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Again about Doctors 8/11/2007
***
One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that
he hasn't been feeling well lately. The doctor examined
the man, left the room, and came back with three different
bottles of pills.
The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass
of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass
of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed,
take ...
1 Comments, 90 Views,
13 Votes
,3.98 Score
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I'M THIRSTY...! 8/11/2007
THERE IS A LITTLE BOY NAMES'A'
HIS DADDY ASKING HIM TO GO SLEEP, BUT AFTER 5 MIMUTES HE
IS SHOUTING..!
A :' DADDY....!
FATHER :'WHAT HAPPEN 'A'?
A :'I AM THIRSTHY...! NAY IA HAVE SOME WATER?
FATHER :'NO 'A'..! YOU HAD ALOT WATER ALREADY!
COME ON..JUST SLEEP..!
AFTER 5 MINUTES THEN..
A :' DADDY...!
FATHER :'WHAT DO YOU WANT 'A'?
A :'I AM ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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COUNTED MORE HIGH 8/11/2007
Teacher :'lets you doni show your friends how you count
start from 1 '
so Doni liftup his hand high, and start to count, one, two, three, four, five!
'
the teacher smiling..
Teacher : 'good doni, but can you count higher? '
doni :'sure i can '
then doni standup in his chair and liftup his hand, One, Two, Three, Four, Five...!
'
1 Comments, 34 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Powdering Your nose... 8/11/2007
A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little
boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always
be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does
not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself.
Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant
to excuse herself from the ...
1 Comments, 73 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Lucifer Cake! 8/11/2007
Husband :"honey...what is name of this cake?
Wife :"Lucifer Cake sweetheart..
Husband :"I thought you will say its angel cake..!"
Wife :"yeah...thats right, but before it felt of"
2 Comments, 38 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
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Collectant 8/11/2007
there are a 4 years old little girl with go to the church with
her mother.this week is Holy Communion in the church.
when thewine and bread come ove them, the mother said to
her little girl, "Dont take it, you are still akid, you
stil dont understand about this thing"
and then its time for the collectant come over them, the
mother said to her little girl, "wheresgive some
money ...
2 Comments, 36 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
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Trouble at Wal-Mart 8/11/2007
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that
he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping.
He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to
browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
13 Votes
,4.15 Score
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hmmmm 8/11/2007
If god made the front of a womans body, who made the back?
The council.....who else would put a play area next to a
sh*t hole.
3 Comments, 64 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Problem 101 8/11/2007
Dear Tech Support:
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend
7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected
processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable
resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs
and launches during system initialisation where it ...
3 Comments, 62 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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Da war of Supremacy 8/11/2007
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are
the ...
3 Comments, 55 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
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Da Lost Generation 8/11/2007
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and
with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later,
he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end.
He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself
off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft,
dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom
of the tree and with a sigh started ...
3 Comments, 60 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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tHE WISE dOG 8/11/2007
A butcher in his shop, and he's real busy, and he notices
a in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices
the dog
is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has
a note in his mouth.
He takes the note, and it reads "Can I have
12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The has money in
his mouth, as well."
The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there ...
4 Comments, 84 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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yum yum 8/11/2007
Jack and Jill were playing hide n seek.Jill said to Jack
"if you find me you can lick my f#nny and FriendFinder
me up the arse", "if you can't i'll
be in the shed".
3 Comments, 66 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
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Oh yeah 8/11/2007
Paddy went to visit his mate Murphy who had just broken his
leg. "Nip upstairs and get me slippers will ya"
said murphy. "Sure no problem" said Paddy.Paddy
sees Murphys 2 stunning 19 yr old twin daughters sitting
on the bed. "Your dad has just sent me up here to FriendFinder
you both" "Fcuk off ya liar" they said."he
has" Paddy replied, "listen". "Both
of them Murphy" Paddy shouts down the ...
4 Comments, 82 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
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Blonde joke 8/11/2007
How do you make a blonde laugh on a saturday..............
Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.
7 Comments, 884 Views,
56 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Mechanic 8/11/2007
How do you know when a mechanic has just had s*x.
His 1 finger is clean.
