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woodlandcreatures
  
stories for old kids
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Old flames Oct 2, 2005 2:12 pm
Mood: restless, 1755 Views
-----Old Flames-----

All my old flames are burning still.
They flicker in a past i don't recall.
All the pictures on my window sill,
Of a time i know, not at all.

I guess this one requires a little explanation.
All my old girlfriends have over the years got back in touch with me (that's quite a good reference i think laydees, they all remember me fondly. I must make quite a nice lover)and they all remember times and events and things i said or did that i have very little recollection of.Are wimmen like elephants? Do you all remember every little detail?I think maybe i have lived my life in a sort of happy little fog.lol.
7 Comments
naming things Oct 2, 2005 2:07 am
Mood: grateful, 1664 Views
I cannot remember names.
Because of this i give everyone i meet a nick-name as a sort of aide-memoir.
All the local squids have been re-christened by me.Mostly the nicknames stick and they are going through their lives with a silly monicker.
This is occassionally unfortunate. Banana Jan (was an appropriate name for a little blonde girl).You can imagine what all the boys think it refers to now she's an 18 year old. Likewise fer sticky Nicky (who was tall and thin as a child)Poor Scaley Caley (who was accident prone and always had scabby knees and elbows from falling off her bike or whatever).Lord knows what people make of her nick-name.
There's Eariwig Erin and frog-faced Amy, Nicky-big ears,Snickers and on and on.
I wonder if one day i'll be prosecuted fer child-abuse.
But the parents don't escape.
There's my neighbour who is 6 foot 7 (you'd love him laydees .Enormously tall , slim and dark) i call him Long Tall Sally (but never to his face) His wife , who i gossip with endlessly and who knows everybodies business, i call her "the oracle.
For years i lived next door to a woman called Charmagne (you'd think i could remember a name like that) I called her QE2 cause when she walked down the path away from you it was like watching a liner going oot to sea. (very big girl was Charmagne).
Even as a child i seemed to have been renaming people. I lived next door to a girl called Evelyn, i couldn't say Evelyn (i was only 3 or 4 at the time). Still to this day she is known to everyone as Yoyo.
You might be thinking "How come you escaped the nick naming".
Praise be to Rolf Harris.When i was a small boy he released a song called "Jake the peg" and from then on i was called Jake by my family and friends and now no-one even knows it's not my given name.(well obviously my parents do). Prior to the saintly Rolfs hit i was known as Jackie-duff Because my name is Jack and i was as a small boy shaped rather like a plum duff- round and squidgy.
I could have gone through life as Jackie-duff (i still have an uncle who calls me Jackie, i never know who he's talking to- oh yeah , that's me).
So i'd like you all to join me now in expressing a great big thank you to the saintly Rolf Harris.
Without whom i'd have been a very different man.
5 Comments
number of the beast Oct 1, 2005 3:41 am
Mood: perky, 1959 Views
My obbsession with numbers has to be tamed.
I play pool on the net every day. Each time i win my rating increases Each time i lose it decreases. It's just numbers but when my rating starts plummeting towards the 1300s i get all angsty. I play slower i check and double check and triple check me angles (and still miss) and when i do clear the table and get to the black it has to be really easy or i'll miss it cause i'm so tense and worried about missing it.In here i check my position in the Blog charts avidly every day. I can't stop myself.lol
I celebrate a comment like it's a goal. I run around my living room with my shirt over me head. I kiss the cat (he hates that).
But to offset my ridiculous obbsession i go round as many other blogs as i can posting comments as a kind of penance (not that i don't enjoy posting on your sites guys)For every comment i receive i post ten. some days i don't even post a blog i just surf around blogdom happily posting.I see it as therapy fer my obbsession with numbers.
Now i'm gonna get me tongue oot me cheek and go post some nonsense on yer blogs.lol Tata the noo
7 Comments
