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THICK WALLS AROUND MY HEART -GUARDING IT? Few days back, when i was chatting in the room, ny very old friend 'indigo" ALIS 'kah' ALIES 'cats', to whom I was the first to well-come in IFF suddenly said " Hungry all the time there were very thick walls around your heart. Was impossible for any girl to touch it" yeah, she was right. Many girls were wanted to be with me and even they were fighting in the room on me. it wasn't fun for me that time too so i was always telling them all Not to fight atleast on me because i an neither looking nor will ever be interested in anyone from online world. But is't the fact, Those Self Built thick walls too r becoming weak with the time and some even without my knowledge getting the success in piercing those thick guard walls? CONFUSED NOW ! Have I been told, “Always guard your heart”? I don't remember that ! But if it's case , considering the present situations am facing ( dunno willingly or unknowingly!) to guard my heart can be good advice ... But I find it a little vague. It begs the question, "what precisely am I guarding my heart from? And how would I go about protecting it?" I would like to spend some time looking into these questions further because if I can figure out how to protect my heart, I believe I can avoid a lot of pain and problems. So first…What do I need to guard my heart from? I believe the main thing that we are protecting our hearts from is believing lies from the world ...lies about.....our value, what brings happiness, how to spend our time, what is good, what is beautiful, what’s most important ...WHO'S MOST IMPORTANT ! Am i changing my priorities just for Love? Or i Am changing myself from Liberal to Possessive? Well this may sound too simple to find the answers of above questions,, but for that I need to fill my hearts with TRUTH and believe it, so that when a LIE comes my way, I am ready to fight it off with the Truth.. But am I sure ,Those thick walls I built around my heart are still stronger to accept the Truth? I doubt. In all my years being here in IFF and FF , interacting with , young and adults I have combatted so many lies that have caused extreme heartache. Is it necessary for me to stay away from those extreme heartache I need to protect my heart from Dating Relationship?. Do i am happy with the new feeling i may be started feeling unknowingly?.am I valuable only when I have a girlfriend says she loves me? if it is then what on i was feeling previously ' I am valuable because I am very carefully and wonderfully made by a God loves me.My value does not depend on another person’s opinion of me?....I need to start believing once again what i was feeling in the past. If I live for someone’s praise, I will die by their rejection.I need to understand that my girlfriend didn’t define my value. God does. is it possible for me ever in life if my girlfriend turns to bad behaviors, I can ignore my girlfriend's bad behaviors?. will I be able to change her? . In my very successful career as an Engineer, Company owner, Player. Social Activist, Politician, I have always observed , a disrespectful person will most likely stay disrespectful, an addict will often stay an addict, a cheater will often stay a cheater until THEY decide to change. You can encourage someone to make better choices, support them and pray for them, but don’t think your love alone will change them. I need to believe and trust my own observations . I won’t ignore bad behaviors and naively believe the other person will change. I need to be ready to protect my heart from getting too deep into a relationship with someone will hurt me. For some reason, I made some profiles on A D U L T FRIENDFINER site very recently ( of them 2 I killed and remaining one is ready to enter in the grave). I saw, what guys but even girls from there too think and take "Sex is not a big deal"! I always feel shocked when some says " Sex is Not A Big Deal"! SEX IS A BIG DEAL ! It is not just a physical act. It is deeply emotional. Rushing into sex because of raging hormones clouds your judgment of the other person and can lead to a relationship built on nothing more than lust. I trust in staying strong enough to wait.I am strong enough and worthy enough to wait to have sex until i get a trustworthy, loyal and honest girl., I need to save myr heart from feeling empty or perhaps used or cheap when the relationship ends. I AM WAITING FOR SOMEONE ADVISING ME ONCE AGAIN " STRENGTHEN THOSE WALLS YOU YOURSELF BUILT AROUND YOUR HEART AND GUARD YOUR HEART HOW YOU WERE GUARDING IN THE PAST" |
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I have a habit of "TALKING TO MYSELF". So enjoy this post ONLY AS MY SELF TALKS
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