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joke 11/16/2016
ha haha
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
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Marriage 12/30/2015
I Looking a Woman For Marriage, (Caring, Loving, Open-minded)
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
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cherub with a bough 1/18/2011
Heres to cupid, the little squirt, hes lost his pants, he
lost his shirt, he lost most everything but his aim..which
shows us that LOVE is a losing game..
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
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UMMMMM 2 1/7/2011
Oh, we're actually very different, ergo one of a kind.
But together we form some kind of strange mass of "wtf"
which IS one of a kind. HE HE HEEE
0 Comments, 1 Views,
0 Votes
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UMMMM LOVE OR STUPIDITY 1/2/2011
Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown
to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly
take another step. I guess that's human nature. It
hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow up
than be single!!!!
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score |
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hi 12/8/2010
hello i want to b friend of u
0 Comments, 3 Views,
0 Votes
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is it ok for one but not the other 10/16/2010
i just want to know why men think its funny to leave the toilet
seat up so women fall in but, when we close the lid and they
make a mess all games are out the door...... why is that
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
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be funny 7/28/2010
for taking easy make you happy in every time and dont worry
of thing
1 Comments, 14 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score |
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Do I Keep My Boyfriend or the Guy I Met Online? 4/9/2010
I’m in a state of confusion whether to ‘breakup’ or end communicating
with this guy. I’m 27 and he’s 26.
I met him online and we’ve been chatting for almost 6 months
now.
He’s halfway round the world, obviously. We just talk things
out if we’re not busy. We like each other but I guess he likes
me more because he ...
2 Comments, 44 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Once ..
There was a sperm named Joni ...
Joni is known as a sperm fat and lazy. So if racing fight ova,
Joni always lose quickly with his friends the other.
Finally King sperm called Joni.
"Joni, You see I was always lazy. Job Hardolin = dahar,
modol, ulin (eating, boker, maen). Now you must take the
training to defend the country ".
With a very heavy ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating? Simon: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
0 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know
why his father didn’t punish him? Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L Teacher: No, that’s wrong… Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I’ Millie: I is.. Teacher: No, Millie…… Always say, ‘I am.’ Millie: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
0 Comments, 5 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
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Humorous story 2/6/2010
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America. Maria: Here it is. Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
0 Comments, 4 Views,
0 Votes
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Someone, somewhere, anyone,anywhere 6/4/2009
I came here to fix something and I can tell you about it later, if
you will like to meet I am looking towards meeting someone
who is nice, loving, honest caring and kind. I want a life
partner for who is going to love me! Someone that is going
to be my best of friend, and also ready to turn to your lover,
companion.. I am Someone that will takes your breath away
when we walk in a room. And am ...
1 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score |
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tradition or not 4/11/2009
If it is traditional for men to give women roses on valentines
day, then what kind should women give to their man ? Tulips
of course !
2 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
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simple joke 11/24/2008
Q: Why do couples hold hands during wedding?..
hhhhhmmm???
A: It is just a formality. like two boxers, the shake hands
before the fight begins...
4 Comments, 83 Views,
14 Votes
,3.78 Score |
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Heh! Jerry apply vaseline. 10/27/2008
Jane and Jerry got married, the mother Jane has already
told the couple to spend their first night in her house,
Jane mother was in her late 60s, very rich curious in her
nature but she was also very good at suggesting solution
to any kind of problem.
Jane and Jerry moved straight from the wedding reception
into her mother's house with her husband, they finished
their dinner with the ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score |
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Heh! Jerry apply vaseline. 10/27/2008
Jane and Jerry got married, the mother Jane has already
told the couple to spend their first night in her house,
Jane mother was in her late 60s, very rich curious in her
nature but she was also very good at suggesting solution
to any kind of problem.
Jane and Jerry moved straight from the wedding reception
into her mother's house with her husband, they finished
their dinner with the ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score |
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40th birthdays 5/6/2008
So happy birthday Anna 40 hey!!!!!
Well so I thought id tell you about my 40th birthday, all
them years ago, now normally I spend my birthday with big
, in fact this year is the only one I haven’t, apart from
my 40th he was on some cub scout thingy, and the scouting
association had banned me from going, cos I got caught shagging
barloo, the blond bomb, scout helper. But ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
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The Married Couple 4/8/2008
One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the
woman became aware that her husband was touching her in
a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and
the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching
them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently
down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then
down ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score |
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A Good ol' Southern Boy 4/7/2008
After having dug to a depth of 10 yards last year, New York
scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100
years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already
had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed,
California scientists dug to a depth of 20 yards, and shortly
after, headlines in the LA Times ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score |
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Sven and OLE 4/4/2008
Ole and Sven were fishing on the Minnesota opener when Sven
pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a
lighter, " he replied. Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
"Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, taking
the huge Bic Lighter in his hands. "Vere dit yew git dat monster??"
...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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Gynecologist's Assistant 3/30/2008
A young man goes into the Job Center in Kansas City , KS and
sees a job posting for a Gynecologist's Assistant.
Interested, he goes to learn more. "Can you give me
some details about this?", he asks the man behind
the desk. The Job Center man sorts through his files and replies,
"Oh yes here it is. The job entails you getting the
lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score |
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EarthWorm 3/29/2008
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the
yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back
into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five
dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to
put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score |
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Who wants who? 3/1/2008
On the dating sites it is so funny...the older men want younger
women, the younger men want older women, some men want any
women..Guys have you ever thought about someone your own
age.. you might be surprised how full of life they are, and
heck you would sure have a lot more to talk about.
1 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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Satan 11/14/2007
A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople
were sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone
started screaming and running for the front entrance,
trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from
evil incarnate.
Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly
gentleman who sat calmly ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
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The Goofball 10/21/2007
I married the biggest goofball there ever was. About a couple
of months ago a case of hemrrhoids struck our household.
One morning my husband got up and brushed his teeth with
hemrrhoid cream. I died because he actually told me he did
it. But I am also talking about the man who thinks an impersonation
of squidward means standing on his head naked and swinging
body parts around saying 'hi, I'm ...
0 Comments, 92 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score |
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Heaven's Shining Waters 9/9/2007
George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and
the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will
judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."
Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across.
He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals
to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I
have, what gives?"
The angel says, "He's ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
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Last Request 9/9/2007
The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by
firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the
prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they
asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal,
he said he didn''''t want anything special.
When they asked if there was something special he wanted
to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day.
