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JKH_54 60 M
13  Articles
You just never know!   11/4/2013

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband ...

9 Comments, 92 Views, 57 Votes ,0.40 Score
JKH_54 60 M
13  Articles
Old firefighters!   23/5/2010

One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink it exploded into flames. The alarm went out to the fire departments from miles around.

When the volunteer firefighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They ...

8 Comments, 79 Views, 35 Votes ,1.74 Score
Barry-UK 48 M
2  Articles
No Speaky English   10/10/2012

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in ...

5 Comments, 167 Views, 38 Votes ,3.32 Score
JKH_54 60 M
13  Articles
Bubba's hearing?   23/5/2010

Bubba goes to the tent revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over.

Bubba slowly rises from his chair and gets in line. When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about?"

Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

So the preacher puts his right ...

4 Comments, 75 Views, 10 Votes ,3.39 Score
Barry-UK 48 M
2  Articles
Medical Advances   10/10/2012

A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced ...

3 Comments, 104 Views, 15 Votes ,3.28 Score
awry_k 44 F
1  Article
hello   8/3/2014


2 Comments, 44 Views, 12 Votes ,2.09 Score
babypower7dk 43 F
76  Articles
Match Made in Heaven   23/9/2013

A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died.
At the Pearly Gates, the young couple confronted St. Peter. "Sir, you have to help us! We were to be married tomorrow. Is there any way we can be married in Heaven?" ...

2 Comments, 78 Views, 13 Votes ,2.81 Score
babypower7dk 43 F
76  Articles
Single   23/9/2013

A little old lady is sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, “Are you a stranger here?”
He replies, “I used to live here years ago.”
“So, where were you all these years?”
“In prison, ” he says.
“For ...

2 Comments, 63 Views, 12 Votes ,3.33 Score
lukman05 32 M
16  Articles
Dear Boss   10/9/2013

Dear Boss,

People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...

make less mistakes

2 Comments, 21 Views, 15 Votes ,2.52 Score
babypower7dk 43 F
76  Articles
MOM...   7/3/2013

Son: Mom, hi. How are you? How's everything in Florida?
Mom: Not too good. I've been very weak.
Son: Why are you weak?
Mom: Never mind.
Son: What's wrong?
Mom: Never mind. It's okay.
Son: Why are you weak, Mom?
Mom: I haven't eaten in thirty-eight days.
Son: That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in ...

2 Comments, 34 Views, 11 Votes ,2.05 Score
goodmorning2011 53 M
2  Articles
Blonde   27/8/2012

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and ...

2 Comments, 49 Views, 14 Votes ,2.98 Score
1  Article
Lamest joke contest winner.   22/3/2011

Two men walk into a bar, third man ducks.

2 Comments, 56 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
Flibberdigibit 44 F
1  Article

While walking down the street one day a Minister is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven, " says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me ...

2 Comments, 82 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
JKH_54 60 M
13  Articles
Both hands!   16/6/2008

A Tennessee state trooper pulls over a young man in a pickup on a lonely state highway that is driving erratic. The trooper had noticed that the man driving had a woman passenger that was sitting nearly on top of him as he drove and that she had one foot on the dash.

When the trooper walked up to the window of the pickup he could see a beautiful blonde wearing a pink miniskirt with no ...

2 Comments, 67 Views, 15 Votes ,2.37 Score
JKH_54 60 M
13  Articles
"In-Laws!"   16/6/2008

Me and my second wife were driving down a country road one day not saying a word after an earlier ding buster of a battle we'd had and neither of us wanted to to give it up.

As we passed a barnyard of mules and pigs my wife sarcastically asked me, "Relatives of yours are they?"

"That's right Miss Tennessee! They're my in-laws."

2 Comments, 147 Views, 20 Votes ,1.85 Score
placid5 40 M
4  Articles
prayer   12/8/2007

a man praying to his god- " o lord, give me sorrow, hard afflictions, sleepless nights, restless days, incurable pain"
god replies" my son, why don't you pray clearly that you need a wife?"

2 Comments, 56 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Gyuszi16 51 M
1  Article
My life   16/7/2011

Not always possible to good translate a joke (like from Hungarian), but I will try now...

The husband nicknamed his wife "my life" One day the Death camp-out on the door, and he opens the door. I came for your life, -says the Death. Just a moment, -say man -"my life", someone are looking for you...

1 Comments, 25 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
JKH_54 60 M
13  Articles
Little Boy at the Nude Beach !   23/5/2010

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.

As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women Have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.

She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of ...

1 Comments, 56 Views, 11 Votes ,3.73 Score
mita78 30 M
2  Articles
Greed pays atimes!!   1/2/2009

A friend in a company of a lady saw another one passing and had to abandon the later in the name of trying luck.He talked to her and to his amazement the lady agreed saying she has been wishing to get such a confident man!

1 Comments, 25 Views, 3 Votes ,0.49 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
Cows   12/8/2007

A man was looking to the sky, a flying crow shit in his eye, he clean his eye with a tissue and once again look to the sky and said "Thanks God cows can't fly."...

1 Comments, 177 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
The cowboy and the Yuppie   12/8/2007

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at ...

1 Comments, 152 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
Places of Hiding   12/8/2007

Two women just arrived at Lord abode up in heaven, made friendship and started talking their last moments on earth . First Woman said, "I froze to death"
Second Woman, "How did that happened?
First Woman, "Well, I was terribly cold and shivering, then I quit shaking from the cold, began to get warm, sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?"

1 Comments, 133 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
Always tell your wife the truth   12/8/2007

A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy some vegetables. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing lead to another and they end up in her apartment. After a while, he realizes its 3 PM and says, "Oh no, its so ...

1 Comments, 136 Views, 10 Votes ,2.79 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
The Husband Store   12/8/2007

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a woman goes ...

1 Comments, 106 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
Advise from father in law   12/8/2007

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Would it be please possible for you to share with me your secret?"
. The father-in-law beamed and advised, "Yes, never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she has done something wrong. Always bear in mind and thank God that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she has you ...

1 Comments, 103 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
Jail   12/8/2007

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's ...

1 Comments, 89 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
warriorcity 42 M
12  Articles
Bouncing&bowling   12/8/2007

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh..well...ah....well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and ...

1 Comments, 96 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
placid5 40 M
4  Articles
polce jokes   12/8/2007

a thief was running away.... behind him chased by a constable and behind him a polce officer. thief finally ran away... the officer stormed at constable " rubbish, could not grab him?" "but sir i took his finger print for future investigation" replied "where it is"- officer "on my cheeks"- constable

1 Comments, 65 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
placid5 40 M
4  Articles
dull headed   12/8/2007

a general wins a battle. media persons"congratulation general, for your victory" general" nothing goes to my credit, all credit to my fellow armymen" a week later his wife gave birth to a child mediapersons" congratulation general, you are now a proud father" general" nothing goes to my credit, all credit to my fellow armymen"

1 Comments, 42 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Exceller2 56 M
4  Articles
Two Hillbillies   12/8/2007

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation. A woman at a nearby table, eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it is obvious that the woman is in distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "can yer swaller?" The woman shakes her head, no. "Can yer breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue ...

1 Comments, 34 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
ouss1992 21 M
10  Articles
the expiry date   21/8/2014

Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

0 Comments, 6 Views, 3 Votes ,0.98 Score
houari32 26 M
5  Articles
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.   23/9/2013

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."

A few ...

0 Comments, 14 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score