Poultry denying.
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Posted:Oct 5, 2015 3:57 am
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2015 4:27 pm 13088 Views
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I am unashamedly poultrifically incorrect. I will not pretend chickens are real, no matter whit thebrain-washed minions of big poultry say. They can all cluck off!
Here i post an extract from the woodlands bibble.
Steven T Squirrels letter to the terrapins.
Ho there ya wee feckers! How they hangin? Aye so it's true that once the world was ruled by chicknens an advanced, intelligent species whit come from Kentucky and ruled by the power of the beak but then the world wuzz hit by a nasty roid whit kilt aw the diner sores and most o the vegetation.But sage and onions proliferated and became the standard diet o the poultrianna. But to gain enough new tree ants they had to eat large quan titties and became stuffed and almost imobile. The human monkeys saw this and began to catch the chicknens and throw em on the barbie n eat them. Eating the inteligent poultry made the monkeys smarter and soon they invented religion and politics (which is just religion without the gawd bothering). They made the chicknens their Gawd but they tasted so good that eventually they had eaten them all and decided to cover it up for all time by pretending that dwarf turkeys wuzz really chicknens and anyhoo it'd be better to make a man their Gawd so they invented Christ (It's no coinkidink that chicknen and christ have the same beginning)
Anyhoos am off tae the pub. Catch yer laters.
P.s. You wanna see ma tail? It's all big and sticky-uppy.Go on ah know yer wanna stroke it.
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1
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uninspired
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Posted:Oct 5, 2015 3:54 am
Last Updated:Jun 25, 2016 2:09 pm 10208 Views
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My juices have run dry
and no matter how i try
to force saliva to my tongue
i cannot sing as i once sung.
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1
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bits o pomes
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Posted:May 13, 2015 7:23 am
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2022 12:01 pm 10585 Views
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Bits of poems sittin in me bag and on the verge of disintegrating so i best post em somewhere or lose em forever and whit a catastrophia that'd be right?lol
Catastrophia.
Playing Joseph to some Mary
who's pants are tamper-proof.
Lusting after lady-parts
then finding you're a poof.
Bite into an onion ring
and find it's really squid.
Perform a task that no-one wants
(and someone else just did)
Buy the latest gadget
for cooking in a trice
then find within a fortnight
it's half the bleedin price.
Make yourself a monument
to modern fecking man
then find that what most women want
is just a buck to breed a clan.
I was never a soldier
I was never a soldier.
I was never brave.
Others met the world with calm
I'd just rant and rave.
While heroes gazed horizonward
took chances and took lovers
I was busy cowering
'neeth my smelly sweat-soaked covers.
Life seemed almost burdenless to those
whose courage did not lack
but time bore down upon my bones
and broke my stupid back.
Oh i was never a soldier
I was never brave
No doubt i'll still be trembling
when they lay me in my grave.
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1
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passed maw
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Posted:Jan 12, 2015 9:10 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2015 1:38 pm 6935 Views
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R.I.p. Mrs Isabel Lashbrook. She wuzz a Braw maw till the faerys took her away.
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1
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Commenting is so much effort.
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Posted:Oct 15, 2014 8:29 am
Last Updated:Sep 4, 2018 1:57 pm 8604 Views
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5 posts and not a single comment.If you ever wondered why blogging is dead there's yer answer lol.
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6
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Geedots third burfday pome
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Posted:Oct 13, 2014 7:55 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 8:6 am 7857 Views
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I used to be two it's true
i can't deny it.
But now i'm three,
Three at last
and being two and all that pooh
is firmly in the past.
Being one was lots of fun
and being two was fabby
but being three is gonna be
betters than bein a babby.
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0
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muddle puddle shmicklecake
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Posted:Oct 8, 2014 7:00 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2015 1:38 pm 6195 Views
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It's a bit o a muddle but whit-the-hay.
Modern times
Each man bears his forebears
better than they might.
Just because they've left this world
doesn't mean they're right.
As for me and thee my friend,
i have it in my mind,
our and their
may think on us less kind.
We who brought destruction, poverty and want.
We who wrote our history
in a very smaller font.
We cannot hope for mercy
when say our name.
For we are a pointless populace
obsessed with wealth and fame.
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big boobies
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Posted:Oct 5, 2014 5:48 am
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2015 2:38 am 5550 Views
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Fear unconquered
I'm your beloved monster.
I darken your door each day.
I have a knack for nuisance
and getting in your way.
You say i'm not invited
to come inside and play
but this is where i rule your world.
So this is where i'll stay.
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Hurry
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Posted:Oct 2, 2014 9:29 am
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2014 10:02 am 5650 Views
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I saw an ad for a sale on me t.v. that advised "hurry ends tomorrow" and being literal-minded i thought "Wouldn't that be a good thing"
HURRY ENDS TOMORROW.
Hurry ends tomorrow.
Rush may soon be slow.
Stop might be quite de riguer
when you find your "good to go"
Speed may chasten haste one day
for being more than wanted.
Time may leave his 'plane earthbound
(and lethargy affronted).
The minute hand may trip the hour.
The second hand may dawdle.
Life you see is fashion led
and weds the latest model.
Whit in Gawds name is in any way bigotted about this post you bunch of ff halfwits?
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Walking you home.
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Posted:Sep 14, 2014 12:10 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 8:6 am 5773 Views
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It's barely a distance at all dear,
A cockroach might call it a walk.
Less than half of one mile dear,
In which we can quietly talk.
Words might fill up the space dear,
As we acquit such a burdenless chore.
The stars in the sky may well smile dear,
As we wish that the distance were more.
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