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Brucey's Semi Private Thoughts
  
Just random ramblings.
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Still Some More What Women Really MEAN Translations :) Jun 17, 2006 9:14 am
Mood: devious, 859 Views
Here are some more. Only a few of these are the same as on the other list. What women REALLY mean when they say:

"It's your decision."

(I told you what I want. Why are we still debating?)

"No, I'm not upset."

(Of course I'm upset, you clueless jackass!)

"Our medicine cabinet is so small."

(I want a new house.)

"I'll be ready in a minute."

(They will have installed a new pope by the time I'm ready.)

"I don't want to talk about it now."

(But I will give you an earful just as you're settling in to watch the game.)

"Do what you want."

(But there will be hell to pay later.)

"We need to talk."

(You need to listen.)

"We need to talk."

(I need to complain.)

"We need to talk."

(We need to break up.)

"I want a sensitive man."

(I want someone else to do the housework.)

"Fine."

(Not fine.)

"Nothing."

(Something.)

"Can I ask you a question?"

(Whatever I say next is going to make you very uncomfortable.)

"No, pizza's fine."

(You will not be having sex with me tonight.)

"I just don't want a boyfriend right now."

(I just don't want you as a boyfriend right now.)

"Do I look fat in this dress?"

(We haven't had a good fight in awhile.)

"I just need some space."

(… without you in it.)

"I like you, but …"

(I can't stand you.)

"You can be very mysterious."

(Are you sure we're legally married?)

"I hope we never stop surprising each other."

(I'm having an affair with your brother.)

LMAO! Hmmmmm I don't know ANY women who say these things
4 Comments
And Still Some More Translations of What Men Really Mean:) Jun 15, 2006 9:02 pm
Mood: devious, 846 Views
What Men Really Mean When They Say...

I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice boobies!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it... We'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it... We'd better have sex now!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
(While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress and let's go home and have sex!
3 Comments
Hahaha and of course the women cannot escape that easily :)LOL! Jun 14, 2006 11:21 am
Mood: devious, 895 Views
Hahaha and right underneath the "what men really mean" are the "what women really mean" quotes. These are also hilarious

WHAT WOMEN SAY
AND WHAT THEY MEAN

Yes
(No)

No
(No)

Maybe
(No)

You want
(You want)

We need
(I want)

It's your decision.
(The correct decision should be obvious by now.)

Do what you want.
(You'll pay for this later.)

I'm sorry.
(You'll be sorry.)

We need to talk.
(I need to complain.)

Sure . . . go ahead.
(I don't want you to.)

I'm not upset.
(Of course I'm upset)

You're...so manly.
(You need a shave and your sweating)

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
(I am woman!)

This kitchen is so inconvenient.
(I want a new house)

I want new curtains.
(and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper . . .)

I heard a noise.
(I noticed you were almost asleep.)

Do you love me?
(I'm going to ask for something expensive.)

How much do you love me?
(I bought something today you're really not going to like . . .)

Is my behind fat?
(Tell me I'm beautiful.)

You have to learn to communicate.
(Just agree with me.)

Do you like this recipe?
(It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.)

I'm not yelling!
(Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important.)

I don't want to talk about it.
(Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.)

LMAO Hmmmmm I don't know ANY women with these traits
9 Comments
In all fairness. :)LOL! Jun 14, 2006 11:15 am
Mood: devious, 750 Views
Okay here is a series of quotes made by men and what they REALLY mean. LOL! Once again I found these, so don't shoot the messenger. I think they are hilarious.

What Men Say ......
& What They Really Mean

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"OOH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was looking at that redhead over there ."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F. Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday, our kids' birthdays, and our anniversary date."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

My gawd, some of these are sooooo true LOL! hehehe of OTHER men of course.
2 Comments
hahaha okay now I DIDN'T make these up. :) Jun 14, 2006 8:49 am
Mood: devious, 814 Views
Okay, this was what I was looking for yesterday and couldn't find. I saw this a couple years ago and thought they were funny but if you're touchy just remember I didn't write them, I'm only reprinting them so don't shoot the messenger.

This is the official dictionary translation of certain expressions that women use in personal ads:

40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous..................................Slept with all your mates
Athletic..........................................No t*ts :laugh:
Average looking.............................Has a face like an a*se
Beautiful....................... ................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...........................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure........................On medication
Feminist.........................................Fat
Free spirit...................... ...............Junkie
Friendship first..............................Former sl*t
Fun................................................Annoying
Gentle............................................Dull :shifty:
New-Age........................................Body hair problems
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.....................................Sloppy drunk
Poet...............................................Depressive
Professional...................................B*tch
Romantic........................................Frigid
Voluptuous.....................................Very Fat
Large lady......................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate............................Stalker
Widow............................................Murderer :laugh:
4 Comments
What They're REALLY Saying :) Jun 13, 2006 3:21 pm
Mood: devious, 878 Views
Okay here are some funny translations of what they REALLY mean when people say these at bars. These aren't mine by the way so please don't shoot the messenger here. LOL!

Bar Translations

1. "YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME."

(We won't be here long enough to get another round.)

2. "I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU."

(Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next

round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)

3. "HEY, WHERE IS THAT FRIEND OF YOURS?"

(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your

attractive friend into a compromising position.)

4. "CAN I GET A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL." (FEMALE)

(I'm easy.)

5. "CAN I GET A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL." (MALE)

(I'm gay.)

6. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (MALE TO FEMALE)

(I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)

7. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (FEMALE TO MALE)

(If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the

ride home?)

