Hopeless advice
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Posted:Mar 12, 2009 3:59 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 4:37 pm 6178 Views
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-----HOPELESS ADVICE TO THE HOPELESS-----
Don't think, don’t ponder, don’t contemplate,
Don't find things to complicate.
Don't chase the moon or the stars.
Be content with the way things are.
Don't pine, don’t long, don’t yearn.
Don't hope for things you cannot earn.
Don't take risks, trust to luck or chance.
And don't even try to dance.
Don't strive for beauty, be happy with pretty.
Don't be a star, be a celebrity.
Don't try to compensate for things you lack.
Don't love anything that won't love you back.
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2
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Rude poem.
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Posted:Mar 12, 2009 7:01 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 4:40 pm 6347 Views
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-----RUDE POEM.-----
Move closer and grab a cuddle.
Squeeze my bum and squeal.
Get confused, get in a muddle.
Choose another part of me to feel.
Let all your inhibitions melt.
Remove all your matrons’ attire.
Put on your tiniest skirt (or just a belt)
And tell me your rudest desires.
Purr for me pussycat,
Hiss and scratch and bite.
Squeak and say you are my lap-rat.
Do what you know is wrong (‘cause it feels so right!)
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1
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Afterglow
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Posted:Mar 11, 2009 4:59 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 4:41 pm 5892 Views
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-----AFTERGLOW-----
Friction burned
and achey-backed
Yawning-tired
and empty sacked.
Dissipated
Sated
Used and abused.
You had your way with me.
Sleepy-eyed
and tousled hair
Unclad, naked
and utterly bare.
Unsuitable
but beautiful.
Sweet treat.
You found me full
and left me empty.
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3
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Course work
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Posted:Mar 11, 2009 9:11 am
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2020 2:34 pm 5716 Views
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I am occassionally asked (surprisingly often really) to write a contentious piece to prompt discussion.This 'ere was written for t' Open University degree i completed many moons ago.Sadly no-one has ever disagreed with it so i guess this is a failure lol.
-----ARE THE SCOTS A UNIQUE BREED?-----
It is generally accepted that the Scottish nation have provided a disproportionate amount to the world. From inventions and discoveries to literature and poetry the Scots voice is loudly heard.
Were I to list the notable achievements of the Scottish race I would need considerably more paper and while it would no doubt impress the reader, it would not necessarily make my point. Yes the Scots are extraordinary, but why?
Things uniquely Scottish (or almost unique) for example, are, the kilt, bagpipes, regularly drinking to excess, haggis, deep-fried chocolate bars and “Ir’n Bru (a noxious fizzy concoction used as a hangover cure)
Not really a lot of clues there though.
Education perhaps is a more pertinent line of enquiry. Very often combined with poverty this would lead to a great desire to better oneself, with the knowledge and learning to achieve that aspiration, Necessity being very much the mother of invention.
Poverty took many of the brightest and best abroad, hence we can claim the first Prime Ministers of Canada and Australia were Scots, there are Scottish signatories to the American declaration of independence, most of the “British Empire” was won and run by Scotsmen.
Still no particular uniqueness there though.
Perhaps in our philosophers we can find a more helpful insight into the character of the Scots.
It appears that what the Scots philosophers have in common is a strong grasp on reality and common sense, dismissing airy-fairy theories and holding to the ordinary and simply provable. Probably the best known of our philosophers, James Frederick Ferrier, (1808-1864) argues that “we have a direct knowledge of reality, both spiritual and material”.
This does appear to be a familiar attitude of well-known Scots, a strong current of logic and reason, dismissing superstition as unhelpful nonsense (many of the “de-bunkers” of spiritualism, clairvoyance and magic have been and are Scots) Though perversely the Scots are a notably superstitious nation we have produced many scientists, engineers and academics, displaying a somewhat contradictory national characteristic.
In truth it is more reasonable to suggest that if the Scots are truly unique it is as a result of many sometimes contradictory factors, from the changeability of the weather, financial poverty, educational wealth, superstitious religiosity and down to earth reasoned logic. History shows that Scots are often at the forefront of human endeavour. First to accept new concepts and first to find applications for those new ideas.
Perhaps it is that. Our willingness to go on journeys, both literal and imaginative, that makes the Scottish nation unique. There is very little timidity in the Scottish nature. One of the very few nations on the globe who have never been occupied by a foreign power, the bravery of the Scots is legendary (as is our willingness to join in a fight at the drop of a hat) and few but the least charitable would gainsay the statement that “the Scots are unfamiliar with cowardice and are brave, often beyond reason”.
What makes the Scots unique?
The courage to be unique!
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1
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adrift
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Posted:Mar 10, 2009 4:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2011 3:04 pm 5802 Views
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---UN-ANCHORED LOVE-----
Love is not fixed,
anchored like a tall ship in a bay.
