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nice to be one at f.finder 12/7/2006
Dear Friendfinder.
Thank u so much for this program. i was first here 3 years
ago. i did not believe in love, and was on friendfinder just
to find friends to share stories. But i found somebody from
friendfinder. we are from very different backgrounds:
I'm asian and he is german. But after a long time we met
in my country and created some very beautiful memories.
we had 3-year love ...
1 Comments, 159 Views,
49 Votes
,6.16 Score
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What God Told The Businessman 12/7/2006
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business
was failing, he had
put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody--
it was so bad he
was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went
to a priest and poured
out his story of tears and woe.
<br>
When he had finished, the priest said, Here's what
I want you to do: Put a
beach chair and your ...
1 Comments, 283 Views,
251 Votes
,6.64 Score
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Tyson One Liners 12/7/2006
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!
<br>
Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off,
he obviously
misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!
<br>
Tyson's favorite football team-the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.
<br>
For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants
it to be held in ...
1 Comments, 296 Views,
40 Votes
,2.04 Score
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blonde joke for ya.. 11/29/2006
Q. How are blondes and turtles alike?
<br>
A. Once their on their backs they are screwed.
1 Comments, 202 Views,
83 Votes
,6.03 Score
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a family of silence 11/29/2006
A guy had just bought his first motorcycle at a local dealership
and before he left the salesman handed him a jar of vasoline
and said before it starts raining you need to lube up your
bike so it doesn't rust. He agreed and went to pick his
girlfriend up from work..when he got there she asked him
if he wanted to come over for dinner and meet her family.
The guy agrees and they take ...
1 Comments, 323 Views,
87 Votes
,8.15 Score
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3 Women Taking a Stroll 11/29/2006
Three women were vacationing at a resort hotel and decided
to take a walk along the beach. Meanwhile, a man with a very
revealing bathing suit was laying on the beach reading
a newspaper. He was about fifteen minutes walking distance
from the hotel. By the time the women reached his location,
he had fallen asleep and the newspaper he was reading had
fallen onto his face. However, his ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
367 Votes
,4.76 Score
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Priest, police and holy ghost 11/29/2006
There was a priest who, any time he comes across Police checpoints
in his small volkswagen carat night and was asked "who
are you with in your vehicle, he replies "Oh, I am with
angel Gabriel, Angel Michael, Mary Mother of God, holy
spirit etc etc.
The policemen, who care nothing but for bribe from the priest,
get angry everytime until one night when one of them, anxious
to get something ...
1 Comments, 115 Views,
94 Votes
,5.46 Score
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"Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al Yankovic 11/29/2006
Though this is technically not a joke, I thought it would
be appropriate to put the lyrics to this song here, since
I found it really funny.
<br>
"Wanna B Ur Lovr" by Weird Al Yankovic
<br>
I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check
you out?
I like your skeletal structure baby, you're an ectomorph,
no doubt
Your face is real symmetrical, and your ...
1 Comments, 121 Views,
44 Votes
,4.72 Score
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What do you call a smart blonde 11/29/2006
?What do you call a smart blonde?
answer= A Golden retriever
1 Comments, 126 Views,
73 Votes
,5.53 Score
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cheating & heaven 8/30/2006
3 men died & went to heaven , st peter said to them that
before he could let them in , he had to ask them 2 questions
which would detirmine what car they drove in heaven !! he
asked the 1st man had he ever cheated on his wife & if
so , how many times ? the man said yes , about 9 or 10 times !!
st peter said right !! you get a used corolla !!! he then asked
the 2nd man the same questions & ...
1 Comments, 181 Views,
12 Votes
,3.68 Score
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Bar 8/7/2006
Yesterday i walked into a bar and said "ouch, that
hurt."
1 Comments, 394 Views,
15 Votes
,0.38 Score
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THE PRISONNERS (1) 7/31/2006
3 prisonners deciding to escape, but the camp have a alarm
sytem on the iron grillage, the first prisonner have a idea
it say to other "when the alarm ringing, we make the
cat meow and the warden don't shoot us ", the first
& the second prisonners trying and win to escaping
the third prisonner, gender of man like Goofy, try and make
ringing alarm, warden say "who's here?"
, and prisonner ...
0 Comments, 278 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Things Found Only in America 7/16/2006
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double ...
1 Comments, 224 Views,
17 Votes
,5.67 Score
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humor in the golden years 7/8/2006
An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together
in a small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife,
"Do you remember the first time we had sex together
over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you
leaned against the fence and I made love to you."
Yes, " she says, "I remember it well."