8. "I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME." (FEMALE)

(You are paying more attention to your friends than me.)

9. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME." (MALE)

(I'm horny.)

10. "WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?"

(I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at

diverting attention.)

11. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO MALE)

(Get the hell out of the way.)

12. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO FEMALE)

(I am going to grope you now.)

13. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO MALE)

(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)

14. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO FEMALE)

(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that

pretty, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here

dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you,

bitch,like the slut you are.)

15. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?"

(What's cheap?)

16. "CAN I HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN?" (MALE)

(I'm really gay.)

17. "CAN I HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN?" (FEMALE)

(I'm really easy.)

18. "THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR."

(Did I sleep with him/her?)

19. CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER?" (FEMALE)

(I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)

20. I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (FEMALE)

(I'm 16 .)

21. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (MALE)

(I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .2 after my

last visit here.)

I love #6 Tooo funny. #12 and #14 are funny too.
5 Comments
The Little Annoyances of Life We Can Laugh At. :) Jun 13, 2006 8:38 am
Mood: amused, 901 Views
Okay we all know what they are but I'm going to list some of them anyway just for fun. I'm talking about those little annoyances that we encounter in everyday life.

1) You go to make a sandwich and there's only one piece of bread left.

2) There are never enough checkers in the grocery no matter what time of day you go.

3) People break every traffic rule and get away with it, but the cop gives you a ticket cause your license plates are two weeks overdue.

4) You want to buy hot dogs and buns, but buns come in 12's or 8's and hotdogs come in 10's. So you either buy 6 packs of hotdogs and 5 12 bun packs, or you buy 4 packs of hotdogs and 5 8 bun packs. Can't these people get together or anything?

5) No matter what traffic lane you get in, it will always have the idiot with the stalled car, or the road construction in it.

6) If you are in a hurry you will miss EVERY light.

7) If you are having fun, someone will say something stupid and ruin the evening.

They ALWAYS get your order wrong at the fast food place, ALWAYS.

9) Ever notice how it is faster to walk in to a restaurant and order than it is to go through drive thru?

10) There are people you can never please and usually they are your supervisor?LMAO!

11) Is it just in my town or state or do they close every major thorougfare for construction at once in your town too?

12) Why do I need to pay $25.00 to someone for me to go in, tell them what's wrong with me and they agree with me? LMAO!

13) Why does gasoline jump 50 cents in a single 12 hour period when it's the same gasoline that was in their tank the night before?

14) Why are there so many infomercials on television? I can't imagine ANYONE desperate or bored enough to watch an hour long info-mercial. LOL!
6 Comments
Brucey's 1st Summer Numerology :) Jun 8, 2006 6:53 pm
Mood: devious, 856 Views
1-Day until karoake Friday. Woohoo
2-People I kind of miss talking to lately.
3-People I have a crush on still.
4-Weeks until the 4th of July
5-People I think I've IMed with today.
6-# of people I'll probably IM tonight. LOL!
7-# of days until I move to my new apartment.
8-# of cheesecakes that Deb owes me.
69-# of days of Summer Vacation ahead Woohoo
84-# of friends in my FF friend network.
117-Population of Spudville, Idaho after two hamsters left LOL!
299-# of members of my romance group.
350-# of women who love me. LOL! (I wish)
8 Comments
Midweek of First True Week of Summer. Jun 7, 2006 11:49 am
Mood: contemplative, 866 Views
Hmmmm, been running an errand or two today and mostly relaxing. It's hot here today, I think the low 90's. We don't have a very long Spring here. It pretty much goes from winter into summer.

Went to sing last night. Had fun and ended up singing 5 times. I sang Wonderwall, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Wake Me Up When September Ends, The Gambler and The Wanderer. LOL! Kind of an odd mixture I realize but I do those songs well.

The President is here in the big O today believe it or not. He's here to talk about his immigration plan.

He comes to Nebraska a lot. I think it's because Nebraska is a very solid conservative state and he knows he'll get a warm reception here.

In this case he's making a big to-do of visiting Hispanic sites and areas of the city. Hahaha for most of it just means don't try to go towards that part of town because it will be all blocked off.

Ha, just kinda waiting around for payday Gotta budget my money a lot more carefully now because I'm trying to save up for things.
8 Comments
Synchronicities and Coincidences. :) Jun 6, 2006 8:35 am
Mood: amused, 892 Views
Synchronicities are very strange occurrences that happen to people when they have chance meetings far from home with people they know or have known. These happen to me all of the time and have happened to friends and relatives. Some people believe they are mystical and others merely write them off as coincidences.

Still they are fun to think about. One of the most interesting ones involved my daughter. She lived in Miami at the time and was invited to a wedding. At the pre-nuptial dinner one of the bridesmaids began talking about this funny teacher she had back in junior high in Nebraska. My daughter said, "What was his name?" and she said my name and my daughter said, "That's my dad." Well of course the woman thought she was joking but when my daughter insisted with a straight face, the woman freaked out. What are the chances that you're sitting at a prenuptial dinner in Miami and the conversation happens to turn to a teacher and it's the father of someone else sitting at the table?

One time my older brother was in New York for a chess tournament and was walking down the street and ran into our first cousin who also happened to be in New York on the same street at the same time.

In 1993, my son and I went to Colorado Springs and as we stopped to get gas, a young man at the pump asked me if I was a teacher and it turns out he had been in my classroom in the 7th grade. LOL!

So what do you think of synchronicity? Coincidence or does it have some mystical significance?

Also have you ever had any strange synchronistic events happen to you?
4 Comments
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