...
0 Comments, 46 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score |
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Gross, Grosser, Grossest 9/9/2007
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in
your face.
0 Comments, 27 Views,
1 Votes
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Little Johnny's Mom's Vital Signs 9/9/2007
Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.
Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that
question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't
ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask
that, " and then sends him to his room. ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score |
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Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles... 9/9/2007
Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.
The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!
0 Comments, 20 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
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Sensitive Men 9/9/2007
Why is it so difficult to find men who are caring, sensitive,
and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
0 Comments, 24 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Porsche and Hedgehog 9/9/2007
What's the difference between a porsche and a hedgehog?
A hedgehog has its pricks on the outside.
0 Comments, 9 Views,
0 Votes
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Grandma 9/9/2007
What's that wrinkly thing on Grandma?
Grandpa.
0 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
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Applying for a Job at the CIA 9/9/2007
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an
assassin. These highly classified positions are hard
to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background
checks involved before you can even be considered for the
position. After sending some applicants through the background
checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible
choices down to two men and a woman, but only one ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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Honey let me be your Salty dog ! 8/7/2007
This is a true story!
In July of 1984 and I was shacked up with a beautiful redheaded
ex-stripper and ex-car thief from Culpepper, Virginia
by the name of Julie in the small town of West, Tennessee
which was my hometown. Julie was 5ft. 2 inches tall with
medium length wavy dark red hair and a natural bust size
of 36 D that was way to big for her frame and she no doubt turned
heads ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part II 8/7/2007
Anyways I got all cleaned up to go to this card game and
Julie is raising hell about me going out that early in the
day because she has a beauty appointment at 2:00 pm that
afternoon at a beauty shop that was 600 ft. away from my trailer
on the same side of the highway as the trailer park we lived
in was but this started an argument because of us only having
one car that day. My 76 Cougar was ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part III 8/7/2007
There was were two fights over the pool tournament and
another fight I suppose just for the damn hell of it that
afternoon and we nearly had a fight over the poker game at
one point with different people getting in and out of the
game arguing as the juke box kept playing that crazy song
among some other crazy as hell ones to boot by what looked
like the Texas Chain Saw Massacre crew.
...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score |
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Honey let me be your Salty Dog ! Part IV 8/7/2007
The poker game was still going on but it was pitiful because
they were all so messed up or I was and it was hard to understand
what anyone was saying. The owner of the beer joint was gonna
let them continue to play as soon as he got all of the other
customers out of the place because he was gonna play too.
I stood around and talked to a couple of different people
a few minutes and about ...
9 Comments, 102 Views,
13 Votes
,3.98 Score |
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Do this first 5/23/2007
At one time or another, we've all experienced a moment
so passionate that wasting time on foreplay was un-thinkable
-- and if you haven't yet, you should. However, getting
caught up in the heat of the moment is quite different from
pouncing on her out of nowhere, and cutting straight to
the chase on a regular basis.Many a times she needs a little
appetizer before the main course. Something as ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
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UNIVERSAL... 2/22/2007
its language is the language of anarchy. its cry is cry of blackened eye wolf. dictators were born
and born again. ignorant of the word death, the mountains turn crazy vomiting
of lava, it frozen like dumb nights!
4 Comments, 68 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score |
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love and \bsexo?\b, which you choice 2/21/2007
my freind told me western world, people more care \bsexo?\b
in family, and i talked many men here, most men divorced
, they always told me , their wives went to other man.....
4 Comments, 146 Views,
19 Votes
,3.39 Score |
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I'm in love but you don't care. 1/29/2007
I was quite hesitant to write about this because I feel quite
strongly about the said lines. I didn't want to trash
it or do it such vile injustice. But I also thought a lot of
people would more or less relate to this topic because I
guess at some point they had once "loved" a person
who seemed to be utterly clueless and oblivious to the his
or her affection. The one-sided phenomenon.
...
1 Comments, 37 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
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first love 1/16/2007
why we can not forget our first
love?...
4 Comments, 79 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
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you are not going to believe this!! 1/16/2007
I was seeing someone that was soooooo addicted to his mum.
Now i am not making this up at all i swear;
whenever he brought me flowers he bought his mum flowers!
whenever he wrote me a poem he did the same for his mum! it
got me thinking what else he does for his mum....hhmmmmm
has anyone met anyone crazier???
1 Comments, 69 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score |
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Mother 12/18/2006
Mothers are most Instinctive
Philosopher...
2 Comments, 45 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score |
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Did you know guys? 11/21/2006
Did you know that there is a part of a woman that a
guy can touch that will turn her on and make her go crazy?
That when you touch this spot she will be yours?
Answer: Her heart. ...
3 Comments, 243 Views,
18 Votes
,4.08 Score |
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A wife suspecting her husband, what happened? 11/7/2006
A man and his wife were living alone in the house and the husbands
does not like going out often, soon the wife employed a
cook for the house and she was a beautiful lady, the wife
suspected that husband now love going out in a particular
time soon the cook too, the wife also noticed that the husband
receives phone calls 10minutes before he leaves and the
name on the phone call in the ...
4 Comments, 102 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score |
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why 11/4/2006
when u love some one truly why she brake ur heart so easily
n badly.why n how she can brake eart so badly n dont say anything.
3 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score |
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? 10/31/2006
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like,
if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,
and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're
going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get
to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- ...
2 Comments, 59 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score |
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different strokes , for different folks! 10/27/2006
Yes, i know its corny!
But that's something i heard from one of my best friends,
its simple but truthful. Some people just turned on to certain
types of people than to others. There's a saying that
goes: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
meaning good looks or \bsexo?\b appeal is different to
every person, we're all wired differently and i think
makes it more interesting ...
2 Comments, 34 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
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...... funny poems.... 9/29/2006
Roses are Red....
Violets are Blue...
You're soooo cute...
How can I get to know You ?!?
3 Comments, 82 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score |
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have a nice day. 8/21/2006
when your go walking in a street,
your will think in your home,
when your are in the coast, your
will think in your home, but if your
have not home, you are condenated.
and have a nice day.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
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The Down Side For Being Considerate 8/5/2006
Somehow during the sweltering heat I managed to pick up
a summer cold. The last thing I want to do is pass it along
to my g/f or to her 4yr old so I have not gone over to her
place or seen her all week.
While that may be the right thing to do its difficult because
we miss each other a great deal.
Of course had I done the exact opposite and seen her she would
have gotten fed up with my ...
