empty.
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Posted:Dec 11, 2007 8:11 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2009 1:33 pm 4383 Views
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mehhhhhhhh.
Fern T felines tail forms a perfect question mark. I wonder if she's a Batman villain?
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My brain doesn't work till it's full o caffeine.
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Posted:Dec 7, 2007 4:55 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2014 8:06 am 4446 Views
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... "and that's how Pythagoras invented pies."
Bottom o the bag bits.
Let us never stoop so low
as other men are pleased to go,
for in our stooping we transform
from happy King
to slave forlorn.
In unclaimed guilt
In shame denied
In treachery
In truth belied.
(Dunno where i was going with that lol)
So anyhoo.
Yay it's the weekend. You all got yer dancin' and romancin' pants on? I shall be prowling the toon in search of new species to canoodle so i shall. Too much information?
Catch yer laters you loverly people you.
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The return o the barfman.
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Posted:Dec 6, 2007 6:02 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2017 3:18 pm 4343 Views
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"And then the frog stole my shoes."
Well i felt okay enough to go to t' pub and visit with my beloved bandito. Yes i am a lucky fecker! lol Walked out with 15 more squirmy squids in me pouch than i walked in with. One o these days they're gonna ban me huh?lol
Well today for the third time someone has mentioned that in here my current profile piccy makes me look like i'm just about to burst into tears. How odd the perceptions people can have of a piccy huh? I always think it makes me look like i'm just about to tell a smutty joke (and i probably was lol) but i guess we interpret with regard to how we feel aih? If you're not happy i guess you see sorrow in my eyes and if yer a cheery fecker you see laughter.
Which do you see?
And anybody who says they see a gormless ugger is gonna get spanked.lol
Kissys.
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I love food but it don't love me no more.
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Posted:Dec 4, 2007 6:53 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2007 6:20 am 4185 Views
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"....No my leg had more toes on it."
Okay so eating yesterday wasn't such a good idea after all. Welcome to vomit city - please wash your hands and wear a mac.
But i'm a determined little fecker if nothing else so i'm gonna give scoffing another go in about half an hour.Wish me luck (and take cover)
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Sick as a sausage.
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Posted:Dec 3, 2007 9:35 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2007 5:59 am 4700 Views
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.... "and then the police had to coax it out with a biscuit".
So somehow i managed to catch my wee bro' Gow and my best girl Princess's stomach upsets.A vomitus a trois.I guess you really can get viruses off yer pooter.
Been gushing forth from both ends since Saturday morning.Well at least today i've stopped chucking and poopin' but then i've eaten nowt for 60 hours so there really isn't anything left to hurl (i hope).Actually i do feel alright to maybe eat something now but Gawd i am as week as a kitty cat. You could knock me over with a brick so you could.
Cacth yer laters you healthy feckers you.
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,'me're and let me bite yer bits.
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Posted:Nov 30, 2007 5:21 am
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2007 10:01 am 5020 Views
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15% of Americans secretly bite their toes.
This fact raises some questions don't you think?
Like.
WHY!?
I myself notoriously eat my own toe-cheese (MMMMMM tasty) but i draw the line at self-canibalisation.
And secondly.
How do they know this?Who researched it and for what earthly reason?
Life just puzzles me sometimes so it does.
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White box man justifies attempted vehicular homicide lol.
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Posted:Nov 29, 2007 5:34 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2017 3:25 pm 4245 Views
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Well no shabby white box with wheels sent me to my maker this morning but i did meet the moron who nearly knocked me down yesterday while out walking.He unbeleivably, approached me and said "By the way the, "safety laws"? say you should be wearing bright clothing so you can be easily seen."
I don't beleive it.He tries to run me over and in his head it's become my fault.Obviously the fact that i didn't punch his lights out yesterday has somehow given him the idea that he can push his luck with me.
No he can't!lol
"It was broad daylight, you had an hour to see me in and you simply weren't paying attention or you just didn't have the patience to wait a micro-second. Those are the only two options you cretin.You don't get to blame me for your dangerous stupidity mate.That's all down to you."
"But, but it says you should wear bright clothes."
"I'm a large man in a friggin kilt! I could have been wearing a flashing belisha beacon on my head and flourescent pantaloons and you still would have ignored me!"
"But, but mutter mutter"
Does it mention in your "Safety laws" that it's a good idea for you to pay due care and attention to the traffic on the fricken road mate?"
"Mutter mutter" as he bid a quick retreat.
Why oh why is the world so littered with buffoons? This guy is in his 50s so he was educated before politicians realised that a stupid society is easier to mislead and went about destroying the education system, so the guy has no excuse for being a retard. I despair of mankind so i do.lol
Not over-reacting nor nuffin here.
Catch yer laters you loverly well-educated feckers you.
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Mr popular.
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Posted:Nov 28, 2007 8:30 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2017 3:27 pm 5518 Views
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OOOO i just noticed, for the first time in over 2 years i've dropped off the bottom o the blog chart thingy.lol
How the mighty have fallen. I was once the King o the blogs i'll have you know.lol
C'est la vie.
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Gawd has plans for me.
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Posted:Nov 28, 2007 8:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2017 3:36 pm 4326 Views
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For the last two mornings i've been within inches of being knocked down.Both times at the same crossroads and both times by a shabby little white box with wheels.The first morning my potential killer was a middle-aged woman who waited, as i was turning right, till i was abreast the front of her car before she decided to stick her foot on the accelerator and barely missed the back of me Bertha T Bike.She looked at me as if i barely existed and sped off.This morning, same make of shabby white box with wheels, this time i was turning left and the bloke driving this murder weapon couldn't be bothered waiting for me so decided to drive across the junction and me, missing me again by inches.This time i was heading the same way as him and so ludicrously i pursued.I saw him indicate right to go up a cul-de-sac so i cut through the lanes and miraculously caught the fecker.As i pulled alongside his box initially he tried to pretend he didn't see me there.So i banged hard on his window.He cracks it open a few inches and i see a terrified little man desperately trying to apologise.lol I actually felt sorry for him for a moment, i must have been a scarey, angry looking sight.I told him to show a little patience and consideration for other road users and pointed out that simply owning a car doesn't mean you own the road.
Anyhoo, these things happen in threes so i'm a bit worried about tomorrow. Third time not so lucky maybe?lol Make the most of me while you have me guys.lol
Kissys laydees, Manly handshakes menfolk.
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I'm blinder than the average bear, so i am.
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Posted:Nov 27, 2007 3:51 am
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2017 3:37 pm 4422 Views
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On me morning cycle ride i usually pass my little hovel once or twice on me wanderings.This morning as i approached my home i saw the black blob that is Jack T (handsome) Cat sitting outside my neighbour, Jock's house. Knowing the furry-faced fecker has not an ounce of road sense and fearing that if he spotted me he'd run across the road to mewl at me as he likes to do before breakfast ("Where's ma food!Where's ma food!WHERE'S MA FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!")i kept as far into the hedges and was as quiet as i could be so as not to attract his attention.Just as i was about to go out of his sight and round a corner i see the window cleaner come out of Jocks garden and pick Jack up by his handle?
Huh?
I'd actually been hiding from a bucket.In the history of the world do you suppose anyone else has ever tried to sneak by a bucket before?I really need to start wearing my specs when i go oot aih?
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