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shirokuma98 54 M
4  Articles
The traveller and the barn   31/3/2004

A young guy is travelling in the country side. Soon it wil be gettting dark and he needs aplace to stay.Seeing only farms around he decides to knock on one of their doors. The traveller explains to the farmer "i require a place to sleep for the night Can you help me?" The farmer replies "I can only let you sleEp in the barn" "that is fine" says the traveller. So the farmer shows him the ...

1 Comments, 51 Views, 26 Votes ,6.69 Score
mark18ph83 30 M
2  Articles
what is the mathematical equation for Engineer Vs. Executives?   29/3/2004

if you think there are difference between the Engineer vs. executive. pls make an equation or postulates for that... try to guess?//////

1 Comments, 130 Views, 22 Votes
mark18ph83 30 M
2  Articles
Engineering vs Math Majors   29/3/2004

Engineering vs Math Majors <br> A math and engineering convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were both math majors and engineering majors. Each of the math majors had his/her own train ticket. But the Engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The math majors started laughing and snickering. The engineers ignored the laughter. <br> ...

1 Comments, 148 Views, 38 Votes ,7.80 Score
Crisly185 28 F
6  Articles
Man and woman   28/3/2004

The man is running at home and :Wife!Our house is burning!What we should do???Suddenly somebody say something:, ,Wardrobe!You should go in wardrobe!??, ,But hwo is speakind?Wondering the man.We the suits are speaking.??

1 Comments, 131 Views, 43 Votes
MtnMan39 56 M
4  Articles
fishing   28/3/2004

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat. She rowed out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along ...

1 Comments, 170 Views, 32 Votes ,5.87 Score
The off switch...   28/3/2004

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. <br> Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. <br> Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?" <br> The clerk, politely ...

1 Comments, 206 Views, 48 Votes ,8.29 Score
Crisly185 28 F
6  Articles
Elephant and ant   27/3/2004

Elephant and ant decided to change their eggs. Next day they met and elephant said It wan?t so bad, I didn?t have to do anything.? The ant said I was too really fun. But they wanted to draw me out when we reached to the curve.?

1 Comments, 227 Views, 15 Votes
Crisly185 28 F
6  Articles
little moth   27/3/2004

Little moth is sitting in the cupboard with his mom. ?Mom, I want to go out.? ?You can?t, you mast sit in the cupboard and eat the fur coat.? ?But I still want to go out.? ?You silly.If you go out, then they will kill you.? ?No I don?t think so because last time everybody were applauding.?

1 Comments, 160 Views, 9 Votes
Crisly185 28 F
6  Articles
Three fools animals   27/3/2004

Rabbit, Bear and Mole: they wanted to go to foreign country. They put themselfes nicknames: Rabbit-Raby Bear-Beary Mole-?I don?t want to go to foreign country!?

1 Comments, 258 Views, 13 Votes
Crisly185 28 F
6  Articles
two mice   27/3/2004

Two mice were drawing the cheese. Suddenly one mouse stopped. ?Run!? Front of us is one big black cat!? Since when are you so superstitious??

2 Comments, 1122 Views, 15 Votes ,0.68 Score
rehmanzia 36 M
1  Article
Bastard   26/3/2004

GIRL : I have sinned a great sin. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD. PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? <br> GIRL : Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST : You mean like this? <br> GIRL : Yes! PSYCHIATRIST : Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD. <br> GIRL : But, he put his ...

1 Comments, 247 Views, 68 Votes ,7.69 Score
Be careful guys!   23/3/2004

An American business man traveled throughout the Pacific Rim on a 3 month business trip. He mixed business with pleasure once too often and contracted a mysterious venereal disease. His home physician informed him that his member would have to be amputated. Shocked that his doctor would propose such a radical procedure, the business man consulted numerous other physicians, but they all ...

1 Comments, 195 Views, 30 Votes ,4.61 Score
bud_31 44 M
3  Articles
Nursing Home   23/3/2004

A man decides to finally put his father in a retirement home. The fathers first night there, he gets a hard on. He pushes the button to call a nurse and in comes this beautiful woman. She sees the problem and start to give him head. When he's done, she leaves. He immediatly calls his son and tells him what happened. The son says "That's great Dad, I'm glad you like the place." The ...

