| Maverick's Dictionary Part 2 |
Apr 12, 2008 8:17 am
264 Views |  | ...
Joint-account - an account where one does the depositing, and the other the withdrawing.
Joke - a form of humor enjoyed by some and misunderstood by most.
June - The month of brides, the other eleven are devoted to divorcees.
Jury - Twelve persons who are chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Luxury - something that costs 1 dollar to make and twenty dollars to sell.
Neighbor - One who knows more about your affairs than you do.
Philanthropist - One who returns to the people publicly a small percentage of the wealth he steals from them privately.
Politician - a man who divides his time between running for office and running for cover.
Polls - a place where you stand in line for a chance to decide who will spend your money.
Postscript - The only thing interesting in a woman's letter.
Praise - Something you receive when you're no longer alive.
Prosperity - being able to pay a little more for things we shouldn't buy anyway.
Public Speaking - the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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| VACATION BLUES |
Apr 12, 2008 6:49 am
197 Views |  | ...
just the other day, i ran into a friend at the mall who i thought was in the province for the summer.
"what are you doing here?" i asked
"i had to cut-short my vacation." was the reply
"why?, i thought you wanted to see the country-side, smell some fresh air and kick back?"
"well, its like this..." he started to tell a story...
"The day i arrived at my grandparents farm, one of their chicken was ran over by a jeep. That evening, grandma cooked the chicken. we had chicken "adobo" for dinner."
"The following day, one of the goats got caught and was strangled in the barbed wires, grandma cooked the goat. we had stewed goat for lunch."
"The next day, their horse broke a knee while grazing. grandma cooked the horse. we had smoked horse meat that night."
" so, i still can't get it why you're in a hurry to come home."
"well..." he continued "yesterday, my grandpa was fixing the roof, he lost his footing and fell. he broke his back...i caught the first available bus and immediately went home."
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| PECULIARITY |
Apr 12, 2008 5:55 am
215 Views |  | ...
A man who always stuttered was asked why he did so.
"Its my p-p-peculiarity," he answered. "everybody has s-s-some p-p-peculiarity."
"I don't have any." said the questioner.
"Do y-y-you strir your c-c-coffee with y-y-your
right h-h-hand?"
"yes of course"
"thats your p-p-peculiarity. Most p-p-people use a s-s-spoon."
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1 comment | |
| To BLOG or not to BLOG |
Apr 11, 2008 10:47 pm
349 Views |  | ...
Before I came to blogsville, i was really in a very bad place and was about to give up. Someone i knew from the chat rooms told me she started blogging and told me to check it out. at that moment, i didn't even know what a BLOG is. That very day, i visited the blogs and started reading the posts and comments.
This, i swear to you, i felt an unfamiliar warmth which enveloped me, somehow i felt i was not alone anymore. As i read on, I laughed a lot, cried a little, made me think, made me examine my life. I kept yapping about how my life sucked, until i found out i am better off than the others here in blog city and still hanging on.
My heart leaped when i received the first comment from my very first post. Imagine a little boy who got separated from his parents in a theme park, then finds others who were equally lost and decided to band together, and have the time of their lives. thats the feeling. It was your comments that helped me connect once more, somehow i felt i wont be alone anymore. heck, i still feel the same every time i receive a comment. thank you blogsville for embracing me.
Finally, to that certain "someone", thank you for saving me. You saved me in every way a man can be saved. I hope i can help you with whatever it is you are looking for.
You are and will always be, an inspiration to me.
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12 Comments | |
| I HATE GOODBYES |
Apr 11, 2008 8:49 pm
262 Views | ...
I REALLY HATE IT. IT REMINDS ME HOW ALONE I AM.
IN THE COURSE OF MY NOT SO YOUNG LIFE, I HAVE HAD MY FULL SHARE OF GOODBYES.
EIMEE, I HOPE AND PRAY THAT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU. DON;T SAY GOODBYE, NOT JUST YET...JUST SAY, SEE YOU SOON OR SO LONG...UNTIL HE BRINGS US TOGETHER AGAIN.
THIS IS YOUR HOME, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE HERE.
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3 Comments | |
| DO YOU SMOKE? |
Apr 11, 2008 8:27 pm
250 Views |  | sometimes, tis better to keep your opinion to yourself...
man 1: how many cigars do you smoke a day?
man 2: about ten
man 1: how much do they cost
man 2: about ten dollars a piece
man 1: my, thats a hundred bucks a day, and how long have you been smoking?
man 2: about thirty years, give or take.
man 1: a hundred dollars a day for thiry years, thats a lot of money.
man 2: yes it is.
man 1: see that sports car over there?
man 2: yes
man 1: if you had never smoked in your life, you might own that fine car.
man 2: do you smoke?
man 1: no, never did
man 2: do you own that sports car?
man 1: no
man 2: well, i do.
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4 Comments | |
| ECHO...ECHO...CHO...HO...O.... |
Apr 11, 2008 7:38 pm
219 Views |  | One day a desolate, because he ran out of ideas to write in his blog, decided to go to a nearby ravine.
he steps near the edge and shouts.
man : HELLOOOO !
echo : helloooo...ellooo...llooo...looo...ooo.oo
man : ARE YOU THERE !
echo : are you there...re you there...e you there...ou there...u there...there...here...ere...re...e
man : I'M A FOOL !
echo : i'm a fool...'m a fool...a fool...fool...ool...ol...l
man : I AM HANDSOME !!!
echo : you're a liar...you're a liar...you're a liar...you're a liar...
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2 Comments | |
| IT FINALLY HAPPENED |
Apr 11, 2008 8:12 am
255 Views |  | It finally happened, i have officially ran out of something to say...
waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh.... |
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3 Comments | |
| QUICK THINKING |
Apr 10, 2008 8:53 pm
311 Views | ...
two guys in a parking lot...
first guy : c'mon man, i really need that money you owed me. i'm in a tight fix, you have to do right by me...
second guy: sorry bro, if i had it, you didn't have to ask , you know that...
( third guy comes in, pulls out a gun )
third guy : keep your hands down... don't do anything stupid...give me all your money, thats all i want.
second guy: uh, mr. gunman sir, can you give me a sec?
(gets his wallet from his pocket, and pulls out all the bills, turns to first guy).
second guy: here, thats everything i owe you, thanks.
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5 Comments | |
| HOW DID YOU KNOW |
Apr 10, 2008 6:10 pm
273 Views |  | In case i never get the chance to tell you how i truly feel...about you.
i remember so well,
the day you came into my life.
you.
asked for my name.
you had the most,
beautiful smile;
my life,
started to change.
i'd wake up each day,
feeling alright.
with you,
right by my side.
makes me feel things,
will work out just fine;
how did you know,
i needed someone like you
in my life.
that there's an empty space
right here in my heart.
you came at the right time in my life.
i'll never forget.
how you brought the sun,
to shine in my life.
and took all the worries
and fears that i had;
i guess what i'm really trying to say.
its not everyday,
someone like you comes my way.
no words can express how much...
i love you.
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3 Comments | |
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