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woodlandcreatures
  
stories for old kids
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I'm not bragging but....... lol May 26, 2007 3:25 am
1612 Views
I was just adding Scooter to my watch list (I reccomend the Aussie fecker to you all lol) and i noticed i was his 15th watcher and thought "Hay cool i wonder if it says how many watches i'm on in my blog". Feck me! lol 76. Well at first i was worried, thinking yikes i'm not sure i like this sudden burden of expectation, then i was enormously flattered and wondered if maybe most of those watchers have long since left and really there are far fewer in actuality.Then i went back to worrying again lol. Right now i'm not sure how i feel about it.But i feel like i better up my game and write something worth reading lol.
I did go look see that there are only 8 watchers on Steven T squirrels blogs. I shall deffo be rubbing that in the furry feckers face come feeding time in the Woodlands.lol
Anyhoo.
Well this mornin when i went to mount my bertha T bicycle i caught my foot in the strap of my bag which is permanently fastened to the back o Bertha.Realised i was exposing Hamish to the viewing public and in a panic to cover my indiscretion i ended up going arse over tit and ended up flat on me back. Took all the skin off me right knee and lost one of the tassels of me sporran. Not the best start to a day ever huh?
C'est la vie.
Catch yer laters (When i finally think of something interesting to tell all you loverly watchers lol)me darlin terrapinoes.
(Bet you all go take me off yer watch list now just to scunner me lol)
18 Comments
I'll keep trying. May 25, 2007 1:48 pm
1308 Views
We were born for the waves,
My children and i.
For all that salty,
Seductive, sailboats signify.
Me and my Angel daughter
Were born to live
On bread
and water.
Though my son
likes some fun
with his current bun.

Poor muse is looking a bit emaciated lol.
4 Comments
Toons o the week. May 25, 2007 1:07 pm
1199 Views
It's been a while and i know not many of you are interested but what the hay!.
My fave toons o the week are.


Mutya Buena- real girl (If yer not singing along by the end o the song yer deaf, so there!)

Pink- Leave me alone (Intelligent lyrics and a lovely voice)

Kate Nash- Foundations (Kinda Lily Allen for the over twenties lol)
4 Comments
Chicken guilt. May 25, 2007 4:59 am
1686 Views
Guilt has plagued me all my life.I have an over-developped conscience. But some things i feel i am rightly guilty for.
When i was living on a Kibbutz in Israel there was a chicken factory (I know chickens aren't real but bear with me) and one Saturday on our day off the Kibbutzniks required volunteers to load up a trailer with chickens for market and offered us all an extra day off if we helped out. Me and half a dozen ne-er-do-wells agreed and off we went. At the factory we were told just stick yer hand in the cage and get the chickens out and bring them to the trailer. At first us westerners were gently trying to coax the feckers out but it was nigh on impossible and the poor scared things would peck our hands. We quickly realised that with hundreds to load we were gonna have to be less squeamish and amazingly quickly our skins thickened up and we would simply reach in grab the birds legs and hoik it out (no doubt often breaking their legs in the process) Then if they struggled we'd give them a little tap on the head on a convenient post or something. In no time at all we were having competitions to see who could carry the most at one time with not the slightest regard for the poor beasts. I swear 90% of those birds left for market with broken bones and i'm sure many died en route from injuries inflicted by us gentle souls. I really know how easily one falls into the mentality of a concentration camp gaurd. You have a horrible and unforgiveable job to do so you do it as quickly and unthinkingly as you can.Only afterwards did the full extent of our mutual cruelty dawn on us and not a one of us felt clean or decent for many weeks i'm sure. I still feel there's no good deed i can do that will wipe the slate clean.
Well we'll call that number one of my tagged 5 things huh?
I'm gonna go wallow in me bath now and try not to think about what an absolute fecker i was.lol
58 Comments
"I'd like to bring peas to the world" May 24, 2007 1:26 pm
1361 Views
Miss Scotland modelling her new white wabbit sporran (Which appears to be moulting- the fecker!) and her latest skirt.
For her "talent" miss Scotland will be yodelling "Barbie girl" whilst juggling several live (and very angry) Haggisisisis, ehh Haggi.(We've run out of puffins)
18 Comments
Monster Jack and his human slave. May 24, 2007 7:52 am
1210 Views
Here we have miss Scotland. Her hobbies are squirrel-baiting, juggling puffins and eating stuff. She wants to bring happiness to the world via the gift of interpretive yodelling.
7 Comments
Repitition is a sign of bloggy old age, so it is! May 23, 2007 8:10 am
1390 Views
I've been trawling through the back pages o me blog (don't ask lol) and i thought i'd repost this 'ere ditty from back when i used to write sweet little odes.
I'm still wondering were the feck my muse has got to?lol

Undeniably in love.

My love is undeniable!
Like hope
Like the tides.
Like the stars and the sun.
(in whom the moon confides)
where-ever is my love,
There is where my heart resides.

My love is unbreakable!
Like a promise
Like courage.
Like the inevitable coming of age
(we cannot hide nor camouflage)
where-ever is my love,
lies my safe harborage.
12 Comments
Sporran fever. May 22, 2007 1:59 am
1168 Views
Here's a piccy of my latest eeeeby gum bay purchase. I got it fer me best boy but i kinda like it and i'm seriously tempted to keep it lol I wonder if Fern T feline will forsake her old love and fall fer this one when it arrives (My girly cat is in lurve with my current sporran)
I keep a cornucopia of treasures in my sporran. It's worse than a wummans handbag so it is. I even keep a pack of emergency condoms in there. Now that really is the triumph of optimism.lol.
Catch yer laters me darlin terrapinoes.
13 Comments
Kinda forlorn. May 21, 2007 5:44 am
1171 Views
My Angel daughter still thinks i can fix things, mostly her maw and i guess while i'm around i do take charge and organise her life and keep her sober but the truth is nobody can fix another person. It's just not possible.So i keep temporarily fixing things as best i can till the next time.But my Angel thinks if i would just stay everything would be okay and we'd all live happily ever after. She'll be 16 this year,i guess she'll grow out of her idealism soon enough huh? Best to let her think her paw is superman for as long as i can.
I wonder when it was i realised i couldn't fix the world the way i wanted it? Seems like a long long time ago now.But i'm sure once i beleived the world could be beautiful and wonderous if only people would behave.
Yer all a bunch o feckers so you are!lol
10 Comments
Ginger minger whinge. May 15, 2007 2:33 pm
1452 Views
Gawd but i loathe that ginger twat from CSI Miami. He is such a dreadful actor and that patronising faux intelligence and the pointless hesitations and moronic posing just make me wanna slap the feckin eejit.
Sorry i just had to get that off me chestickles.lol
(But i'm madly in lurve with Caley so i tolerate him fer her sake. Am i not a lovely man?lol)
14 Comments
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