1 Comments, 281 Views, 41 Votes ,6.61 Score
kingtut20002001 47 M
1  Article
change oil   22/3/2004

This 80 year old man marries a 20 year old woman, the following year she is in the hospital having their first child. The nurse comes and says to the man "My sir how do you do it at your age?" he replies "I just keep the motor running. The following year she is in having their second child and again the nurse says to him "Amazing how do you do it?" he just looks at her and says “I ...

1 Comments, 244 Views, 51 Votes ,6.65 Score
Kaeke 51 M
2  Articles
Polish jokes.   20/3/2004

A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Polack were arguing about the purpose of the flange on the head of the penis! The Frenchman says; "Ze flange on ze head of ze penis is for giving ze woman pleasure." "Dat's nota so, " says the Italian, "Da flange on da head o' de penis is for giving da man pleasure!" "Idiots!" Cries the Polack, "It's so you damn hand doesn't slip off!"

1 Comments, 138 Views, 33 Votes ,4.07 Score
busted_50 61 M
2  Articles
FRIENDFINDERS OF THE 1900'S   17/3/2004

In the 1900's there was no and people of the west had to resort to Mail-order brides. The people of the west thought that they were tough and this may or may not be true. This is one story of that time. This farmer was lonely and he had worked very hard to build up his farm, train his horses and dogs, clear his land, etc. He decided to send in his money and order one ...

1 Comments, 240 Views, 25 Votes ,3.80 Score
Santa statistics   16/3/2004

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are roughly 300, 000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this does not rule out flying reindeer - though Santa and my uncle Ralph, in his drinking days, are the only people who've ever seen one. There are two billion children (small people under the age of 1 in the world. But ...

3 Comments, 71 Views, 11 Votes ,2.42 Score
Beer and Ice Cream Diet   16/3/2004

Justification for beer and Ice cream! But stay away from the pizza! <br> As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive ...

1 Comments, 161 Views, 6 Votes ,1.94 Score
cidvain74 40 M
2  Articles
Say--ten?   16/3/2004

One gloomy evening a broke-ass and wasted compadre sits alone in the sleeziest bar in downtown Brownsville. Wishfully longing for another drink in order to drown his sorrow, he is abrupltly intervened by the vision of a well attired and appealingly opulent man, in which holds a seemingly familiar and old facade. Seeing the man with blurred vision entering through the tilted swinging doors, ...

1 Comments, 121 Views, 8 Votes
busted_50 61 M
2  Articles
KNOW HOW TO TELL A JOKE?   15/3/2004

In prison inmates number the jokes because they have heard them so often. When they wish to tell a joke they just yell out a number and all of the other inmates (because they know the joke applied to that number) laugh. One day a new prisoner comes in and knows nothing about the system asks a fellow inmate about why everyone laughs when a number is called out? The system is explained to ...

1 Comments, 194 Views, 14 Votes ,2.34 Score
$200 Bucks It Is...   15/3/2004

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. <br> " Hi, is Tony home?" " No, he went to the store." "Well, you mind if I wait?" " No, come in." They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Nora thinks about this for a second and ...

1 Comments, 123 Views, 395 Votes ,8.06 Score
4 Sons   15/3/2004

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son Kent, " says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was ...

1 Comments, 256 Views, 150 Votes ,8.39 Score
A Bug   15/3/2004

Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left. The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell ...

2 Comments, 274 Views, 14 Votes ,3.94 Score
A Case for More Beer   15/3/2004

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate ...

1 Comments, 197 Views, 14 Votes ,3.30 Score
A Cat's Diary   15/3/2004

Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. <br> I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a ...

5 Comments, 452 Views, 34 Votes ,3.33 Score
The bomb and the pilot   15/3/2004

3 people were on a plane. One said to the pilot, "I have a glass bottle. What do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the window. The second one asked the same question and the pilot also told him to throw it out the window. The third one asked the pilot, "I have a bomb. What do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the window. When they landed they met a man ...

1 Comments, 98 Views, 15 Votes ,1.91 Score
Eve and adam   15/3/2004

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, ...

