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This is for the women who get hit on at least 5 times a day. 5/3/2006
Ladies, I've spent the past six months or so trying
to polish my singles skills again after a long bout of being
'committed'. Spent much time thinking about
the best way to approach a woman differently than the typical
stuff. Here are a few I've heard that don't really
sit well with me:
"Hey baby, you look great today"
"What's that perfume your wearing?"
"Baby, you're so sweet, ...
5 Comments, 189 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score
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New Maid 4/25/2006
A guy dials his home number from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid, " answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with
someone who I just figured was her ...
5 Comments, 501 Views,
46 Votes
,4.88 Score
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diff between married and bachelor 4/25/2006
Q. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married
man?
A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator,
goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in
the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
2 Comments, 112 Views,
16 Votes
,2.39 Score
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don't interrupt 4/25/2006
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the
school playground and
go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and
saw Daddy and Aunt
Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this
so exciting that
he could not contain himself as he ran home and
started to tell his Mother .
"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's
car
go into the woods
with ...
1 Comments, 184 Views,
27 Votes
,7.24 Score
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A Kind Man 4/25/2006
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local
golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green
when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to
the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap,
closes his eyes and bows in prayer.
His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful
and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind ...
1 Comments, 84 Views,
18 Votes
,3.53 Score
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The Cyborg Woman 3/27/2006
Hey Guys looking for
the perfect woman? A woman without faults or flaws. A woman
of perfect proportions, like she was made from a mold with
only the best programs installed into her memory banks.
I recall in the Movie the Step-ford Wives, that housewife's
were brainwashed or something! Then they became sexy animals
that curbed their husbands ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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You know you still love her when..... 3/19/2006
You used to be a breast man and now look at asses..cause she
had one
You like to insert her name into conversations just so you
can say her name
You get a woodie when you think about kissing
her
You would like to take her back even though
she is pregnant with another man's
3 Comments, 121 Views,
13 Votes
,0.96 Score
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Lawyers 1/20/2006
Ever had to deal with a lawyer.
Did you get skinned. They want your money, and your hide!!
1 Comments, 94 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Funny things 12/11/2005
Dating can have serious aspects or sometimes even bad dates
can be quite funny.
<br>
I once dated someone who decided to bring me flowers. What
a nice gesture, however he left the price tag on the bouquet.
<br>
Everyone has a funny story to tell and sometimes the funniest
are the weird pick up lines people use. I really couldn't
say what the silliest line I've ever heard, ...
0 Comments, 230 Views,
15 Votes
,3.59 Score
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What are you going to do with that..... 11/27/2005
I was dating a lady years ago and one night I forgot to lock
the door. She decided to come over after partying late unannounced
and she came in, walked up the stairs and was standing over
me in bed when I woke up startled. I jumped up ran down the
stairs naked with my pillow. She died laughing and asked
"what I was going to do with the pillow?"
5 Comments, 420 Views,
25 Votes
,3.02 Score
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Sorry I'm Late 11/22/2005
This is a true story and when I heard it, I LMAO!!! Please
keep in mind that both people in this are very nice mild people.
<br>
My Aunt (I'll call her Aunt Bea) was late joining her
husband (I'll call him Uncle John) and company at a
wedding.
<br>
When she finally arrived, she saw that everyone had already
had their appetizers and was halfway through the main dish. ...
3 Comments, 300 Views,
23 Votes
,3.24 Score
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Go figure... 11/20/2005
I come fome from work one day in the late summer, and my ex
is on the couch watching TV with the fireplace going. I asked
her why...she said the airconditioning was making her
cold! (she didn't turn the airconditioning off -just
tured the fireplace on)
1 Comments, 225 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score
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In touch with their feminine side! 11/17/2005
A man so wants to please his wife by not being embarrased
when out shopping for her. He now manages to buy her tampons
without being bashful.
<br>
"I don't have a problem with buying tampons",
he tell's his mate,
<br>
"Only there's no pleasing women",
he add's,
"Apparently they're not a PROPER present!".
0 Comments, 258 Views,
14 Votes
,2.02 Score
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What my niece found in her moms bedside drawer! 11/3/2005
I was baby sitting my siter-in-laws one night
when my 6 year old little niece gave me reason to laugh after
I left!
<br>
She whispered in my ear, "Auntie Louise, do you wanna
see something really gross?"
<br>
Before I had a chance to answer she produced this "electric
ear cleaner".
<br>
"It's Moms", she said cheekily, "It's
a secret in her drawer!"
<br> ...
1 Comments, 608 Views,
34 Votes
,5.13 Score
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1st experience with my inexperienced lover!!! 10/2/2005
I met my current partner about six years ago now. The first
time we got it together intimately was one of the most memorable
times of our relationship for me (although not for any romantic
reasons). Looking back on it now it seems quite funny, although
at the time I thought it a little odd.............Let me
explain!
I am the only lady that my partner has ever spent the entire ...
0 Comments, 883 Views,
50 Votes
,3.16 Score
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DATE GONE WRONG! 9/28/2005
I met a guy on this site after I'd chatted to him online
for a few weeeks. He looked pretty fit from his profile photo,
and from his chats I liked his personality.
