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TO LEARN GERMAN 7/2/2005
People now doesn't have laziness that does to give
up on speaking German.
The German language is relatively easy. All those that
know the derived languages of Latin and they are habituated
to conjugate some verbs can learn her quickly. That is what
German's teachers say soon in the first lesson.
First, we caught a book in German, in this case, a magnificent
volume, with layer ...
0 Comments, 81 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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little john 6/29/2005
every day morning teacher carol goes through the door of
the class and ask the : - good morning!!! she always
listen: -hi uuuuuuuuuuu!!! and every single day the answer
is the same. but there was a time that she asked them: -good
morning!! however she listen i!! and in the next day
she listen: -hi!! just it. then she realised little john
had missed that 2 classes.that was funny. each time ...
1 Comments, 313 Views,
16 Votes
,1.51 Score
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PRAY OF STRESSED PEOPLE 6/28/2005
Feel serenity to accept the things that I cannot change,
courage to change the things that I cannot accept, and wisdom
to hide those people's bodies to have to kill for they
be becoming full a lot the sack.
Also, help me to be careful with the calluses in that floor
today, because they can be directly connected to the sacks
that I will have to pull tomorrow.
Help me, always, to give ...
0 Comments, 103 Views,
6 Votes
,5.64 Score
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LAPTOPS 6/28/2005
Marisa asked Luís:
--What is leptospirose?
And Luís answered:
--A disease that attacks the users of laptops.
It is transmitted by the contact with the urine of the Mouse.
0 Comments, 149 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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are you a geek? 6/8/2005
if you can find 3 or more matches below,
then welcome to geekdom!
<br>
<br>
1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
<br>
2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL".
<br>
3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
<br>
4. You have called out someone's screen name while
making love to
your significant other.
<br> ...
1 Comments, 260 Views,
19 Votes
,4.57 Score
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The Doctor 6/5/2005
In the midst of a physical examination, the doctor ask his
patient to face to open window and stick out his tongue.
<br>
'what can you tell from that?' asked the patient.
<br>
'Nothing, ' said the doctor, 'but I don't
like my neighbours.'
1 Comments, 393 Views,
21 Votes
,2.63 Score
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Cowboy 5/2/2005
An old Montana cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.
As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to
him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a
real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life,
breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing
fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves,
cleaning my barn, fixing flats, ...
0 Comments, 2453 Views,
260 Votes
,5.68 Score
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last wishes 4/8/2005
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow Tillie, was finally
able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man
her late husband had been.
<br>
"Sidney thought of everything, " she told
them. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside,
and handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie, ' he
told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three
envelopes. After I am dead, please ...
0 Comments, 964 Views,
86 Votes
,6.13 Score
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The ink filled condom 4/4/2005
A young man desperate for sex goes in search for a woman at
a local nightclub.
After several failed chat up attempts and slaps to the face
for his direct approach, he finally meets with a woman who
agrees to have sex with him.
Upon reaching his flat they both tear at each others clothes
until they are naked, only barely reaching the bedroom.
She laid on his bed ready, willing and ...
1 Comments, 397 Views,
24 Votes
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riddles 3/27/2005
Try to figure out the sentence with the clues given.
For example: 18 =holes on a golf course would look like 18=
H. on a G. C.
<br>
1=W. on a U.
3=B.M. (s.h.t.r.)
5=D. in a Z. C.
7=W. of the W.
8=S. on a S. S.
9=P. in our S. S
13=S. in the A. F.
12= K. of the R.T.
12=S. in the Z.
32=D.F. in which W.F
40=D.and N. in the G. F.
54= C. in a D. (with J's)
64=S. ...
1 Comments, 184 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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Bear on the Roof 3/16/2005
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he
looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's
an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll
be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's
got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit
bull dog.
"What are you going to do, " the homeowner asks? ...
0 Comments, 693 Views,
65 Votes
,5.01 Score
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husband shop 3/11/2005
Recently a "Husband Shopping Centre" opened
in Booragoon, where women could go to choose a husband from
among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men
increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.
<br>
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor,
you HAD to choose a man from that floor; If you went up a floor,
you couldn't go back down except to ...
1 Comments, 2117 Views,
322 Votes
,8.38 Score
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Christian 3/3/2005
A religious man, ignoring a nagging conscience, went bear
hunting on the Sabbath even though he knew he was being disobedient
to a commandment.
<br>
He was feeling a little guilty about it as he entered the
woods.
<br>
Suddenly he heard a noise close by. Quickly he tried to raise
his rifle, alas, too late, for the huge grizzly bear was
upon him.
<br>
...
0 Comments, 897 Views,
94 Votes
,6.50 Score
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Porch???? 3/2/2005
Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money.
She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighbourhoods
around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman.
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told
Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for you.How would like
to paint the porch?"
"Sure that sounds great!"said Julie."Well, how
much do you want me to pay you?" asked the ...