1 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score |
|
Freedom Gone 7/13/2006
Now that the relationship is off and running
and I spend as much time at her place as I do my own ..is there
a recycling plant or disposal area where I can drop off my
freedom and turn in my "man card" ?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Just kidding..life is good.
1 Comments, 50 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score |
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Reading the relaionship humor articles 6/5/2006
I find them to have a great sense of humor and
that is what life is all about. Finding humor in things can
be a way to cope with stress or just to have a good time. I am
not talking about laughting at people but finding humor
in things, situtations, jokes etc.
hugssssssssssss Julliette...
3 Comments, 61 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score |
|
This is for the women who get hit on at least 5 times a day. 5/3/2006
Ladies, I've spent the past six months or so trying
to polish my singles skills again after a long bout of being
'committed'. Spent much time thinking about
the best way to approach a woman differently than the typical
stuff. Here are a few I've heard that don't really
sit well with me:
"Hey baby, you look great today"
"What's that perfume your wearing?"
"Baby, you're so sweet, ...
5 Comments, 189 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score |
|
New Maid 4/25/2006
A guy dials his home number from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid, " answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with
someone who I just figured was her ...
5 Comments, 501 Views,
46 Votes
,4.88 Score |
|
diff between married and bachelor 4/25/2006
Q. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married
man?
A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator,
goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in
the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
2 Comments, 112 Views,
16 Votes
,2.39 Score |
|
don't interrupt 4/25/2006
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the
school playground and
go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and
saw Daddy and Aunt
Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this
so exciting that
he could not contain himself as he ran home and
started to tell his Mother .
"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's
car
go into the woods
with ...
1 Comments, 184 Views,
27 Votes
,7.24 Score |
|
A Kind Man 4/25/2006
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local
golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green
when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to
the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap,
closes his eyes and bows in prayer.
His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful
and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind ...
1 Comments, 84 Views,
18 Votes
,3.53 Score |
|
The Cyborg Woman 3/27/2006
Hey Guys looking for
the perfect woman? A woman without faults or flaws. A woman
of perfect proportions, like she was made from a mold with
only the best programs installed into her memory banks.
I recall in the Movie the Step-ford Wives, that housewife's
were brainwashed or something! Then they became sexy animals
that curbed their husbands ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
|
You know you still love her when..... 3/19/2006
You used to be a breast man and now look at asses..cause she
had one
You like to insert her name into conversations just so you
can say her name
You get a woodie when you think about kissing
her
You would like to take her back even though
she is pregnant with another man's
3 Comments, 121 Views,
13 Votes
,0.96 Score |
|
Lawyers 1/20/2006
Ever had to deal with a lawyer.
Did you get skinned. They want your money, and your hide!!
1 Comments, 94 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
|
Funny things 12/11/2005
Dating can have serious aspects or sometimes even bad dates
can be quite funny.
<br>
I once dated someone who decided to bring me flowers. What
a nice gesture, however he left the price tag on the bouquet.
<br>
Everyone has a funny story to tell and sometimes the funniest
are the weird pick up lines people use. I really couldn't
say what the silliest line I've ever heard, ...
0 Comments, 230 Views,
15 Votes
,3.59 Score |
|
What are you going to do with that..... 11/27/2005
I was dating a lady years ago and one night I forgot to lock
the door. She decided to come over after partying late unannounced
and she came in, walked up the stairs and was standing over
me in bed when I woke up startled. I jumped up ran down the
stairs naked with my pillow. She died laughing and asked
"what I was going to do with the pillow?"
5 Comments, 420 Views,
25 Votes
,3.02 Score |
|
Sorry I'm Late 11/22/2005
This is a true story and when I heard it, I LMAO!!! Please
keep in mind that both people in this are very nice mild people.
<br>
My Aunt (I'll call her Aunt Bea) was late joining her
husband (I'll call him Uncle John) and company at a
wedding.
<br>
When she finally arrived, she saw that everyone had already
had their appetizers and was halfway through the main dish. ...
3 Comments, 300 Views,
23 Votes
,3.24 Score |
|
Go figure... 11/20/2005
I come fome from work one day in the late summer, and my ex
is on the couch watching TV with the fireplace going. I asked
her why...she said the airconditioning was making her
cold! (she didn't turn the airconditioning off -just
tured the fireplace on)
1 Comments, 225 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score |
|
In touch with their feminine side! 11/17/2005
A man so wants to please his wife by not being embarrased
when out shopping for her. He now manages to buy her tampons
without being bashful.
<br>
"I don't have a problem with buying tampons",
he tell's his mate,
<br>
"Only there's no pleasing women",
he add's,
"Apparently they're not a PROPER present!".
0 Comments, 258 Views,
14 Votes
,2.02 Score |
|
What my niece found in her moms bedside drawer! 11/3/2005
I was baby sitting my siter-in-laws one night
when my 6 year old little niece gave me reason to laugh after
I left!
<br>
She whispered in my ear, "Auntie Louise, do you wanna
see something really gross?"
<br>
Before I had a chance to answer she produced this "electric
ear cleaner".
<br>
"It's Moms", she said cheekily, "It's
a secret in her drawer!"
<br> ...
1 Comments, 608 Views,
34 Votes
,5.13 Score |
|
1st experience with my inexperienced lover!!! 10/2/2005
I met my current partner about six years ago now. The first
time we got it together intimately was one of the most memorable
times of our relationship for me (although not for any romantic
reasons). Looking back on it now it seems quite funny, although
at the time I thought it a little odd.............Let me
explain!
I am the only lady that my partner has ever spent the entire ...
0 Comments, 883 Views,
50 Votes
,3.16 Score |
|
DATE GONE WRONG! 9/28/2005
I met a guy on this site after I'd chatted to him online
for a few weeeks. He looked pretty fit from his profile photo,
and from his chats I liked his personality.
But when we agreed to go on a date, I couldn't see him,
thinking he hadn't turned up for the date I was about
to leave the bar. Then some guy grabs me by the arm, and starts
chatting to me like he knows stuff about ...
9 Comments, 725 Views,
30 Votes
,3.53 Score |
|
Loving Old Couple 9/21/2005
A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold
winter's evening.
<br>
They looked out of place amid the young families and young
couples eating there that night. Some of the customers
looked admiringly at them.
<br>
You could tell what the admirers were thinking. - "Look,
there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably
for 60 years or ...