2 Comments, 206 Views, 17 Votes ,3.41 Score
Little Johnny   15/3/2004

Little Johnny was sitting one day on a dock. Along came a preacher and sat down beside him. Little Johnny had a mason jar full of what looked like water and he was turning it over and over, watching the bubbles float through it. The Preacher asked, "What are you doing with that water?" Little Johnny studied the contents of the jar for a moment, then explained, "Preacher, this here is ...

1 Comments, 114 Views, 16 Votes ,4.74 Score
Italian Journey   15/3/2004

Italian Journey "One day Ima go to No Fock, Virginia to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tell the waitress I wanna two piss toast. She branga me only onea piss, I tell her I wanna two piss, she say go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better no piss on the plate you Sonna Ma Bitch. I don't even know the lady ...

1 Comments, 150 Views, 7 Votes ,1.00 Score
Here's to the Woman who Drinks   12/3/2004

Here's To The Woman, In High Heeled Shoes. Who Smokes Your Cigs, And Drinks Your Booze. You've Taken Her Cherry, But That's No Sin. Cause She 'Still' Has The Box, That The Cherry Came In !!!

1 Comments, 190 Views, 36 Votes ,2.72 Score
quanjuying 54 F
6  Articles
coincidence   8/3/2004

a woman was singing. one of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticised the singer. " what a terrible voice!" he said. ' do you know who she is?" " yes." was the answer. "she is my wife." "Oh, i beg your pardon." the man said, " of course her voice is not bad, but the song is very bad. i wonder who wrote that awful song." "i did." was the answer.

1 Comments, 340 Views, 40 Votes ,2.36 Score
quanjuying 54 F
6  Articles
donkey's father   8/3/2004

a traffic accident happened in a samll town, and the place is crowded by many people. a man , who liked watching very much , came late . he could see nothing because he stood behind. Suddenly he had a good idea and then he cried, " let me in, please. i 'm his father!" the other people were surprised, and stepped back in order to let him in. when he entered in and saw clearly, he couldn't ...

1 Comments, 265 Views, 36 Votes ,2.72 Score
quanjuying 54 F
6  Articles
Mother and Daughter   8/3/2004

Mommy, why do you have so many gray hairs? I expect it's because you are so naughty and cause me so much worry. Oh-- you must have been terrible to Grandma.

1 Comments, 299 Views, 31 Votes ,3.72 Score
quanjuying 54 F
6  Articles
dringking   8/3/2004

a guy who loves drinking so much , every afternoon the guy goes into the bar and orders 4 shots of scotch at the same time , then proceeds to drink them all . one day the bartender asks him why he orders all 4 at once and the guy replies that he has 3 brothers who do the same thing ever day at the same time so that they can all have a drink together no matter where they are. one day the ...

2 Comments, 303 Views, 28 Votes ,3.96 Score
quanjuying 54 F
6  Articles
i usually drive ahearse."   8/3/2004

my nephew's bride-to-be and her father were in the limousine on their way to the church and wanted to speak to the driver.when the driver didn't hear them knock on the glass partition, the bride's father pushed it back and tapped the driver on the shoulder. heswerved wildly before coming to a halt. " sorry to startle you ." said the father. " is's i who should be sorry , " apologized ...

1 Comments, 247 Views, 24 Votes ,4.38 Score
Marriage Crisis   7/3/2004

It’s time to get married and the wedding bells are ringing ‒ the rings are ready but your not? The groom walks to the alter and impatiently waits for his bride but meanwhile his eye catches several beauties in the room. <br> The bride walks down the aisle smiling glade to meet the groom but as she moves forward her eyes catch the sight of two of her ex ‒ ...

1 Comments, 174 Views, 36 Votes ,0.39 Score
Ohhhhh Realllllly   4/3/2004

If one must tell a bad joke, please use your grammar and spell check options! This is how “Lawyer” is spelled not “Laywer”. Also, despite all the bad press that Priests have received lately the bad ones as well as the good ones are very educated men and would never say “Do you think we have got time”.

2 Comments, 259 Views, 30 Votes
The correct spelling   2/3/2004

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more." ...

1 Comments, 78 Views, 258 Votes ,8.06 Score
The businessman and the blonde   2/3/2004

One day a blonde was sitting on a plane next to one of those smart businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway. He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa." She said no again, and tried to fall asleep. The man begged and said, "I'll ...

