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Why Some People Have It All Nov 12, 2007 12:09 am
134 Views
How many times have you met people who seem to have "it all" and yet, all they do is complain about how bad they have it? Then there are others who in spite of having to cope with unusually difficult challenges see themselves as fortunate and even blessed. I think this goes further than simply letting a smile be your umbrella. Rather it's the deeper perspective they hold for themselves and the world around them that colors every event and interaction of their daily lives. For those who see the glass as half-full, the voice is a friendly one. However, wouldn't it be great if those who live in a world of half-empty glasses could change their perspective to bring more joy and satisfaction to their lives?
0 Comments
Sand and Stone Nov 9, 2007 6:39 am
189 Views
A story tells that two friends were walking through
the desert. During some point of the journey they had
an argument, and one friend slapped the other in the
face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without
saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST
FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an Oasis, where
they decided to take a bath. The one who had been
slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning,
but the best friend saved him. After he recovered from
near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST
FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend
asked him, " After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand
and now, you write on a stone, why?" the other friend
replied " When someone hurts us we should write it
down in the sand where the winds of forgiveness can
erase it away. But when someone does something good
for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can
ever erase it. "

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE
YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but
then an entire life to forget them.
0 Comments
Tests Fs Nov 9, 2007 6:35 am
244 Views
How perceptive are you?

Count the "F's" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...(see below)
==============================

Managed it? Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay? Do you think there are three?

How many? 3?
Wrong, there are 6!--No joke.
Read it again.
The reasoning behind is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF".
Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is
a genius. Three is normal, four is very rare.
2 Comments
Strange but True Facts - Nov 9, 2007 6:29 am
161 Views
The ancient Greeks called our galaxy the Milky Way because they thought it was made from drops of milk from the breasts of the Greek goddess Hera.

Yuri Gagarin survived the first manned spaceflight but was killed in a plane crash seven years later.

Astronauts become a little taller in space. There is less gravity, so their bones are less squashed together.

Astronauts' footprints and Lunar Rover tyre tracks will stay on the moon for millions of years as there is no wind to blow them away.

About 1500 stars are visible at night with the naked eye in a clear, dark sky. There are 88 constellations altogether. The smallest star measures about 1700 km across. It is a white dwarf called LP 327-16.

The first object to orbit earth was Sputnik 1, launched by the USSR in October 1957.

The first animal in space was the Soviet dog, Laika, in November 1957. It died on the flight.

The first animals to survive in orbital spaceflight were the Soviet dogs, Strelka and Belka, launched in Sputnik 5 in August 1960.

The first person to orbit earth was Yuri Gagarin, from the USSR, in April 1961.

The first American to orbit earth was John Glenn in February 1962.

The first woman in space was Valentina Tereshkova, from the USSR, in June 1963.

The first person to walk on the moon was Neil Armstrong in July 1969
0 Comments
The Intuitive Drunk Nov 9, 2007 6:23 am
166 Views
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2 percent milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

The drunk says, "You must be single."


The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelicts intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she says, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?'

The drunk replies, "Cause you're ugly."
0 Comments
Maharishi Fattifatbastard’s Guide to Zen Nov 9, 2007 6:03 am
161 Views
* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.


* The darkest hours come just before the dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.


* Sex is like air.
It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

* Don't aspire to become irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.

* Never forget that like everyone else, you are unique.

* Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

* If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments

* Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

* If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.


* Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

* Have you ever lent someone £20 and never seen that person again?
It was probably worth it.

* If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

* Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.

* Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

* Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman.
Neither one works.

* Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.

* Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

* When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse.
From there on in, life gets worse

* The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.
0 Comments
Helpdesk Questions Nov 9, 2007 4:29 am
176 Views
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

******

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....

******

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

******
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

******
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it....

******
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................Thank you.

******

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

******
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
******
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

******
A customer couldn't get on the Internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

******
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

******
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

******
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
0 Comments
Creepy!! Nov 9, 2007 3:28 am
137 Views
This is creepy!
Think of a letter between
A and W.
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Repeat it
out loud as
you scroll down.
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Keep going ............................ . .
Don't stop . . ..
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Think of an
animal
that begins
with that letter.
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Repeat it
out loud
as you
scroll down.
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Think of
either a man's/woman's
name
that
begins
with the
last letter
in the
animals name
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Almost
there........
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Now
count out
the letters
in that name
on the fingers
of the hand
you are not
using to
scroll down.
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Take the
hand you
counted with
and hold it out
in front of you
at face level
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Look at your
palm
very closely
and
notice
the
lines
in
your
hand
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Do the lines
take the
form of the
first letter
in the
persons name?
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. Of course they fu**in don’t.......
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.Now smack
yourself in the head, get a life,
and
quit playing
stupid
games!
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Don't
tell the secret
to others,…………….
0 Comments
Never tap the driver on the shoulder...... Nov 9, 2007 2:03 am
185 Views
A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a
bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”
1 comment
Insurance claim Nov 9, 2007 2:00 am
168 Views
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one
of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
0 Comments
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