|
Tasteless In More Ways Than One!!! 7/25/2005
These two guy were walking down the stret and the first one
said "Watch out for the dogshit"
<br>
And the second guy says" That ain't dogshit"
<br>
"It is too" said the first guy.
<br>
So the first guy says "Look , smell it"
<br>
"Nope, that ain't shit"
<br>
" Go ahead and feel it"
<br>
"Nope it ain't shit"
<br>
...
0 Comments, 102 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
Brothel Joke!!! 7/24/2005
This guy walks into his local brothel and he pays the madame
$100 and she says "We got three ladies working tonight.
Just walk down the coridor and go through any door".
<br>
So the guy walks down the corridor and he sees a sign on the
first door saying "Good screw". Then he walks
to the second door and the sign on it says "Hot screw".
Then he walks to the third door where it ...
0 Comments, 115 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
Ray The Garbage Man's Birthday!!! 7/24/2005
It was Ray the Garbage Man's birthday and a pretty housewife
invited him in. Then she proceeded to have sex with him.
After a bout of lovemaking she said "Now Ray, here
is a cup of tea and then I want you to piss off"
<br>
Ray was dumfounded and he protested "But we have just
made beautiful love!!! What's the matter"
<br>
And she said "Well I was talking to my ...
0 Comments, 100 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
The Institution Of Mariage!!! 7/24/2005
The siad to his father "Dad, I'm getting
married!!!"
<br>
The father said ",
let me ask you a few questions"
<br>
"Sure dad" said the .
<br>
"You like eating steak don't you?" said
the father.
<br>
"Sure dad" said the .
<br>
"Could you eat steak once a week?"
<br>
"No problem Dad"
<br>
"Could you eat steak three times a ...
0 Comments, 104 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
Definition Of Love!!! 7/24/2005
"Love is a mental illness which is usually cured by
matrimony!!!"
0 Comments, 93 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
one more of St. Peter 7/24/2005
screamed S. Pedro - we will organize this in two lines. You,
men that they always dominated the women, make line of the
left side the men that they were always dominated by their
wives do line to the right. After a lot of confusion, finally
the men are in line. The men's line dominated by their
wives has more than 100 kilometers; The men's line
that were dominated their wives just has a ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
Short memory? 7/24/2005
Someone goes to the chemist and ask for Acetylsalicylic
Acid!
The pharmaceutical asked him: Why you don’t ask just for
an aspirin that is the same?
He replied: Because I easily forget the names.
0 Comments, 91 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
|
|
Why Aren?t You Running? 7/24/2005
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the
tiny town of Johnstown
got up early and went to the local church. Before the services
started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and
talking about their lives, their families, etc.Suddenly,
Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started
screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other
in a frantic effort ...
0 Comments, 86 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
|
|
History of Lawyer recent 1st prize in a competition 7/24/2005
This is the lawyers' of the year best history, of the
decade and probably of the
century.
A lawyer of Charlotte, North Carolina, bought a box of cigars
very rare and expensive, and then it hired an insurance
policy against fire and other risks. Inside of one month,
having smoked all his stock of those big cigars and still
without to have at least paid the first portion of the ...
1 Comments, 86 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Sip the Vodka! 7/24/2005
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could
hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “ When I am worried about getting
nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water
glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
<br>
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
...
0 Comments, 146 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
|
|
ENIGMA 7/24/2005
Do you know the difference betwin a pair of curtains and
a toilet paper? i will give the answer of this enigma in few days !
0 Comments, 95 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
Why is a 'Bra' Singular and 'Panties' Plural? 7/23/2005
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
<br>
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever
know?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
<br>
Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ...
0 Comments, 176 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Percription for Cyanide 7/23/2005
A lady tells the pharmacist that she needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need
cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, "Lord have
mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!
That's against the law!! Absolutely not!
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
|
|
[b]Drunk Decoy[/b] 7/23/2005
From the state where drinking and driving is considered
a sport, comes a true story from Houston, Texas.
Recently, a routine police patrol parked outside a local
neighborhood bar. Late in the evening, the officer noticed
a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely
walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes
with the officer quietly observing.
After ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
|
|
And Rooster Joke!!! 7/23/2005
Q: What's the difference between a and
a rooster?
<br>
Ans: The rooster says "cock a doodle do" and
the says "Any cock will do!!!"