1 Comments, 90 Views, 288 Votes ,7.61 Score
He was the best...   2/3/2004

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, ...

1 Comments, 131 Views, 131 Votes ,8.34 Score
He was good...   2/3/2004

Four men went to play golf. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him." The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and ...

3 Comments, 810 Views, 114 Votes ,7.88 Score
Sex   2/3/2004

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply! Something good will happen to you. get ready for the biggest stock of your life.

1 Comments, 307 Views, 70 Votes ,5.08 Score
Duranie18 28 F
3  Articles
How to Drive Other People Insane   1/3/2004

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. <br> 2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) <br> 3) Insist that your e mail address be: 'FriendFinder' or 'FriendFinder' <br> 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. ...

1 Comments, 170 Views, 83 Votes ,6.37 Score
Quarter,Quarter,Dollar!   29/2/2004

There is a man who is going to get married for the first time.He goes to see a doctor to get advice on what he should do with his wife on their first night together.The doctor tells him, "I want you to take a quarter and put it in your right hand and then bump your right hip against it several times."The man goes home and does what the doctor says.Next day doctor tells the man, "Now, I want ...

1 Comments, 197 Views, 135 Votes ,3.62 Score
I need a Push!   29/2/2004

There is a man who lives in a farmhouse and one night while he and his wife are asleep, he hears a knock on the door.He gets up and goes to the door.Outside there is a older man, very drunk, standing there.The farmer ask's the man, "can I help you?" and the drunk man say's"I need a push." The farmer tells him, "Oh, you are just drunk, why don't you go home and sleep it off."The man then ...

1 Comments, 159 Views, 31 Votes ,5.83 Score
I'm so sweet   28/2/2004

A man and his wife fought, and the man ask his wife to pack all her belongings and leave the house before he comes back from work.The woman was so disturbed so she had a plan, about 20 minutes for the man to return from work, the woman went to bath without wearing anything, she lied on the bed with her legs opened.The man was so angry to here that his wife is still in the house, but when he ...

2 Comments, 247 Views, 38 Votes
Khat boy   27/2/2004

There was this young Kenyan young man who had been chewing miraa(kHAT)all day long with friends.After the khat was over he decided to go home.He was so tired that on reaching his house he changed to his pyjamas didn't even put on the light.The khat had made so high that instead of throwing the khat outside the house he removed it from his mouth and put it in the bed and threw himselt ...

1 Comments, 168 Views, 22 Votes
Ravi4uonly 33 M
3  Articles
jokes   25/2/2004

Prof. Bihari Inside the Class : * Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. * Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in. * Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half. * Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor * You, meet me behind the class. ( meaning AFTER the class ..) * Both of u three, get out of the class. * ...

1 Comments, 150 Views, 27 Votes ,0.51 Score
Oh, GOD, I'm coming!   25/2/2004

John was in school when one day his teacher touching on spritual topic. Teacher said : "When we die on day, our soul will come out from our head and fly towards GOD in heaven." John protest and said : "That's not true, teacher !" The teacher is very angry and ask : "Why are you say so ?!" John said seriously : "Because I witnessed it ! Every night, when both mum's legs are high with the ...

1 Comments, 211 Views, 62 Votes ,5.99 Score
AmericanCyrano 58 M
7  Articles
Playing doctor   24/2/2004

A little boy comes up to a little girl on the playground and says he wants to show her something. They go behind the playground and he drops his pants. <br> Pointing proudly he announces, "I have one of these, and you don't!" <br> The little girl lifts her skirt and says "I have one of these. And when I get older I can get as many of those as I want with it."

1 Comments, 253 Views, 34 Votes ,5.40 Score
Happyboy1966 47 M
4  Articles
Smart   23/2/2004

A boy at school was selling smart pills for a dollar a piece. Another boy bought one but ot didn't seem to have any effect. He then bought another one and then another. Finally he said, " These smart pills don't work. Besides, they taste like rabbit droppings" The first boy said, " You see, you're getting smarter all the time

1 Comments, 204 Views, 30 Votes ,4.71 Score
friends   23/2/2004

A husband came home early only to find that her wife is in bed with one of his friends. The husband gets the gun from his drawer and kills his friend. The wife approaches the husband and says " Dear, keep your cool, for if you continue to react like this, one day you are surely going to loose All your friends"

1 Comments, 142 Views, 48 Votes ,6.83 Score
DyslexicHeart 35 M
6  Articles
Insect School...   23/2/2004

A friendly grasshopper applied for a job as a crossing guard at a flying insect school. He got an interview, and went in to meet the superintendent, a stern bee. <br> "Your responsibilities on this job", the bee said, "include making sure the little flies get to school in the morning, and back to the bus in the afternoon. You must also watch them on the playground, and keep track ...