It infinitely changes day to day
And is as varied in flavour as ice-cream.
Sometimes it's bitter-lime and green
Sometimes sugary-lemon sweet
Others, a passionate strawberry treat.
Even vanilla-plain has its day.
Every conceivable confectionary
will fill your heart some day.
But no matter how you might pray
For unchanged diet and constancy,
Love is never, ever "the same".
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Mathematical love
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Posted:Mar 10, 2009 6:18 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2011 3:04 pm 5734 Views
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-----MATHEMATICAL LOVE-----
I have proven
by algebraic calculation.
Should you and I,
simply disregard pi
X and Y
Equals elation
I'll disprove
E=MC squared
if the result is you and me paired.
I'll turn the world of math's
right on its over-sized head
If it means I and you
end up in my bed.
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2
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Having, have, had.
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Posted:Mar 9, 2009 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2009 8:47 am 5481 Views
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-----HAVING HAVE HAD-----
Having chosen the path of least resistance.
Having taken the road most traveled.
Having only heard the voice of most insistence.
Having seen all my mysteries unraveled.
I have lived a life of predictability.
I have lacked in talent and ability.
I have rested on what laurels I had.
Always last to follow the latest fad.
Had I chosen differently.
Had I chosen recklessly.
Had I only been able to see.
Safe, isn't how life is meant to be.
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1
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Eat, sleep, dream poetry.
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Posted:Mar 9, 2009 8:45 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 4:43 pm 5745 Views
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-----EAT, SLEEP, DREAM POETRY-----
She takes a rhyme
and tosses it ear to ear,
Juggling the words till the meaning comes clear.
She eats alphabetti spaghetti before she goes to bed
So when she wakes in the night,
there's poetry running through her head.
She lives her life in rhythm and rhyme,
Tries to make her whole life scan,
And it rankles her endlessly,
the asymmetrical nature of man.
She wants the world to be a poem
Not some vulgar piece of prose
And the fact that it isn't,
really gets up her nose.
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2
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Better to give.
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Posted:Mar 8, 2009 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 4:43 pm 6104 Views
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---Better to give-----
I gave you a promise and a ring.
You gave me an itchy rash.
I gave you a big chocolate "thing".
You gave me the lash.
I gave you a nice new home.
You hoiked me out before the paint had dried.
I gave you a silver brush and a silver comb.
You gave me back my fish-fried.
I gave you encouragement and optimism.
You gave me mockery and derision.
I gave you the future in a pretty vision.
You gave me a bloody big heart-shaped incision.
I gave you a car and a
You gave me a thank you note
I gave you a lucrative divorce
You laughed at the poetry I wrote.
I gave you diamonds and gold.
You gave me second-hand cake.
I gave you the profit from the soul that I sold.
You called me Jack but my name is Jake.
I gave you laughter and smiles.
You gave me grimaces and gurns.
I gave you forbearance measured in miles.
You gave me a winkler that burns.
I gave you unconditional love.
You gave me the instructions for the washing machine.
I gave you all I could reach, below and above.
You gave me a todger that's slowly turning green.
I gave you wisdom and sagacity.
You gave me the horoscope from the "Sun".
I gave you innocence and simplicity.
You gave me little joy and even less fun.
I gave you romance and passion.
You gave me boredom and tedium.
I gave you the latest fashion.
You gave me perfumed odium.
I gave you chips and crispy duck.
You gave me an opener and a tin of cat food.
I gave you bracelets and charms for good luck.
You gave me a coat with a ginormous hood.
I gave you lessons in English and Maths.
You gave me a course of Penicillin.
I helped you comprehend algebra and graphs.
You gave me a pie without the filling.
I gave you the beautiful words in my head.
You gave me the voice of the gutter.
I gave you the Sunday papers and brekkie in bed.
You gave me a twitch and a st-st-stutter.
I gave you all my attention
You gave me a nod and half a smile.
I gave you things I barely dare to mention.
You said my suggestions were vile.
I gave you my place in the sun,
You gave me extremely subdued lighting.
I filled your oven with a beautiful bun.
You said, you wished I’d stop writing!
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1
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Arboreal emotions
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Posted:Mar 8, 2009 8:15 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 4:46 pm 5966 Views
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-Arboreal emotions-
I am a tree, and when you touch me,
my human ,
it does horrible things to me.
Infects my bark, pollutes my sap
and for a decade I’m dizzy.
I am a tree, and you my human ,
are the wrong species for me.
Perhaps a lovely shrub or even a little Anemone,
Would be a passing comfort to me.
A little bird to roost snugly in my arms,
Has its undoubted charms.
But you my human ,
you are the wrong species for me.
Yet I yearn, over the century, so much for your company.
Though you, my human ,
are the wrong species for me.
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