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THANKSGIVING WEATHER FORECAST
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Nov 19, 2007 12:22 pm
610 Views
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Thanksgiving Weather Forecast
In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is one, you should be sure to email your Mom.
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
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New Turkey Cooking Procedure
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Nov 19, 2007 12:19 pm
649 Views
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NEW TURKEY RECIPE
Your dinner will be the talk of the TOWN!!
You should try this!
Sure to bring smiles from your guests!
Here is a new way to prepare your Thanksgiving Turkey.
1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.
2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully. (see attached picture for details)
3. Roast according to your own recipe and serve.
4. Watch your guests' faces...
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Thoughts to Change your Outlook
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Nov 16, 2007 1:48 am
445 Views
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Thoughts To Change You Outlook
* A person who smiles in the face of adversity.....probably has a scapegoat.
* Plagiarism saves time.
* If at first you don't succeed, try management.
* Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
* TEAMWORK.....means never having to take all the blame yourself.
* Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
* INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
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JOB BENEFITS
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Nov 16, 2007 1:46 am
669 Views
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Job Benefits
A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay.
She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five year's salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they paid the full premiums."
"I can't help but ask why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt."
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FEMALE BUMPER STICKERS
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Nov 16, 2007 1:44 am
457 Views
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Female Bumper Stickers
- Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen!
- If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen!
- Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off!
- Out of estrogen, and I have a gun!
- Guys have feelings too but... who cares?
- Next mood swing: 6 minutes
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She's endorsed by WHO?
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Nov 15, 2007 11:58 am
471 Views
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I swear, I'm not making this up. I couldn't write this on my own. Not even the great Deejay is THAT creative.
It's official. Congressman Barney Frank (D) has endorsed Hillary for President. According to the headline and story, she is, and this is a direct quote, "the best-equipped candidate to promote gay rights".
Well, isn't THAT a strapping endorsement? and just in time...when the rest of the TV comedy writers are on strike!
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ARE YOU HONEST ???
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Nov 14, 2007 12:42 pm
646 Views
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Are You Honest? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Bygiving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in whichyou will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest,yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
THE SITUATION: You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.. There is chaos all around youcaused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you'recaught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive furor.
THE TEST: Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life,trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Hillary Clinton! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under forever. You have two options: You can save the life of Hillary Clinton, or - - - you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful and brilliant women.
THE QUESTION: Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.... Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
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Who Has the REAL Power?
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Nov 12, 2007 1:32 pm
535 Views
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"Anybody notice that for daylight saving, the change is later this year? According to the New York Times, Congress made this decision in part from pressure from the candy lobby, who wanted an extra hour for trick or treating. Isn't that unbelievable? I mean, the research lobby can't get stem cell research through. The consumer lobby, we can't get lead out of toys. But by God, when it comes to an extra hour of eating sugar, the candy lobby has the power." --Jay Leno
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What Does it Take?
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Nov 12, 2007 1:29 pm
453 Views
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"Pat Philbin, the man who staged a fake FEMA news conference on the California wildfires last week, has lost his promotion because of the event. Which begs the question, 'What does it take to actually get fired from FEMA?'" --Amy Poehler
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FAULTS
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Nov 12, 2007 1:23 pm
422 Views
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Faults
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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