 | This July, EntranceMe is going to be letting us in on her life and her blog. According to her profile, she's a "fun, flirtatious 40-something looking for adventures!" But, being the curious folk that we are, we wanted to know MORE! So we're kicking this off with a good old-fashioned interview. Come along for the ride, and check back all month long! |
What originally brought you to FriendFinder, and what got you started in blogging?
I was lost, lonely, depressed and feeling isolated due to my separation and being in the process of my divorce. When cruising the net I came across your ad and thought, "Why the hell not?" I was in need of new friends, so I joined. FF quickly became my main source of contact with the world at large. It was both my salvation and my escape from the harsh realities of my life. At first I ventured into the Clean Room to chat, and I received a very warm welcome. Little did they know what they were in for once I warmed up to them! I do recall one chatter believing I was a different person under a new handle. How wrong she was! Then, I tentatively ventured into the blogs and tried my hand there. I've always loved reading and writing and true life stories touch me more than anything. I was like a kid in a candy store! I jumped right in and shared myself with the rest of the group. Nowadays, 98% of my time is spent in the blogs. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
How has the FF community impacted you? Positively, negatively, both?
Both really. All in all though, FF has been an incredibly positive experience for me. It has provided me with countless hours of entertainment and company, high jinks, antics, and comedy in the chat room, insight all around via the blogs—not to mention hilarious, devious and fun-filled schemes too. There is a tremendous amount of emotional and spiritual support—FriendFinder is a place for offering and receiving comfort. The greatest benefit of all, though, is that the site has presented me with the opportunity to connect with many wonderful people from all around the world. Without FF, I would not have some of my best friends.
| What do you most enjoy about blogging? Also, do you have any tips on using the blogs as a means of dating/getting to know people? That's a rather difficult question to answer, as I love and enjoy so much of it. It would be easier to answer what I don't like! I admit to being partial to the laughter and good-natured banter. The ability to just let loose and have fun is so refreshing. On a serious side, there is so much raw talent in the blogs and I am quite happy to be an accepted member of this community. I love you guys. Tips huh? Well, whatever a person's reason for being here (dating, friendship, or both) my only advice is to just be yourself, be honest, respect boundaries, don't take things too seriously and ultimately, exercise caution. Flirting is a lot of fun and it can lead to other things; I have seen many romances begin in the blogs. Oh, and leave the drama out of it. Pleeeeease leave the drama out of it! What advice would you give to single moms or recently divorced women about dating online? Okay, I could write a book on this one. Briefly though: Above and beyond all other advice, BE CAREFUL!!! Being divorced or a single mom or both is such a vulnerable position to be in, even if you are just looking to make new friends. Take your time in getting to know a person BEFORE you meet and always listen closely and pay attention to your inner voice and senses. People—not all, but some—are not always as they make themselves out to be. Read and practice "safe dating advice" because knowledge is a powerful tool. Be smart, be safe and most of all, have fun! And then come back here and blog about your funny experiences, 'cuz inquiring minds wanna know! |  |
Do you use FF to date? What do you look for in men on-line? What do you avoid?
I can honestly say I have never used FF for a source of dating—which is not to say I won't at some point in time. And as for what I look for in men, when I do happen to look, well, um, do you have a multiple choice checklist of attributes I can use? Tall, dark and handsome, rich and with a very large shoe size and hung like a...whooooa Nelly, sorry about that! Seriously though, I seek many qualities. When it comes right down to it, I look for an intelligent, compassionate, honest-to-goodness, old fashion kind of man with a touch of bad boy attitude in him and a great personality. As far as what I avoid: Drama kings, insincere jerks, insecure whiners, immature players, trolls, users and liars. Need I go on? I think not. Pssst, read my profile. I believe I am quite specific in there.
Who makes the best friends on FF? Does age or sex matter?
Ummmmmm, I'm telling! You used the word "sex" and the censors are gonna get you!! (Editor's note: Sorry Valorie, editors can get away with whatever they want...!)
The best friends are the ones you connect with best. And, the best of friends are most certainly not gender or age restricted. I have many awesome friends from FF, and a few are best friends, male and female, young and old, alike. I adore each of them for their own unique qualities and what they represent in my life. I believe we look for and attract like-minded people who ultimately become a best friend. A person you trust, respect, protect and love.
How do you cultivate positive friendships with women on the site? I know from your blog that there's been some animosity between you and other women on the site, but I also notice that you have a lot of female friends on FF. How are keeping these friendships different from cultivating on-line relationships with men?
Awww, now why did you have to go and bring this up huh? Well fine, just remember, you asked this convoluted question! Animosity is a strong word. On my side, it has been closer to disgust and dislike and with only one member who appears to have a problem with me. Unless of course you include the one who said she was tired of feeling like an evil, ugly step-sister to me being Cinderella! Or the one who used a man's profile to trick and hurt some other people. All were minor annoyances and I dislike anyone who chooses to act with ill or deceitful intentions. These are not friendships so keeping them different from others, which naturally fall into place, is easy. I don't believe you need to "cultivate" a friendship. This applies to both women and men for I see no difference between the sexes when it comes to a mutual desire to be a part of someone's life. Some fall into place quickly while others develop more slowly over time and with communication. Trust is a major factor!
Ok, it's compliment time! You are very honest and straightforward as an online presence. We think this is a really great thing, and very real of you. But how are you able to manage that? Do you strive for honesty in the rest of your life? Is your blog purely an extension of you, or do you find yourself being *more* honest here?
Ah, geez, shucks, golly... **blushes and scuffs tip of shoe on the floor** Why thank you very much! Be it here or in other areas of my life, I do not need to strive to be honest. I just am. Lies and deception need to be managed, not so with honesty and truth. My blog and the comments I leave are very much an extension of me and who I am. Just ask the many here who have personally met me, spent time in my home, or talked with me on the phone. They will tell you (but don't believe them if they say how crazy I am)! I do admit to holding back certain things—mostly my woes. I hate to sound like I am complaining or calling attention to myself in negative ways. What I do strive for is not to let my insecurities rule my life and direction, which isn't always easy.
What advice would you give to any new bloggers on FF. And, which FF blogs do *you* like to read?
I would suggest that people just be themselves, and to comment and post accordingly. Be open, honest, sincere and don't be afraid of being judged for your views, opinions and feelings. Also, respect others and treat them as kindly as you wish to be treated. Kindness goes a long way. Words, once spoken or written, cannot be taken back—so be careful of what you say and write. Oh, and: don't be afraid to ask questions, reply back to comments left on your blog, and have tons of fun! Yeah, I think that about covers it. For the second part of this question: There are so many blogs I love and do visit quite frequently sooooo, my list would be long in naming names. And should I forget one or more, I would hate to hurt any feelings. I love catchy titles and I like to check out the new additions to the community too. Bottom line is: I read as many as I can!