odd little poem Oct 1, 2005 1:19 am
Mood: curious, 1809 Views
All the arcs and curves of her.
All the mounds and hollows.
Set my blood astir, astir
And what most naturally follows.
4 Comments
Gods Sep 30, 2005 4:03 am
Mood: cranky, 1620 Views
Yesterday on my morning cycle i thought i'd cut across me favourite field again (having fixed me brakes properly) and i saw a big grassy mound and thought "hay wouldn't it be cool to ride over that and leap a few feet. It were'nt a grassy mound it were a grass covered, enormous rock. I did leap a few feet but without the bike. Today as i rode round a corner i ran straight into a traffic sign, Once i disentangled meself i saw the sign was fer "road narrows", No kiddin? You think somebody is trying to tell me to quit taking short-cuts?
8 Comments
Tiny poem Sep 29, 2005 1:31 am
Mood: contemplative, 1601 Views
When Autumn surrenders her ruby lips
to Winters cold embrace.
I sit by the fire and think of you,
and long to see your face.
7 Comments
Beautiful Autumn morning Sep 29, 2005 1:28 am
Mood: cheerful, 1412 Views
Well I have avoided the internet pool rooms this morning so no-one has had a chance to dampen my optimism fer a glorious day.The sky is duck-egg blue and cloudless .The air is crisp and willy-shrivellingly cold.The sun is shining like a babies smile. There are flecks of orange and red in the trees as they prepare to don their Autumn clothes (only to throw them off in the middle o Winter. Must be a crap job being a tree huh?Frozen in t' winter and all bundled up in the summer heat).I'm as happy as a carrot in a donkeys bum.
Must check me lottery numbers. I feel lucky.
You may be reading the ramblings of a multi-millionaire (though i'd be more than happy with a tenner).
First thing i'm gonna buy with my millions?
This bit stayed blank fer ages. lol. I can't really think of anything i yearn for. Maybe a maid so i don't have to cook or clean That'd be cool fer a week or so then i'd get guilty about some-one else doing what i should be doing.lol.
Oh well.
What you gonna buy first when yer win yer millions?
Tata the noo.
3 Comments
disgruntled from internet pool Sep 28, 2005 7:23 am
Mood: cranky, 1511 Views
I'm grumpy today. Look at me! Is this not a grumpy face?
The first person i spoke to today on t' net swore at me and called me names before i'd even said hi. (i destroyed his ego and left him running from the room in tears).Fer every nice pleasant person i spoke to there seemed to be two utter twats after them. What is it about me that incites such animosity?
Is it my user name? jakethesnake. Not particularly funny but it rhymes and ain't all that offensive, surely?Is it cause i'm flippant and cheerful?But why the aggression before i type a word?
I'm gonna say it's just a twat day and pay it no heed but really it does colour my mood fer the day.This blog might have been fun and quirky if not fer some anonymous morons who wouldn't dare speak to me in real life with even a hint of disrespect in their voice.
oh well.
Tata from the grumpy Scotsman fer noo.
8 Comments
Undeniably in love Sep 26, 2005 2:35 am
Mood: powerful, 1484 Views
My love is undeniable!
Like hope
Like the tides.
Like the stars and the sun.
(in whom the moon confides)
where-ever is my love,
There is where my heart resides.

My love is unbreakable!
Like a promise
Like courage.
Like the inevitable coming of age
(we cannot hide nor camouflage)
where-ever is my love,
lies my safe harborage.

I added the missing second verse (with the missing line i can't decide on) after fjs comment cause i figure if he likes it maybe it's worth working on this poem a bit.Watch this space lol (Maybe)

okay so here are some possibilities fer the missing () line and i ain't in love with any of them.
(which no holding back shall assuage)
(time is our master and we are in bondage)
(We cannot hide nor camouflage)
(for time shall never be our hostage)
(and time, that theifs', parentage)
(whos' cares you cannot sabotage)
(whos' care-worn lines shall mark your visage)
(there are no returns on this great voyage)
nah still need to work on it huh?
5 Comments
The spectacular case of the frozen Haddock Sep 25, 2005 4:31 am
Mood: curious, 1608 Views
Today i am having Haddock for my dinner.

What kind o fish do you like? And what's the oddest one yer've ever eaten?
10 Comments
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