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On The Hunt For A Good Man!!! 8/2/2005
Viginia was talking to her brother about the kind of guy
whe would like for a boyfriend. She said "I'd
like man who is assertive but not aggressive, confident
but not an egomaniac, sensitive but not a wimp and good looking
but not conceited'
So her brothger said to her "Virginia if you can find
a guy like that I"LL have sex with him!!!"
0 Comments, 452 Views,
25 Votes
,0.37 Score
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Cleetus And Daisy Mae!!! 8/1/2005
18 year old Cleetus was making out with his girlfriend Daisy
Mae when she said "Cleetus, how do you spell paedophilia?"
<br>
And Cleetus said "Gee, Daisy Mae , that sure is a big
word for an 8 year old!!!"
0 Comments, 185 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
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Yuppie Vocabulary!!! 7/30/2005
Head Job: Vice Presidency of Chrysler Corporation.
<br>
Blow Job: Resign and take a holiday.
<br>
Slut:Woman who has sex with everybody but you.
<br>
Cockteaser: Woman who has sex with everybody but you.
<br>
Bitch: Woman who has sex with everybody but you.
<br>
69 xpensive bottle of Scotch.
<br>
Oral Sex:Jacking off while talking on the ...
0 Comments, 174 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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Relationships 7/26/2005
"Ideas will only get you so far these days. Count on
personal relationships to carry you farther. The new economy
is not just about the exchange of information. It's
about the exchange of relationships."
0 Comments, 194 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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A Wedding to Make You Chinge! (True Story!) :( 7/23/2005
You gotta love this guy! This is a true story about
a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.
It was in the local newspaper
and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding
at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone
to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone
for coming, ...
2 Comments, 1207 Views,
121 Votes
,8.58 Score
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triple dates 6/28/2005
a man was triple dating but unfortunately
for him one day he finished having sex with one of his girlfriens
and as usual was exhausted he got home to find another waiting
for him he had no choice than to go in for her in during the
process another called him that she was waiting for him
in trhe air port and she was giving him a special bed treat
on hearing that he slumped
1 Comments, 377 Views,
20 Votes
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I Want to Buy That 6/20/2005
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can
buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve
blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The
next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing,
and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again,
to a shade of ...
1 Comments, 1034 Views,
115 Votes
,4.49 Score
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WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS: 6/20/2005
'So many men, so few who can afford me.'
<br>
'Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better
rich.'
<br>
'Don't treat me any differently than you would
the Queen.'
<br>
'Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?'
<br>
'And your point is?'
<br>
'Next mood swing: 6 minutes.'
<br>
'If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the ...
0 Comments, 174 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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SIGNS YOU HAVE A BAD APARTMENT... 6/20/2005
It's the same bedroom you had as a , but now your parents
are charging you two grand a month.
<br>
Your building's security system is a cardboard cutout
of Clint Eastwood.
<br>
Rent must be paid in small, non-sequential bills.
<br>
Every time you pass the doorman, he's wearing another
article of your clothing.
<br>
You can't get through your bedroom door ...
0 Comments, 169 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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in New York 6/20/2005
A plumber was called to woman's apartment in New York
to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased
to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked
babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became
extremely friendly.
About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom
shenanigans. "That was my husband, " she said,
"He's on
his way home, but is ...
0 Comments, 155 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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Alimony Payments!!! 6/10/2005
Alimony is "The screwing you get for the screwing
you used to get"
0 Comments, 150 Views,
14 Votes
,4.42 Score
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Me and my sister 6/5/2005
Once I met this guy named Jimmy, in a little bar in my hometown.
He wanted to get together and I wasn't really interested.
He was very nice and everything though. Anyway, a few days
later my sister was telling me that she had a date that night
with this guy she met. It turned out to be this guy Jimmy.
We laughed about it and I begged her to let me get the door
when he arrived. So, ...
0 Comments, 235 Views,
17 Votes
,3.41 Score
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The Prince Turns Into a Clown 5/30/2005
After searching on line for a man whom I felt was the apple
of my eye, I finally found him and his picture made me tingle
in places that I hadn't had any feeling for a very long
time. Or it seemed that way.
<br>
His wonderful words of prose matched my ideal. He understood
the feelings of women, the loving care he wanted to share
with that special one. He wrote about working with ...
1 Comments, 204 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score
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The Rollercoaster 5/29/2005
Tip: Never take a date on a rollercoaster after you have
eaten a large meat-lovers pizza. She won't love it.
0 Comments, 101 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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two to one 5/29/2005
two very different people, too scared to get along, till
two heart beat together underneath one sun.
