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so THATS what blokes think about......
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Jul 3, 2009 12:37 am
311 Views
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ok, so after reading the Asian Carrie Bradshaws respones to a reply i put on her blog, i thought it was time we got a few things straight..........
Now i really really hope i get some male support on this or i could end up spending the rest of my life single and on an analysts chair.....
so, Ladies, so THIS is what a guy thinks about....
1. THreesomes...its a fantasy, EVERY Guy has at sometime in their life imagined having sex with two stunning women, yesss we KNOW its probably never going to happen, were not so stupid in most cases as to jepordise a wonderful relationship we may have to carry this out, and we KNOW 21 year old twins are difficult to come by..its just a thought that enters your head, youve never thought about shagging BRad Pitt (fill in your own actor/singer? ??? theres no difference !!
2. Cars...dream cars, ferraris astons, porsches et al....most guys love cars....who wants to explain the psyhcology behind it, exotic fast cars can make even the geeky great ! thats your fault girls !! there was a recent survey in which they sat an average looking guy in a boring family saloon and asked 50 women to say how good looking he was, they repeated this when he was sat in a Ferrari with another 50 women..he got the best scores when he was in the ferarri !! get the point ?? lol
3. Football....i love football, sorry thats the way it is, when you were all playing my little pony, i was kicking a football around the streets or watching football on TV..and im sorry i dont want to meet a female football fan, i cant explain why, its just not natural to go out with one...i cant imagine sitting with a gf watching the match ! there has to be differences between the sexes !!
So Ladies, Carrie Daphershaw in particulary, are you really telling me you dont have fantasies, dreams imaginary scenarios you sometimes wander to ? and you dont really know how simple blokes are, or wish we were !
Now this isnt exhaustive nor definitive, some guys aren't into this stuff..and i hardly drink, im a kind (often too kind) very compassionate and thoughtful BLOKE..and theres the rub, i am ALL these things....
and finally, you girls, especially in europe and the states i guess have all sorts of wonderful sexually stimulating contraptions, regardless of your marital staus....what do we have ?? thats right, MR Left hand or Mr Right hand...and YES...us blokes do that too......
Men are men, women are women..were different, thats life..and thank god we are 
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Results of the great sticky undies experiment......
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Jul 2, 2009 9:26 am
265 Views
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thnaks for everyone who entered, all 3 of you..hmmm and, as the weather in the UK today has been hitting 32C and ive been driving all day, i thought id give all the entiries a try....so, as is traditional, the results will be in reverse order.....
in third place....
...Drum roll
suspense killing anyone yet ? lol
in third place its....
THONGS..actually, its thrid place by default as i dont have such an item as i really cant see them offering too much in the way of support....though researching them on the net has, i must say been fun....
in second place......
Meditation....i sat quietly and contemplatively (hmm not sure thats the right word) in my van this morning, breathing in and out, balancing my yin and yang and filling my body with chi..and do you know what ? it was over 30 minutes before i had my first road rage incident !! ...wow, amazing, thanks Ms Poet ..ahhhh on the negative side, my undies were still stuck up the crack of my backside in less than an hour.....
so....the runaway winner is.............
Munchy's Talcum powder...luckily, i still had some left from a dubious gift set some great aunt of mine gave me at xmas..thats xmas 1977, i really do need to de clutter....so, i liberally sprinkled it on my bum...a feat in itself...rubbed it in...and you know what ??? RESULT !! no sticking for hours....
on the downside, i stink like a new born and my trousers are white, and every time i sit down there's a sudden whoosh and a cloud appears, but...thats not the point....it acheived the aim !!
So thanks to all contestants....ist prize was dinner with me, second prize was 2 dates with me and third prize, a life time of smelly feet and the toilet seat left up....
thanks for reading, everyone have a wonderful day....and a new modern dilemma will appear shortly
MArtin xxx
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when its hot and humid...........
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Jun 30, 2009 9:27 am
252 Views
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just a quick post, having just returned from a quick blast to SE Asia, a question ive been meaning to ask for a long time....
its simply this...when the weather is hot and humid, why the hell dont the locals sweat ? theres me wandering around like a partly done lobster thermidore and..ahhh next question, more importantly, how do you cope with your underwear sticking to your backside ?? its so embarassing to have to keep stopping to rummage south to retrieve ones undercrackers from embedding themselves deep between ones arsecheeks...(asscheeks for the Americans) ......just wondered, answers on a postcard please, no prizes.....
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A christmas blog.............
