|
Lost hunters 7/8/2009
Two friends were out hunting in the woods and got lost.
'Shoot, ' said the first, ' and maybe it will
help someone to find us.'
The second one followed this advice, but nothing happened.
'Shoot again, ' said the first.
Another shot, still no reaction.
'Shoot yet again, ' recommended the first.
'I'm sorry, ' responded his friend, 'I'm
out of arrows.'
1 Comments, 214 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
A Palm Reader 3/31/2009
A Gypsy palm reader told a 'You will be poor until
you are forty.'
<br>
'And then what?' asked the expectantly.
<br>
<br>
'Nothing, ' said the fortune teller. 'By
that that time you will be used to it.'
0 Comments, 317 Views,
12 Votes
,2.80 Score
|
|
Marylou The 1/25/2009
A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when
his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with
a frying pan. "What was that for?" he asks. "That was
for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name
Marylou written on it, " she replies. "Two weeks ago when I went to races, Marylou was the
name of the horses I bet on, "he explain...She looks
satisfied, apologizes, ...
2 Comments, 120 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
sleeping pills 1/25/2009
my mother is having a terrible headache she's been
tryin to tolerate the pain.. until such time she cant bear
it anymore.. she went to the medicine cabinet and slowly opening it..
i asked her" mum, why do you have to open the cabinet
slowly?" and she answered, " sshhh i dont wanna wake up the sleeping
pills inside our medicine cabinet!" ggrrrrr.
2 Comments, 72 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
|
|
No offense 11/12/2008
Culture and meaning
A while ago, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give
your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage
in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure...
In Africa most didn't know what "food"
meant.
In Eastern Europe most didn't know what "honest"
meant.
...
1 Comments, 62 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
JOKES ARE LAME ON FF 10/2/2008
HERES A JOKE FOR ALL FF PEEPS DONT TELL ANY JOKES AT ALL HAHHAHHA
  PFFFFTTTT NONE OF THESES JOKES ARE FUNNY WOULD PUT ANYONE
TO SLEEP OR BORED THEM TO DEATH LMAO
1 Comments, 35 Views,
3 Votes
|
|
Concerned neighbour 8/31/2008
I saw six guys kicking the sh*t out of this other guy outside
my house. I went outside and the lady next door asked if I
was gonna help ? I said no, six should be enough.
0 Comments, 49 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
Age Difference 8/6/2008
What would you consider to be a decent age difference between
man and woman?
Is it okay if she is twenty years
younger?
Is it okay if he is 20 years younger?
Or do you think that age does not matter?
1 Comments, 42 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
|
|
MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION 7/21/2008
While walking down the street one day a Minister is tragically
hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven, " says St. Peter. "Before
you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see
a high official around these parts, you see, so we're
not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
|
|
Why?????? 6/30/2008
My Childhood friend name Conrado Domingo? He ask his Father Why????? Why Dad, why did you name me Conrado
Domingo? Now my friends call me "CONDOM"
 ...
1 Comments, 64 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
|
|
A Dry Town 6/16/2008
In a small midwestern conservative town, there wasn't
a place to get a drink for miles around, so a local entrepreneur
saw an opportunity: He started to build a tavern.
Liking a "dry" town, the local church started
a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions
and prayers. The businessman was polite when congregants
came to protest, but work continued on the tavern.
...
0 Comments, 48 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
" The drunk and the confessional box " 6/5/2008
A drunk man staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders
over to the confessional box. He opens the door, sits down
and says nothing.
The bewildered priest waits for a few minutes, allowing the drunken man some time to collect
his thoughts.
Growing impatient, the priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the ...
7 Comments, 128 Views,
15 Votes
,3.90 Score
|
|
" Sweet Thang !" 6/5/2008
A young girl of 13 was hearing a lot of
new words pertaining to sex at school that she didn't
understand at all. She decided to ask her divorced, beautiful 30 year old blonde
headed mom about what she was hearing. The told her mom the at school
were saying things about going down on one another and that she didn't understand it at
all but wanted to. So ...
1 Comments, 110 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
|
|
Monkey wrench one liner ! 6/5/2008
Your face reminds me of a monkey wrench, every time I
think of it, my nuts tighten up....
1 Comments, 43 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
"In-Laws " 6/5/2008
Me and my second wife were driving down a country road
one day not saying a word after an earlier ding buster of
a battle we'd had and neither of us wanted to to give
it up.
