fine.. Still single, still happy for everything that i have and still dont have hehehe... I am living my life as good as i could !
Next month i will travel again to Thailand..
After what happened between me and Peter.. i think i am move on already.. i am an adult, a little heart break wont stop me in the same page of life !
OHHH GLAD TO SEE THIS BLOG AGAIN !
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The holiday (love the quotes !!!)
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Posted:Jul 1, 2008 6:39 pm
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2009 1:22 am 11427 Views
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I watched the "Holiday" movie (AGAIN). I try to think "oh... come on girl ! get over it would you !!!!" but i just can't help it... I watch this movie for the 2nd time. I see and understand this movie better than before. The joy when you meet someone on your travel, the sadness when you know you fell in love and have to leave the love at the holiday place...
Its not boring.. you know.. when you watch drama movie for the 2nd time sometimes you do feel bored.. but weird... watching this movie like i understand the feeling...
This is the lines on the movie that i like (my fave fave is with pink color):
Iris: I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.
Arthur Abbott: Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend. Iris: You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained things to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.
Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you. Miles: Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl like that would actually be with a guy like me.
Iris: I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.
Miles: Iris, if you were a melody... I used only the good notes.
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Breathe Again
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Posted:Jul 1, 2008 5:54 pm
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2009 1:28 am 9243 Views
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Time will heals.. i think listening to music will heals me somehow. This morning when i was in shower i listen to my mp3. And think.. this song is kind of sweet too. Its really a broken heart song, but strange, it made me feel like ..wow.. i am not that desperate... I still could breathe.. still could work.. and sure do will be able to love again ! ..separated with the one we love is hurt.. but it doesn't mean we have to die along with the love !!
Artist : Toni Braxton Album : Toni Braxton Title : Breathe Again
If I never feel you in my arms again If I never feel your tender kiss again If I never hear I love you now and then Will I never make love to you once again Please understand if love ends Then I promise you, I promise you That, that I shall never breathe again Breathe again Breathe again That I shall never breathe again Breathe again And I can't stop thinkin' about About the way things used to be And I can't stop thinkin' about About the love that you make to me And I can't get you outta my head How in the world will I begin To let you walk right out my life And blow my heart away
And I can't stop carin' about About the apple of my eye And I can't stop doin' without Without the center of my life And I can't get you outta my head And I know I can't pretend That I won't die if you decide You won't see me again
If I never feel you in my arms again If I never feel your tender kiss again If I never hear I love you now and then Will I never make love to you once again Please understand if love ends Then I promise you, I promise you That, that I shall never breathe again Breathe again Breathe again That I shall never breathe again Breathe again
And I can't stop thinkin' about About the way my life would be No I can't stop thinkin' about How could your love be leavin' me And I can't get you outta my mind God knows how hard I tried And if you walk right out my life God knows I'd surely die And I can't stop doin' without Without the rythm of my heart No I can't stop doin' without For I would surely fall apart And I can't get you outta my mind Cause I know I can't deny it And I would die if you decide You won't see me again
If I never feel you in my arms again If I never feel your tender kiss again If I never hear I love you now and then Will I never make love to you once again Please understand if love ends Then I promise you, I promise you That, that I shall never breathe again Breathe again Breathe again That I shall never breathe again Breathe again
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LINGER (CRANBERRIES)
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Posted:Jun 30, 2008 9:10 pm
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2009 1:24 am 9901 Views
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I like to listen to this song, especially lately after what happened between me and Peter. Its made me sad, but also made me realize how actually i feel about him, quite surprise.. i love him. But i do still want to look deeply because this sadness maybe more because now i am aware that i am back to single again.. hahaha not that soaked with tears-kind of sad. Just the sad feeling inside.
Especially as your additional information.. Peter ex-wife back to his life again.. she can't find a place to stay.. and he agree to let her to share apartment with him.
Do you know this song and like it too ?
