Dear Dating Girl,

I hope you won't judge me after reading this letter. I am a 35-year-old man, happily married with two kids. I love my wife and she loves me, yet I find myself sexually attracted to her sister. Her sister and I love to talk dirty to each other. It is just a game and we never cross the line. But things started getting out of hand when she stripped for me as part of a private poker game (all in fun and again, nothing more happened).

I am not sure how my sister-in-law feels, but I dream of her every day and think of how great the sex would be. I do not want a relationship, but I want to get it out of my system.

Don't tell me I am sick or a pervert. I know if we have sex once, it will be the last time, but on the other hand it may not be. What do I do? -All in the Family

Dear All,

Oh, brother-in-law! OK, two things right off the bat: The fact that you ask me not to judge you or call you sick or a pervert tells me you're feeling a little guilty. So I don't have to judge you - you're doing it for me. And second, I hate to break it to you guy, but talking dirty and stripping naked for someone is something. So don't tell me nothing's happened. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your sister-in-law, but I hardly ever get naked with my brothers-in-law. As far as I'm concerned, you have crossed the line. I can only guess that your wife and her sister aren't exactly tight for her to do this type of thing.

I love the part about you thinking you can get it out of your system by sleeping with her. Like it's a flu bug or something. And what do you think your wife will say? (And she will find out.) "Oh, I understand honey, you had to get it out of your system"?

C'mon guy, you're playing with fire. Of course, you can't stop thinking about having sex with this woman. It's like smelling French fries. Even if you're not hungry, you want them. And, as you say, rather than stopping at one taste, you might keep eating until you finish the whole plate. Cool your jets, tell your sister-in-law to cool hers and go figure out why you're not satisfied with your wife's French fries.





Dear Dating Girl,

I recently dreamed that I was the star of a popular teen show, and my ex-boyfriend was playing opposite me. We were married. And then we had sex. I don't want to get back together with him, but he's one of my best friends. Do you have any idea what it could mean? -Bad Dream?


Dear Bad,

Watching a little too much of the OC, perhaps? I don't know about your future in television together, but if you're worried that dreaming of having sex with your ex implies some hidden feelings for him, I wouldn't get too bent out of shape.
According to a book I have called Dreams and Relationships by Nicholas Heyneman (Chronicle Books), erotic dreams are the most misinterpreted of all because we often take them literally. Sex in dreams is often less about sex, according to Heyneman, than about our libido, which represents our energy, vitality and spirit.

"Sex in dreams is symbolic and is often a barometer of the quality of a relationship at any given time," writes Heyneman.

Another dream expert once told me that sex in dreams represents the quality of intimacy in a relationship (sexual or otherwise). If the sex with your ex was good in your dream, it could mean you want to be closer to your ex (not necessarily sexually) or that your ex reminds you of someone you want to be closer to and this is a good thing that you should pursue.

If the sex is bad, it can be a warning that you need to be careful getting too intimate with this person or someone he reminds you of.

I wouldn't get too analytical about this. It may mean nothing. But you might skip the pizza before bed.





Send letters to letters@joseyvogels.com. For more information about Josey, visit Josey's website.