2 Comments, 916 Views,
92 Votes
,5.43 Score |
|
Beautiful Women!!! 9/18/2005
I have a friend who told me "I have never gone to bed
with an ugly woman but I have often woken up next to one!!!"
<br>
Thank God for alcohol or ugly people would never get laid!!!
1 Comments, 270 Views,
12 Votes
,0.50 Score |
|
Yor Cheatin' Ways Broke Mah Heart!!! 9/18/2005
Q: What do women hate to hear while they are having an orgasm?
<br>
Ans: "Honey, I'm home!!!"
0 Comments, 296 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score |
|
To be serious on here you need a sense of humour! 9/8/2005
During the past three years I have met several men on this
site. (All American) I met the first a few weeks before he
was due to travel. Seemed like a nice guy. Once he left, he
sent me a romantic e mail and I responded - only to receive
a reply .....from his wife! (It was a joint e mail account!)He
recently sent me an e mail saying he returned to a nearby
country and would I join him ...
3 Comments, 977 Views,
68 Votes
,6.62 Score |
|
Try ur luck !!!! 9/2/2005
Check this out.... It Really Worked with me.... Will work
with u too...
<br>
<br>
Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like
your character etc. without spending any money. This test
was devised by oxford university. It tells about your personality
just by your choice. So know yourself & enjoy
<br>
<br>
Here it is.....
...
0 Comments, 146 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score |
|
Friends 8/28/2005
"SOME LIKE WOODEN SHIP, SOME LIKE SILVER SHIP.
<br>
SOME LIKE GOLD SHIP, BUT I ONLY LIKE YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
<br>
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY, IN THE STORM OF LIFE, YOU HAVE
BEEN MY SHIP"
0 Comments, 152 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score |
|
Friends 8/27/2005
"SOME LIKE WOODEN SHIP, SOME LIKE SILVER SHIP.
<br>
SOME LIKE GOLD SHIP, BUT I ONLY LIKE YOUR FRIENDSHIP.
<br>
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY, IN THE STORM OF LIFE, YOU HAVE
BEEN MY SHIP"
0 Comments, 154 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score |
|
The Divorce Dilemma 8/25/2005
The Divorce Dilemma
<br>
There was a couple married for quite some time and they had
a boy some 5-6 years old. As usually it happens in most of
the marriages the relationship b/w the couple was turning
sour. So finally it reached such a stage that they thought
it was better for them to be divorced than carry on such a
relationship.
<br>
So they consulted a lawyer. ...
0 Comments, 198 Views,
12 Votes
,1.39 Score |
|
Insecurity vs. Trust In A Relationship 8/19/2005
Something funny I've noticed about some couples,
and is probably evident to some extent in many others is
their insecurities of their partner. I had been observing
during one of my trainrides back home, a Chinese guy - Aussie
lady couple whom i've encountered many times before,
and they were sitting adjacent to me this time. From what
I had gathered so far, I could tell that the Chinese ...
1 Comments, 264 Views,
18 Votes
,4.63 Score |
|
Definition Of Adultry!!! 8/12/2005
Adultry Is "Two right people doing the wrong thing"
0 Comments, 209 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score |
|
arthur 8/11/2005
as she looked into his eyes she said, a good women could
make you stop drinking, arthur takes a drink of scotch and
replies, she have to be an awful big women!
1 Comments, 242 Views,
10 Votes
,1.39 Score |
|
Just What The Heck Do Women Want? 8/8/2005
Virginia was telling her brother Cleetus about the type
of boyfriend she would like to have. She said "I'd
like a guy who is good looking but not conceited, confident
but not an egomanic, assertive but not aggressive and sensitive
but not a wimp"
<br>
So Cleetus said to her "If you can find a guy like that
I"LL have sex with him"
<br>
Gee. Just what are women are looking ...
0 Comments, 231 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score |
|
Thes Two Polls Are Actually True!!! 8/7/2005
A recent Poll showed that guys live longer if they are celibate.
Another Poll showed that guys live longer if they are married.
So one can only conclude that if you are a guy and want to live
a long life then get maried but don't have sex with your
wife!!!
1 Comments, 243 Views,
9 Votes
,0.65 Score |
|
Recipe for a Soul Mate! 8/5/2005
1/2 cup Sincerity
1 cup Honesty
1 cup Respectfulness
1 cup Good Hygene
1/2 cup Healthy Attitude
A sprinkle of Nice Appearance
3 tablespoons Adventurous
1/2 cup Ambition
1 pint Family Oriented
2 tablespoons Intellegence
1 quart Fun
1 quart Laughter
A pinch of goofiness
<br>
Sift, mix, blend, stir and shake all of the ingredients
together at room temperature until ...
1 Comments, 317 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score |
|
On The Hunt For A Good Man!!! 8/2/2005
Viginia was talking to her brother about the kind of guy
whe would like for a boyfriend. She said "I'd
like man who is assertive but not aggressive, confident
but not an egomaniac, sensitive but not a wimp and good looking
but not conceited'
So her brothger said to her "Virginia if you can find
a guy like that I"LL have sex with him!!!"
0 Comments, 452 Views,
25 Votes
,0.37 Score |
|
Cleetus And Daisy Mae!!! 8/1/2005
18 year old Cleetus was making out with his girlfriend Daisy
Mae when she said "Cleetus, how do you spell paedophilia?"
<br>
And Cleetus said "Gee, Daisy Mae , that sure is a big
word for an 8 year old!!!"
0 Comments, 185 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score |
|
Yuppie Vocabulary!!! 7/30/2005
Head Job: Vice Presidency of Chrysler Corporation.
<br>
Blow Job: Resign and take a holiday.
<br>
Slut:Woman who has sex with everybody but you.
<br>
Cockteaser: Woman who has sex with everybody but you.
<br>
Bitch: Woman who has sex with everybody but you.
<br>
69xpensive bottle of Scotch.
<br>
Oral Sex:Jacking off while talking on the ...
0 Comments, 174 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score |
|
Relationships 7/26/2005
"Ideas will only get you so far these days. Count on
personal relationships to carry you farther. The new economy
is not just about the exchange of information. It's
about the exchange of relationships."
0 Comments, 194 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score |
|
A Wedding to Make You Chinge! (True Story!) :( 7/23/2005
You gotta love this guy! This is a true story about
a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.
It was in the local newspaper
and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding
at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone
to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone
for coming, ...
