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Flying lesson 11/25/2005
John had always wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter.
One day he went down to the local airfield and hired an instructor.
His name was Joe. Joe took the helicopter up to 500 feet with
John and asked John how he was doing. "I'm doing
fine" said John. So Joe took the helicopter up to 1000
feet and asked John again. John gave the same reply. The
day finally came for John to fly solo. "Okay, ...
0 Comments, 92 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Sermon 11/24/2005
Preacher giving a sermon:
<br>
Today we're gonna talk about the Garden of Eden. You
know Adam was the luckiest man that ever lived. He didn't
have a mother-in-law.
0 Comments, 80 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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snowmen and ladies :) 11/23/2005
What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies
?
Snowballs.
0 Comments, 150 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
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Joke 11/23/2005
The three wise men arrived to visit the lying in the
manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and
bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he shouted.
Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better
than Clyde!"
0 Comments, 106 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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The bunny and the snake 11/23/2005
Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived a blind
little bunny and a blind little snake.
<br>
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the
snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny
tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked
the snake about quite a bit.
<br>
"Oh, my, " said the bunny, "I'm terribly
sorry. I ...
0 Comments, 118 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Bills 11/23/2005
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their con-
versation was constantly interrupted by people describing
their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the
lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking
you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them, " replied the lawyer, "and
then I ...
0 Comments, 88 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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Surgery 11/23/2005
A woman is having minor surgery. After the surgery, she
confronts the doctor and says, "Doctor, I don't
like that 4 letter word you used during surgery."
"What 4 letter word was that?" says the doctor.
She replies, "Oops!"
0 Comments, 93 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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food :) chocolate... 11/23/2005
An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other.
The young man had noticed that the older man always seemed
to have a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man loved peanuts.
<br>
One day while the older man was away from his desk the young
man couldn't resist and went to the old man's jar
and ate over half the peanuts.
<br>
When the old man returned the ...
0 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Fishing 11/21/2005
Two guys, Jim and Bob, go fishing on a boat and the fish are
hitting like crazy. Jim says, "We better mark this
spot so we know where to come next time." Good idea",
says Bob. Jim grabs something out of his tackle box and jumps
over the boat. "What in the heck are you doing, says
Bob?!" Jim says, "I'm gonna mark an X on
the bottom of the boat so we know where to come next time."
Bob says, ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Lawyer Joke 11/20/2005
A lawyer dies, and he's at the gates of heaven, where
an angel greets him,
<br>
"hello Mr. Smith, welcome to heaven, we've been
expecting you for some years now" <br>
Mr. Smith: why's that I was only 45 when I passed away
<br>
Angel: Yes, but based on the number of hours you've
billed to your , we calculated that you must be well
over 100 years old.
0 Comments, 102 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Just silly... 11/20/2005
what's the diference between sex and a hug?
<br>
If female, and you're reading on for the answer, please
reply to my ad! 
0 Comments, 100 Views,
0 Votes
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Blonde Joke 11/20/2005
What do intelligent blondes and the tooth fairy have in
common?
<br>
They're both imaginary.
0 Comments, 87 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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3 wishes 11/20/2005
A man walks into a bar, and puts a small box down on the bar.
The bartender asks what's inside the box, and so the
man shows him that it's a tiny little man playing the
piano. The bartender is amazed, and asks the man where he
found this. The man says that he found a genie in a bottle
and made a wish, and offers the bar tender an opportunity
to make a wish of the genie.
<br>
...
0 Comments, 102 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Movie Theatre Humour.... 11/20/2005
A rural farm boy takes his pet duck to the movies, but the
movie theater won't let the duck in, so the boy hides
the duck down his pants.
<br>
He finds a seat next to two older ladies.
<br>
The duck manages to squeeze it's head out through the
boy's zipper.
<br>
One old lady nudges the other and says "look at this,
I can't believe it", to which the other ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Blonde Joke 11/20/2005
Why'd the blonde bring an old car door with her into
the desert?
<br>
If it gets too hot, she'll roll the window down.
0 Comments, 85 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Blonde Joke 11/20/2005
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?
<br>
<br>
...Artificial Intelligence
0 Comments, 75 Views,
0 Votes
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10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty 11/18/2005
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves
a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Kemosabe Waters the Bushes 11/18/2005
One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding
when Lone Ranger jad to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over
to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs
over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten
by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to
do." So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor,
Lone Ranger has been bit by a ...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
0 Votes
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Red Sox Humor 11/18/2005
Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red Sox-Yankees
playoff series, when they see a foot sticking out of some
bushes. An inspection revealed a dead-drunk naked woman.
One man placed his Orioles baseball cap on her right breast.
The Red Sox fan placed his cap on her left breast, and the
Yankee fan put his over her crotch. They then called the
police.
The cop lifted up the ...
0 Comments, 59 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Top Reasons Eminem's Wife Filed for Divorce 11/18/2005
--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman"
she ever was.
--Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.
<br>
--Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.
<br>
--Sure, he talks and like a black man, but when he takes
down his pants...
<br>
--Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON.
<br>
--Overheard ...
0 Comments, 54 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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Famous People Say the Darndest Things 11/18/2005
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of
an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious
to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My,
what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette
<br>
"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people
don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, ...
0 Comments, 65 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Things Found Only in America 11/18/2005
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double ...
1 Comments, 224 Views,
17 Votes
,5.67 Score
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True Love 11/17/2005
She was just the bootlegger's but he loved
her still!
1 Comments, 90 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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i am so unlucky 11/16/2005
I am a college student from and now i am sophormore.from
the beginning of this summer holiday to nowi have not any
good luck .in the summer holiday , i lost 500yuanRMB, it
was part of my salary .i was a tutor at that time.A month ago, it
was my birthday , i held a party in my house , there were
many freinds and classmates came to my party . all of us had
to leave for school after the ...
0 Comments, 126 Views,
0 Votes
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DO YOU LOVE ME?? 11/16/2005
GIRL :"DO YOU LOVE ME?"
<br>
BOY :"YES MY DEAR"
<br>
GIRL :"WOULD YOU DIE FOR ME??"
<br>
BOY :"NO!, MINE IS UNDYING LOVE!"
0 Comments, 59 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty 11/12/2005
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves
a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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A day at the zoo 11/12/2005
A man went to the zoo
<br>
when he got there he found that they only had one dog.
<br>
It was a shitzu.
1 Comments, 73 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Bullfight Buffet 11/11/2005
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards
he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty
of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge
plate, which the tourist eats with relish.
The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again
orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very
big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Britney Spears 'n' Pepsi 11/11/2005
What does Britney Spears and pepsi have in common?
They both come with plastic jugs
0 Comments, 49 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton... 11/9/2005
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees
game. Before the game began a secret service man came up
to him and whispered in his ear.
Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out
on the field.
<br>
The secret service man came running up to him and said, "Mr.
President Sir, I think you misunderstood me; I said throw
out the first pitch
0 Comments, 60 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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