|
Because I am a Woman.... 4/16/2004
I cannot buy just one thing. If I say I am going to get a skirt
to match the blouse you just bought me, I will return three
hours later with a full mix ‘n’ match wardrobe, including
shoes. (Don’t panic, see next item.)
<br>
I never buy anything that’s not on sale. If it is a good sale,
I will but it whether I need it or not.
<br>
I will ...
0 Comments, 215 Views,
128 Votes
,6.17 Score
|
|
Things I've learned... 2/26/2004
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
<br>
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people
are just a-holes.
<br>
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
<br>
I've learned that you can get by on charm for ...
0 Comments, 247 Views,
74 Votes
,6.86 Score
|
|
heart beat... 2/9/2004
have you ever experienced of falling in love not knowing
that its your biggest mistake???or have you done something
wrong that you wanted to end up everything what you have
started???...what if one day your sweetheart called you
up telling you that shes pregnant: what question wil it
come out into your mind???...will you ask yourself:
<br>
@what will i do? do i have to run ...
0 Comments, 278 Views,
47 Votes
,2.31 Score
|
|
I thought this is the site for friends to join? 1/5/2004
It amazes me how this is such a great friend finder, but yet
some people on here just don't want to be friends with
anyone. If these people are only looking for beautiful
companions, then they should specify.....only accepting
invites from the beautiful people. It is hurtful to invite
someone to be friends and chat, and they decline your invite....how
do those people make friends? Stuck up ...
0 Comments, 255 Views,
104 Votes
,8.22 Score
|
|
Faster than sound... 12/14/2003
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that
why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
0 Comments, 450 Views,
110 Votes
,7.26 Score
|
|
i dont know if this is funny or weird 12/8/2003
my ex is the worst liar..i once caught him jerking off to
porn and his excuse was "oh these damn crabs are killing
me" lmao!!
0 Comments, 86 Views,
77 Votes
,1.05 Score
|
|
The Woman & The Lawyer 11/21/2003
A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married
12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the
bridal suite at their hotel. The bride said to her new groom,
"Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."
<br>
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought
that at least one of her husbands would have been able to
perform. He asked his ...
0 Comments, 177 Views,
539 Votes
,8.39 Score
|
|
Pick-up lines 11/10/2003
Man: So you wanna go get a pizza and have sex?
Woman: slaps the man!
Man: What? You dont like pizza?
<br>
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by
again?
<br>
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual
friend who could introduce us
<br>
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning
me down; go ahead say no. ...
0 Comments, 127 Views,
86 Votes
,2.76 Score
|
|
Great Jokes 10/28/2003
A woman was taking her husband to a retirement home. As she
was driving in the gate she saw three naked old ladies lying
on the lawn. She went to the clerk and said
“Now see here, I want to leave my husband here but when I drove
in I saw three naked old ladies lying on the lawn.”
The clerk said “Oh don’t pay any attention to them, there
just three retired ...
1 Comments, 153 Views,
65 Votes
,7.04 Score
|
|
Batteries 10/11/2003
Why is a man better than a vibrator?
<br>
Because the man is cheaper than batteries!
1 Comments, 442 Views,
56 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
Money Problems Solved! 10/11/2003
Work hard, save money, and your wife will spend it.
1 Comments, 218 Views,
54 Votes
,5.61 Score
|
|
Men are right! 10/11/2003
If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around
to hear him, is he still wrong?
2 Comments, 136 Views,
86 Votes
,7.92 Score
|
|
Blonde 10/11/2003
Why are most Blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.
1 Comments, 254 Views,
66 Votes
,7.19 Score
|
|
Revenge 10/11/2003
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around
in pain on the ground?
<br>
- Shoot him again.
1 Comments, 154 Views,
79 Votes
,7.33 Score
|
|
Whine 10/11/2003
Why do little girls whine?
<br>
Because they're practicing to be women.
1 Comments, 108 Views,
34 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Light Bulb 10/11/2003
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<br>
Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about the screwing part.
