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little moth 12/16/2006
Little moth is sitting in the cupboard with his mom. ?Mom,
I want to go out.? ?You can?t, you mast sit in the cupboard
and eat the fur coat.? ?But I still want to go out.? ?You silly.If
you go out, then they will kill you.? ?No I don?t think so
because last time everybody were applauding.?
1 Comments, 160 Views,
9 Votes
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Elephant and ant 12/16/2006
Elephant and ant decided to change their eggs. Next day
they met and elephant said It wan?t so bad, I didn?t have
to do anything.? The ant said I was too really fun. But
they wanted to draw me out when we reached to the curve.?
1 Comments, 227 Views,
15 Votes
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fishing 12/16/2006
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up
north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn.
The wife liked to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours
of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although
she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided
to
take the boat. She rowed out a short distance,
anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along ...
1 Comments, 170 Views,
32 Votes
,5.87 Score
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Man and woman 12/16/2006
The man is running at home and :Wife!Our house is burning!What
we should do???Suddenly somebody say something:, ,Wardrobe!You
should go in wardrobe!??, ,But hwo is speakind?Wondering
the man.We the suits are speaking.??
1 Comments, 131 Views,
43 Votes
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Engineering vs Math Majors 12/16/2006
Engineering vs Math Majors
<br>
A math and engineering convention was being held. On the
train to the convention, there were both math majors and
engineering majors. Each of the math majors had his/her
own train ticket. But the Engineers had only ONE ticket
for all of them. The math majors started laughing and snickering.
The engineers ignored the laughter.
<br>
...
1 Comments, 148 Views,
38 Votes
,7.80 Score
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what is the mathematical equation for Engineer Vs. Executives? 12/16/2006
if you think there are difference between the Engineer
vs. executive. pls make an equation or postulates for that...
try to guess?//////
1 Comments, 130 Views,
22 Votes
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The traveller and the barn 12/16/2006
A young guy is travelling in the country side. Soon it wil
be gettting dark and he needs aplace to stay.Seeing only
farms around he decides to knock on one of their doors. The
traveller explains to the farmer "i require a place
to sleep for the night Can you help me?"
The farmer replies "I can only let you sleEp in the
barn" "that is fine" says the traveller.
So the farmer shows him the ...
1 Comments, 51 Views,
26 Votes
,6.69 Score
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The traveller and the barn 12/16/2006
A young guy is travelling in the country side. Soon it wil
be gettting dark and he needs aplace to stay.Seeing only
farms around he decides to knock on one of their doors. The
traveller explains to the farmer "i require a place
to sleep for the night Can you help me?"
1 Comments, 41 Views,
23 Votes
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Notes written by doctors on patient charts unedited 12/16/2006
These are a few I find funny
<br>
1-Patient has chest pain if she lies on herleft side for
over a year.
<br>
2-On the second day the knee was better, and on the third
day it disappeared completely
<br>
3-She has had no rigors or shaking chils, but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night!
<br>
4-The pelvic examination will be done ...
1 Comments, 245 Views,
35 Votes
,3.15 Score
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Italian Journey 12/15/2006
Italian Journey
"One day Ima go to No Fock, Virginia to a bigga hotel.
I go down to eat soma breakfast.
I tell the waitress I wanna two piss toast.
She branga me only onea piss, I tell her I wanna two piss,
she say go to the
toilet.
I say you no understand.
I wanna two piss on my plate.
She say you better no piss on the plate you Sonna Ma Bitch.
I don't even know the lady ...
1 Comments, 150 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score
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Little Johnny 12/15/2006
Little Johnny was sitting one day on a dock. Along came a
preacher and sat down beside him. Little Johnny had a mason
jar full of what looked like water and he was turning it over
and over, watching the bubbles float through it. The Preacher
asked, "What are you doing with that water?"
Little Johnny studied the contents of the jar for a moment,
then explained, "Preacher, this here is ...
1 Comments, 114 Views,
16 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Eve and adam 12/15/2006
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord,
I have a problem!" "What's the problem,
Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and
have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful
animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm
just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came
the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm
sick to death of apples." "Well, ...
2 Comments, 206 Views,
17 Votes
,3.41 Score
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The bomb and the pilot 12/15/2006
3 people were on a plane. One said to the pilot, "I have
a glass bottle. What do I do with it?" The pilot told
him to throw it out the window. The second one asked the same
question and the pilot also told him to throw it out the window.
The third one asked the pilot, "I have a bomb. What
do I do with it?" The pilot told him to throw it out the
window. When they landed they met a man ...
1 Comments, 98 Views,
15 Votes
,1.91 Score
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A Cat's Diary 12/15/2006
Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre
dangling objects. They eat lavish meals in my presence
while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape -- that,
and the satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some
piece of their furniture.
<br>
I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a ...
2 Comments, 452 Views,
32 Votes
,3.33 Score
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A Case for More Beer 12/15/2006
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo,
and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection
is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed
and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate ...
1 Comments, 197 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score
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A Bug 12/15/2006
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get
a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV.