0 Comments, 211 Views,
15 Votes
,5.12 Score
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A guys' job 2/16/2005
A guy sticks his location,
In a girl's destination,
To increase the population,
for the next generation,
Do you get my explanation,
<br>
Or do you need a demonstration??
<br>
<br>
E.U
0 Comments, 349 Views,
25 Votes
,3.13 Score
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Cupid Joke 2/13/2005
Q. If any willing gorgeous beauty encourages lots as seductively
coaxing how soon cound nakedness occur together? A. Before
nightfall if flirting goes right.
0 Comments, 311 Views,
14 Votes
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New Cowboy Boots 2/11/2005
Sam and Bessie Goldberg are senior citizens, and, Sam always
wanted an expensive pair of cowboy boots. Seeing some on
sale one day, he buys a pair and wears them home, asking Bessie,
"So, do you notice anything different about me?"
"What's different? It's the same shirt
you wore yesterday, and the same pants. What's different?"
Frustrated, Sam goes into the bathroom, undresses and
comes ...
0 Comments, 644 Views,
61 Votes
,4.96 Score
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Cupid Joke 2/9/2005
Q. How far would Cupid spit if himself knew of everything
happening today? A. It does not matter...
0 Comments, 301 Views,
15 Votes
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"Why Men Are Just Happier People" 2/1/2005
Why Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from
such simple
creatures?
<br>
<br>
1) Your last name stays put.
<br>
2) The garage is all yours.
<br>
3) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
<br>
4) Chocolate is just another snack.
<br>
5) You can be president.
<br>
6) You can never be pregnant. ...
0 Comments, 569 Views,
195 Votes
,8.22 Score
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goat thief 1/23/2005
a man of 45 stole a goat and while pulling it along with the
rope the owner came out and started shouting thief! thief!
but the thief when interrogated said" i stole but
his rope and unfortunately a goat is attached to it give
to ceaser what is his and so give this rope what belongs to
it" meaning the goat
0 Comments, 218 Views,
12 Votes
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A lesson in perception 1/22/2005
A grade school teacher is attempting to teach her students
basic subtraction, by asking the following question.
<br>
"Now class, 3 birds are sitting on a fence. A hunter
shoots one of the birds. How many are left?"
<br>
A young boy raises his hand and the teacher calls on him.
"None!" the boys cheerfully answers.
<br>
The teacher tells him his answer is ...
1 Comments, 1103 Views,
127 Votes
,7.33 Score
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rich man 1/15/2005
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his on a
trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his
how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and
nights on the farm of what
would be considered a very poor family.
<br>
On their return from their trip, the father asked his ,
"How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad"
"Did you see how poor people live?" the ...
1 Comments, 1149 Views,
174 Votes
,6.76 Score
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Lovestruck 1/15/2005
Q. As Valentine's Day nears what is the best way for
any attracted mature adults of opposite sex to exchange
alluring photographs? With or without autographs...
A. Only God above knows!
0 Comments, 211 Views,
11 Votes
,0.36 Score
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MINDS 1/9/2005
Galileo ====> Great mind
<br>
Einstein ====> Genius mind
<br>
Newton ====> Extraordinary mind
<br>
Bill Gates ====> Brillint mind
<br>
Bush ====> Never mind
0 Comments, 180 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
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laughter..the best medicine against heartbreaks 12/31/2004
Senior moments
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death
notice
in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner
were the
papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and
complained
bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea,
not
gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him
night and day so
of course I know he died of diarrhea, but ...
0 Comments, 301 Views,
21 Votes
,6.47 Score
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Two priests 12/29/2004
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were
determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything
that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought
some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses,
etc.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their
"tourist" garb. They were sitting on ...
0 Comments, 1206 Views,
161 Votes
,7.59 Score
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a dirty christmas poem 12/21/2004
u probably have already seen and heard this a million times
but for the people who have not here u go
<br>
<br>
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
<br>
The were both gone, and my wife was in heat
<br>
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
<br>
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
...
0 Comments, 205 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Nice Jokes 12/21/2004
*A girl says to her boyfriend, "One kiss and I'll
be yours forever."
_The guy says 'thanks for the warning'
<br>
*A Husband Was Asked: "Do you talk to your wife after
sex?"
_He replied: "Depends, If I Can find a Phone"
<br>
*Definition of a Gynaecologist: Someone who looks for
problems where?
_others look for pleasure!!!
<br>
*Man to wife on ...
0 Comments, 284 Views,
39 Votes
,2.83 Score
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Some more Xmas Jokes 12/18/2004
What did the breeder get when she crossed an Irish Setter
with a Pointer at Christmastime?
A "pointsetter"!
<br>
What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?
Merry Christmas to ewe!
<br>
What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
Season's Bleatings!
<br>
How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!
<br>
How do ...
0 Comments, 393 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents 12/18/2004
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event,
the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she
would
like to go out and make love for the first time.
<br>
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before,
so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps ...
0 Comments, 488 Views,
26 Votes
,5.83 Score
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