Artist: Cranberries Album: Everybody Else Is Doing It So Title: Linger
If you, if you could return Don't let it burn, don't let it fade I'm sure i'm not being rude But it's just your attitude It's tearing me apart It's ruining everything And i swore, i swore i would be true And honey so did you So why were you holding her hand Is that the way we stand Were you lying all the time Was it just a game to you
But i'm in so deep You know i'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger
Oh, i thought the world of you I thought nothing could go wrong But i was wrong I was wrong If you, if you could get by Trying not to lie Things wouldn't be so confused And i wouldn't feel so used But you always really knew I just wanna be with you
And i'm in so deep You know i'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to. do you have to Do you have to let it linger
And i'm in so deep You know i'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger
You know i'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger
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Another Opportunity ???
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Posted:Jun 26, 2008 9:43 pm
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2008 12:49 am 9254 Views
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I am just put a step away from my previous relationship. Still hanging there. This one guy mailingme and then a week after calling me. Past 3 nights he always call me, and we talk for an hour. After he got back from work, and relax. And... sigh.. he also from australia !! same city like Peter. Its another friendship relationship at the very beginning ofcourse. Still we were friends after talking for hours at phone. Same like Peter he alraedy divorce with two . A lovely 11 years old and a 9 years old . Last night i had chance to talk with his , on speaker with him. She short of having problem, and just cry.. and daddy take her out for a car ride. I am quite surprise because he let her know about me.
We were still friend, and i am still think about Peter. I will open my heart again.. but ... this is too soon... isn't it ?
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A friend help
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Posted:Jun 26, 2008 9:19 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2024 10:6 am 8901 Views
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I met Kieran, he used to be Peter best friend. He's the person who introduce Peter to me. I told him about what happened between me and Peter. He seemed sad. He said its just not sound like Peter. I ask him, any possibilities why Peter seemed different. He said maybe because he is saying the truth about the financial problem. Since he had to get new unit and had to support his ex wife and .. even if the ex-wife already married again (is it true ??) And he ask me did i push Peter or anything.. and i said i never do that. In fact Peter is the one who pushed me to be more than friend. He start that idea.. even when i already warn him that it wont work good. Kieran told me that maybe when he write the mail hes just upset, and ask me if he write another mail, and nope.. he didn't write anything. And Kieran said man had this ego, sometimes when say something wrong hard to say sorry. (yeah.. man ego...) He said, i should give him some space (hehe like distance between two continent not enough). And he did think we both a match, thats why he gave Peter mail address to me. He said just be patient with him.. and wait for a while to answer the mail. Hahaha.. thats exactly what i am doing !
Its very dissapointing because... i hate a quitter... we're standing at the very beginning of relationship and he already give white flag on first obstacles !!
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Move on
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Posted:Jun 24, 2008 12:38 am
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2008 12:36 am 9932 Views
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What i hate when i broke my heart ? to start all over again. Meet new people.. dating.. and so on.. I had to drag my self push my self to do this.
Start over all again... manage my heart.. forget the past...
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OVER.. END...FINISH...
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Posted:Jun 23, 2008 11:12 pm
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2008 9:10 pm 9574 Views
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Peter send me an email two days ago. Reply from my previous mail ask where we're going. He seemed.. quit.. stop..had enough from this relationship. Two month old. hahahaha... short of new record for me. If you ask how sad i am.. well.. i am sad. Especially because seemed he's not breaking me up as gf/bf things.. but also break up from our friendship. First i feel sad, and then i feel mad, and now at the 3rd day after he sent the mail i feel nothing. I will copy his mail.. (well sorry guys its a very dissapointing things)
I feel so far a part now, i quite often feel stressed. I am wondering how we could ever make the relationship ever work. I starting to move into a period of long-term financial commitment and i not sure when i will be able to visit Indonesia again. I starting to feel that we are going down a road with no meeting point at the end. Perhaps at the start of our relationship we had dreams which don't form any true reality. I not sure what else to say.
There you go.
Hahahaha.. i don't know how to answer this mail.. so.. i didn't answer his mail. Its like he threw away our friendship for 2 years just like that. I know he is being rational. I UNDERSTAND what he's going thru. What i cannot accpet is he's quit so fast. Its just like what we had at past mean nothing.. which is making me mad.
But at the end, i am type of person whos never look behind. I could forget him.. need time but yeah.. i know i could. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know what to expect from him anymore. I am not stalker, i am not pusher. If he said he want to try, he willing to try, i would fight this relationship with him. But he's quit !!! Relationship need two person... i can't do this by my self....
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