| Ups and Downs |
Apr 11, 2008 11:51 am
Mood: anxious, 1229 Views |  | I find reading blogs fascinating, a lot of fun, but also deeper issues to see into...my mind is in a whirl...different emotions, so so happy connecting with a very special person here on FF, it's exhilarating, but at times soul searching...i have to believe it is real, i do believe it is real, but, boy is it hard being so far away from each other....
He suffers too i am sure, needs of others causes confusion...i can only let him know that i care, and will be united with him soon so that he knows what he means to me...
Along side this, Bruce has taken a downward spiral, the last 2 days, his arthritus is bad in his back legs, he's struggling on his walks that he normally so loves and today his body covered in lumps, poor soul...and i am due to go to Spain next thursday for a week, so that will be difficult to leave him, at least he will be with my son and ex-husband who love him dearly...but of course i will not go if he gets any worse...he is far more important than my trip....
Have a great weekend everyone... |
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10 Comments | |
| What shall i do...???? |
Apr 9, 2008 9:45 am
Mood: anxious, 1218 Views |  | What shall i do...?...my daughter works in stables and there lives a cat, who every 6 mths or so produces a litter of 4 or 5 kittens. Last September, my daughter turned up at my door totally unexpectedly with a fluffy black and white kitten, begging me to take her on as she was in danger of being eaten by the 7 dogs that run free at the stables....Oh no, i can't do this, i have Bruce, and yet another tie for me, but one look at her beautiful eyes told me i had to relent..well i was saving her life...
Bonnie i named her, and right away, within minutes she was trying to play with Bruce, and Bruce loved her, he thought it was great fun to chase her all around my flat....it was a sight to see the first night the two of them curled up on the sofa sleeping, her so small, him so large...
As the days passed, i grew to love her so much, i have had cats before, but there was something different about Bonnie, she was so loving, so attentive to me and Bruce. I would be at the sink brushing my teeth and she would crawl her way up my dressing gown and perch on my shoulder to watch me, she was always by my side or playing with Bruce, and i was truly happy to have her with us...
One day though a few weeks later, i noticed her belly was swollen, at first i thought nothing of it, just a kitten full of food, but a couple of days later it grew larger so i took her to the vets. Coldy i was told by the vet that she would have to be put down as she had...he thought....feline peritinitus...i refused to believe the vet, i've never liked them there, they deal with farm animals more than pets, so i went straight to another vets miles away, but, alas, they confirmed the diagnosis and she only had a couple of weeks left.!!!!...i asked to take her home for a couple of days, and drove home with tears streaming down my face...
I spent the next two days with her constantly, cuddling her, sleeping with her, just leaving her when i had to walk Bruce...Bruce sensed all was not well, and he licked her face so much and she didn't mind...it was beautiful but oh so sad to watch them.The day came and i took her to the vets to be put to sleep, i had only been graced with her presence for five weeks, but i was heartbroken, she was so special.I broke down at the vets, my poor beautiful Bonnie gone....she now rests at my sons in his garden, with a beautiful bush of pink flowers to mark her grave, i miss her so much and cry often over her...
My dilema now...the mother of Bonnie at the stables is having kittens again next week, and my daughter has just rang and says she wants me to have one....
Oh God....what shall i do...???? |
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16 Comments | |
| Cooked bunnie... |
Apr 7, 2008 2:20 am
1036 Views |  | Well, i had a busy weekend at work, now home sitting in front of my laptop and wanting to write a blog, but can't think of what to write...something serious, something romantic or something different...so i am going to write something silly today....i stay over saturday nights at my friends to save me a long drive back home then to work again, and she always cooks me a nice meal, so i thought i would return the favour,...i asked what she would like...and she said "rabbit"...well straight away i thought of toneyboneys bunnies..lol..but hey...i love rabbit too...so last friday i bought one, and i was chopping the bunny into pieces, when i had feelings of guilt...but continued on to prepare a lovely stew...so all cooked and took it to work then to my friends to eat saturday night...heated up and all dished up...guess what...i couldn't eat it...thoughts of happy bunnies in my head...so just veggies for me...so strange and funny how things affect my mind....i must be in love... |
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14 Comments | |
| Maybe this next year will be better...??? |
Apr 3, 2008 12:10 am
Mood: optimistic, 1245 Views |  | Well, another year has passed so quickly, as i wake up today another year older, i have reflected on the past 12 months with great thought...
