| twoginslater |
Apr 6, 2008 9:10 pm
1300 Views |  | Do you love me better
now that I am gone,
no longer the ear
of your sweet morning song?
I am word-restless
and about strung out
all wrong
in played tones
that are better said.
Do you know me better
in the white space
of my poems? |
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14 Comments | |
| Berzerk |
Apr 2, 2008 7:54 pm
1306 Views |  | Ten foot tall snow drifts
pillow puffs of cigarette
shiny golden buckles
rainbow diamonds
pony tail boxes
and one he1l of a berzerk
GI Joe |
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14 Comments | |
| Ravenous Lengths |
Apr 1, 2008 1:46 pm
1253 Views |  | Dreams, it seems, are novels we have not written. We cannot escape the places that ensnare us, cannot move about with will; they are too much like the unpainted stroke or the unspent word. We should never know what happens next.
Alice spun as fast and glorious as a child's fairy tale, and behind her was left a land deep in wonder by the shuddering instance and simultaneous lack of her. She became a pixie, a dragon, a tinkerbell soaring through her childhood bedroom, leaving a whispered trail (like fairies must) upon each story she encountered.
Bobbsey Twins and Nancy Drew, even Archie flew in whirligigs, tangling with the curtains, fighting off the ghosts that slunk about the willow tree just outside the window. Old and faded construction paper books fluttered open, her pensive girlish scrawl revealed after years in hiding - a hundred cats leapt out. An old man grimaced even as he faded.
And still Alice could not land. Characters stretched their ravenous lengths to grasp her, calling for her capture. Her ears whirred as alarms were raised and villains' voices charged her with some mutiny. An avalanche of books and stories poured from the walls. And she began to remember. |
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12 Comments | |
| Between Two Books |
Mar 30, 2008 7:37 pm
1312 Views | To never land is part of the dream of falling and even in the dark confines of her sleep, Alice knew where she was going. The cards were not always in perfect agreement about trajectory and direction and Alice had been flung in wild dissension, held mid-air, like a child's buttercup caught in the farewell of wind.
The paper fluttered a soft goodbye as Alice careened away. The Queen's comeuppance itself became a distant trail she soon forgot. Caterpillar's voice was now rooted; text-deep and held back, he watched - even as she soared.
Space between the pages is a soft landing each night into your bed. But between two books, the air expects some decision it cannot make alone.
Travel is perilous. | |
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10 Comments | |
| Recap: Bones Parting Earth |
Mar 30, 2008 6:19 pm
1270 Views |  | I think it is more than a little odd that I wrote this just three days before my own mean fall. I wonder at times the power of our brains to just know...
Ever-patient, Alice waited for her landing. In some small way she knew that it would come too soon, but in what heart could fill a Queen, she knew the beauty of being grounded.
But not nearly quite that fast.
She could not have imagined the feeling of metal splitting wood but would forever now encase herself in that single memory of flesh splitting air, of bones parting earth, even deep into their decay. Alice slid. And rolled and skidded and tumbled until her skirts wrapped in ragged leggings around her. She fell at all odds and ends, a bruised lump, and became a crumpled mushroom drying in the morning sun.
Consciousness forsook her for many hours. The earth circled endlessly; birds flew with golden trinkets spread fluttering beneath them, the trick-treasure of Alice's hair; trees flailed an island-echo and hovered. Alice slept the mind-less sleep for nearly a day and a night.
Yet still
she flew. |
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10 Comments | |
| Translucent sproutings |
Mar 25, 2008 5:00 pm
1750 Views |  | Like pain, epiphany too will ebb, leasing itself in parcels put out to distant memory.
"I figure I can have just one cigarette." My synapses are just too well established, I argue with myself.
I've been waiting nearly three weeks for smoke.
I feel myself begin to curl inward again like a nocturnal tendril sliding across the forest floor, so embarrassed that spring has rushed its growth it hides in night-time flowerings. Excuses begin to leech against my early skin, forming translucent sproutings, sucking shyness and introversion once again to the surface. Will I recognize my new self, I wonder, in one year's time...one month's time? Will I have forsaken my death-clutch on early demise? Winter looms.
Now I know I cannot write without some truly selfish acts to set the precedent. Wine and smoke and dark silent hours are my craving - and who will that ever help? To sit alone and maybe write one line one day that means a little something is most likely the anti-epiphany my words are marked to bury. |
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26 Comments | |
| Like morphine |
Mar 24, 2008 7:02 pm
1571 Views | What goes through a mind that is sudden torn from its day to day expectancies, thrust deep into some bleak unknown, a mind pressed close against the body, bonded - mind and body - by instant change and pain? In pain do our brains instantly form new pathways, are neurons fired across previously vast and empty spaces?
We must make sense of it, our brains struggle and leap toward new lessons, we have to ask: what are we suppose to learn? We know instinctively that pain and disappointment, sadness and shock have made us a better person. We do not accept anything less than epiphany because, of course, we've been had. We've been used in some nonsensical comeuppance we certainly can't have deserved and therefore our reward must be a fuller understanding of some universal truth. Has to be.
"I've quit smoking," I said.
"I think...I really think I've figured it out. It's about helping other people, isn't it?" Tears pool like morphine toward my broken body.
I smile.
I can no longer write. | |
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18 Comments | |
| Home |
Mar 11, 2008 12:52 pm
2425 Views | Hi...just thought I'd drop a note to say thank you to everyone for your warm and heart-felt wishes. Having friends you know are thinking of you truly makes the healing process go smoother.
I got home on Friday and though I've stopped into ff, I haven't been up much for blogging. I've really focused on my PT and each day I can feel myself getting stronger and the pain ebb a little more. I've also busied myself with a little work email style and that has been really good for me. I have to say gowerboy has kept me on my toes, too, checking up on me. I couldn't ask for a better friend.
If anyone would like to email me, please feel free - if you know my email or you can get it from Ari. I'll be at looser and looser odds and ends as the weeks pass by, I am sure.
One thing that drives me crazy? I can't clean my own house! | |
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49 Comments | |
| Another today |
Mar 5, 2008 5:33 am
1905 Views | Just wanted to let everyone know that I had my surgery and despite an awful night of pain, I am going to be just fine.
I am looking forward to PT and not looking forward to PT at the same time. Ah well.
Thank you all for your warm wishes and positive thoughts. | |
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20 Comments | |
| Today |
Mar 4, 2008 6:42 am
1782 Views | I know my brother, aka BigFarts, commented about my recent mishap. I finally can log in and post, so thought I'd let everyone know how I am.
On Friday night I slipped on a very icy manhole cover and was unfortunate enough to break my hip. Today I am having a full hip replacement. Not something I expected to happen to me at the age of 40. Hip fractures can occur due to injury. Many people think they occur primarily because of bone deterioration, but that's not always true. I don't know for me if it was a bit of both, but I do know I'll be taking really, really good care of myself from here on. My family and friends have been incredibly supportive. I must've gotten 20 emails from co-workers yesterday, and flowers and phone calls. And my mom arrived from Florida yesterday to take care of me. I am feeling pretty lucky, despite the obvious.
I am loved.
Anyway, I'll keep you all posted.
Peace,
Mary | |
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15 Comments | |
| To link to this blog (elaine67) use [blog elaine67] in your messages. |
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