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Country Girl In Bluejeans
  
Things that run through annies little mind.
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WHAT WE SAY V WHAT WE MEAN Dec 14, 2007 11:22 am
Mood: silly, 673 Views
What Guys Say and What They Mean

1) "It's just orange juice, try it." ("3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head.")
2) "She's kinda cute." ("I wanna bang her til I'm blue.")
3) "I dunno if I like her." ("She won't blow me.")
4) "I need you." ("My hand is tired.")
5) "I had her." ("I had wet dreams about her all week.")
6) "I really wanna get to know you better." ("So we can do what I tell my friends we do already.")
7) "How do I compare with all your other BFs?" ("Is my penis really that small?")
"You're the only girl I've ever cared about." ("You're the only girl that hasn't rejected me.")
9) "I want you back." ("...for tonight anyway.")
10) "We've been through so much together." ("If not for you, I never would've lost my virginity.")
11) "I miss you so much." ("I'm so horny that my roommate is starting to look good.")
12) "No, I don't wanna dance right now." (Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on!")
13) "The break-up should not start for another few hours." ("I wanna have sex a few more times.")
14) "I'm different from all the other guys." ("I'm not circumcised.")

What Women Say and What They Mean

1) "Can't we just be friends?" ("There is no way in hell I am ever gonna let any part of your body touch mine again.")
2) "I just need some space." ("Yea, space without you in it.")
3) "Can you help me with my homework?" ("If I keep whining the fool will do it for me.")
4) "Do I look fat in this dress?" ("We haven't had a fight in awhile.")
5) "No, pizza's fine" ("Cheap bastard!")
6) "I just don't want a BF right now." ("I just don't want you as a BF.")
7) "I dunno; what do you wanna do?" ("I can't believe you don't have anything planned.")
"Come here." ("My puppy does this too.")
9) "I like you but..." ("I just don't like you.")
10) "You never listen." ("You never listen!")
11) "We're moving too quickly." ("I won't sleep with you til I find out if this guy in Bio has a GF or not.")
12) "I'll be ready in a minute." ("I am ready, but I'm gonna make you wait cuz I know you will.")
13) "Oh, no, I'll pay for myself!" ("I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch.")
14) "Oh, yes! Right there!" ("Well, near there; I just wanna get this over with.")
15) "I'm just goin out with the girls." ("We're gonna go out and make fun of you and your friends.")
16) "There's no one else." ("I'm doing your brother.")
17) "Size doesn't count..." ("Unless I want an orgasm.")
3 Comments
REDNECK ASTROLOGY what's your sign Dec 12, 2007 7:50 pm
Mood: silly, 681 Views
Redneck Astrology


Okra December 22 - January 20
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

Chitlin January 21 - February 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

Boll Weevil February 20 - March 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

Moon Pie March 21 - April 20
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. "Big" and "round" are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

Possum April 21 - May 21
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a "don't-bother-me-about-it" attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Crawfish May 22 - June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.

Collards June 22 - July 23
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

Catfish July 24 - August 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits August 24 - September 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

Boiled Peanuts September 24 - October 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

Butter Bean October 24 - November 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