OK, " he says, "how about taking a stroll ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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snowmen and ladies :) 7/6/2006
What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies
?
Snowballs.
0 Comments, 150 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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Panda 7/2/2006
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.
He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the
panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey!
Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't
pay for the food."
The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda.
Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing
mammal of Asian ...
0 Comments, 263 Views,
19 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Musicals 5/20/2006
I was talking to my friend the other day and I said, "I
miss the old musicals on tv."
<br>
"They took 'em off for a reason", he said.
<br>
"Why's that?" I asked.
<br>
"Too much saz and violins", he replied.
1 Comments, 399 Views,
11 Votes
,0.18 Score
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:) 2/15/2006
have a greater need for speed than classroom computers
can deliver. Impatient to turn in his term paper, one restless
student kept clicking the "Print" command.
The printer started to churn out copy after copy of the 's
ten-page report. The topic? "Save Our Trees."
0 Comments, 263 Views,
13 Votes
,2.47 Score
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a ghost! 2/5/2006
a man was in hospital for stomach problems the medication
was causing him uncomfort which resulted in dioherea all
over the sheets so he panicked what to do with them, while
he was panicking a local drunk was walking roung the hospital
hiding from the police. the hospital patient decides to
chuck his sheets out the window, and just the drunks luck
the sheets fall on him he screams and ...
2 Comments, 275 Views,
12 Votes
,2.27 Score
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Chrysler car. 2/4/2006
Did you hear about the new Hemi??
It cost $52, 000 dollars and the sets give the driver a massage
as he drive thr car.
Now for a additional $50, 00 bucks, it will make you happy.
steve, adams friend.
3 Comments, 147 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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ITS RIGHT! 2/3/2006
docter say :" after i seen the result of your X-RAY, its
nothing to worry about.you will live until 90 years old"
<br>
the patient:"but docter i am 90 now"
<br>
docter :"see..! i have the right prediction about
it!"
0 Comments, 220 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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A Priority 1/7/2006
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf and
one remarked how for Christmas this year he'd love
to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without
an arguement, go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies
and play a round.
<br>
His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do
it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet
here early Christmas ...
0 Comments, 850 Views,
75 Votes
,5.28 Score
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Doctor, doctor... 11/26/2005
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at
the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St.
Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds
of ." St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped
thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter
tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless
families ...
2 Comments, 450 Views,
25 Votes
,5.23 Score
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A day at the zoo 11/15/2005
A man went to the zoo
<br>
when he got there he found that they only had one dog.
<br>
It was a shitzu.
1 Comments, 73 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Bullfight Buffet 11/12/2005
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards
he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty
of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge
plate, which the tourist eats with relish.
The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again
orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very
big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Genie and the Taliban 11/12/2005
Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are
out walking together one day. They come across a lantern
and a genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish. That's
three wishes total, " says the genie.
<br>
The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a
farmer, and my will also farm. I want the land to be forever
fertile in Canada." <br>
...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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LOSE IT.. 10/25/2005
father :"where did u find this US$100?"
<br>
:"i found it close to post office dad"
<br>
father :"are u sure some one lose this money? "
<br>
:"yes dad, i am sure.i have 30 minutes seeing
that man looking for this money"
0 Comments, 206 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
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Losing Your Virginity!!! 10/23/2005
This 16 year old girl came home all excitd and she said to
her big sister Daisy Mae' I lost my virginity at school
today Daisy!!!"
<br>
Daisy Said "That's great little sister. Did
you enjoy it"
<br>
And her sister said "It really great but my ass still
hurts!!!"
1 Comments, 238 Views,
9 Votes
,0.43 Score
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I DONT KNOW.. 10/10/2005
MOSES SAID :"MY ALWAYS ASKING SOME MONEY TO ME
& BUY SOMETHING USELESS"
<br>
JOSEF SAID :"WHAT HE WANT TO BUY EXACTLY?"
<br>
MOSES SAID :"I DONT KNOW "
<br>
JOSEF SAID :"WHY U DONT KNOW ?"
<br>
MOSES SAID :"BECAUSE I NEVER GIVE HIM MONEY"..
1 Comments, 185 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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WAITING 10/10/2005
JEFFRI SAID :"HAY LISA, I WANT TO VISIT YOU THIS EVENING, DOES
YOUR MOTHER WAITING FOR ME TOO?"
<br>
LISA :" YES SHE IS""
JEFFRI :" GREAT SO.BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MOTHER
ALSO WAITING FOR ME ?"
<br>
LISA :" BECAUSE SHE WILL GO OUT THEN"
1 Comments, 192 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
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