My Ideal Person:
I won't f~uck your friends
I won't f~uck your brother
The only drama I have any part of is on t.v.
I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue
I've got secret tattoos
My kisses will take your breath away
I dig public sex
I don't care if you leave your socks on
My best friend isn't a guy
I can't stand John Mayer
The kinkier the better
I never drive faster than 30 mph in a school zone
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'll thank you every time you open the door
I'll laugh at every joke, even when it's not funny
I'd never give you shit in front of your friends
It gets better every time
I'll help you find your keys
I don't stop and ask for directions either
I try not to pick my nose in public
We can watch your movie first
I don't need batteries
I once ate a cricket
I eat red meat
I got suspended from high school 3 times
My family is just as f~ucked up as yours
I don't want to get married
I'm not a virgin
I'll show you my boobs at the store when nobody's
looking
I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there really is
I can hold my own hair back when I puke
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I think it's hot when you masturbate
I don't eat yellow snow
My friends are hot
I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than
they appear
I would never send you to the store for tampons
I never run with scissors
I know how to keep a secret
I can find Waldo almost every time
It's okay - I don't really expect you to last longer
than 10 minutes anyway
I'm just that good