Dear Angela,

Last month I wrote to you about how I don't get a lot of responses from my emails to women I'm interested in getting to know better, asking if you could help me learn how to make a better first impression. And - hey! - you actually wrote back to me! Wow! Thanks so much for all the tips about improving my profile picture. I spent a couple of hours with a friend who took new pictures of me and then helped me choose which ones to share, and I think I've definitely made an improvement. Now what?

- Good First Impressions in Georgia



Dearest GFIG,

I like a guy with a little get-up-and-go! Way to take the initiative! One of the keys of successful dating is being willing to put some time into the process (somehow it's the only area of life where people worry that effort is a bad thing, and that mistaken impression can lead to a lot of lonely nights). So first, give yourself a pat on the back for taking steps forward.

Then find a woman you like at FriendFinder and contact her. Here are some tips for a good first contact:

Make it personal - to her. Read her profile and find something that you like about it. Then make sure to mention it in your email. Nobody feels flattered by a form letter - so make sure you don't send 'em to your potential new love.

Tell her something you have in common, if that's readily apparent from something she's mentioned in her profile.

Try to be yourself. If you're a jokester, feel free to try a witty phrase or two. If you're shy, it's okay to be humble (but that said, avoid being self-deprecating in this first email - that can seem insecure instead of funny and charming). Let your personality shine through just a bit. If she doesn't like it, then you just saved yourself an awkward email exchange or first date.

Be warm. A genuine compliment goes a long way. An expression of interest is a good thing. It's okay to put yourself out there a little (for example, "I love your sense of humor and I'd enjoy getting to know you better"), as long as you don't look needy (for example, never write "Please email me back!"). Keep it light but personable.

Keep it short. Partially, this is because you don't want to overinvest your time in these initial emails. There are all kinds of reasons why someone might not respond to you: they may have recently started seeing someone else, or decided to take a break from dating, or have a specific type that you don't fit into. You don't want to spend an hour crafting each careful email. Also, long first emails can sometimes overwhelm people. As a rough guideline, keep your message to 3-6 sentences max.

Always keep in mind that dating is about finding someone with whom you enjoy a nice fit - not about bending yourself to try to fit someone. If she doesn't get back to you, trust that it's for the best, and set about finding someone else to contact. Now get to it, GFIG, and report back to us when you get a response!

Short 'n' Sweet Kisses,
Angela

P.S. What inspires you to get back to someone - or not? Share your first email thrills and horrors with The Naked Truth.

Angela is a semi-official love guru and the author of five books, including Talk to Me: Conversation Tips for the Small-Talk Challenged and Love Tune-Ups: 52 Ways to Open Your Heart and Make Sparks Fly.