1 Comments, 116 Views, 22 Votes ,1.69 Score
DyslexicHeart 35 M
6  Articles
Tattoo Parlor   23/2/2004

A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the owner if he could get a special tattoo with the words "yes" and "no", on his manhood. The owner agreed and the tattooing was underway. <br> When the job was complete, the man thought his new tattoo looked great and he paid for the service. <br> That night when the man went home he approached his wife in their bedroom. ...

1 Comments, 133 Views, 42 Votes ,7.16 Score
DyslexicHeart 35 M
6  Articles
A bit naughty....   23/2/2004

[Author's note: I made this one myself. And the Insect School one...] <br> So there's this guy and his wife, rite? And they love eachother very much and it's cute, and they have this wonderful marraige and an awesome honeymoon and the kinkiest relationship the world has ever seen. Over time, however, in their relationship, he begins to get suspicious... <br> He ...

1 Comments, 46 Views, 31 Votes
DyslexicHeart 35 M
6  Articles
Gimme a Brake...   23/2/2004

[Translated from French] (At least, I hope this is what the article said! My french isn't too good!) <br> An auto mechanic was working underneath a car one sunny afternoon, when the main brake line sprouted a leak and brake fluid sprayed out into his mouth. At first, he was sickened and worried it might be toxic, but he quickly realized that this brake fluid actually tasted ...

1 Comments, 50 Views, 25 Votes ,6.12 Score
joe111200469 33 M
1  Article
a man went to the   23/2/2004

a man went to the docters with a steering wheel around his penis and said doc this is driving my nuts

1 Comments, 183 Views, 15 Votes ,3.90 Score
potatoes   22/2/2004

i was in the grocery store the other day, in the produce dept i over heard two arab women talking and one says, this potatoe is like my husbands balls. the other one said " that big"? her friend says "no that dirty!

1 Comments, 212 Views, 12 Votes ,0.86 Score
liableluke 56 M
2  Articles
That's nothing, you should see what I have   22/2/2004

An Alabama sharecropper finally had a bumper crop one year. He had enough money to purchase 100 acres of land. One day he was sitting in his lawn chair when a truck pulled in the driveway. A texan fellow got out to ask directions. He asked what are you doing just sitting here. The Farmer answered that he was just admiring his 100 acres he had recently purchased. 100 acres said the ...

3 Comments, 219 Views, 23 Votes ,5.93 Score
The Miracle of Toilet Paper   22/2/2004

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER . . . <br> Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. <br> "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a ...

1 Comments, 274 Views, 32 Votes ,7.55 Score
Awake   21/2/2004

A husband and wife was on bed when the wife asked : "Darling, tell me in truth, how many women have you been slept before ? I won't angry." The husband said : "Only you, sweetheart ! With others, I was awake !"

1 Comments, 235 Views, 17 Votes ,5.11 Score
I Shot The Dog.   20/2/2004

One day a lady who was pregnant with triplets went to the bank. While she was there, there was a robbery. She got shot 3 times in the stomach. At the hospital, the doctor told her that she and her 3 unborn babies were fine. Several years later, she was making dinner when one of the little girls walked up. The little girl pulled on her mothers dress and said, "mommy, when i went pee-pee, a ...

1 Comments, 1185 Views, 28 Votes ,6.32 Score
Im having puppies!   20/2/2004

There are 3 pregnant women in the waiting room at the doctors office...a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all talking about what kind of babies they were going to have. The brunette said, "well, im going to have a girl because i was on top", then the redhead said, well im going to have a boy because i was on bottom. Then the blonde ran to the corner and started to cry. When the ...

