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Oh, GOD, I'm coming!   2/25/2004

John was in school when one day his teacher touching on spritual topic. Teacher said : "When we die on day, our soul will come out from our head and fly towards GOD in heaven." John protest and said : "That's not true, teacher !" The teacher is very angry and ask : "Why are you say so ?!" John said seriously : "Because I witnessed it ! Every night, when both mum's legs are high with the ...

1 Comments, 211 Views, 62 Votes ,5.99 Score
AmericanCyrano 61 M
7  Articles
Playing doctor   2/24/2004

A little boy comes up to a little girl on the playground and says he wants to show her something. They go behind the playground and he drops his pants. <br> Pointing proudly he announces, "I have one of these, and you don't!" <br> The little girl lifts her skirt and says "I have one of these. And when I get older I can get as many of those as I want with it."

1 Comments, 253 Views, 34 Votes ,5.40 Score
Happyboy1966 51 M
4  Articles
Smart   2/23/2004

A boy at school was selling smart pills for a dollar a piece. Another boy bought one but ot didn't seem to have any effect. He then bought another one and then another. Finally he said, " These smart pills don't work. Besides, they taste like rabbit droppings" The first boy said, " You see, you're getting smarter all the time

1 Comments, 204 Views, 30 Votes ,4.71 Score
friends   2/23/2004

A husband came home early only to find that her wife is in bed with one of his friends. The husband gets the gun from his drawer and kills his friend. The wife approaches the husband and says " Dear, keep your cool, for if you continue to react like this, one day you are surely going to loose All your friends"

1 Comments, 142 Views, 48 Votes ,6.83 Score
DyslexicHeart 38 M
6  Articles
Insect School...   2/23/2004

A friendly grasshopper applied for a job as a crossing guard at a flying insect school. He got an interview, and went in to meet the superintendent, a stern bee. <br> "Your responsibilities on this job", the bee said, "include making sure the little flies get to school in the morning, and back to the bus in the afternoon. You must also watch them on the playground, and keep track ...

1 Comments, 116 Views, 22 Votes ,1.69 Score
DyslexicHeart 38 M
6  Articles
Tattoo Parlor   2/23/2004

A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the owner if he could get a special tattoo with the words "yes" and "no", on his manhood. The owner agreed and the tattooing was underway. <br> When the job was complete, the man thought his new tattoo looked great and he paid for the service. <br> That night when the man went home he approached his wife in their bedroom. ...

1 Comments, 133 Views, 42 Votes ,7.16 Score
DyslexicHeart 38 M
6  Articles
A bit naughty....   2/23/2004

[Author's note: I made this one myself. And the Insect School one...] <br> So there's this guy and his wife, rite? And they love eachother very much and it's cute, and they have this wonderful marraige and an awesome honeymoon and the kinkiest relationship the world has ever seen. Over time, however, in their relationship, he begins to get suspicious... <br> He ...

1 Comments, 46 Views, 31 Votes
DyslexicHeart 38 M
6  Articles
Gimme a Brake...   2/23/2004

[Translated from French] (At least, I hope this is what the article said! My french isn't too good!) <br> An auto mechanic was working underneath a car one sunny afternoon, when the main brake line sprouted a leak and brake fluid sprayed out into his mouth. At first, he was sickened and worried it might be toxic, but he quickly realized that this brake fluid actually tasted ...

1 Comments, 50 Views, 25 Votes ,6.12 Score
joe111200469 37 M
1  Article
a man went to the   2/23/2004

a man went to the docters with a steering wheel around his penis and said doc this is driving my nuts

1 Comments, 183 Views, 15 Votes ,3.90 Score
potatoes   2/22/2004

i was in the grocery store the other day, in the produce dept i over heard two arab women talking and one says, this potatoe is like my husbands balls. the other one said " that big"? her friend says "no that dirty!

1 Comments, 212 Views, 12 Votes ,0.86 Score
The Miracle of Toilet Paper   2/22/2004

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER . . . <br> Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. <br> "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a ...

1 Comments, 274 Views, 32 Votes ,7.55 Score
Awake   2/21/2004

A husband and wife was on bed when the wife asked : "Darling, tell me in truth, how many women have you been slept before ? I won't angry." The husband said : "Only you, sweetheart ! With others, I was awake !"

