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The teapot! 8/11/2007
John was fixing a door and found that he needed a new hinge,
so he sent his wife, Mary, to the hardware store.
While waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish with another
customer, Mary noticed a beautiful teapot on the shelf
behind the counter. When Carl was finished, Mary asked
"How much for the teapot?" Carl replied, "That's
silver and costs $300". "My goodness, that
sure is a ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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THE 'T' WORD 8/11/2007
QUETION : WHAT STARTS WITH 'T' ,
END WITH 'T '
AND IT IS FULL OF 'T ' ??
ANSWER : TEA - POT !
1 Comments, 21 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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chicken jokes 8/11/2007
how did the chicken cross the freeway
1 Comments, 39 Views,
3 Votes
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DATING TIPS FOR MEN 8/11/2007
There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things
NOT to say on a date...
I really don't like this restaurant that much,
but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
I used to come here all the time with my ex.
Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if ...
3 Comments, 102 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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~THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME~ 8/11/2007
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My ...
2 Comments, 61 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Redneck Man's Pick-up Lines: 8/11/2007
1) Did you fart? cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea...I can't hold it
in.
4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to check you
out.
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you wuz a tree and I wuz a Squirrel, I'd store my ...
3 Comments, 84 Views,
15 Votes
,4.66 Score
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chicken joke 8/11/2007
how did the chicken cross the road
did the chicken walk or run or fly across the road
1 Comments, 30 Views,
1 Votes
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A grandpha & A grandchild 8/11/2007
theres a little boy with his dear grandfather.after seeing
his grandpha face, the little boy asking to his grandpha;
Little boy:"Grandpha, does God created you?
Grandpha :"yes honey, God wascreated me many years
ago"
Little boy:"grandpha, does God also created me?
Grandpha :"of course honey, soem other times, thence
God was created you"
Little boy:"I ...
1 Comments, 77 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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drink 8/11/2007
Drink doesn't affect me much.i mean if i get stoned
out of my head.i would get into bed and be out like a light.
but if a burglar were to break in. i would wake up like a shot, alert.
my mind would be sharp, concise, clear. i would think where is my torch? where is me club? and then i would think; how the hell do i get out of bed? lol
1 Comments, 33 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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TON OF A JOKE CARTON HAVE IT READ PLZ ? 8/11/2007
☻ KNOWING YOURSELF Make yourself a better person and know who you are before
you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
☻ WHO YOU TRUST There's always going to be people that hurt you so what
you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful
about who you trust next time around.
☻ GRATEFUL ...
2 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
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COOL JOKES .................................................>>>>>---------------> 8/11/2007
☻ KNOWING YOURSELF Make yourself a better person and know who you are before
you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
☻ WHO YOU TRUST There's always going to be people that hurt you so what
you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful
about who you trust next time around.
☻ ...
3 Comments, 73 Views,
10 Votes
,1.00 Score
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MEANING OF WIFE AND HUSBAND 8/11/2007
MEANING OF WIFE AND HUSBAND
W WONDERFUL I ITEM F FOR E ENTERTAINMENT
H HANDSOME U USEFUL S SMART B BUT A AT N NIGHT D DANGEROUS.
1 Comments, 61 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
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Make me smile 8/11/2007
Tell jokes clean or dirty. PLAce to learn more jokes and
have fun..
2 Comments, 38 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Overseas Tease 8/11/2007
A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he’s going
to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in
the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there
he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter.
"My darling, " he writes, "it looks like
we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m
starting to miss you and ...
2 Comments, 85 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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POSTIE POSTIE........... 8/11/2007
I wanted to send you something beautiful, kind, attractive, funny
and sexy.But the postman told me to get the stamp off my arse
and get the f!!!! out the postbox.
2 Comments, 58 Views,
7 Votes
,0.24 Score
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FUNNY FUNNY... 8/11/2007
Paddy was at a Disco.He asks a girl''How about
a quickie?''She replies''Im on my menstrual
cycle.''Great says Paddy i'm on my scooter
, I'll follow you home''.
1 Comments, 82 Views,
11 Votes
,4.29 Score
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Skinny Dipping 8/11/2007
An elderly man in Hervey Bay had owned a large property for
several years. He had a dam in the next paddock fixed up with nice picnic
tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and avocado trees.
The dam was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when
it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam as
he hadn't been there for a while to look it over. He ...
1 Comments, 40 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Michael Jackson Jokes 8/11/2007
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
1 Comments, 25 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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GIRLS AND MAGIC 8/11/2007
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water,
bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard!
2 Comments, 52 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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The Train Ticket 8/11/2007
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super
Bowl.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch
as the three women buy just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one
ticket?" asks one of the men.
"Watch and learn, " answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Irish Airlne 8/11/2007
Paddy spent 3 days trying to book a flight on cunnylingus--
2 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,1.16 Score
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the worst life... 8/11/2007
Do you know what has the worst life?
An egg....it gets fried once...laid once...and the only
one who'll sit on his face is his mother.
1 Comments, 27 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
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Catholic Girls 8/11/2007
CATHOLIC GIRLS
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic schoolgirls and
they all perished.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you
ever had any contact with a male organ?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched
the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "Okay, dip ...
1 Comments, 75 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Unforgetable Date! 8/11/2007
Robert would like to make his first date full of memories.so, he
takes her date to a good fancy italian restaurant. After finished with the best wine together, robert read
the menu list book & call the waiter.
ROBERT : " hello..! I order this GIUSEPPE SPOMDALUCCI
for 2 person, please? make it special would be great! "
THE WAITER: " sorry Sir..., Its our Manager Names ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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The Answering Machine 8/11/2007
Phone ringing... "hello, you calling THE BEST RESTAURANT! if you
need some information, press 1.if you want delivery, press
2, if you have complaint, press 3, if you want to leave
a message, wait after bib...bib...! if you are a Debt Collector, just
hang on the phone! "
1 Comments, 45 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Men with beards are smelly 8/11/2007
Men with beards are smelly, scruffy and not to be trusted,
says a poll of 2, 000 women. They also reckon whiskers make
a fella look older and lazy.
Eight out of 10 women said bearded blokes
were a complete turn-off.
Only seven per cent would consider kissing
a fella with facial hair.
One in five said the clean-cut look ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
7 Votes
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Pick up The PHONE! 8/11/2007
Theres a little boy answering a phone call at home.the phone
call comes from a salesman, the conversation as the bellows:
Salesman :" hello...is your mothere in? " Little boy:" nope" Salesman :" is your father home? " Little boy:" Nope!" Salesman :" is there somebody else with you at home?"
Little boy:"Yes! my cousins! Salesman :" Can I talk to your cousins? " Little boy:" ok..( ...
1 Comments, 53 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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People need to "Think" before they open their mouth 8/11/2007
While on a trip in Egypt at the pyramids:
A friend of mine asked the guide " How many undiscovered
tombs are there? "
The guide thought for a moment and said " I guess when
they find them all you'll know."
This is a true story..
Sol 
1 Comments, 38 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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mother supireror 8/8/2007
a wee nun walks in to a pub asks the bar man , for a gin an tonic,
she knocks it back , she asks the barman for a double gin
an tonic knocks that back , after the 9th gin an tonic , the
barman says why are you drinking so much ? she replies its
for the mother superors constapation , i dont understand
how will that help her constapation/ says the barman because
when she sees me shell shit herself.
1 Comments, 96 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Not So Dumb Blonde 7/19/2007
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand
dollars ($20, 000) on a single roll of the dice. She said,
"I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice
and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a ...
1 Comments, 72 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
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