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GENIUS BOYFRIEND Mar 3, 2008 5:22 am
143 Views
A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it."

"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month."
0 Comments
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN (how true!) Mar 3, 2008 2:45 am
193 Views
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
4 Comments
HOW MANY WOMEN Mar 3, 2008 1:30 am
195 Views
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.

"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"

"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".

Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.

"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13.."
4 Comments
MATH LESSON ( professor cheats his wife.) Mar 3, 2008 12:21 am
120 Views
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
0 Comments
boy got tricked by girl. Really?? Mar 2, 2008 11:22 pm
230 Views
One day this girl, who is wearing a skirt, goes out to play with her friends.

She goes to the park and meets a boy. They talk about climbing trees.

The boy says to the girl: "Go on climb that tree."

The girls climbs up and the boy just stands there and looks up to the girls pants.

After a while the girl goes home and tells her mum about what happened.

Her mum says: "oh my stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The next day she went out again with her skirt on and met THAT boy again.

He told her to climb again and she did.

when she got home she tells her mum what happened again and her mum says: "My stupid girl he just stood there and watched your pants."

The girl replied and said: "No actually I tricked him, this time i did not wear any pants!" Have a beautiful week,
6 Comments
It pays to be famous! Mar 2, 2008 10:28 pm
202 Views
It pays to be famous! But this one requires an extra courage. A man went to a pub with his wife. When he left for the counter! A prostitute approached his wife and whispered quickly to her "You must DEMAND cash before sex! I know him... He doesn't pay!!!"
6 Comments
Don’t Despair Feb 28, 2008 3:21 am
114 Views
Do not despair
for our God is here
to carry you through
the storms you’re facing.

Trust in Him for He is good
and His love for you
is everlasting.

Should you get lonely
draw closer to Jesus.
Fellowship with Him
and spend time in prayer.

When you are weary and heavy laden,
cast all those cares upon the Lord
for He alone can lift the weight
of all those troubles
that are bearing you down.

You will find He’ll show you the way -
He’ll carry through
and brighten your day.

Through Jesus you can find rest
and peace for your soul
and He will ensure
that you’re on the right road.

Jesus alone knows your heart’s cry
and He wants to comfort you,
and stand by your side.
Let Him into your heart today,
He’ll take up your burdens
and show you the way.

Make Him the cornerstone of your life
then you’ll receive
everlasting life.

He will gather your children together
and protect them like a hen
that has gathered her chicks
under her wings.

Under the shadow of His wings
you will find a shelter
from life’s storms.
0 Comments
Don’t Quit Feb 28, 2008 2:08 am
208 Views
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worse,
that you must not quit.
10 Comments
I’ve Learned Feb 28, 2008 1:42 am
178 Views
I’ve learned….
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned….
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned….
That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” That makes my day.

I’ve learned….
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world

I’ve learned….
That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned….
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned….
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned….
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned….
That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned….
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned….
That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I’ve learned….
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned….
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned….
That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

I’ve learned….
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned….
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned….
That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned….
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned….
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned….
That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned….
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned …
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
6 Comments
Two Becomes One Feb 28, 2008 1:05 am
186 Views
Tonight
As darkness falls
Upon a moon kissed weary earth

Stars sparkle in ebony skies
Dancing in sweet rhythm
To our whispered words of love

Two bodies wrapped together
In a sensuous lovers embrace
A deep hunger for each other
So plain to see upon each face

Each heated touch
Each fevered kiss
Kindles white hot passion
Brings oh such bliss

Two hearts come together
Now to beat as one
Two souls joined forever
Two bodies become one
6 Comments
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