1 Comments, 158 Views, 15 Votes ,5.12 Score
StrayCat2003100 49 M
5  Articles
Sex-Lax   18/2/2004

The gentleman walked briskly into the drug store, strode over to the pharmacist and said, "I would like a box of Sex-Lax." The pharmacist smiled and replied, "You must mean Ex-Lax." <br> "No, " the man responded, "I don't have any trouble going."

1 Comments, 178 Views, 23 Votes ,4.06 Score
StrayCat2003100 49 M
5  Articles
The future sex therapist   18/2/2004

The teacher asked the children in her class, what they want to be when they grow up. "I want to be an actress, " Susie says. <br> "Good girl, Susie." <br> "I want to be an astronaut, " Cliff says. <br> "Good boy, Cliff." <br> "And I want to be a sex therapist, " Little Johnny yells out. <br> "Would you please tell the class how you ...

1 Comments, 262 Views, 22 Votes ,5.77 Score
StrayCat2003100 49 M
5  Articles
The examination   18/2/2004

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old crone, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination" said the young girl. "Alright, " said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." <br> "No, not me, " said the girl. "It's my old aunt here." <br> "Very well, " said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

1 Comments, 241 Views, 73 Votes ,7.10 Score
StrayCat2003100 49 M
5  Articles
little baby boy and a little baby girl   18/2/2004

There was a little baby boy and a little baby girl. Then the baby boy goes "I'm a boy, you are a girl!" Then the girl goes "How do you know?" Then the little boy goes "I'll show you when the nurse leaves." So about 10 minutes later, the nurse leaves. So the boy lifts up his gown and goes......... "See I have Blue Booties, and you have Pink!

1 Comments, 271 Views, 20 Votes ,6.06 Score
WineLover33 43 M
1  Article
BANG!   10/2/2004

Superman was flying past when he looked down and saw Wonderwoman lying naked on a lawnchair sunbathing in her balcony. He thought: "hey, given all my speed, who's to know if i were to swoop down n "BANG!" her?" So that's what he did......swooop......BANG!...and off he flew at the speed of a bullet... Stunned, Wonderwoman: "OMG! what was THAT?!" Stunned, Invisibleman: "I dunno...I juz felt ...

1 Comments, 169 Views, 66 Votes ,6.46 Score
peace772 36 M
4  Articles
Wife and sex   6/2/2004

Two young friends decided to visit a brothel and have a nice time without the knoeledge of their wives. On getting there, the first one entered and after 15 minutes, he came out hissing and said "my wife is better than her". The second one followed suit and after just five minutes, he came out shaking his head and said "Yes it is true, your wife is better than her."

1 Comments, 59 Views, 131 Votes ,6.18 Score
This women gets in a car crash   3/2/2004

This women gets in a car crash and her husband goes to the hospital when he finds out. When he gets there the docter tells him, "I got some bad news, your wife has been severly damaged from the crash. She lost both arms and both legs. She can not move unless you help her. You need to feed her, clean her, dress her, move her, give her several pills daily, and worst of all, have to watch her ...

1 Comments, 206 Views, 75 Votes ,0.02 Score
cassiopeiam13 49 M
3  Articles

There's these two guys walking on the bridge, crossing the river.They stop to take a leak with their peckers hanging in the hand, peeing into the river.The one from Texas says:"hey, this river is cold", the other one from Arkansas:"yeah, it's cold, AND deep too!"

1 Comments, 224 Views, 41 Votes ,1.43 Score
what do you get?   30/1/2004

what do you get when you put a bulldog and a shitsui daog together? <br> ANSWER: BULLSHIT

1 Comments, 139 Views, 37 Votes
sad233 32 M
2  Articles
Strong Medicine for the Nun   25/1/2004

Pat is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. <br> While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, a nun comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard. <br> Pat goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor: "I just saw a nun leaving who looked absolutely terrible. I have never seen a woman look worse."

1 Comments, 184 Views, 70 Votes
sad233 32 M
2  Articles
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:   25/1/2004

Caution! I stop for gnomes, elves, pixies, unicorns, leprechauns, faeries, dragons, and other mystical creatures only I can see.

1 Comments, 124 Views, 75 Votes ,1.79 Score
the salesman   24/1/2004

A woman walks into a clothing store, as she's looking around a salesman comes up to her and asks if she needs help. The woman asks him "which do you think would be better, a sweater or a windbreaker?" "Well, " says the salesman "that all depends on weather you're gonna sweat or break wind...."

