Dear Angela,
Since my last live-in relationship ended I’ve been dating casually for the past three years. At first, I found the whole dating thing fun and exciting, and I enjoyed having my own space. Now, honestly, I’m getting kinda tired of first dates (and second and third), trying to impress someone and telling the same stories and never getting to that place of comfort and wonderful boringness. I miss happily coexisting with another person. I think I’m getting ready to settle down. Or, at least, to have the comfort of something settled.

Except that I’m in this ridiculous crunchtime at work–I work almost every single day, often as much as twelve hours a day. This busy time has an end in sight, but that end is six months from now. I could stop dating and just wait until I actually have time, except that I’m already beyond lonely and frustrated with this situation.

Sure, I have friends, but it’s not the same. I don’t have sex with my friends, nor do I snuggle with them on the couch. And after a long, hard day at work, there’s nothing more I want than some quality couch time. What do I do if I don’t have time to find a couchmate, but it already feels past time? Is it possible to jump right into that comfort stage, without all the hullabaloo?

–Workaholic in Wisconsin


Dearest WiW,

That’s a mighty pickle you’re in, cucumber! What to do if you don’t have time for the thing you long for most? First, I’d say go easy on yourself, and be extra nice when you’re feeling those lonely singleton feelings. Being friendly with yourself makes anything more bearable.

So, the question is: do you just wait until you have time on your hands, or do you try to squeeze in looking for love even though you’re sick of dating? As I’m wont to do, I’m gonna recommend a happy medium. Take an hour to update your FriendFinder profile, telling prospectives where you’re at and what you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to be honest:

I’m crazy busy at work right now, and what I’m longing for is someone to cuddle up with on the couch, watch TV, and eat takeout. I’ll have more time for wining and dining and adventuring with you in five months, but for now, I’d just love to hang out and chill together. If you’re a cuddle bunny and this sounds good to you, too, let’s meet for coffee. And if that works for both of us, I’ll invite you over to my place for Netflix and cartons of Chinese food.

Often, people think they have to be coy or impressive when they’re dating, but you’re gonna have a way better chance of getting something you want if you ask for it clearly. There are plenty of hotties out there in the same boat as you–workwise, lovewise, energywise–and if the stars align, you just might find one who wants to coast on down the stream of life with you for a while, or even longer. And if you don’t find the right fit, at least you know you tried, and staying true to what you’re truly desiring is good practice, whenever you can get it.

Couch-lovin’ Kisses,
Angela

P.S. Would you rather have the thrill of dating or the comfort of a relationship? The Naked Truth wants to hear what you’re here to find.