2 Comments, 1207 Views,
121 Votes
,8.58 Score |
|
triple dates 6/28/2005
a man was triple dating but unfortunately
for him one day he finished having sex with one of his girlfriens
and as usual was exhausted he got home to find another waiting
for him he had no choice than to go in for her in during the
process another called him that she was waiting for him
in trhe air port and she was giving him a special bed treat
on hearing that he slumped
1 Comments, 377 Views,
20 Votes
|
|
I Want to Buy That 6/20/2005
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can
buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve
blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The
next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing,
and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again,
to a shade of ...
1 Comments, 1034 Views,
115 Votes
,4.49 Score |
|
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS: 6/20/2005
'So many men, so few who can afford me.'
<br>
'Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better
rich.'
<br>
'Don't treat me any differently than you would
the Queen.'
<br>
'Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares?'
<br>
'And your point is?'
<br>
'Next mood swing: 6 minutes.'
<br>
'If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the ...
0 Comments, 174 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score |
|
SIGNS YOU HAVE A BAD APARTMENT... 6/20/2005
It's the same bedroom you had as a , but now your parents
are charging you two grand a month.
<br>
Your building's security system is a cardboard cutout
of Clint Eastwood.
<br>
Rent must be paid in small, non-sequential bills.
<br>
Every time you pass the doorman, he's wearing another
article of your clothing.
<br>
You can't get through your bedroom door ...
0 Comments, 169 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
|
in New York 6/20/2005
A plumber was called to woman's apartment in New York
to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased
to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked
babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became
extremely friendly.
About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom
shenanigans. "That was my husband, " she said,
"He's on
his way home, but is ...
0 Comments, 155 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score |
|
Alimony Payments!!! 6/10/2005
Alimony is "The screwing you get for the screwing
you used to get"
0 Comments, 150 Views,
14 Votes
,4.42 Score |
|
Me and my sister 6/5/2005
Once I met this guy named Jimmy, in a little bar in my hometown.
He wanted to get together and I wasn't really interested.
He was very nice and everything though. Anyway, a few days
later my sister was telling me that she had a date that night
with this guy she met. It turned out to be this guy Jimmy.
We laughed about it and I begged her to let me get the door
when he arrived. So, ...
0 Comments, 235 Views,
17 Votes
,3.41 Score |
|
The Prince Turns Into a Clown 5/30/2005
After searching on line for a man whom I felt was the apple
of my eye, I finally found him and his picture made me tingle
in places that I hadn't had any feeling for a very long
time. Or it seemed that way.
<br>
His wonderful words of prose matched my ideal. He understood
the feelings of women, the loving care he wanted to share
with that special one. He wrote about working with ...
1 Comments, 204 Views,
15 Votes
,2.52 Score |
|
The Rollercoaster 5/29/2005
Tip: Never take a date on a rollercoaster after you have
eaten a large meat-lovers pizza. She won't love it.
0 Comments, 101 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
|
two to one 5/29/2005
two very different people, too scared to get along, till
two heart beat together underneath one sun.
0 Comments, 82 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
|
HOW 5/29/2005
How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without
a trace , cos I stand here taking every breath with you , you're
the only one who really knew me at all, take a look at me now.
0 Comments, 70 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score |
|
about marriage 5/13/2005
First guy (proudly)
- My wife's an angel
Second guy :
You're lucky mine's still alive !
0 Comments, 128 Views,
16 Votes
,4.16 Score |
|
Divorce 5/13/2005
question :
<br>
Why is divorce so expensive ?
<br>
answer :
Because it worth's it !
0 Comments, 119 Views,
14 Votes
,4.58 Score |
|
Nice one 5/12/2005
Girls and Windows
Both have a great UI.
Both consume large resources and do less work.
Both crash unexpectedly.
Both are not easily portable on different architectures
(environment)
Both can?t work on low resource architectures (environment).
Both are costly to maintain.
Both give mostly unexpected outputs.
Both?s working often contradicts with their documentation
...
0 Comments, 121 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score |
|
lets talk............... 3/25/2005
on this day I made this heart for you as I worked the lines
out your beautyful face appeared the scraches on this heart
show you the pain it bend through, but this heart of mine
still shine bright for you.
0 Comments, 141 Views,
14 Votes
,2.18 Score |
|
the things do 3/16/2005
it was the first time i took my to meet my new bf and everything
was going so smooth. i could not believe how well behaved
my were. they sat there and watched movies, we ate a
wonderful dinner that my bf made and were just enjoying
each others company.
i didnt want to keep the out that late because of having
to get up early for school the next morning. so i decided
we would leave at ...
0 Comments, 226 Views,
17 Votes
,2.56 Score |
|
---Never mind its a humor...--- 2/28/2005
How true is this?? Did you believe it when you heard it? I'll
be sorry if you did. Maybe someone who loves you also who
did his bid. You says someone telling you i have a new one.
Who is that someone? Who has the nerve to keep us apart? They
say i haven't been true. Who told you that lie. Why don't
you tell them its not good to lie? Wished you will not believe
of that talkative one cause ...
0 Comments, 198 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score |
|
meeting the parents 2/16/2005
the first real time i went to meet my bf's parents, i
felt i had to really impress them. they were having his
a birthday party and i thought, "hey perfect time
to show them the real me"
i had been taking medications for some stomach problems
i had been having but didnt expect anything to go wrong with
the meds.
we sat down at the table and were ready to eat some cake and
ice cream. ...
4 Comments, 558 Views,
54 Votes
,4.04 Score |
|
Inside The Movie House 2/15/2005
My date and I went to the movie house to watch "Harry
Potter 2." The seats were permanently arranged in
an arc. We were seated at the back seat near the aisle. We
were just waiting for the start of the movie but we were distracted
by moviegoers who unintentionally blocked the screen.
<br>
My date was getting impatient and he said, "If someone
blocks the screen again, I will ...
1 Comments, 182 Views,
15 Votes
,2.82 Score |
|
The Offer 1/28/2005
He offered his honour
She hounered his offer
and all night he was on-her and off-her
<br>
Sleekly
0 Comments, 195 Views,
28 Votes
,2.83 Score |
|
Why I Knew she was gone ...when... 1/28/2005
I knew she was gone ...
...when my mother-in-law moved out!
I knew she was gone ...
...when my came back home to me!
I knew she was gone ...
...when my bathroom wasn't an awful mess anymore...
