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Jessy_Jasinta 48 F
15  Articles
half   2/13/2013

I miss you, half dead You missed me, half-hearted



0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Sirmounts 102 M
5  Articles
Top Ten Excuses For Not Replying To An Email   12/24/2009

Top Ten Excuses For Not Replying To An Email 10.... My dog ate my hard drive. 9...... A sudden attack of arthritis prevented me from writing to only you. 8...... I was on an extensive trip to Siam, Atlantis, and Victorian England. 7...... I was busy ~ and that Was Not Me in that chat room! 6...... I was busy ~ .........and so what if I managed to ...

0 Comments, 16 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
JKH_54 61 M
13  Articles
It's them Blondes !   4/22/2009

A man approached a beautiful blonde at a bar and says, "I'd like to call you. What is your phone number?"

"It's in the phone book, " she replied.

"But I don't know your name, " he said.

She replied, "That's in the phone book too."

0 Comments, 41 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
terryaki 61 M
10  Articles
If is sounds too good to be true...   2/14/2007

You may of heard of the expression warning, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." I am here to say that this is true with relationships! If you think I am being paranoid, best of luck with your relationship with that astronaut. At least you were warned!

4 Comments, 52 Views, 14 Votes ,2.98 Score
RandyTeacher 58 M
13  Articles
The big game hunter.   11/5/2006

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.
But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. ...

2 Comments, 84 Views, 14 Votes ,3.94 Score
RandyTeacher 58 M
13  Articles
The old lady and the bank president.   11/5/2006

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of ...

3 Comments, 111 Views, 14 Votes ,5.06 Score
RandyTeacher 58 M
13  Articles
The Diet   11/5/2006

An extremely obese woman shows up at her doctor's office crying and claims that she has tried every possible way to lose weight, all to no avail. She continues to sob,
"My husband won't make love to me any more. My friends make fun of me. Everywhere I go they tease me. I just can't take it any more!"
The doctor, hoping to help her, proposes a radical diet, ...

2 Comments, 80 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
RandyTeacher 58 M
13  Articles
Abbott and Costello Discover Computers   11/5/2006

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ...

2 Comments, 65 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
RandyTeacher 58 M
13  Articles
Old guys have the hots too!   9/30/2006

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini - "I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed. "Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied. "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars, " he says. "Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!" "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated. "NO! Get away from ...

9 Comments, 440 Views, 57 Votes ,3.76 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
2 ways to be rich...   9/17/2006

There are two ways to be rich. One is to have everything you want, and the other is to be satisfied with what you have.

7 Comments, 86 Views, 31 Votes ,2.76 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
Be always thanksful....   9/3/2006

"If you can't be thankful for what you receive, be thankful for what you escape."

2 Comments, 49 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
1Brazilianguy 56 M
4  Articles
O PADRE GAUCHO   8/28/2006

A barriga do padre crescia cada vez mais. Descartada a hipótese de cirrose, os médicos concluíram que melhor seria realizar uma cirurgia exploratória, já que não havia razão para aquilo. A cirurgia mostrou que era um mero acúmulo de líquidos e o problema foi sanado.
Alguns estudantes resolveram aprontar e, quando o padre estava acordando da recuperação ...

2 Comments, 21 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
quietman6706 47 M
16  Articles
How I Entertain a New Date   8/25/2006

How I Entertain a New Date:
I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY never eaten. I got out my trusty case of MRE's (Meal, Ready-to-Eat). Field rations that ...

7 Comments, 243 Views, 47 Votes ,1.54 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
first and last...   8/14/2006

Men always want to be a woman's first love. We women would like to be a man's last one.

4 Comments, 79 Views, 15 Votes ,4.20 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
marriage...   8/13/2006

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences and stay together.