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Dec 16, 2008 2:33 pm
416 Views
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i was going to start by sharing some gratuitous smut about santa only 'coming' once a year and 'emptying his sack' but i thought nooooo....im more sophisticated and mature than that....then i thought noooo again, im not..anyway.......let the real blog begin........
just want to wish everyone a peaceful and happy holiday season, and say a big thank you to all my wonderful amazing friends here on FF...without you, i would most definitely be pushing up daisies now....
thank you..i owe so many, so much...
love and best wishes to you all, and your families..
may your gods go with you
Martin x
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to any guy contemplating marriage........
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Nov 14, 2008 1:34 pm
599 Views
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dont waste your time...its only going to end up in heartbreak and divorce..so, to save you the hassle, simply find a woman you dont like and give her a house  saves all the hassle and expense of getting marriedin the first place !!
im not really a cynic although i sound like one lol...id love to be married again..i miss it so much, exceot this time..to someone who doesnt fuck my so called friends 
Marriage, when youre truly in love is a beautiful intimate institution, and i guessthat growing old has no fear for you when youve someone to grow old with...
All offers on a postcard, the winner will be drawn at random lol...well....possibly as good a way of choosing as anyother going by my record lol...
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If you own a metal detector go to.........
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Nov 14, 2008 1:17 pm
549 Views
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Scarborough in noth Yorks, UK..now as well as being just about my most favourite place on earth, its the place i seem to throw unwanted jewellry into the sea....
Reading Royalpurples sad blog about her lost diamond sort of got me thinking...
so, in 1998 i was deeply in love and decided..at the age of 32 ! i wanted to spend the rest of my life with this girl, so, i bought a ring..an engagement ring..it was soo beautiful. 3 stunning diamonds on a platinum band, so..the day arrived and i proposed...not quite the one knee thing..it was a bit of an anti climax really...anyway thats a story for another day...so..being a man, of course id bought a ring that didnt quite fit, so she gave me it back to get altered....while the ring was being altered the relationship ended..again, another story for a nother day..maybe lol !! a few weeks, ahe called me out of the blue, and asked me when her ring was going to be ready !! Shed broke up with me and still wanted the ring !!! id forgotten all about it in my intense grief and heartbroken condition !! so, i got it back from the jewellers..took it to my fav. thinking place, by the sea at scarborough..and after sitting there in the beautiful wild cold night air for hours, i threw it into the sea boy did i feel good....it felt like an end and a new beginning..of course my friends thought i was crazy..although they think that anyway..but, the point was, the ring was bought for someone...it could never be owned by anyone else even though i could have sold it....i called her up, told her what id done and she went mad lol lol...suprisingly !! (NOT) that was the last time i ever heard from her.....6 years later..my wedding ring went into the sea at the same place lol...boy theres some serious blinged up fishes down there lol ! anyway..there is a point, and im finally getting to it if youre still awake....
diamonds, jewellry etc are only things..they are material, but they are usually given with sentiment..so to lose such an item, as Royal purple has is a realy sad thing to happen..you dont just lose the item, you feel like the sentiment has gone too...which kinda worked for me, as thats what id intended....
So...anyone fancy going on a treasure hunt...for a small fee, ill tell you exactly the place i threw them
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should i share ?
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Jul 21, 2008 3:14 pm
800 Views
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..and should i really share on here what i really think about myself ???
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un itled
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Jul 21, 2008 3:11 pm
796 Views
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Today is a bad day, today is one of those days when i ponder my fate and whether my aimless wanderings and goaless life has any meaning..today is a day when my usual existance of living alone and working alone gets lonely.
Today is a day when im im mortified by own self pity, when the quiet frightens me rather than gives me freedom to think, a day when i see my age and feel my age, and see changes that i only ever saw in others older than me.
I reflect on my purpose and wander if im good, or bad, ask myself how others judge me, whether what i allow people to see is a pretence or the real me, and if i am a fake, an actor, a person who covers his real self which he knows is no good with a shiny bright exterior, to fool himself as much as others...
or, is what others see the real me, and who i think i am the fake me....
When i think about it, in my past i dwell on the bad times, the mistakes the stupid things ive done, my weakness. I know ive done good things, i just never seem to remeber them, or i wdoubt whether i did a good deed simply to make myself feel good about myself rather than out of true compassion..
What if, deep down, im just no damn good...
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and by the way....
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Jul 19, 2008 10:07 am
781 Views
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i just realised, wandering around blogsville that there are at least 7 (ones that ive seen already) copies of the lyrics to the song Hotel California on ppls blogs...what is it with that song ??? i dont get it, in my opinion its boring and lasts 5 minutes too long lol....ohhh to be clever and deep 
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