| enjoy |
Aug 1, 2008 7:03 pm
Mood: crazy, 166 Views | You might be a Taliban if...
Our troops in Afghanistan prove they've retained their sense of humor
with the following. 'YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF . . . '
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've even had a crush on your neighbor's goat. | |
|
1 comment | |
| funny |
Aug 1, 2008 2:30 pm
Mood: disappointed, 159 Views | The Blonde in the Casino.
An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand pounds on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude".
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and Yelled,
"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...
"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are stupid and not all Blondes are Dumb,
But all Men are Men. | |
|
0 Comments | |
| hope you enjoy |
Jul 28, 2008 4:07 pm
Mood: disappointed, 161 Views | One hot summer day, a redneck came to town
with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the bar for a cold one.Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the bar and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The redneck said it was his.'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said The redneck replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that
shade tree.'The policeman said, 'No! You don't
understand. Your dog needs to be bred.''No way,' said the redneck. 'That dog don't need bread. She ain't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin'.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand; your dog wants to have sex'!
(You gotta love this)The redneck looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog. | |
|
0 Comments | |
| to amazinggrace1954 |
Jul 25, 2008 6:07 pm
Mood: depressed, 173 Views | hello my dear friend . i read the poem . it is so true . i my self have felt the pain of a friendship fadeing away .
i hope and pray each day that it will some how spring back to life but now i am not shour .
you are my friend grace and i love as friends do . you never went away for long and i was always happe when you returned .
i fear the other one may never .
PEACE and LOVE to you my friend . | |
|
0 Comments | |
| Anniversary trouble |
Jul 24, 2008 2:36 pm
Mood: hopeful, 185 Views | Subject: Anniversary trouble
Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift
in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT
BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife
woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on
her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the
house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rick has been missing since Friday - please pray for him! | |
|
0 Comments | |
| hope you like |
Jul 24, 2008 2:05 pm
Mood: contemplative, 174 Views | A woman in her fifties is at home, unclothed, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?'
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.
The husband replies, 'What did he say about your 55-year old ass?'
'Your name never came up,' she replied. | |
|
0 Comments | |
| this is how every girl should be treated |
Jul 23, 2008 9:16 pm
Mood: yup, 245 Views | To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait"
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her. ....
To every guy that she cried in front of...
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.....
To every guy that would give his seat up...
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore...
And because of this, there are not many left out there...
I guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image
If you are a nice guy pass this on with:
"This is how every girl should be treated."
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way
pass this on with: "To Every Guy | |
|
2 Comments | |
| for you |
Jul 23, 2008 3:14 pm
Mood: scared, 212 Views | Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT.........
Sisters are there,
no matter how much time and how
many miles are between you.
A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended
family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
I just did.
God Bless each and everyone of you!
For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace... Isaiah 55:12 | |
|
3 Comments | |
| we are friends |
Jul 22, 2008 5:23 pm
Mood: hopeful, 174 Views | SUBJECT: BUDDY CHECK
Think about this for a minute..
If I happened to show up on your door step crying,
Would you Care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something Happened,
Would you come?
If I had one day left, to live my life;
Would you be part of That last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on,
Would you give me Yours?
This is a test to see who your real friends are or
If you are just some one to talk to you when they are bored . .
Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?
They blink together, they move together, they cry
together,
They see things together and they sleep together,
BUT THEY NEVER SEE EACH OTHER... that's what friendship is.
Life is lonely without FRIENDS.
It's 'world best friends week'.
Who is your best friend?
Send this to all Your good friends.
Even me, if I am one of them.
See how many you get back.
If you get more than 3 then you really are a lovable person...
Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate!!!!
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN | |
|
0 Comments | |
| sex facts |
Jul 17, 2008 10:38 pm
262 Views | sex facts
Body: Having nice sex burns 358 calories.
Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.
Take off her clothes
with her consent...........12 cal
without....................187 cal
Take off her Bra
With two hands............8 cal
With one hand.............12 cal
With mouth................85 cal
Put on Protection
hard .....................6 cal
soft......................315 cal
Foreplay
Looking for target........8 cal
Finding G spot ...........92 cal
I don't F***ing care......0 cal
Entry
Holding her...............12 cal
On the floor...............8 cal
With Different Position
Missionary..................358 cal
Doggy.......................316 cal
69 lying....................286 cal
69 standing.................512 cal
Italian hanger..............912 cal
Orgasm
Real.......................112 cal
Faking......................315 cal
After "O"
Lying in Bed................18 cal
Hop off the bed.............36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off......816 cal
Get dressed
Quiet and calm................32 cal
Rushing.......................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.... 1218 cal
Heard her dad at the door.........1942 cal
Her mom walking in................Priceless!! | |
|
1 comment | |
| To link to this blog (ghost1955) use [blog ghost1955] in your messages. |
|
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
1
|
2
|
3
|
41
|
5
|
6
|
|
71
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