0 Comments, 82 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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HOW 5/29/2005
How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without
a trace , cos I stand here taking every breath with you , you're
the only one who really knew me at all, take a look at me now.
0 Comments, 70 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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about marriage 5/13/2005
First guy (proudly)
- My wife's an angel
Second guy :
You're lucky mine's still alive !
0 Comments, 128 Views,
16 Votes
,4.16 Score
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Divorce 5/13/2005
question :
<br>
Why is divorce so expensive ?
<br>
answer :
Because it worth's it !
0 Comments, 119 Views,
14 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Nice one 5/12/2005
Girls and Windows
Both have a great UI.
Both consume large resources and do less work.
Both crash unexpectedly.
Both are not easily portable on different architectures
(environment)
Both can?t work on low resource architectures (environment).
Both are costly to maintain.
Both give mostly unexpected outputs.
Both?s working often contradicts with their documentation
...
0 Comments, 121 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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lets talk............... 3/25/2005
on this day I made this heart for you as I worked the lines
out your beautyful face appeared the scraches on this heart
show you the pain it bend through, but this heart of mine
still shine bright for you.
0 Comments, 141 Views,
14 Votes
,2.18 Score
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the things do 3/16/2005
it was the first time i took my to meet my new bf and everything
was going so smooth. i could not believe how well behaved
my were. they sat there and watched movies, we ate a
wonderful dinner that my bf made and were just enjoying
each others company.
i didnt want to keep the out that late because of having
to get up early for school the next morning. so i decided
we would leave at ...
0 Comments, 226 Views,
17 Votes
,2.56 Score
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---Never mind its a humor...--- 2/28/2005
How true is this?? Did you believe it when you heard it? I'll
be sorry if you did. Maybe someone who loves you also who
did his bid. You says someone telling you i have a new one.
Who is that someone? Who has the nerve to keep us apart? They
say i haven't been true. Who told you that lie. Why don't
you tell them its not good to lie? Wished you will not believe
of that talkative one cause ...
0 Comments, 198 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score
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meeting the parents 2/16/2005
the first real time i went to meet my bf's parents, i
felt i had to really impress them. they were having his
a birthday party and i thought, "hey perfect time
to show them the real me"
i had been taking medications for some stomach problems
i had been having but didnt expect anything to go wrong with
the meds.
we sat down at the table and were ready to eat some cake and
ice cream. ...
4 Comments, 558 Views,
54 Votes
,4.04 Score
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Inside The Movie House 2/15/2005
My date and I went to the movie house to watch "Harry
Potter 2." The seats were permanently arranged in
an arc. We were seated at the back seat near the aisle. We
were just waiting for the start of the movie but we were distracted
by moviegoers who unintentionally blocked the screen.
<br>
My date was getting impatient and he said, "If someone
blocks the screen again, I will ...
1 Comments, 182 Views,
15 Votes
,2.82 Score
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The Offer 1/28/2005
He offered his honour
She hounered his offer
and all night he was on-her and off-her
<br>
Sleekly
0 Comments, 195 Views,
28 Votes
,2.83 Score
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Why I Knew she was gone ...when... 1/28/2005
I knew she was gone ...
...when my mother-in-law moved out!
I knew she was gone ...
...when my came back home to me!
I knew she was gone ...
...when my bathroom wasn't an awful mess anymore...
I knew she was gone...
...when there was some hot water left for me to take a shower
in the mornings before leaving for work.
I knew she was gone ...
...when my phone bill wasn't ...
0 Comments, 163 Views,
16 Votes
,3.13 Score
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Way to a Man's Heart 1/27/2005
Why do they say that the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach, when clearly there is a better way?
3 Comments, 254 Views,
14 Votes
,3.46 Score
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Invitation to dinner 1/21/2005
"Honey, " said this husband to his wife, "I
invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are
you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't
go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel
like cooking fancy meal!" "I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting
married."
0 Comments, 177 Views,
15 Votes
,2.67 Score
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Looking 1/21/2005
A woman posted an ad in a newspaper saying , ’looking for
a husband’. Next day she received hundreds of replyies
all sayng the same thing, ‘ You can have mine’.
0 Comments, 174 Views,
14 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Variations of 69 1/21/2005
There is a 96, that’s when you have a fight.
<br>
There is a 68, that's when you do me and I owe you one.
<br>
A 77 is a lesbian act. Because it is like a 69, but you get eight
(ate) twice.
<br>
A 70 is a 69 for gay men because there is an extra unit involved.
<br>
6.9 is a good thing interrupted by a period.
<br>
Q o you know what ...
0 Comments, 189 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score
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