3 Comments, 115 Views,
18 Votes
,2.72 Score
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The Pope 8/11/2007
After getting the Pope's entire luggage loaded into
the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver
notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness, " says the driver,
"Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth, " says the Pope,
"they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd
really like to drive ...
3 Comments, 96 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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Lack of TRUST 8/11/2007
one day mr 'K' bought new tv.so, he does put the
old tv in the garage and put a writting on the big paper, "its
free for your home, if you like , pls just take it"
after aweek is over, the old tv stil in the garage of mr 'K'.its
look like no one interested with, even the old tv still
in very good condition.
and then on next day in the morning, mr 'K' change
the word in ...
2 Comments, 53 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score
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Take my hat too! 8/11/2007
theres an olg couple husband & wife on a journey together
by car.after few hours thy are stop in a restaurant to take
lunch.then they are continue the journey.but after 3o
minutes the wife realized that she left her glasses on the
table of restaurant.she ask husband take tur back there.the
husband sclod to her very much.its 'cos the restaurand
already left very far away.the wife just be ...
3 Comments, 66 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
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WASHINGTON DC 8/11/2007
TEACHER : "YOU LISA, WHATS CAPITAL OF AMERICA?
LISA : 'WASHINGTON DC SIR!"
TEACHER : 'GOOD.SO, WHATS MEANING OF DC, DONI"?
DONI : ' DOT COM , SIR!"
2 Comments, 51 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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DEFINITION BECOME OLD 8/11/2007
BECOME OLD IS WHEN EVER A DOCTER ASKED YOU TO WALKING CAREFULLY
AND SLOWLY, AND NOT A POLICE!
3 Comments, 36 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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what i learnt in school! 8/11/2007
'TO BE OR NOT TO BE' BY SHAKESEPEARE
'TO DO IS TO BE ' BY DESCARTES
'TO BE IS TO DO ' BY VOLTAIRE
'DO BE DO BE DO ' BY FRANK SINATRA
3 Comments, 44 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Do you need?? 8/11/2007
theres the phone ring!
on the phone :"sir, do you need loan for a house?"
Mr :" o..no!, i have own house"
On the phone :"do you need more money to pay your debit, sir?"
Mr :"o..i have no any debit "
on the phone :"maybe you need fund for renovation
your house , sir?"
Mr :"o...no!, i just finish renovation it" ...
5 Comments, 85 Views,
10 Votes
,4.18 Score
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A lawyer in TROUBLE! 8/11/2007
theres a drunkeness lawyer drive going home, but sudently
his car hit a car front of him.then the drunkeness lawyer
get out of car and say, "hey..!do you know i am a lawyer!"
somebody else in the hits car open the window and then say, "you
are only the person gonna be in big trouble! do you know, i
am a judge!"
3 Comments, 55 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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NEVER SAY TO A COP... 8/11/2007
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
(OK in Texas )
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector
wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to
keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition
to be a police officer. ...
3 Comments, 59 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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HOLIDAY BAKING 8/11/2007
This is a recipe for a cake you can use in entertaining relatives,
or any other occasion!!
Tequila Christmas Cake
1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp.. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality. (I already sampled
it...several times... ...
2 Comments, 50 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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8 Things Wont Ever U Hear in The Church! 8/11/2007
1." hey..! now is my turn sit in the FRONT"!
2." i am really interested with your speeched.i din
not realize that u already speech for 1, 30 hours"
3."actually doing a testimony more FUN than playing
golf"
4."i would like to be a sunday school teacher for the
rest of my life"
5."forget it about CHURCH PAYROL SYSTEM, just give
our ...
1 Comments, 37 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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just for fun :D 8/11/2007
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the ...
1 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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puddles 8/11/2007
Three ducks walk into a bar.
The bartender says to the first duck "Hi, what's
your name and how are you doing"? The duck says "My
name is Hewy and I'm doing great. It's raining
outside, and I've been in and out of puddles all day".
The bartender says to the second duck "Hi, what's
your name and how are you doing"? The duck says "My
name is Dewy and I'm doing great. It's ...
1 Comments, 36 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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stupid cat!! 8/11/2007
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the
evening. They turned on a night light, turned on the
phone answering machine, covered their pet
parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
They phoned the local cab company and requested a
taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the
front door to leave their house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back
into ...
1 Comments, 72 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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