1 Comments, 235 Views, 17 Votes ,5.11 Score
I Shot The Dog.   2/20/2004

One day a lady who was pregnant with triplets went to the bank. While she was there, there was a robbery. She got shot 3 times in the stomach. At the hospital, the doctor told her that she and her 3 unborn babies were fine. Several years later, she was making dinner when one of the little girls walked up. The little girl pulled on her mothers dress and said, "mommy, when i went pee-pee, a ...

1 Comments, 1185 Views, 28 Votes ,6.32 Score
Im having puppies!   2/20/2004

There are 3 pregnant women in the waiting room at the doctors office...a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all talking about what kind of babies they were going to have. The brunette said, "well, im going to have a girl because i was on top", then the redhead said, well im going to have a boy because i was on bottom. Then the blonde ran to the corner and started to cry. When the ...

1 Comments, 158 Views, 15 Votes ,5.12 Score
StrayCat2003100 52 M
5  Articles
Sex-Lax   2/18/2004

The gentleman walked briskly into the drug store, strode over to the pharmacist and said, "I would like a box of Sex-Lax." The pharmacist smiled and replied, "You must mean Ex-Lax." <br> "No, " the man responded, "I don't have any trouble going."

1 Comments, 178 Views, 23 Votes ,4.06 Score
StrayCat2003100 52 M
5  Articles
The future sex therapist   2/18/2004

The teacher asked the children in her class, what they want to be when they grow up. "I want to be an actress, " Susie says. <br> "Good girl, Susie." <br> "I want to be an astronaut, " Cliff says. <br> "Good boy, Cliff." <br> "And I want to be a sex therapist, " Little Johnny yells out. <br> "Would you please tell the class how you ...

1 Comments, 262 Views, 22 Votes ,5.77 Score
StrayCat2003100 52 M
5  Articles
The examination   2/18/2004

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old crone, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination" said the young girl. "Alright, " said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." <br> "No, not me, " said the girl. "It's my old aunt here." <br> "Very well, " said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

1 Comments, 241 Views, 73 Votes ,7.10 Score
StrayCat2003100 52 M
5  Articles
little baby boy and a little baby girl   2/18/2004

There was a little baby boy and a little baby girl. Then the baby boy goes "I'm a boy, you are a girl!" Then the girl goes "How do you know?" Then the little boy goes "I'll show you when the nurse leaves." So about 10 minutes later, the nurse leaves. So the boy lifts up his gown and goes......... "See I have Blue Booties, and you have Pink!

1 Comments, 271 Views, 20 Votes ,6.06 Score
WineLover33 47 M
1  Article
BANG!   2/10/2004

Superman was flying past when he looked down and saw Wonderwoman lying naked on a lawnchair sunbathing in her balcony. He thought: "hey, given all my speed, who's to know if i were to swoop down n "BANG!" her?" So that's what he did......swooop......BANG!...and off he flew at the speed of a bullet... Stunned, Wonderwoman: "OMG! what was THAT?!" Stunned, Invisibleman: "I dunno...I juz felt ...

1 Comments, 169 Views, 65 Votes ,6.51 Score
peace772 39 M
4  Articles
Wife and sex   2/6/2004

Two young friends decided to visit a brothel and have a nice time without the knoeledge of their wives. On getting there, the first one entered and after 15 minutes, he came out hissing and said "my wife is better than her". The second one followed suit and after just five minutes, he came out shaking his head and said "Yes it is true, your wife is better than her."

1 Comments, 59 Views, 130 Votes ,6.20 Score
This women gets in a car crash   2/3/2004

This women gets in a car crash and her husband goes to the hospital when he finds out. When he gets there the docter tells him, "I got some bad news, your wife has been severly damaged from the crash. She lost both arms and both legs. She can not move unless you help her. You need to feed her, clean her, dress her, move her, give her several pills daily, and worst of all, have to watch her ...

1 Comments, 206 Views, 74 Votes
cassiopeiam13 52 M
3  Articles

There's these two guys walking on the bridge, crossing the river.They stop to take a leak with their peckers hanging in the hand, peeing into the river.The one from Texas says:"hey, this river is cold", the other one from Arkansas:"yeah, it's cold, AND deep too!"

1 Comments, 224 Views, 41 Votes ,1.43 Score
what do you get?   1/30/2004

what do you get when you put a bulldog and a shitsui daog together? <br> ANSWER: BULLSHIT

1 Comments, 139 Views, 37 Votes
sad233 35 M
2  Articles
Strong Medicine for the Nun   1/25/2004

Pat is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. <br> While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, a nun comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard. <br> Pat goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor: "I just saw a nun leaving who looked absolutely terrible. I have never seen a woman look worse."

