|
JOKES ARE LAME ON FF 3/2/2008
HERES A JOKE FOR ALL FF PEEPS DONT TELL ANY JOKES AT ALL HAHHAHHA
  PFFFFTTTT NONE OF THESES JOKES ARE FUNNY WOULD PUT ANYONE
TO SLEEP OR BORED THEM TO DEATH LMAO
1 Comments, 35 Views,
3 Votes
|
|
MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION 2/24/2008
While walking down the street one day a Minister is tragically
hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven, " says St. Peter. "Before
you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see
a high official around these parts, you see, so we're
not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
|
|
Ndali 2/19/2008
As i was walking in town monday morning, i saw a girl who looks
precisely like me. i thought of "what if that is me?"
you know what happened? i called her.Ndali! she stared
at me and said "Ow sorry I'm more beautiful "
0 Comments, 22 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
|
advising a fool 2/19/2008
Advise to a fool goes in one ear and out the other and ability
is useless unless its used.
0 Comments, 15 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Sunday school 1/11/2008
A young boy was sitting in his sunday school class when the
teacher asked him "when you die what part of you goes
to heaven first"? the young boy pondered for a minute
then said confidently "Your Feet!" The Teacher
puzzled replies " how do you figuire that when you
die your feet go to heaven first?The Young boy states"The
other day I was walking past my Mom and Dads bedroom, I looked
in and saw ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
bmw engineer 12/6/2007
An engineer, of the BMW Motorrad Corporation died and went
to heaven.
At the gates St. Peter told him, "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorbikes have changed the world,
your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven".
The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said,
"I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took
him to the Throne ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Novice skier 11/14/2007
One day a novice skier went up a mountain that any beginner
should have avoided. No one would have blamed her if she
stayed behind. At 12 below zero, even Frosty the Snowman
would have opted for a warm fire. Hardly a day for snow skiing,
but her husband insisted. So she went.
While waiting in the lift line, she realized she was in dire
need of a restroom. Assured there was a ...
2 Comments, 47 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Murphy's Addendum 10/17/2007
Subject: Murphy's Lesser-known Dictums
1.. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
2.. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3.. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4.. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5.. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
"In-Laws " 8/11/2007
Me and my second wife were driving down a country road
one day not saying a word after an earlier ding buster of
a battle we'd had and neither of us wanted to to give
it up.
As we passed a barnyard of mules and pigs my wife sarcastically
asked me, "Relatives of yours are they?"
"That's right Miss Tennessee! They're
my in-laws." ...
6 Comments, 116 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
|
|
Monkey wrench one liner ! 8/11/2007
Your face reminds me of a monkey wrench, every time I
think of it, my nuts tighten up....
1 Comments, 43 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
" Sweet Thang !" 8/6/2007
A young girl of 13 was hearing a lot of
new words pertaining to sex at school that she didn't
understand at all. She decided to ask her divorced, beautiful 30 year old blonde
headed mom about what she was hearing. The told her mom the at school
were saying things about going down on one another and that she didn't understand it at
all but wanted to. So ...
1 Comments, 110 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
|
|
mother supireror 7/19/2007
a wee nun walks in to a pub asks the bar man , for a gin an tonic,
she knocks it back , she asks the barman for a double gin
an tonic knocks that back , after the 9th gin an tonic , the
barman says why are you drinking so much ? she replies its
for the mother superors constapation , i dont understand
how will that help her constapation/ says the barman because
when she sees me shell shit herself.
1 Comments, 96 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
" The drunk and the confessional box " 7/18/2007
A drunk man staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders
over to the confessional box. He opens the door, sits down
and says nothing.
The bewildered priest waits for a few minutes, allowing the drunken man some time to collect
his thoughts.
Growing impatient, the priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the ...
7 Comments, 128 Views,
15 Votes
,3.90 Score
|
|
OOPS! Correction 7/15/2007
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole,
looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're
supposed to find the height of the flagpole, " said
Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from
her pocket, took a measurement and announced, ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
Dumb Blonde! 7/15/2007
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're
supposed to find the height of the flagpole, " said
Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from
her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen
feet, six inches, " and walked away.