I knew she was gone...
...when there was some hot water left for me to take a shower
in the mornings before leaving for work.
I knew she was gone ...
...when my phone bill wasn't ...
0 Comments, 163 Views,
16 Votes
,3.13 Score |
|
Way to a Man's Heart 1/27/2005
Why do they say that the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach, when clearly there is a better way?
3 Comments, 254 Views,
14 Votes
,3.46 Score |
|
Invitation to dinner 1/21/2005
"Honey, " said this husband to his wife, "I
invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are
you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't
go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel
like cooking fancy meal!" "I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting
married."
0 Comments, 177 Views,
15 Votes
,2.67 Score |
|
Looking 1/21/2005
A woman posted an ad in a newspaper saying , ’looking for
a husband’. Next day she received hundreds of replyies
all sayng the same thing, ‘ You can have mine’.
0 Comments, 174 Views,
14 Votes
,2.98 Score |
|
Variations of 69 1/21/2005
There is a 96, that’s when you have a fight.
<br>
There is a 68, that's when you do me and I owe you one.
<br>
A 77 is a lesbian act. Because it is like a 69, but you get eight
(ate) twice.
<br>
A 70 is a 69 for gay men because there is an extra unit involved.
<br>
6.9 is a good thing interrupted by a period.
<br>
Qo you know what ...
0 Comments, 189 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score |
|
Country fair 1/21/2005
A man took his wife to the county fair and one of the first
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went
up to the first pen and noticed a sign attached that said,
"This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife
playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He
mated 50 times last year." They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that
said, ...
0 Comments, 216 Views,
20 Votes
,5.68 Score |
|
Embarrassing moment 1/21/2005
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my decided
to release some pent-up energy and run amok. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she
did not start behaving "right now" she would
be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said
in a voice just as threatening, "If you ...
1 Comments, 212 Views,
20 Votes
,5.81 Score |
|
Fleeing 1/21/2005
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife
suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing
diapers. "I'm busy, " he said. "I'll
do the next one." The next time came around and she
asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked
at his wife. "I didn't mean the next diaper. I
meant the next baby."
0 Comments, 184 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score |
|
Couple 1/21/2005
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders
why.
0 Comments, 218 Views,
17 Votes
,3.27 Score |
|
Silent treatment 1/13/2005
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00
AM." He left it where he knew she would find ...
0 Comments, 265 Views,
31 Votes
,4.29 Score |
|
Just because... 1/11/2005
Just because you
THINK IT,
does not make
IT SO.
0 Comments, 194 Views,
16 Votes
,1.66 Score |
|
Men who enjoy lies 12/25/2004
Hi, I want to share with you an experience that I had on line,
I met a "man" about many many years ago, about
8 years ago, and we decided to meet each other, so we met inside
a store, both of us were supposed to take a rose so we can know
each other, the only stupid was me because I was the only
one who had a rose, we had necer seen before because it was
a chat without pictures, so we met, ...
2 Comments, 434 Views,
32 Votes
,2.96 Score |
|
wisdom and the courage 12/15/2004
At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself
what is really important. Have the wisdom and the courage
to build your life around your answer.
0 Comments, 163 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score |
|
wisdom and the courage 12/15/2004
At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself
what is really important. Have the wisdom and the courage
to build your life around your answer.
0 Comments, 183 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score |
|
Send the Bottle Back 12/12/2004
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while
sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman
sitting all alone at a nearby table. He calls the waiter
over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot
to be sent over to her, knowing that, if she accepts it, she
is his.
<br>
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly brings it over to
the woman,
saying ...
2 Comments, 394 Views,
47 Votes
,6.54 Score |
|
Sad Story :~( 12/8/2004
Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school,
<br>
He told his friends that it was cool,
<br>
And when he pulled the trigger back,
<br>
It shot with a great crack.
<br>
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told,
<br>
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
<br>
But Mommy, when I went school that day,
...
1 Comments, 358 Views,
24 Votes
,4.15 Score |
|
Very Touching :( 12/7/2004
it's touching!
<br>
A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding
through the night. They loved each other a lot..
Girl:" slow down a little.. I'm scared.."
Boy: "No, it's so fun.."
Girl: "please..it's so scary.."
Boy: "Then say that you lovem e.."
Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug.."
The girl gave him a big hug.
...
0 Comments, 288 Views,
24 Votes
,1.20 Score |
|
love 12/7/2004
loving you is like a sun to mii , a day whitout u is like a day
whitout rain non sun i love u so mach
0 Comments, 139 Views,
8 Votes
,0.23 Score |
|
irony of a chat room 12/1/2004
"any ladies wanna chat"?..(no one replys)..."any
ladies wanna chat"? ...(no one replys)..."I
own a succesful company"...(all the Asian girls
say "hello" and all the American women say "yeah
right")
<br>
so I try a different approach..
<br>
I send a private messege saying "hello I'm interseted
to meet you"...the reply is:"go away you sleaze
ball I dont do private messages ...
2 Comments, 265 Views,
30 Votes
,4.61 Score |
|
Women are smarter than Men 11/24/2004
It's obvious that women are smarter than men, think
about it! Diamonds are a girl's bestfriend; man's
best friend is a dog!
4 Comments, 178 Views,
30 Votes
,3.53 Score |
|
good one 11/23/2004
HELLO MY ........ Dear Handsome, ...
Here is my chance to tell the world how lucky I am to have found
an amazing GIRL like you. All my life I felt like I was meant
to be alone, as if my someone took a wrong turn over a bridge
before I could meet them. Then came you... suddenly my eyes
went from clouded storms to small blue beacons. I was so
sad, and you took away all that pain just by ...
1 Comments, 162 Views,
15 Votes
,1.45 Score |
|
Apples and Wine :-)) 11/22/2004
Apples and Wine
<br>
Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because
they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten applesfrom the ground
that aren't as good, but easy.
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when
in reality, they're ...
1 Comments, 258 Views,
32 Votes
,6.15 Score |
|
Personality Blessings 11/18/2004
It is quite true that having a sence of humor can assist building
a lasting relationship. How to get around any stumbling
blocks getting started is not so simple... Once in the groove
greatest memories can be had during times like as an ice
cube dazzle occurs flirtatiously!
