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Men strike back! 1/25/2007 Men strike back! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it ---------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really b 0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Redneck Man's Pick-up Lines: 1/25/2007 1) Did you fart? cuz you just blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea...I can't hold it in. 4) Do y 0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes | |
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~THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME~ 1/25/2007 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pra 0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes | |
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~THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME~ 1/25/2007 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pra 0 Comments, 31 Views, 0 Votes | |
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We Wear The Mask 1/10/2007 We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes– This debt we pay to human guile; With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, And mout 0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes | |
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A Styrofoam Cup 1/9/2007 I remember sitting on the couch Thanksgiving Day, eating cold ravioli straight out of the can and thinking, “Is this what my life has been reduced to?”. I remember eating C 0 Comments, 23 Views, 0 Votes | |
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JUDGE NOT... 12/19/2006 I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, nor the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp---- The thiev 0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Judge not... 12/19/2006 I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, nor the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp---- The thiev 0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Judge not... 12/19/2006 I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, nor the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp---- The thiev 0 Comments, 68 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Jasper & The Uncooked Yeast Rolls 12/19/2006 Hysterical True Story! We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the fox terrier rescue program. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this 0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Stevie--A Trucker's Story 12/19/2006 If this doesn't light your fire...your wood is wet! I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable 0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes | |
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HOLIDAY BAKING 12/19/2006 This is a recipe for a cake you can use in entertaining relatives, or any other occasion!! Tequila Christmas Cake 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp.. s 0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes | |
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HOLIDAY BAKING 12/19/2006 This is a recipe for a cake you can use in entertaining relatives, or any other occasion!! Tequila Christmas Cake 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp.. s 0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes | |
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NEVER SAY TO A COP... 12/19/2006 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas ) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4 0 Comments, 59 Views, 0 Votes | |
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NEVER SAY TO A COP 12/19/2006 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas ) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4 0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes | |
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BAAAH - HUMBUG! 12/12/2006 Christmas day I'll spend alone In my cold and empty home Underneath my tree is bare There is nothing for me there BAAAH - HUMBUG! 0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes | |
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BAAAH - HUMBUG! 12/12/2006 Christmas day I'll spend alone In my cold and empty home Underneath my tree is bare There is nothing for me there BAAAH - HUMBUG! S 0 Comments, 23 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Please Hear What I'm Not Saying 11/7/2006 Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an a 0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes | |
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25 SIGNS YOU'VE GROWN UP 11/7/2006 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having \bsexo?\b in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you g 0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes | |
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25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP 11/7/2006 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having \bsexo?\b in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when yo 0 Comments, 60 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Gross but funny 11/6/2006 A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues. "Johnny!" mom sc 0 Comments, 95 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Something else to ponder... 11/6/2006 An optimist may see light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out? ... 0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes | |
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PONDERISMS 11/6/2006 ·I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ·Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. ·There are two kinds of 0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes | |
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BAD SITUATIONS EVEN A FORMER DATE COULD PULL: 11/3/2006 Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your , and everyone you k 0 Comments, 46 Views, 0 Votes | |
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IMPORTANT SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN! 11/3/2006 Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your , and everyone you k 0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes | |
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IMPORTANT SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN! 11/3/2006 Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your , and everyone you k 0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes | |
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IMPORTANT SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN 11/3/2006 Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your , and everyone you k 0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes | |
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? 10/31/2006 HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip comi 0 Comments, 59 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Hellooo-oooo! Is This Thing On? 10/24/2006 Sometimes, I feel like a comedian who is trying to get a laugh out of a "dead" audience. You know...how when they feel like their (non-existent) humor is falling on "deaf ears", and they bang on th 0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes | |
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And Other Things...That Stick In My Craw! 10/24/2006 Here is a list of other things that "stick in my craw": 1. People (especially men) who say they will call--then DON'T! 2. People who call and ask "Who's this?" (Duh, who were you tryin 0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes |
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