4 Comments, 57 Views, 19 Votes ,5.50 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
age...   8/13/2006

A wife bought a whole range of cosmetics designed to knock years off her age. After five hours applying the various creams and potions, she asked her husband: "Tell me honestly, darling, what age do you think I look?"
He said: "From your skin, 21; from your hair, 18; from your figure, 23."
"Oh you flatterer, " she gushed.
"Wait a minute, " he said, "I haven't ...

1 Comments, 207 Views, 22 Votes ,5.05 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
Marriage...   8/8/2006

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, the strings are still attached.

4 Comments, 62 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
the prize..   8/8/2006

There was a lovely story in the press this month. A retired lorry driver and his wife entered a competition where the first prize was a holiday for two in Hong Kong. They always wanted to go there. But they got the 2nd prize of "A year of passion." When they received the prize, it turned out to be 365 condoms.
He told a reporter, "I couldn't believe it. I'm 64 and I have a bad ...

1 Comments, 37 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
love   8/7/2006

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE

3 Comments, 78 Views, 16 Votes ,4.74 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
the secret....   8/6/2006

"Gramma, " asked Susie, "some of my friends are in unhappy marriages. You always have such good advice for me. Please tell me the secret to marrying the right man so my marriage lasts."
"Never, " said Gramma, "marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip."

3 Comments, 151 Views, 29 Votes ,3.14 Score
RandyTeacher 58 M
13  Articles
Good Bars   8/4/2006

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!' The others agree that sounds like a good ...

2 Comments, 81 Views, 10 Votes ,2.39 Score
babypower7dk 46 F
76  Articles
tell me more about...   7/10/2006

The young man was attempting to worm his way into the affections of this young lady. "I don't have as much as Donald Trump, " he said. "I don't have expensive houses or cars like Donald Trump. I can't afford to buy you fancy diamonds and pearls like Donald Trump. But I love you."
The young lady said, "That's nice. Now tell me more about that Donald Trump."

1 Comments, 91 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
Ari_fairy 52 F
5  Articles
Do you remember how to use that?   12/30/2005

One of my very dearest friends is often left at home alone as her husband has to travel with his job. He is gone a week or two and then back home. And Michelle is not the bravest woman I know, but I think she may be the blondest brunette I ever met. <br> Her husband was on one of his trips and she was upstairs curled up in bed reading a book (ok, she's an unusual blonde) when ...

7 Comments, 318 Views, 68 Votes ,2.74 Score
Ari_fairy 52 F
5  Articles
You do not!   12/30/2005

Once upon a time I was married...and even happily for a while. My husband had undergone several surgeries on his back and was frequently to be found in bed, resting, because his back hurt. And quite frankly, I sometimes liked to be found in bed....not resting. <br> One evening, our daughter caught us...not resting...and left in some shock and disgust, but I really don't think ...

6 Comments, 443 Views, 44 Votes ,5.68 Score
sab0744 31 F
1  Article
Man!how do u want to be treated   5/12/2005

hey u are a man , how do u like to be treated sometime u r like a big baby , u like clowing and hide.if i treat like this always u will either hate me or u will glow to be a sissie sometime u r like a man , everybody have to recognize u.if u act like this u will become unhuman sometime u r stupid, u will love to be told every thing, women will eventually get tired of u in time. ...

0 Comments, 117 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
Duranie18 28 F
3  Articles
the 'men ' commandments   3/1/2004

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: When a heroic dog dies to save its master. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. After wrecking your boss' car. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". When she is using her teeth. <br> Any Man who brings a camera to ...

0 Comments, 240 Views, 284 Votes ,8.10 Score
Duranie18 28 F
3  Articles
reasons to go out with me   1/29/2004

1-you might actually enjoy it 2-i can usually eat spag boll without getting it all over me 3-cats like me (and dogs) 4-i have never locked myself in a car or any other vehicle 5-i change my toothbrush every 3 months 6-i am not *that* much of an eyesore 7-i am usually able to find wally (for UK) or waldo (for USA) 8-i don't use 'pet names' for body parts 9-I don't drink and drive ...

0 Comments, 178 Views, 63 Votes ,1.78 Score