1 Comments, 166 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score |
|
All men lie...I should know, I am one! 10/27/2004
Hey I know I aint making any friends writing this lttle ditty
but lets face it....any guy will say whatever it takes to
get what he wants from a woman...maybe women made it that
way, who knows....but IMHO if a man says he is completely
honest with women then he's probably just better at
playing the game....I aint talking about flat out fabricating,
more those little situations that us guys ...
3 Comments, 158 Views,
45 Votes
,4.33 Score |
|
Eventful Statistics 10/23/2004
If men chose costumes for all of their close attractive
female friends... Some would be incredible lingerie dolls
as partying late! Would that cause significant related
sales whenever visiting stores?
0 Comments, 96 Views,
16 Votes
,0.48 Score |
|
what makes my love.. 9/25/2004
The feeling of emptiness is no longer around,
surrounded by butterflies and beautiful sound.
Now that I met you it all seems so clear,
that you are the angel that was sent to me here.
Hearing you laugh and seeing you smile,
shows me that it’s all worth the while.
Feeling the warmth of your body on mine
Sends chills up and down my spine.
Looking into your beautiful eyes,
...
3 Comments, 234 Views,
22 Votes
,3.85 Score |
|
short hair 9/25/2004
My husband isnt very observant and one night after my bath
I decided to see if I could still stand on my head. My husband
walked in stoped and said dam you sure cut your hair short
this time.
0 Comments, 195 Views,
23 Votes
,5.35 Score |
|
Love z A Hard Question Which z Hard 2 Be Answred !.. 8/10/2004
They Say Luv z a Myth Nowdays Lived and Died Long TimeAgo
..
When we Used 2 Hear About it in Romeo and Juliet Stories ...
Qais and Layla
Titanic Sank Cleopetra ... Etc, Nowdays People Become
So Blind 2 Figure out Wuts da Real Meaning of Luv or Recognize
Diffirences Between Luv and Friendship Or Admiring Etc
... Luv Has Been Tranfered 2 Shallow Meanings and Temperory
Feelings .... ...
0 Comments, 176 Views,
23 Votes
,1.73 Score |
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Love, Lust and Marriage 8/6/2004
LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you lose your in crowded room.
<br>
<br>
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?
<br>
<br>
LOVE - When you argue over how many ...
0 Comments, 173 Views,
75 Votes
,8.63 Score |
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Things Men Need to Know 8/6/2004
1. The reason our bras don't always match our underwear
is because
WE actually CHANGE our underwear.
<br>
2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women
in
combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim
at
the toilet bowl.
<br>
3. If we're watching football with you, it's
not bonding. We're
watching because of the butts.
...
0 Comments, 190 Views,
58 Votes
,7.11 Score |
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Humor???? 8/5/2004
yeah it is good to have humor in a relationship, laughter
is good medicine for the soul. If anyone can make me laugh
they are ok. I can make people laugh too but mostly it is him.
To me there is nothing wrong with that, everyone should
smile at least once a day eh? Even in public.
1 Comments, 144 Views,
20 Votes
,1.59 Score |
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Relationship and Humour? Howcome...? 7/17/2004
I mean..ok, I undestand that u have quite greate time with
ur love one etc but what´s the deal with relationship humour?
is it humorous when u do stupid things together or what?
i really dont get it really..i think relationship is sth
special and in that there´s surely funny things etc - well
we have to have fun, right?! But it seems like being in a relatonship
should be humorous? ...
0 Comments, 189 Views,
38 Votes
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Humour in Love and Hate 7/2/2004
You know your relationship is a joke when your loved one
says I LOVE you everytime you leave. Yeah, that's a
bummer. You know they really hate you when they say I hate
you everytime your in the same room with them. Well, if you're
having problems with a loved one and you wanna get just as
back.
You can always call up their bossy and ask;Where's
that sexy girl/man! I can't wait till ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
41 Votes
,0.10 Score |
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read and see 6/14/2004
Come and get me baby! yow! Ok...On the one hand I'm looking
to make all kinds of friends from all over the place! On the
other hand...I'm also looking for THE ONE. so please
keep that in mind everybody...you too THE ONE (if you're
out there... because if you are? All my new found friends
and I will have to part company. I don't screw around
in a relationship. I'm total loyal, faithful, ...
0 Comments, 175 Views,
18 Votes
,0.40 Score |
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Young and dumb 5/11/2004
Once upon a time it seems in another life I married my teenage
sweetheart.
We didnt have much so we lived with my grandparents.We were
young , dumb,
in love and in lust. I found my self at one point rather large
and pregnant.We
were back in our room , both reading a book, One thing lead
to another and
didnt realize how loud things got.Untill that is we were
interrupted by a loud
...
0 Comments, 141 Views,
52 Votes
,1.99 Score |
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Because I am a Woman.... 4/16/2004
I cannot buy just one thing. If I say I am going to get a skirt
to match the blouse you just bought me, I will return three
hours later with a full mix ‘n’ match wardrobe, including
shoes. (Don’t panic, see next item.)
<br>
I never buy anything that’s not on sale. If it is a good sale,
I will but it whether I need it or not.
<br>
I will ...
0 Comments, 215 Views,
128 Votes
,6.17 Score |
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Things I've learned... 2/26/2004
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
<br>
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people
are just a-holes.
<br>
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
<br>
I've learned that you can get by on charm for ...
0 Comments, 247 Views,
74 Votes
,6.86 Score |
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heart beat... 2/9/2004
have you ever experienced of falling in love not knowing
that its your biggest mistake???or have you done something
wrong that you wanted to end up everything what you have
started???...what if one day your sweetheart called you
up telling you that shes pregnant: what question wil it
come out into your mind???...will you ask yourself:
<br>
@what will i do? do i have to run ...
0 Comments, 278 Views,
47 Votes
,2.31 Score |
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I thought this is the site for friends to join? 1/5/2004
It amazes me how this is such a great friend finder, but yet
some people on here just don't want to be friends with
anyone. If these people are only looking for beautiful
companions, then they should specify.....only accepting
invites from the beautiful people. It is hurtful to invite
someone to be friends and chat, and they decline your invite....how
do those people make friends? Stuck up ...
0 Comments, 255 Views,
104 Votes
,8.22 Score |
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Faster than sound... 12/14/2003
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that
why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
0 Comments, 450 Views,
110 Votes
,7.26 Score |
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i dont know if this is funny or weird 12/8/2003
my ex is the worst liar..i once caught him jerking off to
porn and his excuse was "oh these damn crabs are killing
me" lmao!!