Junior shook his head ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Not So Dumb Blonde 7/15/2007
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand
dollars ($20, 000) on a single roll of the dice. She said,
"I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice
and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a ...
1 Comments, 72 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
|
|
People need to "Think" before they open their mouth 7/5/2007
While on a trip in Egypt at the pyramids:
A friend of mine asked the guide " How many undiscovered
tombs are there? "
The guide thought for a moment and said " I guess when
they find them all you'll know."
This is a true story..
Sol 
1 Comments, 38 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
Pick up The PHONE! 6/26/2007
Theres a little boy answering a phone call at home.the phone
call comes from a salesman, the conversation as the bellows:
Salesman :" hello...is your mothere in? " Little boy:" nope" Salesman :" is your father home? " Little boy:" Nope!" Salesman :" is there somebody else with you at home?"
Little boy:"Yes! my cousins! Salesman :" Can I talk to your cousins? " Little boy:" ok..( ...
1 Comments, 53 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Men with beards are smelly 6/8/2007
Men with beards are smelly, scruffy and not to be trusted,
says a poll of 2, 000 women. They also reckon whiskers make
a fella look older and lazy.
Eight out of 10 women said bearded blokes
were a complete turn-off.
Only seven per cent would consider kissing
a fella with facial hair.
One in five said the clean-cut look ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
7 Votes
|
|
The Answering Machine 6/5/2007
Phone ringing... "hello, you calling THE BEST RESTAURANT! if you
need some information, press 1.if you want delivery, press
2, if you have complaint, press 3, if you want to leave
a message, wait after bib...bib...! if you are a Debt Collector, just
hang on the phone! "
1 Comments, 45 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
|
|
Unforgetable Date! 5/28/2007
Robert would like to make his first date full of memories.so, he
takes her date to a good fancy italian restaurant. After finished with the best wine together, robert read
the menu list book & call the waiter.
ROBERT : " hello..! I order this GIUSEPPE SPOMDALUCCI
for 2 person, please? make it special would be great! "
THE WAITER: " sorry Sir..., Its our Manager Names ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
|
|
Catholic Girls 5/3/2007
CATHOLIC GIRLS
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic schoolgirls and
they all perished.
They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you
ever had any contact with a male organ?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched
the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "Okay, dip ...
1 Comments, 75 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
|
|
the worst life... 5/2/2007
Do you know what has the worst life?
An egg....it gets fried once...laid once...and the only
one who'll sit on his face is his mother.
1 Comments, 27 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
|
|
Irish Airlne 4/26/2007
Paddy spent 3 days trying to book a flight on cunnylingus--
2 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,1.16 Score
|
|
The Train Ticket 4/20/2007
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the Super
Bowl.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch
as the three women buy just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one
ticket?" asks one of the men.
"Watch and learn, " answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
|
|
GIRLS AND MAGIC 4/13/2007
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water,
bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard!
2 Comments, 52 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
|
|
Michael Jackson Jokes 4/10/2007
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company? A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
1 Comments, 25 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
Skinny Dipping 4/4/2007
An elderly man in Hervey Bay had owned a large property for
several years. He had a dam in the next paddock fixed up with nice picnic
tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and avocado trees.
The dam was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when
it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam as
he hadn't been there for a while to look it over. He ...
1 Comments, 40 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
|
|
FUNNY FUNNY... 3/23/2007
Paddy was at a Disco.He asks a girl''How about
a quickie?''She replies''Im on my menstrual
cycle.''Great says Paddy i'm on my scooter
, I'll follow you home''.
1 Comments, 82 Views,
11 Votes
,4.29 Score
|
|
POSTIE POSTIE........... 3/23/2007
I wanted to send you something beautiful, kind, attractive, funny
and sexy.But the postman told me to get the stamp off my arse
and get the f!!!! out the postbox.
2 Comments, 58 Views,
7 Votes
,0.24 Score
|