1 Comments, 122 Views, 49 Votes ,2.55 Score
superbowl25 31 M
2  Articles
"Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al Yankovic   23/1/2004

Though this is technically not a joke, I thought it would be appropriate to put the lyrics to this song here, since I found it really funny. <br> "Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al Yankovic <br> I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure baby, you're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrical, and your ...

1 Comments, 121 Views, 44 Votes ,4.72 Score
kids these days   22/1/2004

what is it with kids these days?, cut all their hair off, have their eyebrows, nose, tongue, ecetera pierced with a piece of metal in it?, tattoos, are they just trying to go along with the crowd?, be cool?, are they all rock star wannabes?, well at least rock stars let their hair grow, i have a friend who would sell the farm for hair, guess i am just getting old, i still listen to their ...

1 Comments, 242 Views, 49 Votes
Mushroom Fun   20/1/2004


1 Comments, 33 Views, 50 Votes ,4.23 Score
WHY   18/1/2004

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a drive way?

1 Comments, 196 Views, 41 Votes ,3.78 Score
peace772 36 M
4  Articles
Priest, police and holy ghost   18/1/2004

There was a priest who, any time he comes across Police checpoints in his small volkswagen carat night and was asked "who are you with in your vehicle, he replies "Oh, I am with angel Gabriel, Angel Michael, Mary Mother of God, holy spirit etc etc. The policemen, who care nothing but for bribe from the priest, get angry everytime until one night when one of them, anxious to get something ...

1 Comments, 115 Views, 94 Votes ,5.46 Score
Think about it   17/1/2004

Q. What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A. They can both smell it, but can't eat it.

1 Comments, 218 Views, 48 Votes ,5.45 Score
Police   17/1/2004

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies "Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...No"

1 Comments, 148 Views, 96 Votes ,5.88 Score
Another Blonde   17/1/2004

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to ...

1 Comments, 125 Views, 48 Votes ,4.96 Score
what they have in common   17/1/2004

What does driving in fog & muff diving have in common. Ans- You can't see the cunt in the front

1 Comments, 151 Views, 36 Votes ,0.82 Score
MANUEL2007 30 M
1  Article
CAN YOU LAUGH?   15/1/2004


1 Comments, 315 Views, 73 Votes
cuddles19462 67 M
2  Articles
Immigrants to America   9/1/2004

Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one say to the other. I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs. Odd, her companion replies, but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do. Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they walk toward the cart. Two dogs, please, she says. ...

1 Comments, 252 Views, 79 Votes ,7.78 Score
cuddles19462 67 M
2  Articles
Love and the Redneck   9/1/2004

A big old redneck walked into his local bar, with a big grin on his face. What are you so happy about? asked the bartender. Well I'll tell you. he replied. You know I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I , of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to cut a long story ...

1 Comments, 159 Views, 79 Votes ,7.20 Score
sexyblonde273 38 F
3  Articles
a family of silence   8/1/2004

A guy had just bought his first motorcycle at a local dealership and before he left the salesman handed him a jar of vasoline and said before it starts raining you need to lube up your bike so it doesn't rust. He agreed and went to pick his girlfriend up from work..when he got there she asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner and meet her family. The guy agrees and they take ...

1 Comments, 323 Views, 87 Votes ,8.15 Score
sexyblonde273 38 F
3  Articles
blonde joke for ya..   5/1/2004

Q. How are blondes and turtles alike? <br> A. Once their on their backs they are screwed.

1 Comments, 202 Views, 83 Votes ,6.03 Score
cutiepie198023 33 F
7  Articles
Priceless   4/1/2004

A friend of mine in the Air Force sent this to me: <br> Plane ticket to Jacobabad, Pakistan.........(Free for Military Personnel) <br> Pack of cigarettes...........................$3.45 <br> Magazine to help pass the time...............$4.99 <br> Bottle of aspirin to get over the jet lag.....$3.95 <br> Pack of pens ...

1 Comments, 243 Views, 66 Votes ,1.15 Score
cutiepie198023 33 F
7  Articles
Annual Check-up   4/1/2004

This was sent to me by a friend: <br> An 85-year old man is having his annual check-up. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling. <br> The old man says, "I've got an 18 year old bride who's pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" <br> The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an ...