0 Comments, 84 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
A Joke For The Finacially Embarrased Owing Money!!! 7/23/2005
When you owe the Bank $60, 000 and you can't pay then
you can't sleep at night.
<br>
However if you owe the bank $60, 000, 000 and you can't
pay it then the Bank can't sleep at night!!!
0 Comments, 101 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
take my yoke upon u 7/23/2005
a teacher asked three students to make sentences with objects
one brought a bag of salt and said the salt of the world the
other brought a cup of water and said water is life the third
threw an egg at the teacher and said btake my yolk upon u
0 Comments, 86 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
foolish men 7/23/2005
three men went to a wizard to make them rich he agreed but
on one condition that none should talk on their way home
on the wayone said remember they said we shouldnt talk the
second sai but u have talked the third then saed thank God
i did not talk.
0 Comments, 82 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
clergy 7/23/2005
a priest went to the grocery store to buy groceries he told
the lady i wantg to buy apples but b4 then quote a bible verse
with apples for me she said u are d apple of my eyes he left
he went to the baker and told him to do the same thing with
bread he said man shall not leave by bread alone he then bought
it he went to the market and saw a man sellins yams he told
him to qoute with yams he ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Little Johnny Vs Bill Gates!!! 7/22/2005
Bill Gates was addressing Little Johnny's 8th Grade
class and he said "Now boys and girls, I want you to
remember that when you grow up and enter the workforce that
flipping burgers is not Teenage Exploitation but a Golden
Opportunity For Advancement. Does anybody have any questions?"
<br>
Little Johnny's hand shot up straight away and he said
"Mr. Gates , what is the name of your ...
0 Comments, 148 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
|
|
Lawyer Joke 7/22/2005
I have discovered that contary to the Old Saying in a Court
Of Law "Bullstuff talks and money ALWAYS walks!!!"
0 Comments, 89 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
The Elephant books 7/22/2005
Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:
<br>
The French book - 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh
language and
culture
The Japanese book - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
The Greek book - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
Permissions and prohibitions 7/22/2005
In the US, everything that isn't prohibited by law
is permitted.
In Germany, everything that isn't permitted by law
is prohibited.
In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted
by law.
In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited
by law.
In Switzerland, everything that isn't prohibited
by law is obligatory.
0 Comments, 81 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Oil Change - Men vs Women (Read, it's true?) 7/21/2005
INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO CHANGE THE OIL IN YOUR CAR - FOR
WOMAN
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles
since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
MONEY SPENT >Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00 >TOTAL
$21.00 > >OIL CHANGE
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN
1) ...
1 Comments, 364 Views,
36 Votes
,5.48 Score
|
|
Blonde joke 7/16/2005
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney
World in Florida.
<br>
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway,
they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
<br>
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh
well!" and started driving back home.
<br>
---------------------------
0 Comments, 215 Views,
18 Votes
,2.85 Score
|
|
Another Joke For Our U.K. Readers!!! 7/16/2005
This drunk is walking down the street when he see a guy whose
car has broken down so he says' Wasammatter mate?"
And the guy says to him "Piston broke" And the
drunk says "Gee. So am I!!!"
0 Comments, 149 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
Two Blonde Jokes!!! 7/15/2005
Q: What do you call an intelligent blonde
<br>
Ans: A Labrador!!!
<br>
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
<br>
Ans: Shine a torch into her ear!!!
0 Comments, 105 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
Tarzan Joke (For Our U.K .Readers!!!) 7/14/2005
Tarzan and Jane just got married and she baked him a roast
chimp pie for lunch.The she gave him braised finch for dinner.
Then she kept on serving the same two dishes to him for a whole
week until he finally said "Jane, can't you cook
anything beside finch and chimps?"
0 Comments, 164 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
|
|
Married People 7/11/2005
Q: Why are married people like the blades of scissors?
<br>
Ans: Because they are joined in the middle, they move in
opposite directions and will cut anybody who tries to come
between them!!!
0 Comments, 187 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
The Shallowness Of Men!!! 7/10/2005
The Human Resources Manager had narrowed down the postion
of Branch Secretary down to four applicants but he couldn't
decide which one to choose. So he discussed the matter with
his collegue. He said 'All of these of these women are
extremely computer literate an are skilled in Word Processing
so which one do I choose?" And his collegue replies
"I would go for the one with the biggest ...
0 Comments, 234 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