1 Comments, 184 Views, 70 Votes
sad233 35 M
2  Articles
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:   1/25/2004

Caution! I stop for gnomes, elves, pixies, unicorns, leprechauns, faeries, dragons, and other mystical creatures only I can see.

1 Comments, 124 Views, 75 Votes ,1.79 Score
the salesman   1/24/2004

A woman walks into a clothing store, as she's looking around a salesman comes up to her and asks if she needs help. The woman asks him "which do you think would be better, a sweater or a windbreaker?" "Well, " says the salesman "that all depends on weather you're gonna sweat or break wind...."

1 Comments, 122 Views, 49 Votes ,2.55 Score
superbowl25 32 M
2  Articles
"Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al Yankovic   1/23/2004

Though this is technically not a joke, I thought it would be appropriate to put the lyrics to this song here, since I found it really funny. <br> "Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al Yankovic <br> I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure baby, you're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrical, and your ...

1 Comments, 121 Views, 44 Votes ,4.72 Score
kids these days   1/22/2004

what is it with kids these days?, cut all their hair off, have their eyebrows, nose, tongue, ecetera pierced with a piece of metal in it?, tattoos, are they just trying to go along with the crowd?, be cool?, are they all rock star wannabes?, well at least rock stars let their hair grow, i have a friend who would sell the farm for hair, guess i am just getting old, i still listen to their ...

1 Comments, 242 Views, 49 Votes
Mushroom Fun   1/20/2004


1 Comments, 33 Views, 50 Votes ,4.23 Score
WHY   1/18/2004

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a drive way?

1 Comments, 196 Views, 41 Votes ,3.78 Score
peace772 39 M
4  Articles
Priest, police and holy ghost   1/18/2004

There was a priest who, any time he comes across Police checpoints in his small volkswagen carat night and was asked "who are you with in your vehicle, he replies "Oh, I am with angel Gabriel, Angel Michael, Mary Mother of God, holy spirit etc etc. The policemen, who care nothing but for bribe from the priest, get angry everytime until one night when one of them, anxious to get something ...

1 Comments, 115 Views, 94 Votes ,5.46 Score
Think about it   1/17/2004

Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

1 Comments, 218 Views, 48 Votes ,5.45 Score
Police   1/17/2004

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies "Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...No"

1 Comments, 148 Views, 96 Votes ,5.88 Score
Another Blonde   1/17/2004

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to ...

1 Comments, 125 Views, 48 Votes ,4.96 Score
what they have in common   1/17/2004

What does driving in fog & muff diving have in common. Ans- You can't see the cunt in the front

1 Comments, 151 Views, 35 Votes ,0.77 Score
MANUEL2007 33 M
1  Article
CAN YOU LAUGH?   1/15/2004


1 Comments, 315 Views, 73 Votes
cuddles19462 70 M
2  Articles
Immigrants to America   1/9/2004

Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one say to the other. I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs. Odd, her companion replies, but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do. Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they walk toward the cart. Two dogs, please, she says. ...

1 Comments, 252 Views, 79 Votes ,7.78 Score
cuddles19462 70 M
2  Articles
Love and the Redneck   1/9/2004

A big old redneck walked into his local bar, with a big grin on his face. What are you so happy about? asked the bartender. Well I'll tell you. he replied. You know I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I , of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to cut a long story ...

1 Comments, 159 Views, 79 Votes ,7.20 Score
sexyblonde273 42 F
3  Articles
a family of silence   1/8/2004

A guy had just bought his first motorcycle at a local dealership and before he left the salesman handed him a jar of vasoline and said before it starts raining you need to lube up your bike so it doesn't rust. He agreed and went to pick his girlfriend up from work..when he got there she asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner and meet her family. The guy agrees and they take ...

1 Comments, 323 Views, 87 Votes ,8.15 Score
sexyblonde273 42 F
3  Articles
blonde joke for ya..   1/5/2004

Q. How are blondes and turtles alike? <br> A. Once their on their backs they are screwed.

1 Comments, 202 Views, 83 Votes ,6.03 Score
cutiepie198023 36 F
7  Articles
Priceless   1/4/2004

A friend of mine in the Air Force sent this to me: <br> Plane ticket to Jacobabad, Pakistan.........(Free for Military Personnel) <br> Pack of cigarettes...........................$3.45 <br> Magazine to help pass the time...............$4.99 <br> Bottle of aspirin to get over the jet lag.....$3.95 <br> Pack of pens ...