1 Comments, 180 Views,
40 Votes
,5.87 Score
|
|
Time 10/11/2003
What do you do when a woman asks you the time?
<br>
Tell her there is a clock on the stove.
1 Comments, 191 Views,
24 Votes
,1.08 Score
|
|
Black Eye 10/11/2003
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
<br>
Nothing, you already told her twice.
1 Comments, 259 Views,
41 Votes
,0.10 Score
|
|
Dishes 10/11/2003
How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<br>
None, she can do the dishes in the dark.
1 Comments, 226 Views,
25 Votes
,3.46 Score
|
|
Directions 10/11/2003
Why does it take 100, 000, 000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
<br>
- Because not one will stop and ask directions.
0 Comments, 147 Views,
41 Votes
,7.39 Score
|
|
Snoring 10/11/2003
Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
mating?
<br>
- To stop the snoring before it starts.
1 Comments, 264 Views,
30 Votes
,6.57 Score
|
|
White 10/11/2003
Why do brides wear white?
<br>
So the dishwasher matches the fridge and stove.
1 Comments, 512 Views,
22 Votes
,1.44 Score
|
|
why not laugh 8/28/2003
you know life is so short you should always smile and laugh
and smile and luagh
0 Comments, 268 Views,
42 Votes
,3.16 Score
|
|
Strawberries Sweet 10/18/2001
Strawberries Sweet
<br>
A strawberries field and a river flawing, where we'llbe goin to meet, every thing red, every thing sweet.
Strawberries at an under your feet at every place all around, strawberries
music, strawbwrries feast, a feast for lovers, lovers
will feast, compete, hearts will beat, lovers to meet, lovers
dawn, and up, lovers dance, and dancing lovers in each
others ...
0 Comments, 478 Views,
50 Votes
,0.75 Score
|
|
Once Upon A Time... 6/10/2001
I met a man thru the internet and all seemed fine until we
met. He said that he was in sales. I asked what he sold and
he answered vacuum cleaners. We met for coffee after several
e-mails back and forth. When the initial 'date' was over,
I thanked him for a nice time and left with a firm handshake
and a strange feeling. A couple of weeks went by and he asked
me to attend church with ...
0 Comments, 230 Views,
59 Votes
|
|
Worlds worst first date! 4/2/2001
For all those people who thought they'd had the worst first
date ever. This was on the Jay Leno show on 9-7-99.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing
first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize! She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... ...
0 Comments, 572 Views,
435 Votes
,8.99 Score
|
|
Bloody Short 3/2/2001
No this is not about what you are thinking it is about. I just
wanted to observe that most of the so called "articles"
in this section on Relationship Humor are often one liners
or at best a few sentances. Why? Is it because written communication
is such a difficult thing for many people! If you want to
create a relationship via e-mail then you had better learn
how to express yourself ...
0 Comments, 392 Views,
25 Votes
|
|
Why Is It . . ? 11/16/2000
Why is it, that when a girl dresses up, does her hair, nails,
make up, and puts an all out effort into her appearance.
But, when she does nothing, is feeling horrible, she gets
picked up on? I've found this to be a common complaint or
observation between all my friends and I. We'll have just
gone to the gym, are feeling ill or what not, and are flirted
with. But the minute we try our ...
2 Comments, 275 Views,
20 Votes
,1.59 Score
|
|
Viagra and Mickey Mouse 5/24/2000
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both have an hour long wait for a 3 minute ride.
0 Comments, 177 Views,
47 Votes
,4.29 Score
|
|
I'm Done Waiting for Diamonds 1/15/2000
When my mother died six months ago, the only thing she specifically
left anyone in her will, besides her million-dollar estate
that is, were her wedding rings. Now this might be a story
in itself, you know, the bitter old woman, no friends, no
material possessions, 20 year old housedresses she slopped
around in, and beauty school perms (to save money, you know)
who dies and leaves her ...
0 Comments, 172 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
|