0 Comments, 86 Views,
77 Votes
,1.05 Score |
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The Woman & The Lawyer 11/21/2003
A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married
12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the
bridal suite at their hotel. The bride said to her new groom,
"Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin."
<br>
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought
that at least one of her husbands would have been able to
perform. He asked his ...
0 Comments, 177 Views,
539 Votes
,8.39 Score |
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Pick-up lines 11/10/2003
Man: So you wanna go get a pizza and have sex?
Woman: slaps the man!
Man: What? You dont like pizza?
<br>
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by
again?
<br>
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual
friend who could introduce us
<br>
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning
me down; go ahead say no. ...
0 Comments, 127 Views,
86 Votes
,2.76 Score |
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Great Jokes 10/28/2003
A woman was taking her husband to a retirement home. As she
was driving in the gate she saw three naked old ladies lying
on the lawn. She went to the clerk and said
“Now see here, I want to leave my husband here but when I drove
in I saw three naked old ladies lying on the lawn.”
The clerk said “Oh don’t pay any attention to them, there
just three retired ...
1 Comments, 153 Views,
65 Votes
,7.04 Score |
|
Batteries 10/11/2003
Why is a man better than a vibrator?
<br>
Because the man is cheaper than batteries!
1 Comments, 442 Views,
56 Votes
,4.80 Score |
|
Money Problems Solved! 10/11/2003
Work hard, save money, and your wife will spend it.
1 Comments, 218 Views,
54 Votes
,5.61 Score |
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Men are right! 10/11/2003
If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around
to hear him, is he still wrong?
2 Comments, 136 Views,
86 Votes
,7.92 Score |
|
Blonde 10/11/2003
Why are most Blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.
1 Comments, 254 Views,
66 Votes
,7.19 Score |
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Revenge 10/11/2003
What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around
in pain on the ground?
<br>
- Shoot him again.
1 Comments, 154 Views,
79 Votes
,7.33 Score |
|
Whine 10/11/2003
Why do little girls whine?
<br>
Because they're practicing to be women.
1 Comments, 108 Views,
34 Votes
,4.50 Score |
|
Light Bulb 10/11/2003
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<br>
Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag
about the screwing part.
1 Comments, 180 Views,
40 Votes
,5.87 Score |
|
Time 10/11/2003
What do you do when a woman asks you the time?
<br>
Tell her there is a clock on the stove.
1 Comments, 191 Views,
24 Votes
,1.08 Score |
|
Black Eye 10/11/2003
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
<br>
Nothing, you already told her twice.
1 Comments, 259 Views,
41 Votes
,0.10 Score |
|
Dishes 10/11/2003
How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<br>
None, she can do the dishes in the dark.
1 Comments, 226 Views,
25 Votes
,3.46 Score |
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Directions 10/11/2003
Why does it take 100, 000, 000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
<br>
- Because not one will stop and ask directions.
0 Comments, 147 Views,
41 Votes
,7.39 Score |
|
Snoring 10/11/2003
Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
mating?
<br>
- To stop the snoring before it starts.
1 Comments, 264 Views,
30 Votes
,6.57 Score |
|
White 10/11/2003
Why do brides wear white?
<br>
So the dishwasher matches the fridge and stove.
1 Comments, 512 Views,
22 Votes
,1.44 Score |
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why not laugh 8/28/2003
you know life is so short you should always smile and laugh
and smile and luagh
0 Comments, 268 Views,
42 Votes
,3.16 Score |
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Strawberries Sweet 10/18/2001
Strawberries Sweet
<br>
A strawberries field and a river flawing, where we'llbe goin to meet, every thing red, every thing sweet.
Strawberries at an under your feet at every place all around, strawberries
music, strawbwrries feast, a feast for lovers, lovers
will feast, compete, hearts will beat, lovers to meet, lovers
dawn, and up, lovers dance, and dancing lovers in each
others ...
0 Comments, 478 Views,
50 Votes
,0.75 Score |
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Once Upon A Time... 6/10/2001
I met a man thru the internet and all seemed fine until we
met. He said that he was in sales. I asked what he sold and
he answered vacuum cleaners. We met for coffee after several
e-mails back and forth. When the initial 'date' was over,
I thanked him for a nice time and left with a firm handshake
and a strange feeling. A couple of weeks went by and he asked
me to attend church with ...
0 Comments, 230 Views,
59 Votes
|
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Worlds worst first date! 4/2/2001
For all those people who thought they'd had the worst first
date ever. This was on the Jay Leno show on 9-7-99.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing
first date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
the prize! She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... ...
0 Comments, 572 Views,
435 Votes
,8.99 Score |
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Bloody Short 3/2/2001
No this is not about what you are thinking it is about. I just
wanted to observe that most of the so called "articles"
in this section on Relationship Humor are often one liners
or at best a few sentances. Why? Is it because written communication
is such a difficult thing for many people! If you want to
create a relationship via e-mail then you had better learn
how to express yourself ...
0 Comments, 392 Views,
25 Votes
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Why Is It . . ? 11/16/2000
Why is it, that when a girl dresses up, does her hair, nails,
make up, and puts an all out effort into her appearance.
But, when she does nothing, is feeling horrible, she gets
picked up on? I've found this to be a common complaint or
observation between all my friends and I. We'll have just
gone to the gym, are feeling ill or what not, and are flirted
with. But the minute we try our ...
2 Comments, 275 Views,
20 Votes
,1.59 Score |
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Viagra and Mickey Mouse 5/24/2000
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both have an hour long wait for a 3 minute ride.
0 Comments, 177 Views,
47 Votes
,4.29 Score |
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I'm Done Waiting for Diamonds 1/15/2000
When my mother died six months ago, the only thing she specifically
left anyone in her will, besides her million-dollar estate
that is, were her wedding rings. Now this might be a story
in itself, you know, the bitter old woman, no friends, no
material possessions, 20 year old housedresses she slopped
around in, and beauty school perms (to save money, you know)
who dies and leaves her ...
0 Comments, 172 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score |
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Being Single in a Couples World 1/15/2000
I find it bizarre that someone with my level of beauty, which
is considerable I assure you (if you don't look further
south than the neck), my intelligence, my grasp of the English
language, my college degrees, my money, and my savvy is
still sitting at a computer on a beautiful Sunday afternoon,
when it seems like everyone else on the planet is coupled
off, and browsing in the aisles at ...
0 Comments, 242 Views,
22 Votes
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