1 Comments, 245 Views, 229 Votes ,8.24 Score
no charge   3/1/2004

one day electron went to the wine bar and buyed one bottle wine. but it didnt pay money for the bottle. do you know what is the reason? answer below <br> because electron has no charge

2 Comments, 288 Views, 45 Votes ,0.10 Score
conversation   3/1/2004

father to son : at your age nehru was a gold medalist son to father : at your age he was the prime-minister of india

1 Comments, 160 Views, 33 Votes ,2.14 Score
cutiepie198023 33 F
7  Articles
The Kid and The Cop   1/1/2004

This joke was sent to me by my best friend the other day. <br> On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid replies, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop ...

1 Comments, 172 Views, 200 Votes ,8.42 Score
A Salesman's Dillemma   21/12/2003

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?" <br> The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to ...

1 Comments, 229 Views, 165 Votes ,6.88 Score
Tyson One Liners   21/12/2003

Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! <br> Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two! <br> Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS. <br> For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in ...

1 Comments, 296 Views, 41 Votes ,2.06 Score
What God Told The Businessman   21/12/2003

A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe. <br> When he had finished, the priest said, Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your ...

1 Comments, 283 Views, 252 Votes ,6.62 Score
What's time ;-))))   17/12/2003

Do u know what's time is it when an elephant sit on your watch???? It's time to buy a new one LOL

1 Comments, 203 Views, 35 Votes ,1.04 Score
dr_wahdan2 44 M
44  Articles
nice to be one at f.finder   15/12/2003

Dear Friendfinder. Thank u so much for this program. i was first here 3 years ago. i did not believe in love, and was on friendfinder just to find friends to share stories. But i found somebody from friendfinder. we are from very different backgrounds: I'm asian and he is german. But after a long time we met in my country and created some very beautiful memories. we had 3-year love ...

1 Comments, 159 Views, 51 Votes ,6.06 Score
flippinĀ“pages   15/12/2003

There was this married couple, and so everytime when they go to bed the man had to read his novel atleast a page.So this time around the mad read his novel but it took him too long to turn the page until his wife asked him, Why r u taking too long to turn over the page today?`And the man answered i need to wet my finger for me to be able to turn the page and so he sticked the finger in his ...

1 Comments, 284 Views, 46 Votes
International relations   15/12/2003

This is a transcript of a radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian Authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. <br> Canadians: Please divert your course fifteen degrees to the south to avoid a collision. <br> Americans: Recommend you divert your course fifteen degrees to the north to avoid a collision. <br> Canadians: Negative. You will have ...

2 Comments, 235 Views, 254 Votes ,8.70 Score
how many animals??????   11/12/2003

Q- How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? <br> A- 10 little piggys (toes), 2 calves, an ass, a beaver and a fish no one can seem to find.

1 Comments, 524 Views, 61 Votes ,5.98 Score
SillyGalRed 40 F
1  Article
Ouch!   10/12/2003

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!" ...

3 Comments, 181 Views, 293 Votes ,7.03 Score
A Touching Letter.   10/12/2003

A Touching Letter Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all human kind. Read it and forward it to all those who could use a lift. It's a heartwarming story <br> Dear Safety Harbor Middle ...

1 Comments, 193 Views, 63 Votes ,7.37 Score
Grat Uncle George.   10/12/2003

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. <br> They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose -- how to handle that great-uncle George, who was executed in the electric ...

1 Comments, 144 Views, 39 Votes ,4.78 Score
Superman   10/12/2003

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window." <br> The ...

1 Comments, 233 Views, 169 Votes ,6.13 Score
Senile   9/12/2003

An old man wen in to the doctor's one day for one a checkup. At the checkup, the doctor asked the man the routine questions and then asked if anything interesting had been happening. The old man replied, "Actually, yes. Every time I go into the bathroom, God turns the light on for me, and when I leave, he turns it back off". The doctor was puzzled and decided to ask the old man's wife if ...

1 Comments, 146 Views, 29 Votes ,4.74 Score
TTCT50 37 M
1  Article
What do you call a smart blonde   8/12/2003

?What do you call a smart blonde? answer= A Golden retriever

1 Comments, 126 Views, 73 Votes ,5.53 Score