Armadillo November 23 - December 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating possibility.
5 Comments
REDNECK DICTIONARY PART 2 Dec 12, 2007 7:30 pm
Mood: naughty, 632 Views
AH: The thing you see with, and the personal pronoun used denoting individuality.
Usage: "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah."
ARE: (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"
ARTERY: The Study of Paintings
AST: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal moonshine stills.
Usage: "Don't ast me so many question. It makes me mad."
ATTAIR: Contraction used to indicate a specific item of desire.
Usage: "Pass me attair gravy, please"
AWL: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts awl in my pickup truck."
BACKUP: What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
BAR CODE: Them’s the fight’n rules down at the local tavern.
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARIUM: What you do when CPR Fails.
BAHS: - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
BARD: - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
BAWL: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
Usage: "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."
BIT: A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
BLEEVE: Expression of intent or faith.
Usage: "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday."
BOBWAR: - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.
BYTE: What your pit bull done to cousin Jethro
CENT: Plural of cent.
Usage: "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."
CESEAREAN SECTION: A District in Rome
CHEER: (adverb) In this place.
Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".
COCA-COLA: The soft drink that started in Atlanta and conquered the world.
Usage: "Ah hear they even sell Coca-cola in Russia."
COLE'S LAW: Thinly shredded cabbage
COLIC: A sheep Dog
CYST: To render aid.
Usage: "Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma'am."
DAYUM: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind."
Usage: "Frankly,my dear, I don't give a dayum."
DID: - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
DILATE: To live long
EAR: - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
EVERWHICHWAYS: To be scattered in all directions.
Usage: "You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways.
FAR: - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
FARN: - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
FAT: - (noun), (verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
FESTER: Quicker
Usage: I'll bet that Leroy is Fester than you are.
FLARES: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant.
Usage: "If yo wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."
FUR: Because of or to indicate possession.
Usage: "Fur yew ta get attair new car yew gotta go see Bubba bout a loan."
GOOD OLE BOY: Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin', huntin', and good lookin' women, but not necessarily in that order.
Usage: "Bubba's a good ole boy."
GRIYUTS: What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits.
Usage: "Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt on'em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy."
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
GUMMIT: - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!
4 Comments
Redneck Dictionary Dec 12, 2007 8:30 am
Mood: bouncy, 855 Views
How to talk redneck in one easy lesson
Aig - What a hen lays
Aints - He's got aints in his paints
Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin
Arn - Ma's tard of arnin
Bag - He bagged her to marry him
Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence
Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
Bub - the light bub burned out
Cheer - What you set in
Crick - A small stream
Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon
Chiny - country over in Asia
Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes
Core - He got hisself a new Ford core
Cyow - Animal on Farm
Deppity - He helps out the shurf
Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt
Dainz - Satidy night social
Ellum - A graceful tree
Fanger - What you put your rang on
Faince - Whats round the hawg lot
Far - What get the brandin arn hot
Furred - He got furred from his job
Flar - A rose is a purdy flar
Frash - Them aigs ain't frash
Furiners - All non-'bamans
Further - Hits ten miles further to town
Grain - She was grain with envy
Hail - Where bad folks go
Hep - Poor George, he can't hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
Hern - It aint hern, it's his'n
Hilbilly - People in the next county
Hollar - Whats between the hills
Hard - Got a brend new hard
hand Tar - His core blew a tar
Laymun - A sour fruit
Laig - Most folks have two of them
Lather - What you climb up
Liberry - Where you go to check out books for larnin
Mailk - what you get from cyows
Mere - What you see your self in
Minners - Live bait
Misrus - Married Woman
Nar - Opposite of wide
Nayk - Your head sets on it
Nup - No
Orrel - Them hinges need orrel
Ormy - What the sojers go in
Pank - A light red color
Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow
Petition - What separate the rooms
Poke - A paper bag or sack
Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in Poke
Salit - A green vegetable
Puppet - What the preacher is in
Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher
Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig
Rang - You wear it on your fanger
Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts
Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town
Rainch - A big cow farm
Rat - Do it rat now!
Rench - Rench the soap yourself
Roont - She plum roont her shoes
Salary - A stringy vegetable
Soardeens - Small canned fish
Shar - A light rain
Gully Worsher - A medium heavy rain
Toad strangler - A heavy rain Sody
Pop - A soft drink
Sprang - Water out'n the ground
Shurf - The Shurf put Clem in jail
Storch - This here aprn has to much storch in it
Skeered - that plumb skeered me to death
Thanks - He shore thanks he's smart
Tho - Tho me the ball
Thoat - I shore got a sore thoat
War - A bobbed war fance
Worsh - Go worsh your face
Warter - What you worsh your face in
Yurp - A continent overseas
7 Comments
Pure Country Dec 11, 2007 5:58 pm
Mood: silly, 546 Views
You know you live in a small town when...

It has an aquarium -- stocked with a live minnows

The town newspaper is published monthly

The town is named after EVERYONE'S distant relative.

It was founded on April Fools' Day as a practical joke.

The Ice Cream store has only two flavors, chocolate and vanilla.

There's no hospital -- only a first aid kit

For fun on Saturday nights, people drive up and down main street.

There's no bank... as soon as someone gets enough money, they leave.

The only traffic jam's are caused when a farmer drives down Main Street on his combine.

The local phone book has only one yellow page.

Hardware, Dry Goods, Grocery, Clothing and farm supplies are all sold at the same store.

Third Street is on the edge of town

You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.

No social events are scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

Everyone knows all the news before it's published
People read the paper to see whether the publisher got the facts right.
The city limits signs are both on the same post.

McDonald's only has one Golden Arch

The 7-11 is only open from 8 - 5.

The only road crossing Main Street is a dirt road.

The New Year's baby was born in October.