I always try to be optimistic and positive about all aspects of my life, but nothing really seems to change.
When i turned 50 last year, i had high hopes that all the bad times in my life would be banished, and i could look forward to a better future....
Well, lets see....Bruce my dog became very ill, i suddenly had problems with my knee and can hardly walk 500 yds without great pain, and i have to wait several more months til the doctors can operate and things financially never seem to improve...there is just one positve that appears to be happening, and that is connecting with a guy here, but even that is not an easy path as the distance is so great.
It is strange how dreams change so much, since i returned to england just over a year ago from spain, it has been my goal to go to live in spain permanently, that's why i've been learning spanish, then, whoosh, this guy comes into my life that lives over the pond and changes my thoughts and directions totally....but, i tread with care, the internet can conceal so many secrets, as i read here in other peoples blogs, but, a chance, yes a chance to meet my true love....
So, from today, again, i will be positive, as i always strive to be, it's in my nature, and i will follow my heart...i know i would rather try, than have regrets of never knowing if it was meant to be, i really believe this guy is totally genuine, a man with a good, kind heart....here's hoping my 51st year will be a better one this time, and give me the peace, love, and passion that i so desire....
Have a wonderful day everybody.... |
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30 Comments | |
| Poor Bruce |
Mar 31, 2008 10:31 am
Mood: sad, 1278 Views |  | Bruce has been very poorly today and that makes me feel so helpless.....this disease he has is so frustrating....for a couple of weeks he is fine, then for a few days so poorly....Today he just cannot stop scratching, like he has bugs eating his insides...his neck is bleeding, his ears so sore, his eyes so sad, staring into mine as i rub the prescribed cream into his coat....he is sleeping now as i write this, laying across my feet, not wanting to leave my side....i hope he has a good night.... |
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36 Comments | |
| Perhaps Love |
Mar 27, 2008 9:20 am
Mood: rejuvenated, 1005 Views |  | One of my favourite songs...by the late and great John Denver...
Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through
Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when its cold outside, thunder when it rains
If i should live forever and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you
Some say love is holding on and some say letting go
Some say love is everything and some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the mountains, full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when its cold outside, thunder when it rains
If i should live forever and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you.
For my love...... |
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18 Comments | |
| Visions of Summer to come...... |
Mar 25, 2008 3:31 am
Mood: rejuvenated, 926 Views |  | He came into my life
His words a gentle breeze upon my face
His touch as soft as a butterflies wings against my skin
He touched my heart
Opened my passion
He holds my emotions
His tenderness fills me up
His love for me soothes my soul
I hold in my hands this man of mine
Without him i am empty
Together we will be complete. |
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10 Comments | |
| Enjoying the snow |
Mar 23, 2008 6:53 am
Mood: happy, 624 Views |  | I feel so happy today..everything is wonderful....and to top it all, i woke up to thick snow here, and i love it, but more so, Bruce my boxer adores it....and eats as much as he can....i couldn't even tempt him with a special doggy easter egg....lol....i hope everyone has a wonderful day also.... |
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12 Comments | |
| Reassured |
Mar 21, 2008 11:36 am
Mood: hopeful, 593 Views | There is a place for us
that no one else can enter
It is a place that holds no secrets
only beauty, peace and understanding.
A place that we come to
knowing we are one
only to have our souls
fused together for a moment.
And in that moment, i know you,
every pore, every pulse,
every thought, every fear
And i love you more.
I feel myself laid bare before you
and i feel content...
joyous that you are with me
loving me in my nakedness. | |
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10 Comments | |
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