1 Comments, 243 Views, 66 Votes ,1.15 Score
cutiepie198023 36 F
7  Articles
Annual Check-up   1/4/2004

This was sent to me by a friend: <br> An 85-year old man is having his annual check-up. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling. <br> The old man says, "I've got an 18 year old bride who's pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" <br> The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an ...

1 Comments, 245 Views, 229 Votes ,8.24 Score
no charge   1/3/2004

one day electron went to the wine bar and buyed one bottle wine. but it didnt pay money for the bottle. do you know what is the reason? answer below <br> because electron has no charge

2 Comments, 288 Views, 45 Votes ,0.10 Score
conversation   1/3/2004

father to son : at your age nehru was a gold medalist son to father : at your age he was the prime-minister of india

1 Comments, 160 Views, 31 Votes ,2.09 Score
cutiepie198023 36 F
7  Articles
The Kid and The Cop   1/1/2004

This joke was sent to me by my best friend the other day. <br> On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid replies, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop ...

1 Comments, 172 Views, 199 Votes ,8.45 Score
A Salesman's Dillemma   12/21/2003

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?" <br> The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to ...

1 Comments, 229 Views, 164 Votes ,6.91 Score
Tyson One Liners   12/21/2003

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! <br> Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two! <br> Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. <br> For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in ...

1 Comments, 296 Views, 40 Votes ,2.04 Score
What God Told The Businessman   12/21/2003

A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe. <br> When he had finished, the priest said, Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your ...

1 Comments, 283 Views, 251 Votes ,6.64 Score
What's time ;-))))   12/17/2003

Do u know what's time is it when an elephant sit on your watch???? It's time to buy a new one LOL

1 Comments, 203 Views, 34 Votes ,0.99 Score
dr_wahdan2 47 M
44  Articles
nice to be one at f.finder   12/15/2003

Dear Friendfinder. Thank u so much for this program. i was first here 3 years ago. i did not believe in love, and was on friendfinder just to find friends to share stories. But i found somebody from friendfinder. we are from very different backgrounds: I'm asian and he is german. But after a long time we met in my country and created some very beautiful memories. we had 3-year love ...

1 Comments, 159 Views, 49 Votes ,6.16 Score
flippin´pages   12/15/2003

There was this married couple, and so everytime when they go to bed the man had to read his novel atleast a page.So this time around the mad read his novel but it took him too long to turn the page until his wife asked him, Why r u taking too long to turn over the page today?`And the man answered i need to wet my finger for me to be able to turn the page and so he sticked the finger in his ...

1 Comments, 284 Views, 46 Votes
International relations   12/15/2003

This is a transcript of a radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian Authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. <br> Canadians: Please divert your course fifteen degrees to the south to avoid a collision. <br> Americans: Recommend you divert your course fifteen degrees to the north to avoid a collision. <br> Canadians: Negative. You will have ...

2 Comments, 235 Views, 252 Votes ,8.75 Score
melto2 37 F
4  Articles
how many animals??????   12/11/2003

Q- How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? <br> A- 10 little piggys (toes), 2 calves, an ass, a beaver and a fish no one can seem to find.

1 Comments, 524 Views, 61 Votes ,5.98 Score
A Touching Letter.   12/10/2003

A Touching Letter Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all human kind. Read it and forward it to all those who could use a lift. It's a heartwarming story <br> Dear Safety Harbor Middle ...

1 Comments, 193 Views, 63 Votes ,7.37 Score
Grat Uncle George.   12/10/2003

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. <br> They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose -- how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric ...

1 Comments, 144 Views, 39 Votes ,4.78 Score
Superman   12/10/2003

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window." <br> The ...

1 Comments, 233 Views, 169 Votes ,6.13 Score
Senile   12/9/2003

An old man wen in to the doctor's one day for one a checkup. At the checkup, the doctor asked the man the routine questions and then asked if anything interesting had been happening. The old man replied, "Actually, yes. Every time I go into the bathroom, God turns the light on for me, and when I leave, he turns it back off". The doctor was puzzled and decided to ask the old man's wife if ...

1 Comments, 146 Views, 29 Votes ,4.74 Score
TTCT50 40 M
1  Article
What do you call a smart blonde   12/8/2003

?What do you call a smart blonde? answer= A Golden retriever

1 Comments, 126 Views, 73 Votes ,5.53 Score