The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both direction
There's no place to go that you shouldn't

"Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes

At the last beauty contest, nobody won 2nd or 3rd.
4 Comments
REDNECK ETIQUETTE Dec 10, 2007 6:09 pm
Mood: mischievous, 592 Views
As a certified redneck from Arkansas (only missed 1 on the test) thought i would share our answer to Emily Post.
Redneck Etiquette
- Redneck Driving Etiquette -
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

- Redneck Personal Hygiene -
Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.
If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work.
A cigarette lighter and a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours.
Note: Its a good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.

- Redneck Dining Out -
Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all, their mobile home costs just as much as yours.

- Redneck Entertaining in Your Home -
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his manners are.
If your dog falls in love with a guest's leg, have the decency to leave them alone for a few minutes.

- Redneck Dating (Outside the Family) -
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two years ago."
If a girl's name does not appear regularly on a bathroom wall, water tower, or an overpass, odds are good that the date will end in frustration.

- Redneck Theater Etiquette -
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

- Redneck Wedding Etiquette -
Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Its is not okay for the groom to bring a date to a wedding.
When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.
A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent.
For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

- Redneck Etiquette for All Occasions -
Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
Always say "Excuse me" after getting sick in someone else's car.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially if other people are around.
Always provide an alibi to the police for family members.
6 Comments
HAS A REDNECK BEEN USEN YOUR PUTER??? Dec 10, 2007 2:44 pm
Mood: tickled, 644 Views
10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

1. The start up sound has been changed to "DIXIE"
8 Comments
Stained-Glass Cookies Recipe Dec 8, 2007 10:01 am
Mood: sharing, 652 Views
While reading about Mistytraveller hilarious efforts to make cookies. It hit me as this is the season for giving, and these are my niece and nephews favorite Christmas cookie. Others might like to make them for their, younguns. So if you like the cookies please give misty a ^5 for the inspiration, and if you don't care for them it's all misty's fault to hehehee.
These make a pretty cookie that look like stained glass windows. The original recipe called for cut up gum drops but no one wanted the ones with licorice in them LOL.

Stained-Glass Cookies Recipe

3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 Tablespoons water
1 cup butter or margarine melted and cooled
1 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
6 Tablespoons light corn syrup
2 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
16 oz jelly fruit slices** cut in small pieces

1. preheat oven to 375 and put oven rack in middle position
2. cream sugars, butter/margarine, and corn syrup till smooth
3. in small bowl combine baking soda and water
4. add baking soda/water,eggs and vanilla to creamed mixture
5. beat in flour and salt
6. add candy
7. spoon on to cookie sheets about 1 1/2 teaspoon per cookie leaving about 3 inches in between
8. Bake 1 sheet at a time, until cookies are deep golden brown and flat, about 12 minutes
9. cool a few minutes before removing cookies from cookie sheets
makes approximately 6 doz

** i get the cheap fruit slices at the dollar store
9 Comments
DOES SIZE MATTER Dec 7, 2007 10:40 am
822 Views
OK Ladies Truthie Time this is the 6, 7, 8 or more date. You really like this guy, and he seems to be crazy about you. The moment has finally arrived, but when he drops his drawer's something is definitely lacking, so what do you do?
The chemistry is still there size doesn't matter so you go for it.
Well, they say it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean, so let's see his moves, and do it.
Well he has bought you many meals, so before you make your self scarce give him a mercy boink.
You suddenly develop a terrible migraine politely excuse your self and leave but on the way out you are deleting his number .
Point ask him who he thinks he is gona please with that little thing, other than him self, and laugh your self silly.
5 Comments, 13 votes
THINGS I LEARNED IN GRADESCHOOL Dec 5, 2007 2:01 pm
Mood: playfull, 631 Views
1. Crayons are not fruit flavored, though paste tastes good.

2. If u want a boy to notice you ignore him. stick your lil nose in the air when you see him and move away like he has cooties, drives them nuts and the next thing u know they will be pulling your hair and be doing hand stands for you.

3. The magic 9's i still love them anything you multiply by 9 the digits of the number add up to 9. ie:9x11=99 9+9=18 1+8=9

4. Attention never comes when you want it. Climb the jungle gym stand on top waving frantically and no one notice but split your pants on the way down and everyone will see.

5. Almost no one but teachers know the meaning of the word mnemonic's. I loved them and still use them in my teaching, my favorite will probably always be ROY G BIV the colors of the rainbow Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo and Violet.
I rushed home from school so excited
Annie: MOM MOM 2 day i learned all about mnemonic's
Mom: young lady do you need your mouth washed out with soap.

6. You can guarantee a windy day when you mom makes you wear a skirt and your only clean undies have the big brown stain.

7. The cutest boy in class will only look at you when at lunch you laugh while drinking and milk sprays out your nose.

please take the time to share one of your own
8 Comments
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