One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang.
He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing
there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across
the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell ...
1 Comments, 274 Views,
14 Votes
,3.94 Score
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4 Sons 12/15/2006
These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is
detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing
their while walking to the first tee.
"My Kent, " says one, "has made quite
a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began
as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction
firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he
was able to give ...
1 Comments, 256 Views,
150 Votes
,8.39 Score
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$200 Bucks It Is... 12/15/2006
A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell,
and the wife answers.
<br>
" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you
have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give
you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and ...
1 Comments, 123 Views,
395 Votes
,8.06 Score
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KNOW HOW TO TELL A JOKE? 12/15/2006
In prison inmates number the jokes because they have heard
them so often. When they wish to tell a joke they just yell
out a number and all of the other inmates (because they know
the joke applied to that number) laugh.
One day a new prisoner comes in and knows nothing about the
system asks a fellow inmate about why everyone laughs when
a number is called out? The system is explained to ...
1 Comments, 194 Views,
14 Votes
,2.34 Score
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Beer and Ice Cream Diet 12/15/2006
Justification for beer and Ice cream! But stay away from
the pizza!
<br>
As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1
degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms,
this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally
consisting of water in large part), the natural processes
which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during
the digestive ...
1 Comments, 161 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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Santa statistics 12/15/2006
No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are roughly
300, 000 species of living organisms yet to be classified.
While most of these are insects and germs, this does not
rule out flying reindeer - though Santa and my uncle Ralph,
in his drinking days, are the only people who've ever
seen one.
There are two billion (small people under the
age of 1 in the world. But since ...
1 Comments, 71 Views,
11 Votes
,2.42 Score
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The lawyer is the guilty party 12/15/2006
A prosecuting lawyer is demanding that the accused answer
the qustion "you were cited stealing that $5000,
where is it?" The judge demands also the defendant
ask the question...... the accused then says to the judge
"Oops i thought you were talking to him"
1 Comments, 198 Views,
12 Votes
,1.92 Score
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Gimme a Brake... 12/15/2006
[Translated from French] (At least, I hope this is what
the article said! My french isn't too good!)
<br>
An auto mechanic was working underneath a car one sunny
afternoon, when the main brake line sprouted a leak and
brake fluid sprayed out into his mouth. At first, he was
sickened and worried it might be toxic, but he quickly realized
that this brake fluid actually tasted ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
25 Votes
,6.12 Score
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A bit naughty.... 12/15/2006
[Author's note: I made this one myself. And the Insect
School one...]
<br>
So there's this guy and his wife, rite?
And they love eachother very much and it's cute, and
they have this wonderful marraige and an awesome honeymoon
and the kinkiest relationship the world has ever seen.
Over time, however, in their relationship, he begins to
get suspicious...
<br>
He ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
31 Votes
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Tattoo Parlor 12/15/2006
A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the owner if he could
get a special tattoo with the words "yes" and
"no", on his manhood. The owner agreed and the
tattooing was underway.
<br>
When the job was complete, the man thought his new tattoo
looked great and he paid for the service.
<br>
That night when the man went home he approached his wife
in their bedroom. ...
1 Comments, 133 Views,
42 Votes
,7.16 Score
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Insect School... 12/15/2006
A friendly grasshopper applied for a job as a crossing guard
at a flying insect school. He got an interview, and went
in to meet the superintendent, a stern bee.
<br>
"Your responsibilities on this job", the bee
said, "include making sure the little flies get to
school in the morning, and back to the bus in the afternoon.
You must also watch them on the playground, and keep track ...
1 Comments, 116 Views,
22 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Smart 12/15/2006
A boy at school was selling
smart pills for a dollar a
piece. Another boy bought
one but ot didn't seem to
have any effect. He then
bought another one and then
another. Finally he said,
" These smart pills don't
work. Besides, they taste
like rabbit droppings" The
first boy said, " You see,
you're getting smarter all
the time
1 Comments, 204 Views,
30 Votes
,4.71 Score
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best enforcement agency 12/15/2006
In a recent attempt to decide which US law enforcement agency
is the most efficient, the President set up a test to do just
that. The test is as follows: a white rabbit is released
into a wooded area; whomever retrieves the rabbit in the
shortest time wins. The three agencies chosen to participate
are: the LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA.
<br>
First up, the CIA. They conduct an ...
1 Comments, 568 Views,
360 Votes
,6.83 Score
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A Salesman's Dillemma 12/7/2006
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle
East assignment. A
friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with
the Arabs?"
<br>
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the
Middle East, I was very
confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is
virtually unknown
there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to
...
1 Comments, 229 Views,
164 Votes
,6.91 Score
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Wife and sex 12/7/2006
Two young friends decided to visit a brothel and have a nice
time without the knoeledge of their wives. On getting there,
the first one entered and after 15 minutes, he came out hissing
and said "my wife is better than her".
The second one followed suit and after just five minutes,
he came out shaking his head and said "Yes it is true,
your wife is better than her."
1 Comments, 59 Views,
130 Votes
,6.20 Score
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