1. Get in touch with your inner "Johnny Vegas"
Johnny Vegas is the alter ego we all have lurking inside us. Johnny Vegas walks into a room and owns it. Johnny Vegas doesn't go to parties; Johnny Vegas is the party. Johnny Vegas doesn't look for a good catch; Johnny Vegas is "The Catch." Take the time to get in touch with the side of you that doesn't shrink at a challenge, that stares down feelings of intimidation, and knows how to spread around the fun.
2. Don't let age affect your hotness
Eighteen-year-olds don't own hotness. Sure, they take their fair share of it, but there is still plenty enough to go around. One major quality that hot people have which the non-hot don't is that they don't give away their hotness after a certain age. This doesn't mean that desperately holding on to youth is sexy. It means being hot as who you are right now, whatever age you are. Take a lesson from celebs like Terri Hatcher, Demi Moore, Susan Sarandon, Helen Mirren, George Clooney, Clint Eastwood, and Robert De Niro.
3. Get postmodern and loose the mullet
Get up right now and go look in a mirror. Are you wearing eighties-era jeans that come up to your neck? Are you wearing a shirt that's four years or older? Does your hair resemble Billy Ray Cyrus circa "Achy Breaky Heart”–the pre-Miley fame years? It's all too easy to get stuck in decades past. To update your look, clean out your closet, pay attention to what people in the media are wearing now, and instead for dictating your look to the hairstylist, ask what he/she would suggest for you. Then shoot some new photos and update your profile page.
4. Be authentic
Everyone says be yourself and that's hot. But why? The answer: When you're able to be who you are in any given situation, like a photo you make for your profile, you exude a special kind of confidence. One that says, "This is who I am; if you don't like it, I don't give a @#$%!" Sure, you can appear hot for a while putting on a false front, but the hotness comes with a coat of sliminess that ruins everything eventually.
5. Be envied rather than envy
Envy is a natural human emotion and can actually be helpful at times. For instance, if you envy someone's job, it's a signal that you should be trying to move in that direction. However, when envy gets out of control it can be destructive and dilute your hotness. To avoid over-envying, remember that life isn't a competition about who is happiest. All you need to worry about is making your own self happy.
6. Show your style and substance
The flame blows out quickly on hot people who are all style and no substance. To generate a heat that lasts, you need to let your style and substance come through. The next time you email or IM a member, steer the dialogue toward a subject where you have knowledge or interest, whether it's work or a hobby. You don't need to come off like a know-it-all, just like someone who's got talent and knows what they're talking about.
For example, if you're really into movies, start a blog about them. Or mention one in a group like Television/Movies and share some unique facts about the subject. When the time is right, suggest going to an out-of-the-ordinary movie that your new friend might be interested in–maybe at a romantic little art theater. You can help guide the person through it. Talent is sexy, baby! And as far as the style part goes–don't forget to wear your sexiest jeans–or sexiest whatever–to the movie! Now post a comment and let us know how you do it!
Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C. is a psychotherapist, doctor of education, and author of Profiling Your Date: A Smart Woman's Guide to Evaluating a Man. Find her online at profilingyourdate.com.