As we passed a barnyard of mules and pigs my wife sarcastically
asked me, "Relatives of yours are they?"
"That's right Miss Tennessee! They're
my in-laws." ...
6 Comments, 116 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
|
|
Dumb Blonde! 4/9/2008
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're
supposed to find the height of the flagpole, " said
Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from
her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen
feet, six inches, " and walked away.
Junior shook his head ...
2 Comments, 67 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Hymn's by word Association 4/4/2008
Hymn's By Word Association
A minister decided to do something a little different one
Sunday morning.
He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single
word and you are going to help me preach. "Whatever
single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes
to your mind.
The pastor shouted out, "Cross!" Immediately
the congregation started singing, in unison, ...
2 Comments, 50 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
Little Johnny 4/4/2008
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael,
if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude
and impolite. What about you Peter, how ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
5 Votes
,5.75 Score
|
|
Curious!! 4/3/2008
An exquisite painting entitled "Home for Lunch"
was on display in a Pennsylvania art gallery. It depicted
three very naked, very black men sitting on a park bench.
What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench
had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink
penis.
Two women were staring at the painting, trying to figure
it out. The artist noticed their ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
5 Votes
,5.75 Score
|
|
Not According To Dad! 4/3/2008
After Chelsea returned from a date, Hillary asked her if
she had a good time.
Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and thinks she's
in love.
Hillary said, 'You didn't have sex, did you'?
Chelsea said, 'Not according to Dad.'
0 Comments, 43 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
|
|
A Little Fellow Named Bubba 4/3/2008
There's a little fellow named Bubba who hangs out at
Martin's Convenience Store. Mr. Martin, the owner
hasn't figured out what Bubba's problem is, but
the boys 'round town like to tease him. They say he's
not hittin' on all eight... just not too bright.
As evidence, often they'll offer lil' Bubba his
choice between a nickel and a dime. Now Bubba, he always
takes the nickel... ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
|
The Bet 4/3/2008
Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58
PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at
the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering
a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to
jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll
jump?'
Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'
The blonde ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
whos smarter? 2/3/2008
Abdul kalaam And George Bush
<br>
<br>
<br>
While visiting India , George Bush is invited to tea
with Abdul Kalam.He asks President Abdul Kalam what his
leadership
philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with
intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions, "
says the
...
0 Comments, 216 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Novice skier 12/10/2007
One day a novice skier went up a mountain that any beginner
should have avoided. No one would have blamed her if she
stayed behind. At 12 below zero, even Frosty the Snowman
would have opted for a warm fire. Hardly a day for snow skiing,
but her husband insisted. So she went.
While waiting in the lift line, she realized she was in dire
need of a restroom. Assured there was a ...
2 Comments, 47 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Murphy's Addendum 11/17/2007
Subject: Murphy's Lesser-known Dictums
1.. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
2.. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3.. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4.. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
5.. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
Warning!!A very sly russian woman scam money from men! 11/7/2007
Warning!!A very sly russian woman scam money from men!
Details: A real person over 42 years old, have one 17 years
old , living in Omsk city in Russia, Claims to be
devorced, a chemical teacher in school, planning to obtain
Master degree in the future. And after years become a Chief
offical of administration office in Omsk city government.
Her father is Professor, sister live in USA, ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
|
Top Ten Reasons God Created Eve.... 10/30/2007
10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden,
because he wouldn't ask for directions.
<br>
9. God knew that, someday, Adam would need someone to hand
him the TV
remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't
want to see
what's ON TV. They want to see WHAT ELSE is on TV.)
<br>
8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's ...
1 Comments, 217 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
|
|
Women's problem starts with Men 9/14/2007
A very interesting theory:
MENtal illness
MENtal breakdown
MENstrual cramps
MENopause
Its true that all of womens problems start with MEN!
1 Comments, 178 Views,
46 Votes
,5.60 Score
|
|
ARE WOMEN EVIL BY NATURE? 9/14/2007
ARE WOMEN EVIL BY NATURE?
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet
rural pub...She gestured
alluringly to the bartender who approached her
immediately. She
seductively signaled that he should bring his
face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly ...
1 Comments, 132 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
|
|
3 Wishes 9/14/2007
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into
the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found
a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release
me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
> >The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to
your wishes - that whatever you wish ...
2 Comments, 283 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
|
|
