|
FUNNY SIGNS
|
Dec 3, 2007 8:49 am
1753 Views
|
Funny Signs
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
|
Dusty Housekeeping
|
Dec 3, 2007 8:48 am
1515 Views
|
Dusty Housekeeping
My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
Christmas Trees!
|
Dec 3, 2007 8:45 am
1743 Views
|
This is a Christmas tree.
It is not an Xmas tree,
It is not a Hanukkah bush,
it is not an Allah plant,
it is not a Holiday hedge.
It is a Christmas tree.
Say it... CHRISTmas , CHRISTmas , CHRISTmas
Yes. CHRISTmas - celebrating the Birth of Jesus Christ!!!
Take a stand and pass this on !!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
Why God Created Pets
|
Dec 3, 2007 8:41 am
1521 Views
|
A newly discovered chapter in the book of Genisis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come from?'
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you a re and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this
new animal.'
And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.' And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased and Dog was happy. And Cat didn't give a hoot one way or the other.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
Innocence is Priceless.
|
Dec 3, 2007 8:38 am
1688 Views
|
Innocence is Priceless
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed
little Alex standing in the foyer of the
church staring up at a large plaque. It was
covered with names with small American
flags mounted on either side of it.
The seven year old stared at the plaque for
some time, so the pastor walked up, stood
beside the little boy, and said quietly,
"Good morning Alex."
"Good morning Pastor," he replied, still
focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is
this?" he asked.
The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a
memorial to all the young men and women who
died in the service."
Soberly, they just stood together, staring
at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's
voice, barely audible and trembling with
fear, asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or
the 10:45?"
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
To link to this blog (broadcastdeejay) use [blog broadcastdeejay] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
35
|
41
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