But when we agreed to go on a date, I couldn't see him,
thinking he hadn't turned up for the date I was about
to leave the bar. Then some guy grabs me by the arm, and starts
chatting to me like he knows stuff about ...
9 Comments, 725 Views,
30 Votes
,3.53 Score
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Loving Old Couple 9/21/2005
A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold
winter's evening.
<br>
They looked out of place amid the young families and young
couples eating there that night. Some of the customers
looked admiringly at them.
<br>
You could tell what the admirers were thinking. - "Look,
there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably
for 60 years or ...
2 Comments, 916 Views,
92 Votes
,5.43 Score
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Beautiful Women!!! 9/18/2005
I have a friend who told me "I have never gone to bed
with an ugly woman but I have often woken up next to one!!!"
<br>
Thank God for alcohol or ugly people would never get laid!!!
1 Comments, 270 Views,
12 Votes
,0.50 Score
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Yor Cheatin' Ways Broke Mah Heart!!! 9/18/2005
Q: What do women hate to hear while they are having an orgasm?
<br>
Ans: "Honey, I'm home!!!"
0 Comments, 296 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score
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To be serious on here you need a sense of humour! 9/8/2005
During the past three years I have met several men on this
site. (All American) I met the first a few weeks before he
was due to travel. Seemed like a nice guy. Once he left, he
sent me a romantic e mail and I responded - only to receive
a reply .....from his wife! (It was a joint e mail account!)He
recently sent me an e mail saying he returned to a nearby
country and would I join him ...
3 Comments, 977 Views,
68 Votes
,6.62 Score
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Try ur luck !!!! 9/2/2005
Check this out.... It Really Worked with me.... Will work
with u too...
<br>
<br>
Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like
your character etc. without spending any money. This test
was devised by oxford university. It tells about your personality
just by your choice. So know yourself & enjoy
<br>
<br>
Here it is.....
...
0 Comments, 146 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Friends 8/28/2005
"SOME LIKE WOODEN SHIP, SOME LIKE SILVER SHIP.
<br>
SOME LIKE GOLD SHIP, BUT I ONLY LIKE YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
<br>
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY, IN THE STORM OF LIFE, YOU HAVE
BEEN MY SHIP"
0 Comments, 152 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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Friends 8/27/2005
"SOME LIKE WOODEN SHIP, SOME LIKE SILVER SHIP.
<br>
SOME LIKE GOLD SHIP, BUT I ONLY LIKE YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
<br>
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY, IN THE STORM OF LIFE, YOU HAVE
BEEN MY SHIP"
0 Comments, 154 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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The Divorce Dilemma 8/25/2005
The Divorce Dilemma
<br>
There was a couple married for quite some time and they had
a boy some 5-6 years old. As usually it happens in most of
the marriages the relationship b/w the couple was turning
sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought
it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a
relationship.
<br>
So they consulted a lawyer. ...
0 Comments, 198 Views,
12 Votes
,1.39 Score
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Insecurity vs. Trust In A Relationship 8/19/2005
Something funny I've noticed about some couples,
and is probably evident to some extent in many others is
their insecurities of their partner. I had been observing
during one of my trainrides back home, a Chinese guy - Aussie
lady couple whom i've encountered many times before,
and they were sitting adjacent to me this time. From what
I had gathered so far, I could tell that the Chinese ...
1 Comments, 264 Views,
18 Votes
,4.63 Score
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Definition Of Adultry!!! 8/12/2005
Adultry Is "Two right people doing the wrong thing"
0 Comments, 209 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score
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arthur 8/11/2005
as she looked into his eyes she said, a good women could
make you stop drinking, arthur takes a drink of scotch and
replies, she have to be an awful big women!
1 Comments, 242 Views,
10 Votes
,1.39 Score
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Just What The Heck Do Women Want? 8/8/2005
Virginia was telling her brother Cleetus about the type
of boyfriend she would like to have. She said "I'd
like a guy who is good looking but not conceited, confident
but not an egomanic, assertive but not aggressive and sensitive
but not a wimp"
<br>
So Cleetus said to her "If you can find a guy like that
I"LL have sex with him"
<br>
Gee. Just what are women are looking ...
0 Comments, 231 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
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Thes Two Polls Are Actually True!!! 8/7/2005
A recent Poll showed that guys live longer if they are celibate.
Another Poll showed that guys live longer if they are married.
So one can only conclude that if you are a guy and want to live
a long life then get maried but don't have sex with your
wife!!!
1 Comments, 243 Views,
9 Votes
,0.65 Score
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Recipe for a Soul Mate! 8/5/2005
1/2 cup Sincerity
1 cup Honesty
1 cup Respectfulness
1 cup Good Hygene
1/2 cup Healthy Attitude
A sprinkle of Nice Appearance
3 tablespoons Adventurous
1/2 cup Ambition
1 pint Family Oriented
2 tablespoons Intellegence
1 quart Fun
1 quart Laughter
A pinch of goofiness
<br>
Sift, mix, blend, stir and shake all of the ingredients
together at room temperature until ...
1 Comments, 317 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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